Chapter 19
KIKI
The journey back to the flat had been a nightmare and had taken twice as long as it should have.
First, they’d had to wait ages for a bus.
Then the bus had lingered at every single stop on the way.
And when they’d finally got to the flats…
yep, of course the lift was out again. And, worse than that, their neighbour, Mr Tavish, who lived directly across the landing from the druggies on her right, had been slowly, painfully making his way upstairs, holding on to the banister, puffing for breath and bright red with the heat.
Kiki couldn’t bring herself to race past him and leave him behind.
‘You go on up and get ready for tonight,’ she’d told Ava, as she took the old man’s arm.
At the top of the next flight of stairs, she’d begun to worry about him.
‘Mr Tavish, why don’t we just stop and rest a minute?
Here, have a sip of my water.’ She’d pulled her steel water bottle out of her bag – a present from one of the kids at school at the end of last term – and unscrewed the top, before handing it over to him.
‘Thanks, hen. I don’t think I’ve got another summer of this in me, to tell the truth.
I’ve been asking the council for a swap to a ground floor for the last ten years and it’s not happened yet.
Think I’m going to have to go and park myself in their office and refuse to leave.
I’ll probably get the jail, but at least there’ll be three meals a day and the cell won’t have any bloody stairs. ’
Kiki had felt a wave of sympathy, followed right after by a second soaking of irritation at the council.
This poor man. She had made a mental note to speak to Netta on the Family Listening Line about him, and ask if there was anything she could do to help.
Netta might know if there were any agencies that could support his move, or if not, even just a call and some chat would do him good.
Kiki knew he lived alone, and other than his daily trip to the bookies, he didn’t get out much.
Especially when the bloody lifts were broken.
Or maybe she could get in touch with Bryony Browne, that TikTok manifester that Ava followed, and ask her to rustle up some support and a ground-floor flat for Mr Tavish. And a lift engineer for everyone left behind.
The walk upstairs had ended up taking twenty minutes, and now that they’d made it to their floor, she was seriously worried about Mr Tavish. He was the colour of the red stripes on her Adidas Sambas, and he’d gone through all of her water.
When they reached his door, she helped him get his key in the lock and opened it. ‘I’ll be fine now, hen,’ he assured her. ‘Off you go and get yer lass to the show tonight.’ She’d told him all about it on their way up the 4,315 stairs. Or maybe it just felt like that many.
‘No, it’s okay. Let me make you a cup of tea first.’
He held up the plastic bag he was carrying. ‘I’ve got four cans of Tennent’s lager in here. There’ll be no need for tea, thanks very much. Now, off you go, lass.’
There was stubborn, and there was Mr Tavish, so Kiki knew when she was beat.
Besides, she was getting swirls of anxiety over getting to the show tonight.
She wanted to look good when she saw the man who’d promised to love her and then walked away.
She wasn’t sure when she’d get her moment to speak to him, so she’d planned to go early, on the off chance that she might spot him at a free moment and make her move.
The most important thing was giving herself the most time and best opportunity to do that, and running in late wasn’t going to help.
Besides, Ava also wanted to get there early so they could get good seats for the screening.
That’s why, as soon as Mr Tavish closed his door, she tore into her own flat, shouting, ‘Ava, what time do we need to leave here, hon?’
Silence.
No response.
She must have her earphones in.
‘Ava?’ Kiki tried again.
Still no response.
Kiki dropped her bag onto the sideboard that sat in the hall, and tried Ava’s bedroom – empty. Next stop, kitchen.
‘Ava?’
She didn’t need a response this time. Ava was sitting over at the table in front of the window, the one that Kiki sat at every morning with her first coffee of the day.
But she wasn’t looking out at the sun. She was staring at the tablet in front of her, the one that Kiki had been issued by the school she worked at so that she had access to the apps and training resources that she used as a classroom assistant.
The one that was linked to her phone, so that all her emails and texts were delivered there too.
‘You lied, Mum.’
Three words. That was all.
Before she said anything else, Kiki knew exactly what had just happened, but Ava spelled it out anyway.
‘I saw the texts Dad sent you. You said that he was held up at work – but it was “family stuff”. What does that even mean?’
‘I’m sorry, Ava. I don’t know.’
Kiki felt that cold spread of rage creep across her skin, bringing all her nerve endings to the surface, and she wanted to scream.
And she would, later. But, right now, her priority was to find some way really quickly to soothe the pain that was in every curve and shadow of her daughter’s beautiful face.
‘I’m sure it must be something really important…’
‘Am I not important?’ Ava shot back, and the venom in her voice was so uncharacteristic that Kiki felt it as a direct blow to the heart.
‘Yes, you are…’
‘Then why are you always sticking up for him? Making excuses for him? I don’t get it, Mum. Why?’
Now her words had been dipped in hurt and anguish.
‘I’m not making excuses for him…’ How could she explain it?
The reason she softened the blows that Kev dealt out was because she didn’t want this.
She didn’t want her daughter hurt. She didn’t want her to feel for a single second that the person who should love her most in this world just did not give a damn.
Maybe that was wrong, but it was the only way she’d felt she could protect Ava for the last sixteen years.
‘No, you’re flat-out lying for him too! You told me he said he’d send the money for my clothes. He didn’t. So how did we…?’
The truth must have dawned – and it seemed to escalate her fury even more. ‘You paid for them.’ It was an accusation. ‘But we don’t have the money for that.’
‘It’s fine, honey, I…’ Kiki was still speaking in calm, caring tones, trying her best to defuse this.
They didn’t need this today. This was one of the rare days that they had something to look forward to together.
A night out. Even if it came with a whole other stressful situation that her daughter knew nothing about.
However, she didn’t get to finish the sentence before Ava blurted, ‘Take it all back. The dress. The shoes. I don’t want them. Take it all back.’
She was shouting now, and a huge tear was dropping down her left cheek.
‘Honey, no. I want you to have it. You deserve all of this and so much more. I’m sorry…’
‘For lying?’ Ava was on her feet now, eyes blazing, such an uncharacteristic outburst from her sweet, shy daughter that Kiki was momentarily stunned speechless.
The worst thing was, she could completely understand how Ava felt.
If her mum, the closest person in her life, could lie to her, then who could she trust?
‘I don’t want any of it. None of it. I don’t even want to go tonight. Just forget that too.’
She was heading for the door, brushing past Kiki as she went.
Fear brought Kiki’s voice back.
‘Ava, just wait a minute. Where are you going?’
‘What does it matter? Out. Or would you rather I just lied to you? Isn’t that what we’re doing now?’
This wasn’t her. Ava never spoke to her like this.
Never raised her voice. Never challenged her.
They were a team. Which was probably why Kiki’s lies hurt more, and why Ava’s misdirected anger was coming full force in her direction.
Bloody Kev. He wasn’t even here to see the chaos he’d caused.
Kiki had never hated him more than she did right now.
Ava went flying out of the front door and Kiki chased after her. ‘Ava, wait. Let’s talk about this. Ava…!’
As soon as she got to the landing, she saw Ava disappear through the doors to the stairwell.
Kiki was about to run after her when two things happened.
The first was that she had to stop, because she realised that she didn’t have her front door keys, so if she closed the door behind her they’d be locked out.
And the second was, right at that moment, the door to Mr Tavish’s flat opened and he appeared in the doorway, leaning against the left-hand side of the chipped wood frame.
‘I thought… I thought I heard… heard you there, lass,’ he mumbled, taking deep gasping breaths between his words.
Kiki realised straight away that he didn’t look right. His face was even more flushed than it had been earlier, but there was a greyish tinge to his lips, and he was bent over as if he was in some kind of pain.
‘I don’t think… I don’t think I’m very well.’
Going after Ava wasn’t even an option now, not when this poor man obviously needed help.
‘Mr Tavish, I’ve got you, don’t worry.’ She darted across the concrete landing, ready to help him back inside. Maybe get him some more water. Call someone, a family member, maybe a doctor for him.
She didn’t get that far. Because just as she reached him, the poor soul let out a chilling groan and then slumped to the ground.