Chapter 32
thirty-two
MAYA
“Maya, will you live with us forever?”
“Umm, what?” I’m used to Poppy catching me off guard but this is definitely a new one.
“ Poppy .”
“Daddy, you were taking too long. You promised we could ask her tonight.”
Liam huffs and slumps back in his chair. “I said we’d do it during dessert,” he mumbles.
“What’s going on?” I ask. I’m trying not to laugh but their dynamic is just too precious sometimes.
“Daddy wants you to be his princess and we want you to live here forever and ever. Will you? I promise I won’t cry when you leave again. I know you’ll come back now.”
Oh. Oh . I look at Liam, let my eyes display the question.
“She’s the picture of eloquence, huh?” He turns in his chair until he’s fully facing me and rests a hand on top of mine. “I’ve been wanting to ask you, once Ellie’s better and life is, well, back to normal I guess? If you’d want to stay here. With us. For as long as you want. We’d both really like that.”
“Please, Maya?”
“Poppy!”
“Sorry.”
“You don’t have to answer now. There’s no pressure, okay?” He quirks a brow at his daughter. “I just needed you to know that what I want, what we want, really, is for you to be a part of this family. I didn’t want there to be any confusion about that.”
There’s no fireworks. No diamond ring. Not even a declaration of love or something else equally grandiose.
Yet somehow this feels like one of the biggest moments in my life, the kind of thing I’ll remember until my very last breath.
Part of this family .
“I love you,” I murmur. The shallow breath Liam takes has me biting my lip. I love that I said it first. That I could give him that. That I wasn’t afraid. “Both of you,” I offer to Poppy. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
Poppy jumps out of her chair and onto my lap, giving me the best hug I’ve ever had. My head is swimming with everything I just admitted, with the responsibility I agreed to. He has to know I wouldn’t say these things on a whim. I am in this, as much as a person can be. Poppy might call me princess for the rest of our lives, but I’ll be anything she wants, anything she needs me to be.
Five months is all it took. She completely owns me now.
My eyes find Liam’s when I peek over Poppy’s shoulder.
“Are you…” God, this sounds ridiculous in my head. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend? Or just a permanent roommate?”
“Girlfriend, princess, lady of the house. We can call you whatever you want, Maya, as long as I can call you mine.”
“Can you still call me Pop-tart?” Poppy asks from the crook of my neck.
“Of course, sweetie.”
“Angel?” Liam asks, tapping her arm. “Can you go upstairs and put your PJs on? I need to talk to Maya alone for a minute.”
She gives me one final squeeze before hopping down and skipping up the stairs.
“Hi,” I say when we’re alone. It’s ridiculous and somehow all I can think of.
“Hi.” We’re both grinning like idiots. “There was something else I wanted to say, before Poppy pulled an audible on tonight’s plan.”
“Oh. Okay. I think I’d like to hear it.”
“Actually, first—” He leans in, bracing his hands on the back of my chair. His lips brush mine and he sighs against my mouth. It’s the best sound, like all he needed to relax was have his mouth on mine. “All right.” He grins. “I…I wanted to say that I’m glad you forgot about me. I don’t think your wish backfired at all.”
I look at him incredulously. Why would he say that?
“Just hear me out,” he continues. “I wasn’t worthy of you when we first met. I wasn’t even close.” He grabs onto both of my hands, pulling us closer together. “I barely had my shit together. Even when Poppy was healthy, I was just trying to survive and focus on my restaurant, and not be the worst parent on earth. I would have wanted to keep you then, even though I had no idea how. Hell, I did want to.” He blows out a shaky breath. “But now I know how. I know how to be a good dad and make this work. I know how to make you happy. I think I could spend the rest of my life making you happy, if you let me. Because I love you, Maya. So fucking much that I’m kind of pissed you said it first, even if it was the best thing I’ve ever heard you say.” He pauses and we both laugh. “We’re so much better with you here. And because of your wish, I think everything worked out exactly as it should.”
“I’m better here too,” I choke out. “I’m better with you and Poppy.”
“You really think so?”
“I know it. And maybe you’re right. Maybe my wishes aren’t all bad. Maybe?—”
“Are you guys done yet?” Poppy yells from the stairs. This time I can’t contain my laughter at all. “We still have to eat the churros!”
I look at Liam. “You made churros? For me?”
“Just in case the speech or Poppy’s begging didn’t work.”
“I know I already said yes, but I can still have them, right?”
“Of course.” He stands up and goes over to the stove. “Come on, Poppy. Let’s make our closing argument with extra chocolate so she can’t change her mind.”
An hour later, we’re watching Bluey , trying to get a reaction from Penguin, when I see headlights through the window.
“Is that Ezra’s SUV?” I ask Liam.
“Looks like it.”
He and Theo have been staying with his parents for the last few weeks. Ever since Ellie was admitted. It’s weird to see any movement at all next door.
Liam and I throw on jackets and head outside.
“Hey, Ez. What are you doing here?” Liam asks when we cross the driveway.
When he turns toward us I can see his eyes are red. He’s been crying.
“What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He sniffs. “I’m just grabbing some more clothes for Stevie. When I helped them pack her stuff I grabbed all the wrong things, they’re all too small now.”
“I’ll help you,” I offer, and follow him inside. Liam lets us know he’ll be next door with Poppy and to come by when we’re done.
“Want some tea while you’re here?” I ask, already filling up the kettle.
“Sure, yeah,” he replies, but he seems distracted, like his mind is in a million places. He sits down on one of the stools at the island, his gaze permanently fixed on nothing.
I grab two mugs and fill them up with mint leaves, hot water, and a touch of honey, and take the seat next to him.
“Here. Now tell me what’s going on. Please?”
“Nothing’s changed since you were there earlier, I just…” he drifts off. I try my best to offer an encouraging smile. I’ve never seen Ezra like this. He’s always so put-together, always the voice of reason in this group. “I’m such a fucking failure.” He rips off his glasses and tosses them on the counter, runs a hand through his hair. “I have failed her.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
A lone tear slides down his cheek but he ignores it. “I don’t know what Ellie’s told you, but I was a shit brother for most of our lives. And now…I thought with her moving back here, I finally had the chance to make things right, to be the kind of family she needs, to be…I don’t know. Hell, I went through however many years of medical training because I wanted to help her, just to know how . And look what’s happening? I can’t do shit. She’s so scared, and I just have to sit and watch every day and do nothing .”
“Nothing? You’re not doing nothing, Ez. You have been there for her at every step. You were the one who saw the change in her blood pressure and made sure she went straight to the hospital last month. You’ve been driving her to appointments, taking care of Stevie, keeping Theo sane through it all. You have been vital . That’s not nothing.”
He scoffs. “I can’t save her. She’s in so much pain, and she might—” his voice breaks. “This pregnancy could kill her. Do you realize that? And what am I good for? Picking up the right size clothes for Stevie. That’s what I’m doing to help.”
He abruptly sets down his mug and gets up, marching toward Stevie’s room.
“Ez?” My voice is just as shaky as his now, but he doesn’t turn around, just keeps walking.
I know exactly how he feels, helpless. I want to save her as much as he does. And hearing him say what I’ve been thinking, hearing it aloud makes it so much more real. It makes me realize I can’t just keep hoping for the best or staying optimistic.
I have to do something.
I follow him down the hall, into the baby’s room, and grab onto his shoulders to make him face me.
“She’s going to be fine. She’s going to be fine because she has you, and she has me, and I’m going to fix it, okay?” His tears break free and I don’t know how to console him because I’m sobbing just as hard. So I just repeat myself again and again and again until I know exactly what I have to do. “I’m going to fix it.”