Chapter 10 The Address #2
He could spend the evening reading the redevelopment documents, checking the data, understanding exactly what his company was planning before he faced Kai.
That would be sensible.
Responsible.
Safe.
But the thought of not seeing Kai felt worse than the thought of seeing him.
So Elliot boarded the train.
Kai was already inside.
He stood near their usual place, one hand wrapped around the vertical pole, his tattooed arm exposed beneath his sleeveless shirt. The moment he noticed Elliot, his expression changed.
A smile appeared.
“You're late.”
Elliot glanced at the carriage clock.
“I'm on time.”
“Not according to me.”
Elliot managed a small smile.
“You're becoming demanding.”
“Maybe.”
Kai looked at him more carefully.
The smile disappeared.
“You okay?”
Elliot adjusted his glasses.
“Yeah.”
Kai didn't believe him.
Elliot knew immediately.
Kai had become too good at reading him.
The train began moving.
Elliot stood beside him, staring through the window.
He could feel Kai watching him.
“What happened?” Kai asked.
“Nothing.”
“You're doing that thing.”
“What thing?”
“Pretending nothing is wrong.”
Elliot swallowed.
The irony almost made him laugh.
That was exactly what he was doing.
The redevelopment document was still on his phone.
He could open it right now.
He could show Kai the address.
He could explain everything.
His thumb moved toward his pocket.
Then stopped.
Not yet.
He needed to understand more.
That was what he told himself.
He needed facts.
He needed to know whether the property list was final.
He needed to know whether the redevelopment plan could be changed.
He needed to know whether the address was actually at risk or merely included in an early planning document.
Most importantly, he needed to know whether he could do something about it before frightening Kai.
Because if Elliot told him now and the project could still be stopped, perhaps the truth would only cause unnecessary pain.
That reasoning sounded logical.
It also sounded like fear.
Kai leaned slightly closer.
“You're somewhere else tonight.”
Elliot looked at him.
“Sorry.”
“Don't apologize.”
“I didn't mean to be distracted.”
“I know.”
Kai's voice softened.
“Tell me what's going on.”
Elliot looked at him.
For one terrifying second, he almost said it.
The words reached the back of his throat.
Your studio is on the redevelopment list.
He could see Kai's reaction before it happened.
The shock.
The anger.
The hurt.
Then the question.
Why didn't you tell me?
Elliot couldn't answer that without admitting that he had known and chosen silence.
So instead, he looked away.
“Work.”
Kai frowned.
“Bad day?”
“Complicated.”
“Want to talk about it?”
Elliot shook his head.
“Not yet.”
Kai studied him.
“Okay.”
The answer was surprisingly gentle.
No pressure.
No demand.
Just acceptance.
That somehow made Elliot feel worse.
He had spent weeks learning that Kai didn't force people to speak before they were ready.
Now Elliot was using that trust to hide something.
The train passed another station.
Kai nudged him lightly with his shoulder.
“You're thinking too much.”
“I do that.”
“I know.”
Elliot smiled despite himself.
“It's part of my charm.”
“That's not the word I'd use.”
“What word would you use?”
“Annoying.”
Elliot laughed.
The sound came out more naturally than he expected.
Kai smiled.
“There you are.”
Elliot looked at him.
“What?”
“You.”
Kai gestured vaguely toward him.
“The one who laughs.”
Elliot felt something twist inside his chest.
He didn't deserve how easily Kai could bring that version of him back.
They continued talking.
Kai told him about a client who had spent nearly an hour changing their mind about a tattoo design.
Elliot laughed at the story.
“You're laughing.”
“They couldn't decide?”
“They wanted three different designs combined into one.”
“Did you do it?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because it would have looked terrible.”
Elliot smiled.
“Did you tell them that?”
“Of course.”
“You really don't care about being polite.”
“I care about being honest.”
The words struck Elliot unexpectedly.
Honest.
He looked at Kai.
Kai was still talking, completely unaware of the conflict inside Elliot.
Elliot listened.
He watched the movement of Kai's hands as he explained the story.
He watched his expression change.
He watched him laugh at his own frustration.
And Elliot thought about the address sitting on his phone.
The studio.
The old chair.
The photographs.
The place Kai loved.
The place Elliot's company might destroy.
His hand tightened around his phone inside his pocket.
He wanted to tell him.
He needed to tell him.
But another thought stopped him.
What if he could change it?
What if the data was wrong?
What if the project wasn't as fixed as it appeared?
What if he could find enough evidence to challenge the assumptions before anyone acted?
If he told Kai too early, he might create panic without having a solution.
That was what Elliot told himself.
He would investigate first.
Then he would tell him.
He would make sure he had something useful to offer.
The reasoning gave him temporary relief.
It didn't make the secret any less painful.
The train entered a tunnel.
Their reflections appeared in the window.
Elliot looked at them.
Kai was smiling.
Elliot wasn't.
He glanced down at his phone.
The screen lit up.
The redevelopment document was still open.
The address appeared near the top of the page.
Elliot quickly locked the screen.
Kai noticed the movement.
“Work again?”
“Yeah.”
“You really need to stop checking it.”
“I know.”
“You're going to make yourself miserable.”
Elliot looked at him.
“I think I already am.”
Kai's expression softened.
“Come here.”
He reached for Elliot's hand.
Their fingers intertwined.
The gesture was so familiar now that Elliot almost forgot where they were.
Almost.
Kai rubbed his thumb across Elliot's knuckles.
“You don't have to carry everything alone.”
Elliot's throat tightened.
He wanted to tell him.
He wanted to put the phone in Kai's hand and let the truth come out.
Instead, he squeezed Kai's fingers.
“I know.”
Kai looked at him for a long moment.
“Whatever it is, we'll figure it out.”
Elliot nearly closed his eyes.
Those words hurt.
Because Kai had no idea what he was promising.
They would figure it out.
Together.
That was what Elliot wanted.
But first he had to decide whether he had the courage to tell him what was happening.
The train slowed.
Elliot looked at the display.
His station.
Already.
He didn't want to leave.
Not tonight.
Leaving meant returning to the world where the redevelopment document existed.
The world where Kai's studio was only a property number.
The world where Elliot's job and his relationship had become impossible to separate.
The announcement sounded.
“Next station…”
Kai looked toward the doors.
“That's yours.”
Elliot nodded.
Neither released the other's hand immediately.
Then the train began slowing.
Elliot finally let go.
The absence of Kai's touch felt heavier than usual.
He stepped toward the doors.
Kai watched him.
“See you tomorrow?”
Elliot turned.
“Yes.”
Kai smiled.
“Good.”
The doors opened.
Elliot stepped onto the platform.
He turned back before the doors closed.
Kai was still there.
Still watching him.
Still smiling.
For a moment, Elliot saw only the man he had fallen for.
Not the property owner.
Not the redevelopment target.
Not the person whose future might be affected by Elliot's work.
Just Kai.
The man who made him laugh.
The man who had trusted him.
The man whose tattoo studio felt like home.
The doors began closing.
Elliot's eyes remained on him until the glass separated them.
Then the train disappeared into the tunnel.
Elliot stood alone on the platform.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.
The redevelopment document was still there.
He opened it.
The address stared back at him.
A few minutes ago, the secret had been trapped inside the train with him.
Now Kai was gone.
The carriage was gone.
The private world between the stops was gone.
But the secret remained.
Elliot stared at the address and finally understood what had changed.
Their old rule had once been simple.
What happened between the doors closing and opening stayed on the train.
Tonight, the truth had followed him off.
And for the first time since he and Kai had created their little world between stations, Elliot was carrying something from that world that he could no longer leave behind when the doors opened.
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