Chapter Thirty-Four
Hadley
I got a call from Scott’s mom the next day.
She wanted Lucy and Eli to spend the day with them.
Normally, I’d never tell them no—not counting the time I did following Scott’s outburst about Elijah.
When I asked Lucy if she wanted to go see them though, she didn’t want to.
For the sake of getting along, I’d try to convince her to go, but it was out of the question since we had plans to go to Elijah’s mom’s house.
That left Eli, but I couldn’t get past the ball of anxiety tightening in my stomach.
Scott and his family were snooty, rude, and gossipy, but they weren’t awful.
Because they were rude snobs who loved to gossip about me…
Because they didn’t approve of my parenting and my desire not to reunite with their son, it was really hard for me to be the bigger person.
Eli was five-months-old. He’d stayed over once with them and maybe saw Scott’s family a few times. They didn’t know my child, but it wasn’t my fault. That scared me. How would he feel with them?
By eleven o’clock, though, they called the hospital aggravating me.
Even Scott chimed in. I found it weird that when they wanted to see the kids it had to happen immediately.
I finally gave in around noon because they disrupted my workday.
I was mortified they were doing this while I was on the job.
I had to call my parents to let them know Scott was coming to get Eli for the night, only to hear from them an hour later saying Scott convinced Lucy to go too.
My nerves ate away at me as I tried to work and not think about my kids in someone else’s care.
I knew Lucy hadn’t wanted to go when I called and asked her earlier.
Then my dad told me how Scott acted when he picked them up. Dad was good for exaggerating some details, especially since he didn’t like Scott at all. To get through my shift, I kept telling myself that Dad was making up stuff— that Lucy wanted to see her dad.
It worked until Scott called the hospital an hour before I was supposed to clock out. Deb called me to the nursing station with a pitying frown as she handed over the phone. Lucy’s tears were the first thing I heard when I put the phone to my ear. Immediately, I said, “What’s wrong?”
“Lucy won’t do anything but cry. I’ve offered her ice cream and everything, and she won’t shut up.” Scott’s bitter tone snapped some of my anxiety and filled me with rage. “See what you’ve done? She won’t have anything to do with me.”
“Don’t you want to stay and hang out at Meme’s house?” I could hear his mom trying to talk to Lucy.
“No. I want my mommy.”
“She’s filling her head with nonsense,” his mother accused, and blood rushed to my face. “If she’s going to be this way, so can we.”
Was that a threat? I was beyond livid.
“Lucy, I’m your dad. Stop crying!” Scott yelled.
“Stop yelling at her,” I hissed quietly. “I’m coming to get them.”
“No! We just got Eli to sleep. You know how long that took?” He was still shouting .
“She breastfeeds him so, he won’t take a bottle!” his mother yelled loud enough that I could hear. She wanted me to.
Eli never turned down a bottle. I knew it was a bad idea letting them visit with Scott’s family. “I’m coming to get them.” I hung up.
They let me leave work early. I was ashamed that everyone knew my drama by the time I left.
No doubt, I’d be at the center of gossip the next week.
Worrying about rumors wasn’t important, picking up my kids mattered more.
I was angry and scared, and unsure how I could feel both at the same time.
It took me fifteen minutes to get to Scott’s parents’ house.
I shut off the SUV and knocked on the door.
Scott answered, but Lucy ran out behind him—still crying—and wrapped her arms about my legs.
“What happened?” I asked. “Don’t tell me nothing. Lucy wouldn’t be crying over nothing. ”
“I don’t want to live here!” Lucy screamed, and now it made perfect sense.
“Where’s Eli? Bring him here.” I was calm as I spoke, but I never hid the anger in my body or face as I stared at Scott.
His mom stepped into the doorway with Eli who was also crying—my baby who never hardly cried was red-faced and screaming.
Never again.
The rage I felt could kill.
I grabbed him but even then, he didn’t soothe immediately. “At this rate, Eli will never know us.” She huffed.
“That’s not my fault. Grab your shoes, Lucy.” She let go of me and turned around to slip by her grandmother and dad, standing in the doorway, to grab her shoes. “You can’t expect them to want to come over once or twice every six months thinking they’re going to feel comfortable with you.”
“Exactly. You don’t let them see us!” Scott’s mother hissed .
“I’m not arguing about this when you know I always tell Scott he can see them whenever he wants.” Eli finally settled down—clutching my scrubs in his meaty little fists while studying my face to make sure it was me. “You ready, Lucy?” She nodded and hurried next to me.
“Hadley, baby, I’m sorry that I’m being so hateful.”
I flinched at the way Scott called me baby. Funny. I never recalled Scott using that pet name with me. Elijah called me his baby. It felt different when he said it—like he cared about me. Hearing it from Scott didn’t even come close.
“I miss you guys. It’s making me hateful that Eli doesn’t know me. Lucy, don’t you miss your dad?” She grabbed my side and smashed her face against my scrub bottoms refusing to answer or look at Scott.
“That’s not my fault,” I repeated with a sigh.
“You kicked me out.”
“That shouldn’t stop you from seeing Lucy or getting to know Eli!” I glanced over at his mom. “I think you guys should see them a few hours here and there before trying to spend the night again.”
“What?” she said.
“Tell them bye, Lucy.”
“Bye,” Lucy whispered, urging me to the car. I turned around and headed for it with Lucy right by my side.
I tensed up when I heard gravel crunching behind me. Scott yelled, “Don’t think I don’t know about Elijah? Lucy told me. You think I’m going to let you keep that around my kids? Keep up your shit, and you’ll see that I’m serious.”
Ignoring him, I opened the back door and buckled Eli in first before helping Lucy. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I realized none of it mattered when Scott didn’t really care. Tears filled my eyes. Admitting that he only saw his kids as a way to hurt me was too much to handle .
I cried. Lucy saw it since I had to buckle her up. By the time I finished, the tears ran down my cheeks with a vengeance. I broke some more when she cried with me. “Don’t cry,” I told her sternly, wiping away the tears on my face that continued to fall.
Scott was still running his mouth, but I crossed him out of my mind. I walked around and climbed in the driver’s seat and drove off. “I don’t want to go back,” Lucy whimpered as I drove.
“Want to tell me what happened?” I wiped my eyes as I glanced at her through the rearview mirror.
“They just kept talking and talking about you.” She threw her head back, crying harder than before. My tears fell as I focused on the road. “I hate when they talk about you. It makes me cry.”
“It’s okay, Lucy.” Her words upset me. I shouldn’t have let her go. I should have said no.
“I don’t want to live at Meme Lilly’s.”
“You’re not living anywhere but with me,” I told her. “I promise.” That seemed to settle her. Her tears finally quietened. She was wiping her eyes when I asked, “What’s Bubby doing?”
“Looking around,” she answered with a sniffle. “He’s happy now. It’s okay, Bubby.” I stared in the mirror to see her leaning across the middle to grab Eli’s hand.
I cried all over again.
_____
In my panic state, I never got the chance to speak to Elijah that day. It wasn’t until I saw him stepping out of his house that I remembered we were supposed to go to his mom’s. He must have been looking for us.
He doesn’t need my troubles, I told myself as I stepped out and opened the back door to get Eli .
He didn’t need my burdens with that giant smile on his face as he walked toward us. Then slowly, like ours, his smile dimmed as his gaze swept over me. I picked up Eli from his seat. Walking over to Lucy’s side, I couldn’t look at Elijah because the tears were on the verge of falling again.
“Hadley.” I didn’t answer him when he spoke.
I helped Lucy unbuckle her straps, and she climbed out.
“Lucy.” She looked up at him. “What’s wrong?
” Her eyes darted from me to Elijah, clearly torn, afraid she was doing something wrong.
It took less than a day for Scott and his mother to crush Lucy’s spirit.
“Go on,” I croaked.
She didn’t waste a second after that. Lucy ran and jumped at Elijah who lifted her up. “What’s wrong?” he said again. Instead of answering, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Come here, Hadley.” His voice was soft yet firm. I glanced down. Staring directly at him would make me crack.
Three seconds was all it took for him to step closer, then he squished Eli and me to him and Lucy. “Y’all need a hug or some shit?” Lucy’s giggle vibrated the parts of me that were touching her. “Even Eli is red-nosed and teary-eyed. I want to know who did this.”
She pushed off his chest a little to see his face. “Are we going to your mom’s house?”
He glanced at me. “Ask your mom.”
She turned around and asked, “Are we, Mom?”
“If you want to,” I whispered.
Lucy said, “She’ll feed us like Mamaw does.” That had Elijah laughing.
“Okay, you beggar, we’ll go.” I ran my fingers through her hair as she laughed with Elijah, pleased I called her a beggar, apparently .
“Go wash your face up and change out of your scrubs.” He sat Lucy down and took Eli from my hands. “Want me to put the car seats in my truck?”
“No, you can just drive us in mine.”
He nodded. “Stop staring and go on.”
“I need to feed Eli. I don’t know—"