Chapter SeventeenAinsleyReese
I couldn’t remember the last time I slept in. I was always busy with some activity. Until Trinity’s death, I had been pursuing my degree, working at the nursery, settling into my apartment, hanging out with Nova, and being at Roman’s beck and call.
Perhaps, that was a little unfair because Nova was right. My brother devoted his life to me. It was why I intended to marry Dayton and what led me to my one night with Reese. When I moved away from home, I claimed to want my independence. What I really wanted was for Roman to remember who he was without me. I was still around him a lot. He either had dinner at my apartment or I went to the house after work.
He was kind of a neat freak, so tidying up and washing his clothes wasn’t a big deal. I joked he had a uniform—jeans, T-shirt, motorcycle boots, and his cut. Unless something big was happening and then he wore his leathers. I knew better than to touch his colors. I wasn’t a member, so I didn’t have the right to even hold anything with the Bloody Scorpion insignia.
I had many reasons not to sleep in and a lot of them had to do with my brother. The brother who now expected me to abort my baby, just so he could cast me out of his life. Had he even heard himself? Either or would’ve been bad enough. But both?
Curling into a tight ball, I covered my mouth to hold in my sob. Reese had fallen asleep five minutes after we climbed into bed and an hour after Roman hung up. I’d expected him to call back, but he hadn’t, which made me cry harder.
Reese held me and comforted me until my tears subsided, then he’d grabbed my hand and led me to the bedroom. While he undressed, I’d sat on the edge of the bed, wishing I’d never confided in my former friend.
Trusting her was my fault. I’d given her the benefit of the doubt because of Boom Boom’s abuse. My mistake. One I couldn’t undo because my life had blown up around me.
Nausea twisted in me. Groaning, I rushed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I hadn’t eaten and I wasn’t hungry. Puking bile in between dry heaves left me weak and dizzy. Scooting back, I leaned my head against the bathroom wall and closed my eyes.
“Ainsley?”
Reese’s voice washed over me. I just wanted to curl into him, but I wouldn’t. I couldn’t trust him either. He was the enemy and he did want Roman dead. I’d known that from the beginning. As I knew the opposite was true.
I opened my eyes, careful not to move my head. I didn’t want the nausea to start again. His hard, muscled thighs and long legs were impressive, and I loved his ink. His stiff cock reached his navel, and I rebuked the desire pooling between my legs. Even if vomit wouldn’t have ruined sex, I couldn’t be with him under the circumstances.
He crouched in front of me and brushed some hair behind my ear. His tender look made my breath catch.
I went over all that had happened since I’d met Reese, especially the night Louisiana brought Roman to me. I thought about the men with him. They’d worn skull masks, but… fuck . Suddenly, I knew. I knew why Roman had survived and I understood why Louisiana delivered him to my doorstep. Reese had been the one to take my brother’s hands. I should’ve been furious or hated him for hurting Roman as he had, but he’d allowed him to live.
“Did you really allow my brother to live because of me?” I whispered, the question bubbling up out of my need for the truth.
A half-smile curved his mouth. He tipped my chin up and nodded.
“You would’ve killed him if I hadn’t slept with you?” I asked in a shaky voice.
“If I hadn’t met you,” he corrected, thumbing my lips. “I wouldn’t have known he had a little sister. If I hadn’t remembered your gorgeous whiskey-colored eyes filled with liveliness. If he hadn’t asked me not to send pieces of him to you.”
I let out a horrified squeak and dry-heaved. I didn’t even have bile left. “You would’ve dismembered my brother?” I sobbed, hysteria rising in me.
He didn’t answer until he’d gotten a cold washcloth and mimicked Jinx’s actions from last night. Scooping me up, he carried me back to the bedroom. Once we were in bed, he pulled me into his arms and tangled his fingers through my hair.
“It isn’t any different than what Roman would do to me or any of my brothers, Ainsley.”
“Neither of you can kill the other,” I decided around tears. “That’s not how this works anymore. I’m the bridge between you and him.”
“It’s exactly how it works,” Reese barked. “We aren’t brothers. We’re enemies. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just because I fucked you doesn’t change the essence of me or Roman.”
Anger doused the pain of his words. I drew myself up, ready to blast him.
“Shut the fuck up,” he snarled before I spoke. “You have a head on your fucking shoulders. I admire you, but I can’t believe you’re so fucking na?ve. Those motherfuckers, your brother’s club, killed Louisiana’s brother. A blood relation. Your brother killed one of my favorite club girls. Trinity. I was weeks away from putting her on the back of my bike.”
I snatched myself away from him. “Roman killed her because she led him to believe she wanted him and said she carried his baby, then he found out she was fucking you,” I snapped. “She was playing with fire and got burned.”
He blinked, then swept me with a cold glare. “Why doesn’t it fucking surprise me that you knew Roman killed her?”
“Because I was there,” I said tiredly. “I begged Trinity to leave before Roman got home. We almost got into a fight. She accused me of betraying her. I don’t know where Roman got the information, but it wasn’t me. He really cared about her. She refused to fucking leave and told me I was the reason Roman didn’t have a life.” I lifted my gaze and shook my head. “And basically reaffirmed what Nova told me yesterday. I was pathetically ordinary, which I’m not, and I hung around my brother because I couldn’t find a man of my own.”
Reese’s pulse thumped at the base of his neck and his shoulders heaved with each pant. My heart went out to him at the mix of anger and grief on his face.
“I begged her to go, Reese. Roman doesn’t take kindly to being played. He thought she set him up. It was more of her affiliation to the Royal Bastards that cost her her life rather than her being a two-timing cheat.” I drew in a deep breath and met his gaze. “Tell me you wouldn’t have killed her yourself if you’d known the truth.”
He glanced away.
“I think Louisiana saw her or her car when he picked up Nova. You’re both idiots in that regard. I don’t know why he’d tell Roman and not you, but that’s the only explanation I have.”
Jaw clenched, he stared at the wall. I don’t think he could bear to look at me. I’d already told myself we couldn’t be together, so I don’t know why his attitude hurt me.
“Her death has haunted me,” I said in a raw, wet voice. “I had to take a break from school. That was the one time Roman’s temper got the best of him and he didn’t shield me from the dark side.”
He refused to respond. I couldn’t force him to confess he would’ve handled the situation just as Roman had. Nor could I make his pain go away. In his mind, I’d betrayed him once again. Whether he admitted it, he punished my smallest infraction because Roman was my brother.
“When I saw your cut, I should’ve walked out.”
“You should have,” he spat. “Or you could’ve told me the fucking truth and let me make an informed decision.”
“Why? So you could’ve killed me? One-upped Roman in your stupid war?”
“Did I fucking kill you when I found out Roman was your brother? Did I kill that motherfucker when I had him in my clutches? I risked a lot to save him. Our hatred isn’t strictly a personal vendetta. It’s bigger than him or me. It goes way back and both clubs have brought a reign of death and terror to the other. Even if I could intervene, I wouldn’t. My allegiance is to my club. It isn’t to a motherfucker who couldn’t sit his ass down somewhere and enjoy his fucking second chance at life. Instead of patching out, what did Roman Mac do? Go on a fucking run the first motherfucking chance he got.”
From what I knew of Reese, he was laid-back and chill. I’d never seen him so red-faced, angry, and almost foaming at the mouth.
“Roman didn’t have a choice,” I said.
“We all have fucking choices, Ainsley. He made his. I’ve made mine.”
He was right. Not knowing what else to say, I went to the living area and curled up on the sofa, since I had nowhere else to go or no one who cared.
Motherfucking Louisiana. Trinity might’ve been a two-timing cunt like Ainsley said, but he saw her as collateral damage and signed her death warrant.
Would I have killed her if I discovered she was fucking Roman Mac? You bet your fucking ass. I too would’ve felt she was setting me up on behalf of the Bloody Scorpions.
It was just so fucking much to deal with, especially after I’d mourned her for months. I’d lived with grief and guilt. All for nothing.
Since the day I lost my family, I guarded my emotions and let only a select few in. Until Trinity, I hadn’t connected with any woman since Jinx. My instincts saved me from a monumental mistake.
As much as I still cared about Jinx, neither she nor that dead bitch compared to Ainsley. I needed a moment to process what she told me. One weight lifted off my shoulder and another descended.
Trinity got what she deserved. Roman Mac saved me the fucking trouble of having to explain why I’d killed one of our girls. I wouldn’t have faced censure. Just a lot of fucking humiliation that my favorite bitch was a traitor.
My issue now was Louisiana. He’d intervened on my behalf and set me up with Ainsley. I didn’t know how to help his unhinged need for revenge. He wanted to avenge Kenneth so badly, he was willing to fuck up his marriage to do so. I bet he saw Ainsley as a chess piece in his fucked-up game.
I’d see that motherfucker drawn and quartered first.
This was such a clusterfuck.
Remembering Ainsley’s desperation, I squeezed my temples. I thought she at least understood club dynamics. She was asking me for the moon, when I couldn’t even promise her the stars if it meant guaranteeing her brother survived.
Fuck, I might not live before I straightened shit out at the club, so Ainsley would at least have their protection if I bit it. Razor would just as soon see her dead because of the Roman situation. I hoped her pregnancy would end his need for vengeance. I had to declare her mine to safeguard her. Suspicion would follow both of us, but I was innocent. Ainsley’s only crime was loving her brother.
If Razor wanted to kick my ass for fucking up so royally and knocking up my enemy’s little sister, then I’d take the beating. Ainsley needed my help. She was pregnant by me. That made me responsible for her and the baby. Even if we didn’t work out, I’d always look after her. If she was happy, healthy, and stress-free, then our child would be, too.
Her immediate need was an obstetrician and a place to stay. If the cabin was closer to the city, I’d tell Jinx that she had a roommate for the time being. Louisiana might serve as another complication, though. No matter what else he said, I was convinced he wouldn’t want me with Ainsley.
Growling in frustration, I yanked on my jeans and left the bedroom. At the edge of the short hallway that led to the living area and compact kitchen, I heard Ainsley’s voice.
“Roman, please call me. Please. I’m so sorry.” She sniffled. “I wish I could say I didn’t want a relationship with Reese, but I can’t. He doesn’t want me. Neither you nor him can make me abort my baby. Please don’t turn your back on me. Nova said this was a shitty way to repay you.” She laughed nervously. “Allowing your op to make a baby inside of me. She said a bunch of things. I-I shouldn’t have…I didn’t have anyone else to talk to and Nova said the rhythm method worked if it came to that. Now, she told me she’d counted wrong. Please call me. Even if you hate me, don’t think of my baby as the enemy. Like Nova does.”
That cunt needed to die, too.
“I love you, Roman. Thank you so much for being the best big brother any girl could ask for. Bye.”
Goddamn if her heartfelt words didn’t touch me. If Roman didn’t soften, then he was as cold as rumor always suggested.
Shoving my hands in my pockets, I showed myself.
“I’m going to look for a full-time job, so I can have health insurance for me and the baby.”
I pulled out a chair at the table and sat, then lit a cigarette, waiting for her to continue. She didn’t. “I would’ve shot the fuck out of Trinity,” I conceded around a plume of smoke and watery eyes. “Roman saved me a bullet.”
“Okay,” she said hoarsely.
I got to my feet and flicked ashes in the sink, since I didn’t see an ashtray. Then, I remembered. Jinx liked glass ashtrays. She’d probably broken every one of them in her anger, then rushed to clean up after my call. Until she talked to Ainsley, she would’ve considered her an outsider.
I returned to my seat.
“I never saw myself as a father, Ainsley. I just didn’t want to expose my emotions to such vulnerability.”
“I understand.”
“No, babe. You don’t.”
I wanted her to. I wanted her to understand my fear of losing another family as I’d lost my parents, sister, and brother. By the time I finished, she stood between my parted thighs after running to comfort me. Dropping my arms, I took her face between my hands.
“Is there anything else I should know about your brother?”
“Just that I love him and don’t want him to die.”
“A life for a life, Ainsley. That’s our world. I already saved him once. It can’t happen again. Under any circumstances.”
“Reese, please—”
“It’s club business.” What didn’t she understand about that? “You have no say in it. I’m not the president. I can’t do anything more than I already have.”
“Can you try—”
“No,” I said with finality. “Our club’s are enemies. Enemies . Mortal fucking enemies. You’re the one who has to change your wrong thinking. It’s been this way long before I joined the club and it’ll be this way long after I’m dead and gone.”
She flinched at those words. My heart did a funny little flip at the thought that my life mattered to her just a little.
I gentled my tone. “I know it’s a bitter pill to swallow. One of us killing the other. You’re having my baby, so I’m asking you to give me a chance. Give us a chance. I care about you and I missed you. Let’s disconnect from the world for the rest of the day, so it’s just me and you.” I pressed my hand against her stomach. “And the baby.”
“Were you ever going to contact me?”
“Maybe if I had a chance to miss you, but Louisiana kept me informed of your every move. As long as he did that, I convinced myself I didn’t need to contact you…”
I narrowed my eyes.
Sonofabitch . He’d known exactly what the fuck he was doing.
“What?”
“Louisiana’s a motherfucker.”
She smiled. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
I’d deal with his fucking ass later. Right now, I drew Ainsley into my arms. I had to tell Razor, Bolt, and Ma Siller about Ainsley’s pregnancy. Hopefully, we all survived the fallout. For Ainsley’s sake, that included her brother.