24. Jesse
JESSE
M y heart is liable to beat right out of my chest as the chords of “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran start to play. I don’t hate karaoke because I’m bad at singing. I hate it because I hate being in front of a crowd, and being on stage is a certain kind of hell I avoid at all costs.
But desperate times call for desperate measures, and it’s taking everything in me not to pass out up here. The only thing keeping me upright is the way Adrian is looking at me right now, his date turning toward the stage to see what has him captivated.
Take a good look, motherfucker.
Because I finally know what I want, and I’m not going down without a fight.
The song plays on and the words come easy, my heart bleeding for him and my soul bared to the man in the most public way imaginable.
But it doesn’t matter.
Because I’d been damn near out of my mind last night when I couldn’t find him. I’ve been all over town today hoping that I hadn’t missed my chance.
That Adrian hadn’t been swept off his feet before I could tell him how I feel.
A lifetime had passed since I walked out of his apartment, the things that I’d held on to falling away to reveal something new and vulnerable in me.
Something beautiful.
I’d been stubborn and immature, the realization embarrassing when the gravity of what I’d be losing finally hit me.
He could still walk away.
And I’ll have no one to blame but myself.
The crowd cheers and the DJ pries the microphone from my hand, but all I can see is Adrian and his date getting up from the table.
And if karaoke is bad, this is worse.
Because he’s leaving.