Bonus Chapter 2 #2
She was warmth beneath my hands. She was movement.
She was that cutting little smile that tugged at her mouth whenever she knew she’d won an argument, that maddening glint in her eyes whenever she knew she had me cornered.
She was the sharp edge in her voice when I annoyed her, the fire in her eyes whenever she challenged me, fierce and unyielding, refusing to let me have the last word.
Alessia was noise.
She was laughter spilling through a room. She was the exasperated sigh she gave whenever I tested her patience, the little smirk that betrayed her amusement even when she tried to hide it. She was sarcasm, stubbornness, mischief, passion.
She was life.
So much fucking life.
She was never supposed to be this.
Never supposed to be limp in my arms, her head resting against my chest while I begged her to wake up.
Never supposed to have blood covering her face.
Never supposed to be lying motionless in the aftermath of something I had failed to prevent.
Footsteps pounded across the asphalt, fast and uneven. A man stumbled into my peripheral vision, his face drained of color, his chest heaving as he stared at the wreckage.
“Oh my God.” He looked from her bloodied face to the mangled car, horror spreading across his features. “I—I’m so sorry. There was debris in the road. I swerved to avoid it and my tire blew. I lost control for a second and the car pulled across the lane. I tried to correct it, I swear, I—”
“Call 911.”
My voice came out low and vicious, every word forced through clenched teeth.
The man stared at me, visibly shaken, his gaze dropping again to the blood coating my hands and soaking through my shirt.
“I—I can explain. I didn’t mean to—”
“Call 911!” I roared, the command ripping out of me with enough force to tear my throat apart. I tightened my arms around Alessia, pulling her closer against my chest. “Now! Get an ambulance here now!”
The man flinched at the force of my voice. His hands shook as he dragged his phone from his pocket, fumbling with it so badly that it nearly slipped through his fingers. “Yes. Yes, I’m calling.”
“Tell them to fucking hurry!” I snapped, the words breaking apart beneath the terror crushing my chest. “She’s unconscious and there’s blood all over her. I need an ambulance here now—now!”
“I will. I will.” He swallowed hard, turning away as the call connected. “911? There’s been an accident—”
I stopped listening.
My entire world had narrowed to the woman in my arms.
Her eyes were still closed, her lashes resting against cheeks streaked with blood, and the sight nearly shattered the last bit of composure I had left.
“You hear that?” I whispered, brushing my trembling thumb across her cheek. “Help is coming. They’re coming for you.”
I forced a smile onto my face, even though it hurt to hold it there. I needed her to wake up and see something gentle when she opened her eyes. I couldn’t let her see the terror written all over me.
“Nothing’s going to happen to you. Do you hear me?
” I whispered, my thumb trembling against her cheek.
“You’re going to be okay. You’re going to open those eyes, look at me, and call me an idiot for panicking this much.
You’ll yell at me, tell me I’m being dramatic, and I’ll listen to every damn word.
We’ll go home, and everything will be fine. ”
My smile faltered.
“You’re listening, right?” I pleaded, searching her face desperately for the smallest sign that she could hear me. “You can hear me, can’t you?” My breathing hitched, my eyes burning as I stared at her closed eyes. “Everything is going to be fine, Alessia. You’re going to be okay.”
A tear slipped free and landed on her cheek.
I blinked hard, fighting the tears burning behind my eyes, but they kept coming. Another slid down my cheek, then another, each one falling onto her face until my vision blurred and I could no longer tell where her blood ended and my tears began.
“I’m sorry.” My voice collapsed into a whisper. “I’m so fucking sorry, Alessia.”
I bent my head until my forehead rested against hers. The metallic scent of her blood filled my lungs, clinging to every breath, coating the back of my throat and searing itself into a place in my memory I knew would never fade.
I’d remember this smell for the rest of my life.
The smell of my failure.
A sob tore through my chest, so violent it left me gasping for air. I pulled her tighter against me, terrified that even the smallest space between us might be enough for her to slip away.
“I should’ve stopped you.” Each word scraped painfully out of my throat, forcing its way past the ache lodged there. “I should’ve gone after you the second you walked away. I should’ve chased you down before you ever reached that car. I should’ve made you stay. I should’ve—”
Another sob ripped through me, cutting the sentence apart.
I pressed my lips against her forehead, lingering there as my eyes squeezed shut.
“Please don’t make me live in a world without you.” The plea came out broken, barely more than breath. “Please, Alessia. I can’t—”
I swallowed hard and pressed another kiss to her bloodstained temple.
“I don’t know how to live in one,” I whispered, the confession trembling against her skin. “I don’t know who I am without you.”
My arms tightened around her again, and another sob escaped me.
“So please come back to me.” I rested my forehead against hers, my entire body shaking. “You can hate me. You can leave me. You can make me spend the rest of my life trying to earn your forgiveness.”
I dragged in a broken breath.
“Just give me a life where you’re still in it.”
The next five days blurred into one long, shapeless stretch of time.
There were no mornings or nights anymore. No sense of when one day ended and another began. There was only the hospital room, the chair beside her bed, and Alessia lying beneath those white sheets with her eyes closed.
I barely left her side.
For hours, I sat beside her bed with her hand cradled between both of mine, my fingers wrapped tightly around hers, terrified of letting go.
The machines surrounding us kept making their clinical noises, reminding me that she was still here, that her heart was still beating, that there was still something inside her fighting to stay with me.
Her hand kept turning cold beneath my palms. Each time the warmth faded from her skin and that terrible chill seeped into my fingers, I rubbed her hands between mine, warming them again and again, refusing to let the cold take hold.
“I know what you’re thinking,” I murmured, my thumb moving slowly over her knuckles. “You’re probably thinking I’m overreacting. But what else am I supposed to do? You’re always cold.”
I lifted her fingers to my lips and pressed a trembling kiss against them, lingering there before I lowered her hand back into mine.
“I have to keep you warm.” My voice softened. “That’s my job.”
Felicity came every day.
She cried every day, too.
She tried to hide it. She would turn toward the window, wipe hurriedly at her cheeks, take a breath, and come back with a smile that lasted only a few seconds before breaking apart again.
Naija came whenever she could. While Alessia lay here, she had taken over everything at the agency, making sure meetings went ahead, deadlines were met, and nothing collapsed in her absence.
“She’ll want everything running when she wakes up,” she said, her eyes shining with tears she stubbornly refused to shed. “She’ll be furious if she comes back and finds a mess.”
Liam kept arriving with flowers, setting them gently beside her bed before dragging a chair closer to mine.
He tried to talk to me.
I barely answered.
Whatever little strength I had left for words belonged to Alessia. The only person I spoke to besides her was Felicity, and even then, it was only to remind her to eat.
She did the same for me.