Chapter 28
Twenty-Eight
Lainey
“I had insanely hot phone sex with Sawyer.”
Every woman at the table turns to me, mouths dropping open.
And right, announcing that during lunch at Molly’s was probably the wrong move.
I glance to the side, make sure that Ollie’s still focused on the trains in the kid’s corner. He’s fully engrossed in pushing one up the ramp and sending it racing back down.
Then I turn back to the curious eyes of six women—Faye, Luna, Violet, Kailey, Harper, and Veronica.
Thank God Bri isn’t here.
I don’t need to be corrupting her young ears.
Then again, the almost twenty-year-old has seen (and heard) far worse.
“Care to elaborate?” Violet asks in a businesslike tone—which may have made it all better if not for the fact that those freaking gorgeous blue eyes of hers are dancing with humor.
“No.” I groan and wave a hand. “Please go back to the story you were sharing. I’m very interested in hearing about this new client of yours.”
“Nice try,” Luna says, bouncing Reese on her knee. “Spill it, girlfriend.”
Harper nods. “Details, please.”
I turn to Kailey, but she just burps Sophie and shakes her head. “Not gonna get out of this one, I’m afraid.”
Faye just smiles. “Save us all the trouble and spill already.”
Veronica is my last hope, but she just shakes her head. “Can’t drop something like that into conversation and expect to just go on like you haven’t just given us the best piece of gossip we’ve had in ages.”
“That can’t possibly be true.”
She shrugs, her mouth tipping up at the edges. “I tell no lies.”
“Harper is knocked up!”
Harper just smooths a hand over her belly and nibbles at her apple turnover. “Old news.”
“Faye’s house burned down!”
“Something that ultimately worked out pretty well for you,” Faye says, her lips twitching. “Considering you moved into my old house.”
“Luna called in a contract from when she and Aiden were teenagers,” I point out.
“Some might say that was just smart business,” she says.
“Violet is a matchmaker for hockey players and somehow matched herself to one!”
“Not somehow,” Violet says, her gorgeous face lit up with humor.
And love—the love is there and it’s deep and beautiful and complicated and…
Vi. “I’m matched up with my own hockey player because he’s somehow stubborn, frustrating, impossible, and—” A grin.
“The best thing that’s ever happened to me. ”
Luna grins and points at Vi. “Now that’s a great answer.”
Vi blows on her nails, buffs them on her shoulder. “I do try.” Then her gaze comes to mine. “Spill it.”
I glance at Kailey.
“Don’t even try it,” she says. “We all know my story—nerdy girl falls for the hot, loud, adorably teddy-bear-like hockey player. Add in a dash of video games, dyslexia, an asshole of a father—” Luna leans over and squeezes her arm.
“And a happily-ever-after.” Her face goes soft.
“Mostly because my hockey player has the biggest heart around.”
The table goes quiet.
Then Luna sniffs. “Dammit, Kailey,” she whispers, wiping at the corner of her eye.
And she’s not the only one.
Because Smitty does have that big heart.
And because Kailey is happy.
They all are—
Except maybe Veronica.
Who does a great job of pretending to be happy.
But…
I don’t think she is. Not truly.
Mostly because the sadness in her eyes calls to the sadness inside me. Or it used to, anyway.
Because I haven’t been all that sad of late.
Veronica, on the other hand…
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit. “It hasn’t been that long since Ben and—” I shove my curls out of my face and exhale heavily.
“I promised I wouldn’t jump into anything, promised I wouldn’t let myself get attached again.
Not when—” I clamp my lips together, shake my head.
“I’m terrified,” I whisper. “I really like him. Maybe more than I ever—”
I cut off the flow of words, dropping my gaze down to my hands.
I can’t finish that sentence.
I cannot say that out loud.
Not even here.
I can’t.
“Is there a reason,” Faye says gently, “that you can’t just ride this out? Just go with the flow and see where things take you.”
“That’s what I’ve been doing.” I groan and shove my curls back again. “I keep telling myself it’s nothing serious, that it’s just two people who like hanging out. But he’s so good with Ollie and he’s sweet and thoughtful, and…I’m already too attached to pretend it’s anything remotely casual.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Vi asks.
“Yes.” I tilt my head toward the ceiling. “No. Yes. What if it…”
“It won’t,” Luna says.
“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”
“I do.” Her expression is gentle. “What if it all goes wrong?”
My heart convulses—then doesn’t stop.
“What if he hurts me?” Faye asks.
“What if I give him my heart…and he throws it away?” Harper murmurs.
“What if I’m not enough?” Kailey says.
“What if I give in and it all goes bad?” Veronica asks.
“And what if, after it all goes wrong, I end up alone anyway?” Vi finishes softly.
Quiet falls over the table and after a moment, the sounds of the bakery begin to drift back in—the steam from the espresso machine, the bell above the door, the soft rumble of conversations, the clunks of the trains colliding in the corner.
I close my eyes, my mind clearing, the words slipping off my tongue and drifting out into the world.
“What if I become her again?”
Faye’s expression gentles. Luna leans close and takes my hand. Kailey touches my shoulder. Veronica smiles softly, and Harper’s eyes are full of compassion.
But it’s Vi who speaks the truth.
“You won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Because we won’t let you.”
I suck in a breath.
“But, more importantly, you won’t let you.”
“Great,” Luna says. “Now that that’s out of the way, tell us about that insanely hot phone sex.”