Chapter EightRoman
Staring at the ceiling in my bedroom, I watched the fan blades spin on the axis, wondering how much longer I could hold in my piss. A man could only take so much humiliation. I couldn’t even piss like a guy. I had to sit my ass on the toilet like I had a pussy.
I tipped my head back and blinked. Pain traveled through my entire body, radiating from the stumps formerly known as my hands to my shoulder and all the cuts and abrasions I’d suffered. If I hadn’t checked myself out, I probably would’ve still had a drip to ease me.
They’d done all they could. I would’ve remained in the hospital for fuck all except bills. Which I couldn’t afford at the moment. I had to swallow my pride and call my president with a voice activated device Ainsley set up.
Boom Boom had been an abusive asshole to his old lady, but he loved his kids—especially Nova—and he liked Ainsley. Whatever I might’ve done or didn’t do wouldn’t reflect on her. She was a kid and that counted for something.
Soon, she would return with the cash Boom Boom wanted to give me to tide me over since I’d be out of commission for a few months. I never considered myself a quitter, but I’d never burdened anyone else with my needs. Especially my little sister.
She fed me, combed my hair and kept me shaved, while Kylie came every afternoon to wash me off. I still wore bandages where my hands had once been and the surgical stitches remained in my shoulder where I’d been shot.
Ainsley didn’t deserve my fuckheadedness. I should’ve been happy to be alive, so I could find a suitable husband for her and get her somewhere safe. Living without my hands was more humiliating than if they’d just killed me. For that matter, I didn’t know why they let me fucking live.
After I watched Dayton OD, I called Boom Boom and brought him up to speed. He knew my location and knew when I’d arrive back in town.
Kylie and I made sure we didn’t leave anything behind, then walked the fuck out and went to my bike. I was so fucking glad I’d used an alias. It wouldn’t do any good if I’d left any evidence, even trace amounts of DNA on the bodies. Dayton wanted to party, but he hadn’t wanted to be seen with me. A plus for me.
About an hour from home, Kylie needed to pee, so I pulled up to a convenience store. She took forever. As she was walking out, all hell broke loose. Warrior and his band of Royal Bastards ambushed me.
After the deaths of my parents, shit between the clubs quieted. Boom Boom held off avenging them because of Ainsley. She was in sixth grade and I sure as shit didn’t have time to homeschool her.
Two years ago, Wizard took out Kenneth Bryan, kid brother to a Bastard who went by the stupid name of Louisiana. Supposedly, Kenneth’s death avenged my parents. The Bastards hadn’t responded. I thought they were planning a massive attack against us, but Boom Boom claimed they were running scared.
When I killed Trinity, I refueled the war between the clubs. She was under their protection, and they wanted revenge. Within weeks, two of our guys were killed.
Once Warrior took me, I expected to die and hoped they’d dump my body. Whether it was ever found didn’t matter as long as they didn’t send pieces of me to Ainsley. It would torment her but she could live the rest of her life without knowing my fate if they spared her the gore of my dismemberment. I’d also asked they not hurt Kylie. She hadn’t done anything. My crime. My punishment.
They’d taken me to the Devil’s Pit and thrown me in their cell, and I knew they’d brought me for Reese Sinclair to finish me. Had he asked why I killed that two-timing cunt, I wouldn’t have answered. Deep down, I felt as if the Royal Bastards sent her to gather intel. Or to set me up and do exactly what the fuck they’d done—ambush me.
My nose itched. I rubbed the bandage over it, but nothing compared to using fingers to scratch.
If Ainsley was here, she’d hurry to scratch my nose. She was wasting her life because of my bad decisions. My little sister’s conversation would’ve cheered me up and filled the well of emptiness. She’d throw away her life catering to me, so I preferred if she hated me.
Without warning, my window slid open, and I lifted my head. Knife between his lips, Louisiana slid in, landing as silently as a cat.
“Scorpions are crawling outside. You may have gotten lucky and dodged them, but when they find my body, they’ll suspect it was one of you.”
The asshole smirked at me and took his knife in hand. He walked to the edge of my bed and stared at me like I was a freak show.
“In my mind, I’m lopping your head off, motherfucker,” I growled.
“Only place you can do it, Roman,” he said around laughter.
“Just kill me and get it over with.”
“Can’t.” Louisiana walked to the side of the bed, pocketed his knife, and folded his arms. “Promised Reese I wouldn’t.”
“Remind me to thank him,” I sneered.
“You should. He saved your fucking life, so you wouldn’t be taken from your little sister.”
I hadn’t been sure if I’d dreamed talking to her and hearing her screams. I had my answer.
I lifted my head to glare at him. “Why are you here?” I gritted.
He stared at me, hatred burning in his eyes. Even if I hadn’t killed his family member, one of my brothers had. That made me a lifelong enemy.
“Trinity was a cheating cunt,” he announced.
Fuck. “You sent that video.”
“I took the video. Needed something to do with it. Why not send it to you?”
I laid flat again. “You could’ve shown it to Reese.”
“Negative. Every time Reese thought about taking the next step with that cunt, he got cold feet. Something held him back. Instinct. One day, I had free time on my hands and decided to follow her. You could’ve knocked me over with a cotton swab when I saw her all loved up with you at one of your club functions.”
“You have big balls, spying on us on our turf.”
“I have a big cock to go with those balls,” he retorted. “I wasn’t worried about being seen. Trust me. I could slip in and out of any place I please.” He turned and began walking around my room.
The distinctive sounds of a nosy motherfucker reached me. Shit sliding on my bureau. Keys jingling as they were moved. A picture frame returned to its place.
As an enforcer, I’d honed my senses to keen awareness. I’d learned to pick out sounds and see in damn near total darkness.
The automated voice on the alarm system alerted me to someone opening the front door. Ainsley was home.
“Can you get the fuck out so my sister won’t see you? She’s been through enough.”
The asshole slipped into my closet just as I wrestled my way to a sitting position and my sister walked into my room.
“Hey, Ains—” Bruises marred her face and dried blood stained her lips and chin. “What the fuck happened to you?”
She sat the straps of money on my dresser, then rushed to me and launched herself into my arms, sobbing into my neck. Fuck hands. My arms wrapped around her.
“Tell me what happened, Ainsley. Who the fuck hit you?”
She didn’t answer.
“Sit back and look at me.”
She did, and I flinched at her bruises.
“Talk to me now ,” I snarled. “I’m not fucking playing. You have three fucking seconds to tell me what happened.”
It wasn’t as if I could do anything now , but when I was fitted for my prosthetics, there’d be hell to pay.
“I can’t tell you, Roman.” She swallowed. “Can you call B-B-Boom and…B-B-Boom B-B-Boom,” she amended. “Tell him I need Nova’s help. Please, you have to help her.”
“What’s wrong with Nova?” She hadn’t been around. I figured it had something to do with her fucked-up behavior. “Why didn’t you ask her to come with you?”
“Knock knock.” Boom Boom’s voice traveled down the hallway and Ainsley almost fell off the fucking bed.
“Hide me,” she cried, as panicked as she was when she had her nightmares.
“Roman?”
He was closer. She dove behind me and cowered.
“Came to check on you, boy,” he said, standing in the doorway but not coming any farther. “Thought I saw Ainsley come into the house. Wanted to say hello to her.”
I gave him a half-smile. “Didn’t you say hello to her at the club?”
He burst into laughter. “Just fucking with you. Wondering if you still had a brain since you no longer have hands.”
I ignored him. “Can you send Nova over later? Ainsley needs help. I’m a handful.”
Nodding, he scrubbed a hand over his chin. “Reckon you are. Nova pissed me off. Let Kite work her over. She’s my baby girl and I love her to death, but I don’t like bullshit.”
“Neither do I,” I said with a cool smile. I never thought he’d turn his crazy on his own daughter once we convinced his old lady to leave before he killed her.
I pursed my lips. Well, shit. I’d been so instrumental in her decision that I’d funded her escape. If Boom Boom found out, he’d put a hit out on me. What better way than to goad the Royal Bastards then to have them kill one of the club’s top enforcers?
Boom Boom tried to peep around me. Had my bed been at a different angle, the overgrown motherfucker would’ve seen Ainsley trying to crawl up the back of my shirt.
Fuck, I could only imagine how that worked out for her nose.
“Came to spend a little time with my favorite enforcer.”
I forced a yawn. “As much as I’d like to humor you, Prez, I can’t. I’m exhausted. Another time.”
He met my gaze, glanced around the room once more, and backed into the hallway.
“Not yet, Ainsley,” I whispered, wanting to make sure that motherfucker left before she unfolded herself from behind me.
My closet door cracked, and an eye surveyed the situation. I still didn’t know why that motherfucker decided to darken my door. He’d betrayed Trinity out of loyalty to Reese. I doubted he was that delusional. He shoveled me a load of bullshit that he expected me to accept.
Ainsley began wiggling and Louisiana closed the door again. I needed to install locks on the windows pronto.
Fuck. A handless motherfucker couldn’t install anything. He was at the mercy of stealthy enemies that slipped past his brothers.
Huh. Doubtful. More like those brothers looked the other way when the enemy slipped in.
Ainsley stumbled to her feet and thrust her fingers through her hair. Her face was swollen. I heaved in a breath.
“It’s good to see you sitting up, Ro. Since it’s almost six, I think I’ll order a pizza. I’ll feed you a slice then eat my own.”
Lifting a brow, I folded my arms. Fuck, I shocked myself. I’d been so lost in pain and self-pity, I didn’t even try to see what I could and couldn’t do without hands.
“Gonna tell me what happened, sweetheart?”
I never had to draw shit out of her. Although she flipped on a dime and her mood went from cheery to quiet without warning, she told me whatever I wanted to know.
“Why did Boom Boom slap you around, Ains?”
“It’s nothing compared to what he did to Nova,” she said woefully. “He humiliated her and…and…he gave her to Kite and told him just come in her mouth. That’s her father!” she sobbed.
“What did he do to you ?”
“I told myself to keep quiet, then Nova…I was being a mean bitch to her because I’m so upset that she fucking punched me.”
Ditto.
She told me what set Boom Boom off. “I shouldn’t have said it, Roman. But I was so lost in the moment. All I saw was Nova.” She hung her head, a study in misery as she explained the entire story to me, including Boom Boom’s threats. “He’s your friend and her father,” she said for the countless time. “What kind of a man does that?”
A dead one.
Ignoring my bandages and pain, I lifted my arms to her. She snuggled against me, and I missed the days when she was a little kid. In the meantime, I needed to get motherfucking Louisiana the fuck out of my house.
“Go upstairs and take a bubble bath. I’ll use that voice activated ball to call one of the guys and send them for Chinese food. They need to come in and help me into my pajamas anyway.”
Ainsley spent too much time in my room, in spite of my grumpiness, for me not to respect her and wear jeans and a T-shirt during the day.
She stumbled toward the door.
“After your bubble bath, you need ice for your cheeks.” She needed it now, but Louisiana …
She’d hear us talking and come to investigate.
She paused at the door and turned to me. The sight of the damage Boom Boom inflicted turned my stomach and gave me a new purpose. If I took out the president, I’d be marked for death. I had to get creative again.
“I’m not too hungry,” she said, fidgeting. “I’ll take a bath and then feed you. I won’t be long.”
“It’s fine, sweetheart.” It wasn’t yet, but it would be. “I’ll survive.”
She searched my face.
“What, Ains?”
“Have you ever missed someone and wanted to talk to them, but couldn’t?”
That was an odd fucking question. She could’ve meant Nova, but I knew she didn’t. I tried to think of which one of my brothers would ignore my rule and sneak around with Ainsley, when all those motherfuckers knew I didn’t want her with a biker.
I’m almost certain my father wouldn’t have married Mom if he knew his lifestyle would lead to her death.
Swinging my legs over the bed, I stood up and swayed like a fucking pussy. Alarmed, she rushed to me and gripped my arms until I felt steadier.
“I’ll call one of the guys,” she said.
Disappointed in myself, I sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m fine, Ainsley. Go do what you need to do to feel better.” I certainly couldn’t fucking help her. “Close my door. I need a little privacy.”
Her shoulders slumped, but she nodded and did as told.
When Louisiana walked out of the closet, his blazing anger shocked me.
I’d kicked a motherfucker to death once. Louisiana had a blade and probably a gun, but one good blow to the head would do the trick.
Fists balled, he started pacing.
“What? You don’t get enough attention at your fucking club?”
He halted. “What?”
“You’ve heard more than you needed to. You shared that you wanted Trinity fucked up by my hand because you’re such a sterling friend. What more do you want?”
“You were flat on your fucking back when I climbed through the window. You’ve been reinvigorated.”
I shrugged.
“Are you killing that motherfucker?”
“To whom do you refer and what’s it to you?”
“Boom Boom and nothing. Just curious.”
“I’d never kill my own president,” I lied with a straight face. Unless he crossed one particular line. He had.
“Then you’re a pathetic jackass,” he said flatly.
Anger burned me. He was another score to settle. “I’ve been called worse.”
“I should just kill you.”
“Dump my body out the window when you do.”
“I want you to fear me. I want you to shake and tremble as I imagined my little brother doing. I’d leave your fucking body right here, fuckhead.”
“Ainsley would find me,” I said patiently.
“She needs to grow the fuck up.”
I clenched my jaw. Ainsley made a mistake when she allowed her temper to get the best of her. I knew better. I couldn’t back up threats with actions for the time being so I’d bide my time.
“You and your fucking den of depravity,” he whispered, low. “I should kill you like the fucking mongrel you are. You’re not killing Boom Boom because you’re just like him. You killed Trinity.”
Despite the offense, I offered another shrug. It was the best show of nonchalance I could give. “You aren’t much different,” I said with a small smile. “Who revealed her dirty little secrets?”
“I wanted you to die when you were in the pit. When Reese didn’t pull the trigger, I almost did. I hate you and your entire fucking organization. I’ll see you dead by hook or crook and this time Reese won’t be able to save you.”
He backed to the window and slipped out as stealthily as he entered. It was ten minutes before I realized the picture of Ainsley had been stolen from the frame.