Chapter Ninety
Ninety
Signals
I lie in bed, feet on different wiggling schedules, fingers fizzing with what I suspect is restless hands syndrome. Somehow, and I can’t believe I’ve let this happen, I have fallen head over heels in love with my grumpy next-door neighbour, who it turns out is a former professional athlete coming off a serious injury.
I can’t stop thinking about him. Even when he’s at his most annoying, I can’t help wondering what his mouth would feel like if I kissed him. I could just do it. I could just lean forward and kiss him, except I can’t. I can’t cross the invisible divide between us. If we were meant to kiss, it would have happened. We wouldn’t have been interrupted by a free-roaming rat.
*
The next evening, I get a message from Caleb.
It’s the first time he has ever texted me – he’s always just turned up at my door. I didn’t even give him my number, so he must have got it from Betty.
I’m at the arcade for the book club. My nan told me to come, but there’s nobody else here.
There’s a note here, though. For you.
The arcade? Why is he there? Of all the places on the island? This is clearly another ruse engineered by Betty, but what is she up to?
When I get to the arcade, I see it’s lit by strings of white fairy lights and candles set in hurricane lamps. In the centre of the room, there’s a table set up with a white cloth, a cheeseboard, glasses, a bottle of wine and a note with my name on it. Caleb hands it to me, looking as confused as I am.
I open it and see what Betty has written. One line.
Give him a chance or you’ll never know.
He waits for me to tell him what’s in the note, but that’s between me and his nan.
I look at him, really look at him, and then lean forward and kiss him.
I don’t believe in soulmates. My parents always told me that some people are just intensely compatible and if you’re lucky, you’ll run into one of them at some point. If you’re both single and into it, magic happens, and sometimes you don’t even have to be single. My mother was seeing another guy when she met my father. She gave up everything to run away into the woods and be with him. They took a tent into the forest and lived there together for two weeks of the summer. It’s how they got to know each other – truly, without any distractions, both distilled into the essence of themselves.
He pulls away. ‘Do you still love your ex? It’s his videos you watch, right?’
‘I stopped,’ I say quietly. ‘I was just so used to obsessing about him that it became a habit.’
He pushes me up against one of the fruit machines and kisses me deeply. My skin is alive now, not with fizzing frustration but with desire. I unbutton his shirt, my hands shaking, and he unzips my dress and pushes his body against mine.
He’s unhooking my bra, and his hands pause at my lace shorts.
‘Don’t stop,’ I say.
There are no more words to say to each other. We speak in a different language; one we’re learning together. This is what my body has been trying to tell me all along. This is what the quiet signals meant.