Chapter 33
33
A s she sat at the table daydreaming, Cally looked at her phone, hoping perhaps to see a message from Logan. Of course, there was nothing. She wondered where the situation was going to go. Would she ever see him again? Would they not have a story now? Was this the end? It made her heart hurt to think that because she couldn’t deal with not knowing about Cassia, they were no longer together. A tiny part of her felt quite impressed that he had called her bluff. The other stubborn part of her wasn’t going to have a bar of it.
Just after Alice put another coffee on the table, she answered a message from Nina about that evening's meeting, took a phone call, and started to doom scroll through her phone, shaking her head at what was going on in a couple of other parts of the country. Seeing not-very-nice scenes in the streets reminded her how nice it was in Lovely Bay. Almost as if the little town was exempt from stuff that was happening elsewhere. As if Lovely existed in its own little bubble. Eventually, putting her phone down, she people-watched out the window for a bit and watched Nancy from the station walk past, chatting away to Penny, the woman she’d met at the lighthouse. Then she waved as Clive from the riverboat, with a shopping bag from the Co-op over his arm, strolled past with his dog.
She sat staring for ages and stayed where she was as Alice shut up the deli for the day. As Alice pottered around setting up for the next day, she asked Cally if she wouldn’t mind going to the Co-op to grab an extra pint of milk. Cally gladly went, happy to take her mind off thinking about Logan. She stopped on the way to chat with Colin, who was heading in the direction of the deli for the meeting. Lost in a world of her own as she walked into the Co-op, she found herself in the biscuit aisle, shook her head, and made her way to the end, where the milk fridges stood all along the back in a row. Just as she was opening the middle fridge and wondering if Alice wanted skimmed or not she smelt Logan before she saw him. Instinctively, she turned around to see him standing at the end of the adjacent aisle in front of the cheese fridge, looking at blocks of cheddar.
Her mind raced as it toggled between running as fast as she could out the door without a backward glance or waiting until he turned so that he bumped straight into her. Deciding she couldn’t deal with it and very much wanting to make a hasty retreat, she grabbed a pint of milk. She then turned to leave with the door still open right at the same time as Logan glanced up. Their eyes met and Cally’s heart leapt. She stood there with the fridge door ajar. Unsure of what to do, she half-smiled. It was not reciprocated. ‘Hi.’
‘Cally.’
‘How are you?’
‘Yep, fine.’ Logan’s tone was clipped and not happy.
‘I, err.’
Logan put his hand up to stop Cally from speaking. ‘Sorry, I’ve got to run.’
Cally was a bit flabbergasted. ‘The least you could do is talk to me.’
‘I could say the same.’ Logan's face tightened and his expression was very guarded.
Cally shifted uncomfortably, clutching the pint of milk to her chest like a shield and slamming the fridge door shut. She gestured to the bottle. 'I was just getting some milk for Alice. For the deli.'
Logan nodded curtly, turning back to the cheese display. 'Right.'
Cally felt a flare of irritation at Logan’s dismissive attitude. She raised her voice a little bit. 'As I said, the least you could do is speak to me properly, Logan. We're both adults, aren't we?'
Logan's shoulders stiffened, and he turned back to face her fully, his expression now tinged with anger. 'Pah! Speak to you properly? That's a bit rich, coming from you. You've been avoiding me and you knew about the certificate for ages and didn’t let on. What a joke.'
'I haven't been avoiding you.’
Logan scoffed, shaking his head. 'Don't give me that.’
‘I’ve needed time, as I said, and I’ve been busy…’
‘We both know that's not the real reason. You made up your mind about something that happened years before I even met you and you don’t like it. You’re punishing me for that. End of.'
Cally’s cheeks flushed. 'Punishing you? Is that what you think this is?'
'What else am I supposed to think?' Logan retorted. 'You find out about a marriage that ended long before we met, and suddenly you can't even look at me, and there’s been no communication. You know you really need to grow up. How is that fair?'
Cally glanced around, acutely aware that they were having the conversation in the middle of the Co-op. 'I, err...'
Logan cut her off. ‘Do you have any idea what it’s like to be on the other side of this? You suddenly shut me out completely. Yeah, whatever. Not impressed. Not at all.’
Cally felt irrationally angry. She couldn’t quite compute that he’d turned the tables and was blaming her for everything. 'Oh, I'm sorry. Am I not reacting the way you'd like? You’re not impressed! I’ve heard it all now!'
Logan's eyes flashed. 'I didn't lie to you. I simply didn't tell you about something that happened years ago and has no bearing on our relationship whatsoever. Honestly, get over yourself.'
'No bearing? You were married , Logan. That's not exactly a minor detail! How do you work out that that’s not important?'
'It was a mistake,' Logan hissed, clearly trying to keep his voice down. 'A brief, stupid mistake that I'd rather forget. Why can't you understand that? So infuriating.’
Cally also hissed. 'Because you didn't trust me enough to tell me. Because I had to find out by accident. Do you have any idea how that feels?'
Logan grimaced in frustration. ‘I've apologised. I've explained. What more do you want from me?'
Cally, actually, wasn't entirely sure what she wanted. 'I wanted to be able to trust you. To know that you're not keeping other secrets from me.'
'I'm not! You're blowing this completely out of proportion. It was one mistake years ago. It doesn't change anything about us, about our relationship or what’s left of it.'
‘How can I trust that you're not hiding other things from me?'
Logan's expression hardened. He also rolled his eyes. 'It’s just ridiculous, and as I said, come back to me when you can deal with it or, you know, don’t. Your choice.’
Cally felt as though the ground was trembling beneath her feet. There was a small earthquake happening in the Co-op in Lovely Bay. ‘You’re making yourself very clear.’
‘Same to you. I think we both need some time to think about things.’
Cally nodded and before she could speak, Logan grabbed a block of cheese, turned and walked away, disappearing down an aisle without a backward glance. Cally stood there for a moment, clutching the forgotten milk bottle, feeling as though her world had just tilted on its axis again. What in the world? To be frank, she didn't know what to think. One thing was for sure: Logan was no walkover. He took no prisoners. So handsome when angry. Phew.
Mechanically, she made her way to the checkouts, paid for the milk, and stepped out into the warm Lovely Bay evening. As she walked back towards the deli, her mind whirred like crazy. Part of her wanted to run after Logan to try and fix things. But another part, the stubborn part that had been nursing her hurt, held her back. She replayed their conversation in her head, getting angrier and more upset by the second. As she approached the deli, she took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. There was no way she was going to take her personal drama into the festival meeting. She pushed open the door, the cheerful jingle of the shop bell ringing in her ears. Alice looked up from behind the counter and made a funny face. ‘Are you okay?'
Cally flicked the switch and forced a smile. ‘Yep, all good. Here's the milk. I couldn't remember if you wanted skimmed or not.’
‘Doesn’t matter. Thanks.’
‘I'm going to pop upstairs for a second. I just need to check my emails quickly.’
‘Okie-dokie. See you shortly.’
After popping to the loo, Cally looked in the mirror as she washed her hands. She spoke to her reflection. 'Why couldn't he just have told me in the first place? Grrr.’
She shook her head, tutted, and wrinkled her nose and face. A little voice whispered that she was being an idiot, that she was pushing Logan away because of her pride and stubborn streak. The voice was one hundred per cent right. She’d lost the game.