Chapter 38
I want to fly into space and forget about Daniel and Ellis, fateds, and men in general.
But I absolutely can’t miss the opening of Daniel’s biggest project.
The mayor, city council members, and press will be attending to cover the event.
Also, my family and Marcella’s will be attending as well.
It’s sweet, this show of support for Daniel.
I wear a grass-green linen maxi skirt with a white tube top, a chunky black beaded necklace, and delicate black leather sandals. My hair is pulled back into a messy braid and I opt for a rare bold lip in coral red.
“You look ready for a vacation,” Daniel says when he sees me. “Let’s book one to Greece this fall.”
It’s already August and nothing sounds better than the idea of a for-real vacation that requires a passport.
“Drown me in olive oil, please,” I say. But a small voice in the back of my head is asking, Will we be together long enough for a vacation?
We haven’t had time to talk since the big “uncle for now” bomb, and I’ve decided to wait until after the event for the breakdown since it’s sure to be a doozy. I just need to get through today.
We arrive at the park at four, a little earlier than the other guests so that Daniel can make sure everything is set up correctly.
I walk around and take in the completed park.
It’s beautiful. Tall native grasses, majestic sycamores, and flowering sage are all planted alongside a paved gravel path that winds through the gentle slopes along the river.
There are benches and water features seamlessly integrated throughout, creating an inviting space that dares you not to be relaxed.
And the river is bordered by boulders and plants, restoring it back to its former glory when it ran naturally through Los Angeles, before it was rerouted in cement.
“Do you like it?” Daniel asks when he finds me wandering one of the small paths along the river’s edge.
“It’s so beautiful,” I say with a happy sigh. “You should be over-the-top proud.”
He hugs me from behind, burying his face into my neck. “Thank you. I’m so glad I can share it with you.” I close my eyes and take it in. This feels steadying. This feels nice.
People eventually start trickling in and music is piped in through speakers scattered throughout the park. I made the playlist because if it had been left up to Daniel, it would have been a “Today’s Hottest Hits” list off Spotify.
I chat with various firm employees, being drunk BFFs with some of them now, and try my damnedest not to be on alert for Ellis.
Marcella and her family arrive and I show them around the park.
The kids eventually run down to the riverbed and take off their shoes to go wading, which they probably aren’t allowed to do but I take liberties as the girlfriend of the designer.
“They did such an amazing job,” Marcella says to me as we grab some bites from the buffet table.
“Right? I’m so proud,” I say, taking in the gorgeous views again. I spot Sunny, Emoni, and Halmoni in the distance and wave them over.
“Beautiful park!” Sunny says brightly as they approach. “This used to be such a shithole.”
“Sunny!” I say with a laugh and Mar almost chokes on her falafel ball.
“Daniel is very talented,” Halmoni says matter-of-factly, pleased like he’s already her grandson.
“And Ellis and the others,” Mar says pointedly.
Of course, that’s when I spot Ellis. He’s wearing a vintage Western shirt, with the short sleeves cuffed, his hair a little wet from the shower.
In sharp contrast to my reaction to Daniel, I feel everything in me tilt toward him and completely destabilize. What I can’t figure out is whether that’s a good or bad thing.
Two older people join him and I openly stare—they must be his parents: an Asian woman with salt-and-pepper hair pulled into a youthful ponytail, wearing cool wide-leg jeans and a block-print top.
Next to her is a white man towering over her, his hair thick and dark and his posture relaxed in light blue chinos and sandals.
They are looking at Ellis with what could only be described as adoring pride.
I am staring at them for so long that I eventually make eye contact with Ellis and jolt. When we lock eyes, I feel it in my entire body. I can’t even be embarrassed at being caught staring so I just smile and wave. He gives me a cautious smile back.
“Do you think those are his parents?” I whisper to Marcella, trying to look subtle.
“Yes, and they are so young and stylish,” she says. “As if you needed another reminder that he’s twenty-eight.”
“I do need that reminder,” I say before I grab a glass of champagne. Mar looks at me sharply.
Before she can interrogate me, the music stops and Daniel taps the mic.
“Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for joining us here for the opening of the Frogtown River Park.” People start applauding.
He smiles that devastating smile. “I’m Daniel Nam-Watson, the head of Watson and Associates—” Here, everyone at the firm starts cheering wildly and he gives the crowd a second as he grins.
“The best landscape architecture firm in all the land, obviously. Please take a look at the people around you and give them a round of applause for creating this brilliant, beautiful place.”
We do, heartily, as the crowd is made up of mostly friends and family of the firm, alongside the official folk. Marcella shouts, “Hottest architects ever!” to nervous laughter. Who needs embarrassing Korean aunts when you have this kind of best friend?
Daniel talks about the design choices of the park and then a few city officials declare how important this park will be to the city and future plans for the community.
Again, I feel a surge of pride for Daniel and the entire firm.
I try my best not to look around at the crowd, not wanting to risk eye contact with Ellis again.
Then Daniel gets back on the mic and says, “We’re so proud to unveil the park today because, as many of you know, this has been quite the journey.
This firm and our clients have put up with my endless ideas and my, ah, fastidious vision.
” His employees laugh knowingly. “Like with everything else, I had very specific plans for this park and could see the future so clearly in my mind.” He looks straight at me, the corner of his mouth lifting up, his eyes twinkling.
A look that would normally set my pants on fire.
But this time, when my heart is beating, it’s not with romantic anticipation.
I find my gaze moving—roving over the crowd until it finds Ellis.
He seems to feel my eyes on him, because he looks up.
I go where the wind takes me.
Who is the person to best navigate the chaos of life with? Do I want a relationship that feels like a slow, steady burn—one full of shared passions and big plans? Or do I want one that feels electric and unexpected—digging my bare hands into the dirt and accepting life’s surprises?
The music comes back, snapping me out of it, and the Park women start making their way out.
“I can barely hear anything,” Halmoni complains.
“And I have to catch the shuttle to the casino,” Emoni says as she grabs a shrimp skewer.
Sunny gives me a hug. “Enjoy tonight, okay?” She pauses a beat. “Don’t overthink it, just go with how you feel.”
I nod and hug her back. “Thanks, Sunny. And thank you all for coming, it means a lot.”
After they leave, we start the cocktail portion of the evening just as the sun sets. There’s a dip in the temperature and the heat lamps are turned on. While I’m grabbing some drinks for myself and Daniel, I feel a tap on my shoulder. It’s the woman who was with Ellis earlier.
She smiles warmly at me. “Hi, I just wanted to say hello. I’m Ellis’s mom, Christina. Are you Cassia?” she asks, holding out a hand. Christina has one of those faces that has seen a lifetime of smiles and sunshine. Age spots on her high cheekbones, fine lines by her eyes and mouth. She’s beautiful.
I fumble to put the drinks back down to shake her hand. “Yes! Nice to meet you.”
“We’ve heard a lot about you,” she says. Then she adds, “All good, by the way. Ellis would kill me for saying any of this to you.”
It should be awkward but everything about Christina exudes a warmth that puts me at ease, as if we’ve known each other forever.
I guess this shouldn’t be a surprise, Ellis had to get it from somewhere.
“I’m flattered,” I say. “I have nothing but good things to say about your son as well.” And then I do catch his eye—he’s across the courtyard where we’re gathered, in conversation with some coworkers.
He freezes when he sees us talking. “He’s helped me a lot. ”
Christina seems to catch something between us, her bright eyes taking on a curiosity, so I quickly say, “You should be so proud of the work he’s done on this park. It’s beautiful.”
“Oh, I am. This entire firm—they do such great work,” she says. “We were over the moon when he got the job. Speaking of ‘we’ ”—she motions to the man who was with her earlier—“this is Ellis’s dad, Greg.”
Greg gives me a firm handshake and a warm smile as well. “Hi, there. You must be Cassia?”
I can’t even pretend that I’m surprised by him knowing who I am. “Hi, yes, nice to meet you, Greg. We were just talking about how proud you must be of Ellis.”
“Oh yeah, but we can’t show it or he’ll turn into a pile of mortified dust,” says Greg. “That hasn’t changed since he was a teenager.”
“Never could handle a compliment,” Christina says with an eye roll.
I feel a greediness rise in me to hear more about Ellis from his parents. To know what he was like when he was younger, how he is with the people who know him best. It bothers me, this greed, because I’ve never felt it with Daniel.
“Uh-oh, here he comes,” Greg says under his breath.
And he is coming over—big steps, a little bit of panic in his eyes while his expression stays relaxed.
“Hey,” I say, trying to reassure him with my smile, my so, so relaxed posture.
“Hey,” he says back, his eyes bouncing between me and his parents. “Why have my parents cornered you?”
We laugh. “They’re just showing me naked toddler photos of you, calm down.”
“What?” His head whips to his mom but when he realizes I’m fucking with him, he relaxes. “Honestly, wouldn’t be surprised.”
“No, we were talking about what a great job you guys did here.” My voice is wrapped in cautious warmth, putting a barrier between us. “It’s so perfect.”
A blush creeps up his neck and he ducks his head. “Thanks, it’s a great team.”
Christina and Greg shoot me looks as if to say, See?
“What did you work on, specifically?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“Ah.” He looks around. “Well, the planting, but the trees are my favorite. So, the newly planted seedlings, but also working with the arborist to preserve the established mature trees that are native to this area.”
“You always loved trees,” his mom says warmly. “Since you were a baby.”
“Oh my god,” Ellis says under his breath. “I did not show a tree aptitude as an infant, Mom.”
“You did!” she exclaims. “You were colicky and ruined my life but the only thing that calmed you down was stepping outside under the trees. You would look up at the leaves and instantly calm down.”
He’s beet-red now, and this entire interaction is so adorable that I have to look away. “Well, A-plus on the trees. Would hire you for sure.”
“You should prune that sycamore in your front yard,” he blurts out suddenly.
“What?”
“Ah. If you want, I mean. But the upper limbs are getting heavy and might pose a danger if we get heavy winds this year.” It’s said in a rush, as if he’s been holding this opinion for weeks. Which, he probably has.
“Oh, okay. Good to know,” I say. And suddenly it is awkward. The acknowledgment that he’s been to my house, the familiarity of it in front of his parents.
A small moving object runs into my legs at that moment and I shoot a thankful prayer to whoever just sent Ozzie to me.
“Auntie Cassie! I skipped a stone!”
“Oh wow, did you?” I rub her hair affectionately. “That’s a really difficult skill, my bud.”
Mica comes running up, too. “She didn’t!” he says scornfully. “It just hit another rock, so it looked like it.”
“I did!” Ozzie screeches.
But Mica isn’t paying attention to her anymore. He’s jumped into Ellis’s arms. “Ellis! Ellis! My arm is better now!” He holds out his arm.
“Look at that,” Ellis says seriously. “You wouldn’t even know that a swan monster attacked you.
” Both kids giggle and I feel that familiar spark of yearning inside of me.
Then Marcella and Logan join the kids and we introduce everyone to each other.
Food is passed around, stories are exchanged, and all of it feels so natural.
But instead of making me happy, it makes me feel choked up.