Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Scarlett
“Oh, I love this shawl so much, Mom. It feels smooth and airy. It’s so light and intricate too. You’re getting quicker too because you weren’t working on this very long.” I held up the cream shawl that my mother had crocheted and let my fingers slide over the smooth and nearly silky wool.
My mom beamed and moved forward, hands outstretched.
“It turned out really lovely, didn’t it?
I want to thank you again for the pattern.
You don’t have to keep buying me patterns that I say I like when we scroll through them online.
But I do appreciate it, daughter of mine.
” She lifted her hand once more and cupped my cheek.
I leaned into the touch, loving the light in my mother’s eyes.
I would work constant hours and do paperwork until my fingers bled in order for my mother to smile like that again. I only wish she’d smile outside of her home.
At first, her leaving the house had been a difficult but not nearly impossible thing.
Yes, we could still get her out for important appointments that couldn’t be done at home, but a few years ago, she would get in the car, take deep breaths, and we would traverse Cage Lake.
We would have afternoons where it was girl time, and we would enjoy lunches, coffees, and sunning ourselves on the lake.
She would shop for wool in person, knowing the exact dye lot that she wanted.
And yet, with each passing month, as each additional threat of my father would slyly blend into our lives—even from afar—her circle would shrink.
Eventually she would only go to the closest shop.
And then would only walk to the edge of the street.
Now, unless we physically forced her—which would result in crying and sobbing for all parties involved—she didn’t leave the house.
My mother was the queen of online shopping and finding the best deals to make that happen.
She still worked a full-time job but was able to do it from home.
The invention of the internet was honestly the best thing that had ever happened to my family, and something that made it easier for my mother to walk away from.
The idea that my father was still out there, lurking, made things even more difficult.
There was a restraining order which said that my father couldn’t be within a hundred feet of wherever my mother was, nor could he even be in an area where he could set eyes upon her home, but restraining orders had to be enforced.
Our sheriff and local officers were wonderful, but they couldn’t be around twenty-four hours a day.
The worry that had etched itself onto my mother’s face years ago would never go away.
Yet this simple shawl that she had made, that wasn’t simple at all, lightened those lines ever so much.
“Honestly, it’s probably the best shawl you’ve ever made. It’s so intricate.”
Mom leaned into me, her smile still shinning. “I’m glad you like it. Because it’s yours.”
I shook my head, not surprised at her generosity. “No. You should sell it, Mom. Your shop is doing fantastic.”
In addition to my mom’s full-time job as a copy editor, she also sold a few of her projects in a small online store.
I was so proud of everything that she was doing, knowing that while she couldn’t always get outside, with those times that she could coming fewer between, she was still living a life.
Perhaps more than I was these days, considering she had a full online community that she spent time with. They had online parties, and even a book club and wine night.
I hung out with the girls when they were all in town, but honestly, I had missed the past two because of work, and well, Ronin.
I didn’t want to think about him, especially not in my mother’s home.
She didn’t know the truth about Ronin. I’d told her we’d broken up and I didn’t want to see him again because it hurt emotionally—not that I was truly afraid of him.
I wasn’t going to put that stress on her shoulders.
I didn’t want to stain her with the shame of my own choice.
I would never blame my mother for what my father had done.
Never blame her for not leaving when she had tried multiple times for herself and for her girls.
I did blame myself for following that path.
She might not have paved it for me, but I hadn’t listened to the signs that I had learned the hard way through my mother’s pain.
I pushed those thoughts from my mind, because they weren’t going to help anyone right now, and shook out the shawl once more. “I still have that lovely sage green one you gave me. You should sell this.”
Mom pressed her lips together slightly before giving me a shake of her head. “I might, when I make the next one. But this one’s for you. And I’m not taking no for an answer.” She lifted her chin, that fire in her eyes reminding me of years past.
“Oh, thank you. Seriously. I love you, Mom.” I slid the shawl around my shoulders and then wrapped my mom in a hug. She held me close, each of us standing there for a long moment, just breathing one another in.
I stood back as her computer dinged. “That’s the group chat. Carla is going on a date, and we’re all helping her choose what to wear.”
I didn’t know who Carla was, but she had to be one of my mother’s friends. “I love that so much, Mom. Does she do a little fashion show for you?”
“Of course. Just like you and your sister used to do for me when you were younger. Never on dates since I know you didn’t date until after high school, but for your events and outings with your friends.”
Of course Luna and I had gone on dates, just not when our father had been around.
We’d hidden so many things from him. So we’d find ways to bring Mom into our lives while trying to hide our happiness because he’d use it to punish Mom.
When Dad hadn’t been there to judge or to yell.
Or to throw Mother down the stairs because Luna and I had to be whores for daring to date a boy.
I pushed those thoughts out of my mind, hating the memories that always seemed to creep up.
I grabbed my purse as I followed my mom to her little desk where she’d set up her laptop.
She no longer lived in our childhood home.
The memories of her screams no longer dug into the patterned walls.
This new place was all hers. And had slowly become her self-sustaining prison.
“You tell them hi for me, I need to get back to the house. It’s my day off, so that means errands, errands, errands. ”
“That’s how it always is. I hope the Cages aren’t working you too hard, dear.” She tapped my hand as her attention drifted to the chimes of the active group chat.
My lips lifted into a smile since I knew she was distracted but I couldn’t help but defend the job I loved—not that Mom had a problem with the Cages. “They aren’t. I just want to show them that I’m the best at what I do. They deserve to have the best.”
“So do you, light of my life. And you’re allowed to take time for yourself.”
“I know. And I’m doing it right now.”
“Spending time with your mother,” she said dryly.
“You’re one of my best friends. You’re just going to have to get over it.”
She rolled her eyes, laughing, and it made the long nights worth it.
Because my mother hadn’t left in a long while, until recently.
She was doing good, at least in some respects.
So when she kissed my cheek and walked me out of the house, careful not to step a toe off the threshold, I held back a small sigh and made my way to my car.
She had an upcoming doctor’s visit soon, one that we couldn’t do with just a home visit, and she would fight it.
She would never yell at us, never push, but she would break down inside, and it would break me.
But as the sister left in Cage Lake, it was my responsibility.
I would never begrudge Luna for moving to Denver, for finding her passion at a university there, but some part of me wished that life could be different.
But that wasn’t the case and wishes never came true.
I drove down the side streets of Cage Lake, before turning right on Main Street and going north towards the lake.
Soon people would no longer be near the slopes and instead, on the lake for something other than ice fishing.
Of course, weather in Cage Lake meant that one could probably do both within the same day and not find it odd.
I nodded at a few people that I knew and waited as tourists jaywalked across the road without paying attention.
I rolled my eyes and told myself that tourists were my bread and butter.
They were literally why I had a job. Part of me wanted to check in on my staff, to see how they were doing today with a full resort, but I had promised my second-in-command I wouldn’t.
They would call me if there was an emergency.
I apparently needed to just have a day off.
I tapped my finger along the steering wheel and finally pulled into my driveway. The sun shone brightly through the tall trees, and I smiled at my small two-story cabin. It was mine, and no one else’s. My little refuge.
With another sigh, I got out of the car and made my way around the back of the house.
I looked up at my security cameras, and then down at my watch that buzzed about the movement on my own property.
I’d immediately added more security after Ronin had stopped by, and some part of me felt like it wasn’t enough.
Maybe it would be better if I lived in town, where everyone would be watching me at all times, but I needed this place. I needed my solitude.
I worked with people and strangers for hours a day, and part of me just needed a moment alone. So I would do all that I could to make it safe. I resented that Ronin was trying to take that away from me.