Chapter 12 #3
His body softened beneath my words, the rigid tension easing from his shoulders.
A shaky breath slipped from him, and his eyes closed briefly.
His other hand came around mine, joining the one that was already holding on.
He clung to me with a need he couldn’t hide, pressing my hand against himself, his fingers curling tightly around mine as he drew comfort from my touch.
I wanted to ask him what had just happened, what had driven that fear into his face, what words had caught behind his lips and left him unable to speak. But the questions died inside me when I saw the change in his expression.
The fear was still there, buried beneath the strain in his features, but it had been overtaken by a fierce decision. His eyes hardened with purpose. Whatever had been tearing through him moments ago, he had chosen what he was going to do about it.
He gently tugged me closer, guiding me to sit beside him on the couch before lowering himself into a crouch in front of me.
His hands rested on my sides, his eyes fixed on mine with an intensity that left no room for doubt.
“Alessia,” he said, his voice low, thick with emotion.
“You are the most important person in my life. I can’t imagine a future without you in it.
You are my number one. You are my person. And I am yours.”
He leaned closer, his expression tightening at the uncertainty in my face.
“You don’t remember it right now, but I am.
That’s the only reason we got married. There was no other reason.
We got married because we chose each other, because we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.
I want to call you my wife forever. I want to be called your husband. That is the truth.”
He looked completely wrecked. “This amnesia is temporary. We just have to fight through it together. You’re angry, and you have every right to be.
So take it out on me. Punish me. Hate me if you need to.
But don’t leave.” His voice grew softer, the plea unmistakable.
“Please, Alessia. Give me a chance to make this right.”
A part of me hesitated to kick a man when he was down, but the larger, rational part refused to be swayed.
“Cassian, your actions don’t match your words,” I said, holding his stare. “You say I’m your number one, but when your life got difficult, I was the first thing you let go.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. “No, listen. From where I’m sitting, this sounds less like it’s about me and more about your fear of being alone. You’re asking me to stay because you think I’m your person—”
“You are my person.” He said it with unwavering conviction, leaving no room for doubt.
“But people don’t treat their person like this.
They don’t forget about them and just hope they’ll still be there once they’re done being ignored.
I wouldn’t do that to my person.” I let the silence hang for a beat, letting the truth of it settle between us.
“So, to me, it sounds more like maybe we got along. Maybe we were compatible, and that’s why you’re clinging to this so hard.
You’re afraid you won’t find someone else who fits into your life the way I did.
That’s why you don’t want to let go of this relationship. But that isn’t fair to me.”
I pushed myself to my feet, looking down at him.
“I don’t want to stay in a marriage where I’m not respected.
I don’t want to stay with a man who can forget me so easily.
I don’t want to make excuses for a man. And I refuse to be the woman who settles.
Even now, you wanting to stay married is about you, not me.
You don’t want a divorce because you don’t want to lose your wife, your marriage, your life.
But that’s not the same as choosing me. That’s not the same as wanting me. ”
He shook his head, his face falling. “That’s not true—”
“Cassian,” I said gently. “You need to rest. Take some time and clear your head.” I sidestepped him, pausing only to deliver the last instruction. “And then sign the papers.”
I moved to my suitcase and sword, grabbed them, and turned to leave when Cassian appeared in front of me, blocking my path.
“I’m not doing this right. I’m messing this all up,” he muttered, frustration etched across his face.
He dragged a hand through his hair and swore under his breath.
“Fucking words.” His hands dropped to his sides, fingers curling helplessly.
“My mind has never been clearer. I want you, Alessia. This is about you—”
I tried to sidestep him, but his hand shot out and clamped down on the suitcase handle.
“No,” he said, his grip tightening around the handle. “You’re not leaving.”
I snapped. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t walk out that door right now.”
The words tore out of him, carrying the full weight of the fear he had been fighting to contain. “Because the last time I let you leave like this, I almost lost you forever!”
I recoiled, stumbling back a step.
His eyes widened, horror sweeping across his face. His lips parted, the color draining from his face as he stared at me, stricken by what he had just said.
The last time I left like this?
My voice trembled with dawning understanding. “What did you just say?”