Chapter 10 #3
In reality, job searching had been the last thing on my mind lately. Between trying to reconnect with Jace and keeping my life from falling apart again, employment barely even crossed my mind.
The voices slipped into my head so quietly it almost blended with my own thoughts.
He doesn’t believe you.
He’s watching your hands.
I curled my fingers together tighter in my lap.
Dr. Loomis noticed immediately. “Is everything alright? You seem a little tense today,” he observed gently.
I smirked lightly and shifted nervously in my seat. “Really? I thought I was doing pretty good at pretending to be a functioning member of society today.”
Dr. Loomis didn’t smile.
His eyes stayed fixed on me carefully… too carefully.
That man studied people the way hunters watched movement in dark woods, patiently waiting for something to reveal itself.
Dr. Loomis slowly leaned forward, resting his elbows against the desk as his attention narrowed fully onto me.
“Haelyn… are you hearing the voices again?”
For half a second, my mind blanked.
I wanted to tell him they never truly left; I’d just gotten better at pretending they weren’t there.
This is not the time to start being honest, Haelyn.
Are you trying to get sent back already? We just got you out of there.
I straightened my posture, forcing calm back into my expression.
“No,” I answered carefully. “I think I’m just still adjusting to everything again, so my mind’s been a little overstimulated lately.”
Dr. Loomis’s expression relaxed… but not completely.
“Feeling overstimulated after a release is common,” he explained calmly. “A lot of patients struggle with the transition back into everyday life at first. The noise, the freedom, the lack of structure… it takes time.”
His gaze sharpened slightly behind his glasses.
“But Haelyn, if you are experiencing episodes again you know you can be honest with me. Honesty is the only thing that keeps me from questioning whether you’re truly adjusting well outside the facility. I can’t help you properly if you only tell me what you think I want to hear.”
Don’t trust him.
He’s trying to trick you.
Dr. Loomis paused briefly. “My goal isn’t to send you back; it’s to keep you stable enough to stay out.”
Yeah, okay.
Ever since my release, you’ve been looking at me like I’m one bad day away from chewing through drywall and chasing pigeons barefoot through traffic.
One wrong answer and suddenly everybody would start whispering about “regression” and “concerns” again.
At this point, you should’ve just kept me locked up if you’re gonna spend every session waiting for me to twitch wrong, blink too hard, or accidentally confirm whatever diagnosis you’ve already made up in your head about me.
Those were my actual thoughts, and I was itching to say every last one of them out loud.
I kept my face calm even while my pulse climbed.
“I’m fine,” I assured him softly. “I promise.”
Liar.
But smile. Normal people smile.
Taking the voices advice, I smiled.
And somehow, based on Dr. Loomis’s expression, that seemed to concern him even more.
Still, the rest of the session passed without incident.
I answered his questions carefully, stayed calm, and gave him just enough honesty to sound believable without revealing anything dangerous.
By the end of it, he still looked suspicious, but suspicion alone wasn’t enough to get me recommitted to Willowgate.
Thirty minutes later, I stepped out into the afternoon warmth and exhaled slowly. The outside world still didn’t feel completely real to me yet. Everything was louder than I remembered, brighter than I liked, and I had entirely too much freedom all at once.
My phone rang before I even made it halfway down the sidewalk.
It was Zonnique.
A slow grin spread across my lips.
I cleared my throat, smoothed my voice into something bright and innocent, and then answered.
“Hello?”
“Talia? Good afternoon, this is Zonnique. I—”
There was a pause, the sound of papers shuffling in the background.
“Well… I have good news. You got the job.”
I gasped softly, hand to my chest like I hadn’t already known it was coming. “Oh my God, seriously? Are you… are you sure?”
Zonnique chuckled lightly, though she still sounded guarded.
“I’m sure. Your background came back clean, and your interview was…
memorable. But there’s still one more step before we move forward with the contract.
You’ll need to complete a full health screening which consists of bloodwork, vitals, psych clearance, the usual. ”
“Okay, sure. When?” I asked quickly.
“In two days. We’ll meet at a private clinic downtown. I’ll text you the address.”
I smiled softly, twisting a strand of hair around my finger.
“That’s fine. Um… will Mer—” I caught myself quickly. “I mean, Mr. Belvior be there? I just thought it might be nice to meet the man whose child I’d potentially be carrying.”
There was a pause on the other end… too long.
Zonnique’s voice returned pleasant, but tighter that time. “Unfortunately, no. But you’ll meet him soon. I promise.”
My smile twitched. “Of course,” I mumbled softly.
“But before meeting him, we need to change a few things.”
“A few things like what?” I asked, shifting the phone against my ear.
“Your appearance,” Zonnique answered carefully.
There was a brief pause before she quickly added, “And don’t take that the wrong way because face-wise and body-wise?
You’re beautiful… naturally beautiful. But hair, clothes, upkeep—those things matter too.
Sometimes they completely change how people perceive you. ”
I stayed quiet while listening.
“And if this is really going to happen, you’ll eventually be representing Merge in some capacity whether either of you want that attention or not. People pay attention to who stands beside men like him.”
There it was again… Merge.
Still strange hearing Jace called that.
“So, we need to elevate you a little,” she said lightly. “Wardrobe, hair, maintenance… nothing over the top. Everything will be on me financially, so don’t stress about that.”
I thought I looked perfectly fine already.
Matter of fact, Jace liked me exactly how I was back then.
Hoodies, natural hair, soft makeup—none of that ever seemed to bother him.
But the version of him I knew clearly wasn’t the same man existing now.
I guess I didn’t mind upgrading a little if it meant fitting better into his world.
“Okay,” I agreed finally. “That’s fine.”
“Good,” Zonnique replied warmly. “I’ll see you Wednesday then. And congratulations again.”
“Thank you,” I expressed, voice sugary sweet. “You won’t regret this.”
“Let’s hope not,” she muttered before ending the call.
The line went dead.
I slowly sat down on a nearby bench, staring at my reflection in the dark phone screen while excitement bubbled inside my chest.
“Soon,” I whispered to myself, smiling wider. “She said I’ll see Jace soon.”
My reflection smiled back at me—bright-eyed, hopeful, adoring… and a little unhinged.
I pressed the phone against my chest and laughed softly under my breath.
“You hear that, Jace?!” I shouted excitedly. “We’re about to have the family we’ve always talked about! I knew you’d forgive me and come back to me! Everybody thought I was crazy, but I knew you wouldn’t leave me forever!”
My eyes watered instantly.
“You came back different, that’s all,” I continued gently, almost lovingly. “Different name, different life… but it’s still you. I know it!”
The thought made me giggle quietly.
A couple walking past slowed down slightly, staring at me while I sat there smiling and talking to myself.
That’s when I finally blinked back into reality.
My smile dropped just enough for embarrassment to creep in.
I quickly glanced around, suddenly checking to make sure Dr. Loomis hadn’t walked outside and overheard me. Once I realized I was in the clear, I smoothed down my shirt, cleared my throat, and stood. Then I continued walking home with a smile I couldn’t quite hide.
We’re finally gonna see each other again, Jace, and when we do, nobody’s taking you from me ever again.