46. Yeah. We’re really fucking doing this, Pip
YEAH. WE’RE REALLY FUCKING DOING THIS, PIP
PAIGE
I trudged up the stairs with my suitcases to my little apartment and opened the door, taking a deep, calming breath. Dust kicked up in the sunlight that was peeking through the single window and the air smelled stale.
This was weird. I was not the same girl who left this place all those months ago.
That girl had been afraid to live her life out loud.
That girl had been terrified to put her heart on the line.
I placed my suitcases on my bedroom floor and plopped onto my bed. The last few days I had been freaking out about coming home. It was a mixture of pure excitement and nerves. I was sure of what I wanted, but what if I was too different now?
A knock sounded at my door, and when I answered it Reid was standing with his hands in his pockets and a goofy smile on his face. I ran into his chest as he squeezed his arms around me.
“Missed you, P,” he said into my hair.
“I missed you, too.”
Reid pulled back and nodded toward the stables. “Come on, I have something to show you.”
I closed the door behind me and followed Reid down the stairs. We passed the training paddock as the stables came into view. I was so excited to see Shadow, but the moment we turned into the stables, I halted in my tracks.
Red rose petals lined the aisle and ended right at the gate of Shadow’s stall.
“Go on,” Reid said as he gestured for me to walk forward by nudging my shoulders with both hands.
I furrowed my brows in confusion as he started to retreat backward.
My heart rate picked up as I followed the trail of roses and peered inside. Shadow whinnied the moment she saw me, and I squealed as I ran up to her.
She nuzzled her nose into me, and I sighed a breath of relief.
I didn’t realize how much of my soul was missing while I had been away from this place.
When I pulled back, I noticed that Shadow’s mane was braided with little white flowers tucked throughout it.
I ran my fingers over the soft hairs and tears sprang to my eyes.
I heard footsteps behind me and turned, expecting to see Reid standing there.
I froze when Cash Leonard stood in the stall entrance.
He was wearing light-wash Wranglers that hugged his thighs and a plain white tee that was a little too tight on his biceps.
My eyes trailed up to the brown cowboy hat on his head and he flashed me his classic smile that made me melt every single time.
“Hey, Pip,” he said, snapping me out of my trance.
“Hey, Leonard.” My voice broke and tears rimmed my eyes.
I fisted my hands at my side to keep myself from running into him. We had a lot to talk about, and I was unsure how he felt. I’d run out on him. I left in the morning without leaving a note. I abandoned him on our journey. He could very well hate me.
And I loved him. I had always loved him.
I wanted to be together, and admitting that was terrifying.
I needed my time in California. I needed the space to process my thoughts. I needed to see more than Montana. But all that time showed me that my life here was exactly what I wanted. The grass is always greener if you constantly doubt yourself.
Now I knew what I wanted.
We stood in silence for a few seconds until he took a step in my direction.
I took that step as permission to let my self-control snap. I ran up to him and jumped into his arms. He caught me as my legs wrapped around his hips. He gripped me impossibly tight and sighed into my hair.
The feeling of being in his arms again was too much and I could feel the tears falling before it even registered that I was crying.
“I missed you, baby girl,” he whispered into my hair.
“I missed you, too.” My voice croaked and I squeezed my arms tighter around him.
Cash placed me back on my feet and cupped my jaw, wiping at my tears with his thumb.
“Don’t cry, it’s okay.”
I nodded and wiped my eyes. I was stupid to think that the connection Cash and I shared would disappear from a little distance. Still, the longer I was in California, the more the intrusive thoughts crept in.
“I have something to show you.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the stall. He led me out of the stables and down the path, past The Village and Walker’s house. I glanced up at him confused as we passed the house and continued walking. Cash led me up to an empty field and turned to face me.
“What are we doing here?” I laughed nervously.
Cash took a deep breath. “I know we have a lot to talk about. I want to hear all about California and your adventures. I want to see your photographs and the work you did. But I need to get this out first.”
“Okay…” I trailed off, unsure where this was going.
“I understand why you needed space. We got caught up in this whirlwind and it was all-consuming. The last three months made me really sit back and think about the past and the future. It made me think about what I want and who I want it with.”
I nodded. My heart threatened to explode in my chest as the ringing in my ears intensified.
“Paige Brooks, I am so hopelessly, endlessly in love with you. I have been in love with you since I first showed up on the ranch, and that feeling never went away. I will follow you wherever you want to go. I will live the life you dream of as long as I have the chance to do it at your side. You said you felt like I never had the chance to choose what life I wanted, but I choose you. I choose you every time. You are the life that I want.”
I started shaking at his words. This was all I ever wanted from him.
“You still want to be with me?” I whispered, barely able to get the words out.
“I want to grow old with you, Paige.”
“What about the rodeo?”
“Fuck the rodeo, P. That was great. It was something I was able to earn and a summer I will never forget, but that’s not the lifestyle I want.” He took a paper out of his pocket and handed it to me.
I unfolded it and took in the image on the page.
“What’s this?” I was looking at a blueprint.
“This is our house. I used the money I made this summer to start paying your dad for the land. We can build it however you want. You can furnish it however you want. We can grow old here and watch our kids grow up loving the land the way we do. You and me. Together.”
My hand flew to my mouth in shock. Our house. You and me. Together.
I released the paper in shock. We both watched as it fluttered to the ground and landed on the dewy grass. “I can’t believe you did all this.”
“I’d do anything for you. I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you too, Jesse Leonard.”
Cash grabbed my chin, tilting it up before his lips met mine. I melted into him. I felt the last missing piece of my soul click back into place.
When Cash pulled back, he had the goofiest smirk on his face.
“So, we’re really doing this?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Yeah. We’re really fucking doing this, Pip.”
He reached inside of his shirt and pulled out a chain with three sparkling rings dangling in the center. He unclasped the necklace and slid the rings into his palm before picking up my left hand and placing them where they would sit for a lifetime.
Cash bent down and scooped me up into his arms.
I burst into laughter as he walked us back up to the big house to celebrate with the rest of the family.