Chapter 14
fourteen
MAYA
“I’m pregnant.”
It’s the first time Ellie’s spoken in twenty minutes. She’s mostly just been staring at the wall or muttering into Stevie’s hair. She’s holding onto her baby like she’s afraid she’ll run away.
“That’s…” I want to say it’s great news. I know they always planned on having more kids. Theo was an only child and jokes about how he forced himself on Ellie’s family and made Ezra his brother. And Ellie, well, she and Ezra didn’t always get along as kids. They were never close until recently. But I know she wanted to make up for that with her own children one day.
“It’s not happy news?” I try, hoping this at least isn’t the wrong thing to say.
“They said I was just really lucky with Stevie. That we must have conceived during a flare this time. The doctor doesn’t think my symptoms will improve until after she’s born. They want me to visit the doctor every other week, in Burlington, to check my kidneys and a million other things. At one point I thought they might not let me leave.”
She looks so defeated. Like there’s no end in sight to her pain. I so badly want to take it away.
“El, that’s okay. That’s a good thing. You’ll have all the best doctors making sure you and the baby are healthy. And I’ll stay here and help as long as you want. I’ll take you to all your appointments—I mean, I’m way better company in the hospital than Theo. We’ll make trips to Burlington our whole personality. I’ll make special playlists and I’ll crochet you the best hospital slippers the world has ever see?—”
“She might not make it,” Ellie interrupts. From the tone of her voice, I don’t think she even heard anything I said.
“She?”
“I know it’s a girl. I can feel it.” I decide it’s not the right time to remind her that she was sure Stevie was a boy, hence naming her after Theo’s dad.
“Did the doctor tell you that?” I ask.
“He said we should be prepared for a difficult pregnancy that might not come to full term.”
That seems like some shitty bedside manners, but I guess honesty is a good policy in a case like this.
My heart aches for Ellie, for the fact that I have no idea how to make this right.
Could I wish for it? A healthy pregnancy with no complications? There’s so many variables, too many ways it could go wrong. And maybe there’s nothing to worry about. Ellie got through her first pregnancy just fine. Things could turn around any day for the better.
“Ellie, look at me.” She barely lifts her eyes. “I know there’s nothing I can say right now to make you feel better. I know this is a battle that you have to get through and no one else can do it for you. Just promise me you’ll have hope. You’ve been through so much, and you know better than anyone that you should never lose hope. That sometimes we go through all the dark stuff just to make the sun shine even brighter once we’re on the other side. You just have to power through.”
She doesn’t respond. And her gaze never leaves Stevie. I can see exactly where her mind is headed and I hate that she worries about being a good mom. That she thinks her illness gets in the way. Once Stevie is older, I’ll make it my mission for her to tell Ellie every day what an amazing mother she is.
Until then…
A knock sounds at the door before it slowly swings open.
“Hey, Sis,” Ezra offers by way of greeting. His voice is tentative, like maybe their last interaction didn’t go so well. I can only imagine how tough that car ride home was for each of them.
I stand up, offer Ezra the chair next to Ellie. Theo comes in a moment later and joins us, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I want Ezra to stay with us,” Theo says. He moves, kneeling in front of his wife, letting his hands rest on her legs. “I know you want to keep your hospital visits to a minimum, and I’ll feel a hell of a lot better with a doctor in the house. Can we compromise?”
It seems like Ellie didn’t mention all the details to me. Her tight grip on Stevie makes sense if she thought she was going back to the hospital much sooner.
I watch her consider his words, watch Theo and Ezra hold their breath waiting for her answer. Maybe I’m not special at all. Ever since I’ve known Ellie, it felt like it was us against the world, always taking care of each other. But these two men would both go to war for her. It’s clear as day.
It’s strange knowing she has a whole unit, when I’ve only ever had her.
Does she even need me? For the millionth time since I arrived in Sugar Valley, I find myself wondering what the hell I’m doing here.
These are private moments…for her family . I shouldn’t be a part of this, no matter how much I might want to. I back away toward the door, hoping I can sneak out.
“Don’t go,” Ellie murmurs.
“What?”
“I don’t want you to leave.” Ellie looks at Theo, then her brother. “Ez, you can stay here, of course you can. But…”
“That’s okay, El,” I say, just as Ezra offers to sleep on the couch and let me keep the guest room.
“For nine months?” I ask him. “That’s ridiculous. You’re a grown man and you need a bedroom. And a bed!”
I look at Ellie and see her chin start to wobble. Does she really want me here that much? Even with Theo and Ezra here for her constantly?
“I won’t go anywhere, okay?” I say to her. “I’ll just get a hotel.”
Arguing ensues about where I can stay. For the first time, I’m annoyed with how nice they all are. Theo even starts reaching out to all his renters, trying to determine if any of the village cabins will have vacancies. Fully booked until March.
The closest hotel might be twenty minutes away, but if Ellie wants me here, I’ll gladly make the trip multiple times a day.
“Don’t book anything yet,” Theo says when he sees me searching on my phone. “Still waiting to hear back from one unit.”
The guys put Stevie down for a nap and tell us they’re going out for a bit and will come back with lunch. Ellie and I decide to use the free time to distract ourselves with a Netflix marathon.
“How many tears do you have left?” I ask her.
“Why?”
“Because I can’t decide between Grey’s Anatomy or Vampire Diaries .”
She eyes me from the couch cushions we’ve arranged on the floor.
“Halloween’s over,” she mumbles. “Let’s have a good cry.”