Chapter 45
Forty-Five
Sawyer
“I think I found the issue,” Leo says the following morning.
We spent the night at my place last night—and while Lainey was far from impressed with my bachelor pad condo, Ollie loved it.
Though I suspect the former is because my desk was too neatly organized for Lainey’s creative process and the latter is only because Ollie got to watch his show on my big ass TV.
We could have stayed at Faye and Gray’s last night, but Lainey and I both felt more comfortable with a little more distance between the house and us.
Gray kept a lookout…with nothing much to show for it.
Now, this morning, Ollie’s at school, we’re back at Lainey’s house, waiting on a call from the detective, and my family has shown up.
Leo points at the screen of Lainey’s phone. “There’s a blind spot between the porch and the flower bed.”
I watch as he scrolls through the different views of the cameras, see that he’s right. “Fuck,” I mutter.
“Sorry.”
I turn, see that Ryan’s standing beside us, worry etched into his face. “Why are you sorry?”
“That was my section of the cameras.”
“That’s not your fault.”
“Who else’s?” He shakes his head before I can say anything further, and I know he and I are going to need to have a conversation later. Especially when he says, “Smitty and I are going to go pick up some extras. We’ll get them installed first thing.”
“You don’t—” I bite back the rest of my words, the natural inclination to tell him I’ll do it. Then I take a breath and say, “Thanks.”
He nods, walks to Smitty and the two of them get in his car, drive away.
“Did you see anything?”
“Before Gray pulled Ollie out of the bushes?”
“Yeah.”
“No,” he says. “You can scroll through if you want, but there’s not a single notification.”
“Right,” I mutter…just as my mom pulls up.
My spine goes stiff, and I move to intercept her.
Faye and Lainey beat me to it, meeting her as she gets out of her car.
“Breathe, man,” Leo says.
The women exchange hugs, and my mom smiles at Kailey, who’s holding Sophie, and Harper, who’s sitting on the porch feeding Reed. Then she hesitates before coming over to me. “Hi, Leo,” she murmurs.
“Hey, Mrs. Hill.” A look at me. A silent glance asking if I’m okay.
I nod.
And only then does he walk a few feet away, stealing Reed from Harper.
“Sawyer,” my mom begins, and her eyes go glassy.
My lungs expand on a breath, every instinct to ask her what’s wrong, to fix what’s wrong, what’s hurting her tearing through me.
Fuck, this is hard.
Then suddenly, I’m not alone.
Or maybe I never was.
Leo’s back behind me and Lainey’s hand is in mine and I can breathe, can think.
But it’s not the mom I’ve known for a decade who’s standing in front of me. It’s…my mom from before. Or maybe it’s the mom she’s going to become.
Because she just says, “I spoke with Ally.”
My stomach clenches.
Maybe not.
“She gave me Lainey’s address—”
Bile burns the back of my throat. “Mom—”
“And a few phone numbers. One for the senior center and another…” A breath. “For a home-care aide.”
“Mom,” I begin.
She pats my cheek, looks around. “You’re busy, honey. I just…I wanted to take a first step.”
Lainey’s hand convulses on mine and then she slips her fingers free.
And it takes me a minute to realize it’s because I’m leaning in. “Thanks,” I murmur, hugging her close.
Her arms wrap around me, the familiar scent of her in my nose.
Then she exhales, and though it’s shaky, she does it pulling away. “Talk to you soon, baby.” She turns for the driveway, starts walking down it, then turns back.
My pulse speeds.
But all she does is pass me a bag. “For you”—a flick of her gaze around us—“and the rest of your family.” Her voice drops. “Because I haven’t been much of one for you.”
Her fingers find mine and she kisses my cheek.
“Talk soon, baby.”
And then she’s gone and I’m left with…
Lainey at my side and Leo at my back and my friends all around me…
And maybe, my mom coming back to me.
“I’m perfectly capable of keeping the doors locked and the alarm armed.”
I nod, ignoring the twisting in my stomach. “I know that.”
She leans closer, tucks herself under my arm as Ollie and Faye run around the back yard. “We’ll be okay.”
“I know that too.”
The cameras are up and the blind spots have been eliminated, and Gray and the others even installed several on his property, just to make sure nothing slips through.
Now the guys have gone home for naps and pregame prep and…
I’m having a hard time making myself walk out the door.
“I’m not trying to control you, Pages. I swear, I’m not. And I won’t tell you what to do.” I tug at a curl, brush my lips over hers. “I’d just feel better knowing that you and Ollie were in a public place with twenty thousand witnesses until we get something concrete from the detective.”
Her face softens. “I know, handsome.”
I take a breath. Then another. “But if you want to stay here, I’ll deal with it.”
“God, I love you,” she murmurs, brushing her lips over mine. “We’ll come to the game.”
“You don’t—”
“Shh, handsome.” Her mouth quirks, and she wraps her arms around my waist. “I’m giving in for a change. Accept your victory.”
I cup her face in my hands, kiss her lightly. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She leans against me. “Do you need to talk about what happened with your mom?”
My heart convulses. “No, Pages. I’m confused and a bit bewildered and I guess…hopeful.”
“Me too,” she murmurs. “Now,” she says, tone turning businesslike. “Sort those tickets so you can get your ass to the rink. I’m going to watch my handsome hockey-player boyfriend kick some Hawks butt tonight.”
“Let’s go, motherfuckers!” Smitty calls, tapping his stick on the boards and leading us out onto the ice for warmups.
I follow behind him, skating into the brightly lit arena.
It’s only a third full, the puck drop still a bit away, but I see Ollie and Lainey (and Faye) just a few heartbeats later.
Grinning, I skate over to them, waving through the glass.
They wave back and then I focus, moving through my warmup. Though, I do pause more frequently than normal—once to toss a puck over to Ollie, once to blow a kiss at Lainey, several more times to reassure myself that they’re still there.
Then it’s time to get off the ice, time to get officially ready for puck drop.
Coach gives the starting lineup. The anthem plays.
And then we’re lining up for the puck drop and…
The game is underway.
I look over at Lainey and Ollie more often than I probably should be, considering my job is supposed to be focused on the ice.
But we’re doing all right—I’m doing all right.
I get a goal at the end of the first, get a front-row seat of her and Ollie cheering for me.
I look over several times during the second and they’re right where they should be, same as when I come out for the third and final period. Which is the point I finally relax.
Just in time for the Grizzlies to pull ahead less than a minute in.
Only when I look over, Ollie is sitting next to Faye, grinning and cheering and…Lainey’s not there.
My stomach twists.
But I go for logic over panic. She’s probably in the bathroom.
“Chill,” I whisper to myself and focus on the game.
But when I look back several minutes later, her seat is still empty. Same as it remains during the next whistle.
Maybe the concessions line is long.
Really long.
Except then I see Faye look behind her, her phone pressed to her ear, and even from all the way across the rink, I can see the panic etched onto her face.
Because Lainey still isn’t back.
As the game starts up, I turn to Gray on the bench beside me. “I need help.”
“What is it?” he asks.
“Lainey’s gone.”