42. Hearts Shattered To Dust
HEARTS SHATTERED TO DUST
CASH
“Paige?” I asked when she finally answered her phone.
This had been one of the longest days of my life. I woke up expecting to find Paige wrapped around me, and instead the bed was empty and cold. I walked into the kitchen expecting to find her with a mug of coffee in her hands, but she wasn’t there. That was when the panic started to seep in.
I frantically ran around the house but every trace of her was just gone. Her wedding rings laid abandoned on the dresser but there was no note. My breaths came in shallow as I ran out to the front porch, praying she would be there.
I had tried calling for hours without an answer. I sent texts. I called Walker. No one had heard from her. My mind was racing with the worst possible scenarios and I was ready to hit the road and search for her to drag her back to me.
“Yeah, hey, I’m here.”
Just hearing her voice had tears springing to my eyes with relief.
“Where are you, baby?”
“California,” she whispered.
California?
What the fuck was she doing there.
“Are you okay?”
She didn’t answer for a moment and I heard her footsteps as she paced.
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Okay…” I trailed off. “What happened? When are you coming back?”
She was quiet again which had the panic seeping back in.
“I’m not.”
My heart shattered from two simple words.
“What do you mean, you’re not?” My voice was gruff as I tried my hardest to keep myself together.
Paige let out a breath. “I think I need some time to explore who I am. Some time alone.”
“Did I do something? Please tell me. I’ll fix it.”
“No. You were perfect.” Her voice sounded sad, as if she had been crying for hours and was exhausted.
“Then what happened? Baby, please. I’m dying over here.”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen, Cash. We weren’t supposed to be together.”
“Why?”
“You didn’t choose this. You should take that spot and go live the life you deserve. I won’t be the one holding you back. I refuse to have you resent me when you didn’t even want to marry me.”
What?
I wasn’t sure where she got this idea, but I was so fucking in love with Paige Brooks it actually was painful. Sure, this wasn’t the plan, but I wouldn’t change how we happened for anything.
“Paige, baby, we can work this out. I want to be with you.”
“You say that now, but before we got together, you were this single party boy. You can be that again. You deserve to choose your future.”
I huffed out a breath. I could feel myself starting to get angrier.
“I choose you!” I shouted into the phone. “I want you. I love you, Pip.”
“Please don’t say that. Please take some time.”
“I don’t want time,” I gritted out.
“Maybe, but I need time.”
I took a deep breath and settled myself down before answering.
“Listen to me, Paige. You can take this time. You want six months? You can have six months. Do whatever you want. Fuck whoever you want. Live wherever you want. But I’m going to be right here when you come home because you’re it for me, Paige Brooks.
You are the girl I will spend the rest of my life with.
When you are ready to accept that love—when you are ready to fully feel every emotion you feel—I’ll be here. ”
I heard Paige break into a sob on the other end of the phone, and all I wanted was to reach out to her and hold her close to my chest.
“Okay,” she simply said.
“Okay. I’m gonna go, but call me anytime, baby. I’m here for you, whether we’re together at the moment or not.”
“I will,” she said quietly.
I knew she wouldn’t. I knew my wife. She was stubborn and when she had an idea in her head, she had to work it out for herself before she could move on.
“I love you, Paige,” I whispered.
“I know,” she whispered before the line went dead.
I pulled the phone from my ear and screamed into the night air before throwing my phone across the driveway.
Anger was pulsing through me as the one thing I had ever truly loved left me like everyone else.
I had to pray that she would find her way back to me when she discovered whatever she was searching for within herself.
A beer appeared in front of me and I took it from Buck’s hand before chugging the entire thing.
“She’ll be back,” Tweety said from next to him.
“Maybe,” I mumbled.
“She will. You guys are on some soulmate type shit level. We’ve both seen it since we got into the car at the beginning of the summer.” Buck nudged my shoulder.
“Yeah, why else do you think we flirted with her so much.” Tweety laughed as I clapped him on the back of the head.
“I think I’m ready to tell you guys the whole story,” I said, still looking out over the cascading mountain ranges.
Buck and Tweety sat on the loveseat on the front porch as I turned to face them.
“It all started when I was eighteen. I found an annoyingly beautiful girl lying in hay, talking to her horse…”