Chapter TenAinsleyReese
8 weeks later
With just several days before October arrived, the crisp air of late September carried the scent of fallen leaves and distant barbecue smoke. The late afternoon sky stretched wide and blue, though wisps of white clouds occasionally streaked through it. As I steered my car away from the Bloody Scorpions clubhouse on the northwestern edge of the city, a golden glow shone over the streets.
Trees turning shades of gold and rust dotted stretches of land, especially where the surroundings were more open. Strip malls, gas stations, and local diners, some with their signs advertising fall specials—pumpkin spice coffee, barbecue platters, or Friday night football deals—zoomed by.
Heading to the Royal Bastards clubhouse, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would they stop me at the gate and question me? Maybe, there wasn’t a gate and it was easy to access. If they were like the Bloody Scorpions, women were always welcome.
Unfortunately, my reputation might’ve proceeded me if they asked for my name and recognized it in connection to Roman. I didn’t know what he’d revealed while he’d been so badly injured. Reese warned me not to contact him again. Perhaps, he’d alerted his brothers to my identity.
God!
Would they kill me?
I just didn’t know and I couldn’t care. If Roman, or God forbid Boom Boom , discovered my secret I was dead anyway. My brother might not actually kill me, but I would be dead to him.
“Ains, it’s okay.” Nova’s soothing voice washed over me as I sped away from the Bloody Scorpions clubhouse.
Time wasn’t my friend. It was closing in on me to find a solution to the situation I’d gotten myself into. Nova had invited me over to her place, located on a back lot on club grounds. We were supposed to spend a girls’ weekend filled with ice cream, pizza, manicures, and Rom-Coms once the football game ended. I was a fanatic. Nova hated organized sports.
As I listened to her talk about Louisiana and her annoyance that he’d ghosted her, I’d thought about Reese. A regular occurrence, especially considering my current state. I’d blurted the truth to Nova, remembering she was the only girl who I truly trusted with my deepest secrets.
Immediately, she’d agreed with me that Reese deserved to know the truth and insisted we go to the Royal Bastards’ clubhouse with all due haste.
“If you go through with your plan, it’s a whole process,” she’d said breezily. “You’ll need to have counseling, then schedule the procedure, then recovery. You have two fucking weeks , Ainsley. Then, Roman will be home. It’s best to have all your facts ASAP. If Reese is willing to do right and stand by you, then fuck Roman.”
I’d snapped my brows together.
“I don’t mean it in a bad way, Ains. But you’re twenty-one. A grown woman. I mean, is getting knocked up by Roman’s op a shitty way to repay his dedication to you? Def, but it is what it is.”
“You aren’t helping my guilt,” I’d grouched.
She shrugged. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. Facts are facts.”
“You helped me with that stupid rhythm method calendar, Nova.”
“Oh. Right. I must’ve gotten it wrong.”
“Obviously, you did.”
“You’re so fucking spoiled, Ainsley.” She’d rolled her eyes and plopped down on the edge of her bed. “Always relying on Roman or me to help you figure out shit. Must be nice having a big brother who’d die to protect you.”
“I can do without your bitchiness, Nova. You said you used the rhythm method because of problems with birth control. Remember? That’s why you suggested I don’t take pills.”
She’d snapped her fingers. “Right. I did say that. I suppose you took my advice about condoms, too?”
“Yeah.”
In short order, she demanded we get going. I tried to talk her out of accompanying me, even though her insistence I needed moral support reminded me why we’d been friends for so long.
Before we left, I made one last attempt at finding another way to contact Reese, hoping we didn’t have to breech that fortress. When I begged her to give me her phone so I could call Reese, she’d declined. Another solution I had was for her to call Louisiana, then hand the phone to me and I’d beg him to call Reese.
She shot down each idea I had. She didn’t think Louisiana would answer because he’d been pulling away from her for weeks now.
“I’d prefer to go to the 8 th circle of hell, then to go to that clubhouse,” she’d said woefully. “Lou Lou will swear it’s because I want him and won’t believe it’s for moral support for my bestest friend in the whole wide world.”
Her use of our childhood term warmed me.
Then, she’d hit me with another argument. According to her, Boom Boom searched her phone now, something I knew based on what he’d asked me that day at the clubhouse. Even if she deleted the number once I called, they’d still appear on a bill if he requested a detailed statement. Although I couldn’t argue her logic, especially after what I’d witnessed, I wondered how she’d explained away all the previous calls between her and Louisiana.
“Daddy wouldn’t have time to look over all those records,” she’d said, waving a dismissive hand.
That tracked with Boom Boom saying he’d only looked at the call logs for the month. We never talked about the scene in the clubhouse. A week after that horror, she came over. Our respective bruises were fading. Still, it surprised me when she smiled and greeted me as if nothing happened.
I’d followed her lead. Between the two of us, Boom Boom had been the most reprehensible to her. I didn’t want to push the issue and traumatize her further. We talked on the phone every day and she visited once a week.
After Boom Boom’s visit to the house, my brother’s hostility toward me had receded. Before he left a month ago, I would sometimes catch him staring at me and I wondered if he’d somehow discovered my date with Reese Sinclair. Roman’s departure pissed me off for a couple reasons. I wouldn’t have given up my apartment if I knew he had a run to go on. The bigger issue was Boom Boom and Wizard, who’d ordered my brother to accompany them to wherever . They’d made special accommodations and had someone drive Roman in a van.
If he didn’t video chat with me daily, I would suspect something was up.
Two days before Roman left, I knew the truth. I was pregnant with Reese’s baby. Roman’s leaving was a blessing in disguise because of the morning sickness that he chalked up to nerves over his departure. Today, he told me he’d return in two weeks and I finally decided I needed to talk to Reese.
When I confirmed my pregnancy with three at-home tests, my kneejerk solution was abortion. Reese didn’t want me. He definitely wouldn’t want our baby.
Despite Boom Boom’s violence, I was calming down again. Mainly because Roman allowed me to help him. My brother seemed to have gotten his sense of self back. I couldn’t be a pansy and fall apart.
“Do you know Scarlett O’Hara was almost named Pansy?” I blurted into the silence of the car.
Nova sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window. The closer we got, the more our tension grew. I felt so bad for dragging her into my mess. Now, she shook her head and laughed.
“Only you would know that. Why the fuck would you know anything about Gone With The Wind ?”
“Mitchell is better than Shakespeare.” I loathed Shakespeare. If War and Peace had been the alternative in high school, I would’ve chosen it. David Copperfield . A book handwritten by Medieval French monks. They couldn’t have done worse with their ‘thees,’ ‘thous,’ and ‘shalts,’ than The Bard. “I campaigned for Lady Chatterley’s Lover . Roman wasn’t amused, neither was the principal, or my English Lit teacher.”
“I still maintain your brother should’ve allowed you to go to public school like the rest of us,” Nova grumbled. “Still, you chose that book.”
Jumping onto I-70 as GPS directed, I huffed. “When I gave my book report, I listed a bunch of grievances, but I stand by my decision. Romeo & Juliet, MacBeth, and Hamlet would’ve been bad enough. Titus Andronicus ? No, ma’am. Stupid, stupid name with stupidly over-the-top violence. I discovered all I wanted to know about that crap since I was the only one who didn’t choose it.”
“Wait! Is this the class where the teacher put you dead last to give your report?”
“Yep. He skipped over me then because he said we ran out of time. Remember? And that stupid report was a major part of my grade.”
Nova snapped her fingers. “Didn’t you fail the semester and Roman asked why?”
“And I confessed.” I giggled. “Like magic, I received an A+. Didn’t even have to stand in front of the class and give the report.”
“So, wait! That teacher lived? Roman didn’t fuck him up for fucking with you?”
Sniffing, I glared at Nova, losing my good mood. “Roman isn’t a savage. For your information, the teacher transferred. According to Roman, it was somewhere out of state.”
“Okay, stupid. Believe that if you will. I guarantee that dude was bug food.”
I flipped her off.
Our surroundings soon shifted from suburban to urban and industrial. Warehouses, train yards, and aging brick buildings hinted at KCK’s working-class roots. Old factories and rail lines gave a glimpse of the city’s industrial past.
The closer I got to downtown, the more traffic I encountered. I swore the scent of barbeque drifted through the car’s vents and my mouth watered even as nausea swirled in me.
Nova shifted. “You know what I haven’t stopped wondering since I found out about the little biker that Reese parked in your garage?”
I wrinkled my nose. “Eww.”
“Oh, grow up. Would you prefer if I said the load he dropped in you that has the potential to fuck up your life?”
“I’d prefer if you called it my baby!”
“Why even think about it like that? It’s the enemy.”
“Are you out of your fucking mind? This is an innocent child.”
“Made by the seed of an enemy, stupid. Which, by the way, is completely fucking insane. What the fuck did you say to Reese Sinclair to make him fuck you raw?”
“The same fucking thing you must’ve said to Louisiana so he’d fuck you at all.”
“Not bare! Louisiana went without a few times, but then he had an abrupt about face about our lack of protection. I’ve tried many times to change his mind about a baby. He’s a fucking fanatic about my period. I think he knows my cycle better than me.”
“Stop thinking of my baby as an enemy.”
“You’ve already claimed it?” She sounded appalled, so I sidled a quick glance in her direction. She stared at me, mouth open. “ You’re the one who’s insane.”
“Shut up. I was with Reese once and ended up pregnant, based on your fucking stupid advice.”
“I didn’t fucking think you’d actually convince him to do it, idiot.”
“What are you talking about? You know I didn’t want Roman to find out and he has connections everywhere to keep watch over me. I trust you . I Googled options and came to you. You told me to do it this way so I wouldn’t have a shitty first experience.”
“Yeah, whatever, Ainsley. I don’t know what you say to get your fucking way all the time. Never mind. Men are stupid. They rush to cater to idiots like you.”
The skyline of Kansas City, MO rose in the distance, but I couldn’t enjoy the stunning view of the city. “Don’t call me another name.”
“You’re carrying an adversary. A foe. We both know Roman will never accept it. The thing in your belly has Royal Bastard blood.”
“Stop referring to my baby as the enemy,” I reiterated. “ Or a thing. Didn’t you just fucking tell me you wanted Louisiana’s baby? That kid would’ve had Royal Bastard blood, too. What the fuck would you have done as the daughter of the Bloody Scorpion’s president?”
“It didn’t happen, so I have nothing to worry about.”
“Only because Louisiana had sense.”
“You’re such a fucking cunt, Ainsley. He wanted me pregnant, then he changed his mind, so obviously he saw something in me.”
“Doubtful, bitch. You were a bitch then and you’re a bitch now. I don’t see what Louisiana fucking saw in you.”
“That’s fucking rich,” she said bitterly. “Little Miss Chatterbox that Louisiana found so hilarious. I’m surprised he didn’t offer to fuck you himself.”
I gritted my teeth. We’d had this argument before, just one of many over Louisiana. I never thought he was attracted to me, though at one time I thought he liked me as Nova’s friend. Until Roman ended up in their hands and Reese allowed him to live. “Louisiana cared about you a lot, Nova. But he had a wife. He’s married. Sooner or later, whatever was between you had to end. I wish you’d walked away.”
“He loves me. He wanted me to have his baby,” she insisted. “I refused, then when I changed my mind he denied me. He either pulled out, wore a condom, or wouldn’t touch me because he said I was fertile.”
“Who knows why he did that.” I searched for an excuse that made her feel better and opened her eyes. Roman came to mind and I hit up on what he might do. Granted, he kept a lot of club politics and business away from me. I was a child of the club, though, and I knew my brother quite well. He was fiercely loyal to his colors. “Maybe, uh, maybe, Louisiana started the affair as a way to humiliate Boom Boom.” I forced a laugh. “What better way to do it then to impregnate his daughter?”
“You’ve never liked Louisiana if you think he could do something so fucking low down and devious. On second thought, he would never have offered cock to you. I mean, look at you and look at me. I’m a blonde bombshell. You’re you. Average. Cute, but not overwhelmingly gorgeous. Nice body, but mine’s better. Yet, you have two hot guys twisted around your fucking finger.” She laughed merrily. “If I didn’t love you so much, I’d fucking hate you and plot your downfall.”
A chill slid down my spine. In my emotional state, Nova’s words sounded like a threat. To me, to my baby, or both, I wasn’t sure. She had punched me, though I excused her because of Boom Boom’s treatment. Now, I wasn’t so sure. She was rabid in her insistence that this innocent child was an enemy. I didn’t know if she lashed out because of frustration or trauma. Maybe jealousy toward me for whatever reason.
Except we grew up together and we’d always looked out for each other.
“Did I tell you I tried to fuck Roman four months ago?”
“You did what ?”
“Apparently, I did nothing because we didn’t. Anyway, he was at the club and I told him I needed the light bulb in my refrigerator changed. While he was seeing to it, I stripped and tried my best to seduce him. He would’ve fucked me if it wasn’t for you , chick.”
“Your reasoning has lost me.” Once we got back to her place, I’d light into her over the fact she’d tried to sleep with my brother. What if I wanted to have sex with Boom Boom?
Bad comparison. Roman was quite handsome. Boom Boom was a cyclops. Or something, since he still had both eyes.
“How is it my fault Roman didn’t have sex with you?” Yuck .
“He said I was your best friend and he watched me grow up. He told me it would be gross abuse and he considered me a child under him.”
“All true, so how the fuck is his honor my fucking fault?”
“You’re so fucking dense, Ainsley. He’s fucked some of those club sluts who are my age. He didn’t do me because of you.”
It was that and because of Trinity, but I didn’t add that. Later, I’d clue her in.
“I don’t accept that blame,” I said firmly. “I don’t control Roman’s penis.” So gross talking about his private parts. “You should applaud the respect he has for you and I.”
She snorted.
“What did you want to ask me, Nova?” Changing the subject was best. I’m not sure what bee was buzzing in her britches this time, but hopefully our weekend together would smooth things over.
“Was Nicolette really your mom? If so, what color do you think your baby will be? You and Roman def aren’t real bi-racials. What happens if the baby is brown skinned like your mom? Stepmom? Not-mom? My guess is she couldn’t have kids and your dad hired a surrogate.”
I breathed in and out, trying to cool my blood. I was so fucking happy I’d left my gun at home. Roman insisted I keep it nearby when I was alone in the house. I think I would’ve shot the fuck out of this stupid bitch.
She knew the shit I’d endured when Mom was alive, because she looked so different than the other ol’ ladies. Mom and Dad once had a huge argument because she’d overheard him say how happy he was at the color of Roman and me. Dad revealed he’d had to get special permission to even bring her to the club, which I found fucking horrendous. He should’ve walked away from those motherfuckers then. Except he said he’d met Mom after he was already a high-ranking full patch Bloody Scorpion.
Roman and I rarely discussed our heritage. It just was a part of who we were. My guess was he didn’t think about it too much, unless I got shit over it, then he went ballistic.
Most of the time, I didn’t consider myself one way or the other. While my parents were alive, that was different. But it was just easier to lean into my ambiguity.
“Of course, you’d have to keep the baby for it to be any color, right?” Nova went on. “I know you’re leaning toward making that little problem go away.”
The anger roaring in my ears almost drowned out the voice of the GPS. I would’ve missed my exit.
“First,” I snarled through clenched teeth, my fingers so tight on the steering wheel they were turning white, “this baby isn’t a problem. It’s a child, no matter what I decide.”
“Fucked up, but okay.”
“Second,” I spat, ignoring her fucked up comment, “I only want a healthy baby. It doesn’t matter how it looks.”
She made a face at me. “You’re so fucking sensitive, Ainsley. I didn’t mean anything by the question. I’m genuinely curious.”
“Curiosity got the cat’s ass beat to death. Remember that before you open your fucking mouth again.”
She huffed. I considered a detour to the river, where I’d shove her ass in and ruin her hair and makeup. Nice dream…
“Your destination is on the right,” the GPS announced, and my fantasy died.
It was quiet for a Saturday afternoon because a good many of our members went to the Kansas Speedway . Razor, Bolt, Warrior, Jester, and a bunch of the guys loved car racing. Football was my thing.
I’d once dreamed of a career in the NFL. As club life sucked me in, those ideas fell apart.
I leaned back in the stool where I sat at the bar, took a sip of my beer, and gazed at the TV. The Chiefs were playing a regular season game against a division rival and were down by three with fifty-seven seconds on the clock before halftime. My boys would rally. They always did. I wasn’t a fair-weather friend, so even if they lost, my support never wavered.
Our quarterback threw a Hail Mary. The ball hung in the air and my breath caught. Our running back and their safety were neck and neck, then that motherfucker shoved our guy and jumped, catching the fucking ball and running it in for a touchdown.
“Goddamn it!” Louisiana shouted.
“Where’s the fucking flag?” I waited for a pass interference call or for the officials to review that play. But nothing. The head coach didn’t even throw a challenge flag. “Motherfucker!”
“Turn that shit off, Jinx,” Louisiana yelled.
She looked at me and lifted a brow. I nodded, still fuming.
“We should’ve gone to the racetrack,” Louisiana complained, swiping his pint of gin from the bar counter and drinking. “I can’t believe that shit.”
“Fuck, me neither. Sometimes, I wonder what those coaches are thinking.”
“Yeah, bro. Paid millions and offer a whole lot of nothing.”
“Come on, you two. It isn’t the end of the fucking world,” Jinx said.
Two weeks ago, she’d dyed her hair pink. I wasn’t sure why the fuck she was suddenly fascinated by these crazy shades.
“I know one thing that’ll ease my disappointment, babe,” Louisiana said.
Leaning against the bar, she grinned. “Really, Big Man? I’d love to hear it and then I’ll see what I can do.”
He grabbed her throat and yanked her halfway across the bar for a sloppy kiss. When he released her, she scooted back and slid off the bar.
I shook my head. “One day, you’re going to jerk her head off her fucking shoulders, asshole.”
“I won’t!” Louisiana protested. “Tell him, babe.”
“I trust my man, Reese. Stop being such a worrywart.”
“That’s worryfart, babe.”
Chuckling with them, I flipped off Louisiana and drank more of my beer.
“Soooo, Reese,” Jinx started, leaning against the bar again. “A little bird told me you might ask Candy out again.”
“Yep.”
She clucked her tongue. “Don’t be like that. Did I choose good this time?”
“At least she didn’t bite my cock when she sucked it.”
“You two assholes are just alike. Always more concerned about your dicks than substance. Did you like her? Was she pretty to you?”
“Come on, babe. Lay off Reese. He obviously doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“He had the date last Thursday, then went on a run the very next day. This is the first time I’ve seen him.” She batted her lashes at me. “At least humor me.”
I could humor her without going into detail. The truth of the matter was I took Candy out, forced myself to pay attention to her, and forced myself to fuck her. Partly because I’d been sick to death of Louisiana constantly bringing up Ainsley. Whatever Nova told him about her, he passed on to me. He ignored my order to shut the fuck up about her and keep that shit to himself.
Even if I’d considered dropping by her apartment to see her, his constant barrage of information turned me off. Two weeks ago, he finally obliged me, though I suspected he hadn’t brought her up because he wanted to protect himself rather than my sanity.
Yet, my date with Candy left me annoyed and unfulfilled. Worse, I’d felt like shit ever since, confirming I’d lost my fucking mind in the months I’d grieved for Trinity.
Why else would I feel as if I betrayed…fuck, I couldn’t even bring myself to say it, I was so fucking humiliated. My feelings weren’t even directed at Trinity, a woman who’d been killed because of her connection to my club, who’d died brokenhearted because I’d been such a motherfucker.
Thankfully, the run cleared my head. We were diversifying our interests and had made a deal with a smaller club located in a neighboring county to serve as one of our distributors. A few months back, Marquis made the case for allowing him to create a meth lab since he knew how to make that shit.
We hadn’t put it to the members yet. Razor wanted exact numbers, not estimates. It seemed as if he was putting plans in place to go in that direction. I understood Razor was trying to create barriers between our club and the lower-level stuff. On the other hand, I doubted he’d trust such a small club with our level of distribution. My thought was, Razor intended to test Marquis’s drug making abilities and have the smaller club distribute the merchandise for us. A test for them, a loss leader for us. If the plan failed, we wouldn’t lose an exorbitant amount of money.
“What do you say, Reese?”
“Huh?”
Louisiana snickered. “Told you, babe. Motherfucker’s mind was a billion miles away.”
“It was.” I drained my bottle, then set it on the counter and grabbed the fresh one Jinx had waiting for me. “What’s up, J?”
“A double date. Keir and me, and you and Candy.”
I smirked at Louisiana. “Keir, huh? What did you do, brother?” If he pissed her off, she used his given name. “Forgot to take out the garbage?”
Draining his gin, Louisiana lowered his lashes. Jinx glanced away. An uncomfortable silence descended into the sudden tension.
“What’s going on, you two?”
“Nothing, Reese.” He slammed the empty pint on the bar top. “Some slut’s been blowing up my phone. I told her to lose my fucking number. I danced with the bitch once at a party.”
Jinx’s nose reddened and she swallowed. Holy fuck! This was serious shit for Jinx to look so vulnerable.
“Her name is Nova,” she said tightly. “And why did she send you a naked photo if you only danced with her once ?”
My knowledge of Louisiana’s affair with Nova made me just as culpable because I helped to deceive Jinx, while laughing and joking with her every time I saw her.
“Jinx, babe, I don’t know why this girl sent that photo. I didn’t even give her my number. She must’ve had one of those magnetic readers and stole my information.”
I squinted.
“They have those?” Jinx asked suspiciously. “I thought it was only for bank cards.”
Louisiana shook his head. “Some people store credit card information on their phones and a bunch of other personal shit that magnets suck into the readers. Suddenly, all your information is in fucked up hands. Including phone numbers and email addresses.” He looked at me. “Tell her, Reese.”
Predictably, Jinx turned her hopeful eyes toward me. I wanted to bash Louisiana’s fucking head in for putting me on the spot. Unable to meet her eyes, I focused on my beer and gave her a curt nod.
“I just love you so much, Keir,” she said quietly. “After I cut your cock off, I would be devastated if you ever cheated on me. You’re one of the good guys, babe.”
“That’s why you love me, babe.” He reached across the bar and grabbed her arm. “When you got me, you got the best of the best. I’m not a typical motherfucker with an ol’ lady and a bunch of bitches on the side. That Nova cunt? Fuck her.”
“Reese? Louisiana?”
At the sound of one of the prospects calling my name, I swiveled in my chair. “Yo?” I said as Louisiana turned, too.
“Two chicks are asking for you. A girl named Ainsley for you.” He nodded to me. “And a Nova for Louisiana.”