Chapter Twenty-Three
Si's bedroom is surprisingly nice – for a single man, I guess – decorated with warm colours and a few paintings of colourful landscapes.
We’re sitting on his bed, staring at the large TV on the wall, watching "The Shawshank Redemption" – well, it’s one of those classics that can draw you in no matter how many times you’ve seen it.
Si and Adam have a TV each, in their own rooms, so this is the only place to watch it. It’s comfortable though, propped up by big, fluffy pillows, eating popcorn and drinking tea – I’ve had enough alcohol already tonight.
‘Thanks for coming home with me, Leah,’ Si pipes up, his eyes still fixed to the screen. ‘I know I probably seem like a bit of a dick, leaving like that. Sometimes... being in my forties and single, it makes me feel like I’ve wasted my life. Like I am getting old, and I’m achieving nothing.’
I look at him, his face lit by the glow of the TV.
‘Hey, I'm not much younger than you,’ I remind him. ‘And I'm single too. It’s easy to feel like a failure when everyone around you seems to have it all figured out. My parents constantly remind me that Rory is the gold standard with his wife and kids.’
Si raises an eyebrow.
‘Is Rory really that happy, though?’ Si asks. ‘Being married?’
‘Yeah, he is,’ I say with a nod. ‘He loves his wife, and they’re enjoying doing the family thing.’
Si goes quiet, his eyes returning to the screen but his mind clearly elsewhere. I want to ask him why he and Rory fell out, but I hold back, because it probably isn’t a good idea to go down that rabbit hole tonight.
‘Sorry for being moody,’ he finally says, forcing a smile. ‘Let’s just watch the movie. No one should talk over a classic.’
‘Agreed,’ I say, trying to lighten the mood, but Si has got me thinking now. Thinking about my own life. Am I letting it slip by? Should I be settled now? Is it as tragic as I think it is, that I’ve managed to get to my thirties without having a steady job, a home, or a partner?
Shit, now it’s all that I can think about.