36. Chapter One
CHAPTER ONE
E lisabeth
I’m having my weekly FaceTime call with my sister back home in Val-Du-Lys a small town in Quebec, Canada while scrolling my phone. My sister is rocking her baby boy and muttering sweet nothings to him as I talk about my junior year of college coming to an end and how I can’t believe I don’t know where the last three years went.
My breath hitches when I see my boyfriends name pops up on my screen as a news notification. I click the link and I’m redirected to a page where I see my boyfriend of the last two years being photographed with a woman who is clearly a model.
“Elyna, I need to go,” I say to her abruptly as adrenaline pumps through my veins.
“Huh, why? Sorry, you have my attention now. Braden just closed his eyes. I’m placing him in the crib,” she says quietly. Elyna is a single mom to a six-month-old baby boy, Braden. She lives back home with my four brothers who are bachelors. They run our family microbrewery.
“I-I. . .” I’m at a loss for words as I check other sites for information on Brodie Fisher my boyfriend. It appears he is stirring rumors after being seen leaving a club with some famous model. My stomach sinks. This isn’t the first time in our relationship that the media has delivered false information about Brodie. He’s an NHL star playing for the New York Scavengers. My best friend Luc always warned me about dating a professional hockey player but I didn’t listen. I told him that not every man was a manwhore like him. Now I’m thinking I had things wrong. Too many outlets are reporting on this new budding relationship. He is touching her in several pictures. How am I just getting wind of this now?
“Lili, what is going on? You’re worrying me,” my sister says adamantly through the phone.
“Brodie is all over the internet,” are the only words I get out.
“Yeah, well I mean he’s famous,” she snorts.
“No, Elyna, he’s with another woman,” I say on the verge of a meltdown.
She mutters something under her breath along the lines of shit . “Don’t overreact. Maybe there’s been a misunderstanding.”
“Maybe,” I agree. “I need to go. Give Braden a kiss for me.”
“Okay, keep me updated,” she insists.
“Speak soon,” I end the call before my sister can say goodbye. How could Brodie do this to me? It’s humiliating. We spoke about our relationship so many times we agreed that if either of us didn’t want to be committed anymore we would inform the other and end things. I didn’t get to see Brodie often, but we had planned our future together. A future I had planned out perfectly with a nice house and a white picket fence. Brodie was going to retire by age thirty and we would have our own nice little family.
I’m scrolling through all the articles when I see a picture of Brodie kissing her. The blood turns hot in my veins. That asshole. Hot tears sting my eyes.
I’m sitting on my couch crying for what must be an hour when my phone pings with a message.
Luc: Are you okay?
My best friend answers my text, finally. Luc and I grew up together. We came to Riverside U together but he’s a hockey player with a busy athletic schedule and a side hustle of girls fawning over him. I’m a quiet psych major who mostly does her homework and keeps a low profile. We couldn’t be more different but we grew up as neighbors. We were there for each other through dark times so even though we don’t see each other often we have the kind of friendship that lasts through time even if we both don’t make the effort we should on our friendship.
Me: Not really.
Luc: Where are you? I’m coming to you.
Gah. This is embarrassing. He’s going to tell me how he warned me against dating a guy like Brodie.
Me: I’m home. You don’t need to come. I’ll be fine. It’s just the cheating that stings and the fact that Brodie said he loved me and wanted to start a family with me after I graduated.
I was na?ve to think that a handsome man like Brodie would set aside his wild ways to be with a simple small town girl like me.
I head to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. My head is spinning. Was Brodie going to call me and tell me it’s over? Was he just going to act like I never existed and move on without informing me we were over? Or was he banking on the media sending me the message that our relationship was over?
I make myself a cup of chamomile tea and take a seat at my kitchen table. Since I am a glutton for punishment I continue to scroll through his Instagram page.
What were you thinking Lili? A feeling deep down in my belly tells me exactly what I was thinking. Brodie was safe. He promised me the family I always wanted. But did I love him? There was no fire between us but I assumed that burning need for someone isn’t something that existed in real life. That kind of passion only happened in books.
There’s a knock on my front door and I shout to my roommates that I will get it. I head to the door knowing I look like shit with my dark hair in a messy bun on my head, and my eyes rimmed red.
I open the door to Luc, his hair has the I just had really good sex look . Although in Luc’s case maybe he did really just have good sex. His dark eyes are filled with so much emotion that it hits me in the center of my chest.
“Honey bee,” he says calling me by a nickname he uses for me in private. He takes a step into the house and wraps his arms around me. I fold into him like a safe blanket. Luc is six foot four to my five foot six but he feels like home, in his arms I feel protected.
“Please don’t say I told you so,” I say to him as tears fall from my eyes.
“I won’t, but I want to fucking kill him,” he barks.
That makes me laugh through my tears. I pull away from him and swipe at the tears. He kicks off his slides. “You smell good. Did you just shower?”
“Yeah, I just came from the hockey house. That place is getting to be too much. All my friends are in love or at least on the way to it,” he complains.
“Now I’m starting to understand your aversion to love,” I say and Luc winces.
“Don’t become a pessimist, you’re too sweet,” he says.
I smile at him. “Come in. I just made some tea.”
“I don’t drink tea,” he says as if I didn’t know.
“I can make you instant coffee if you like,” I offer.
“Okay but only if you have creamer,” he says.
“I do.” We head to the kitchen, and I take a mug to make him coffee just the way he likes.
“Did he call you to apologize? Is he groveling? You better not take him back,” he warns.
“He hasn’t called,” I say, and those words sting because I wasn’t important enough to Brodie for him to inform me of the end of our two-year relationship.
“You deserve better than a guy like him Lili. You deserve the best,” he says, and he makes my heart dance. Luc is the sweetest guy I know and probably the most handsome, but he also doesn’t believe in love and has never been in a relationship.
“Don’t flatter me. I wasn’t pretty enough or good enough to hold Brodie’s attention after all the promises he made,” I say feeling low.
“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Don’t talk about yourself that way,” he says.
“Enough about me. How has your weekend been?” I ask taking a cleansing breath. I need to stop thinking about Brodie’s betrayal.
“We had a game out of town Friday night. Got back last night. It’s been weird having all these girls living with us. My friends are just so happy. . .” His face morphs into disgust.
I laugh out loud. “You have to see your face right now.” I slide his coffee to him from across the counter. “They’re in love Luc. Although I think you’ve brought me over to the dark side. I don’t think love exists.”
“My friends will tell you different. One of my friend’s girls was just complaining about all the banging headboards we have in the house at night,” he says.
“As in all of them are having sex all night?” I ask intrigued.
He nods. “They can’t seem to keep their hands to themselves.”
“I wouldn’t know what that feels like. Brodie and I weren’t like that,” I say to him. Brodie came into town once a month. It was the best he could do on his crazy schedule. Last summer he took me to Italy for two weeks. Italy was beautiful and romantic, but I didn’t feel a rabid hunger for Brodie.
“What do you mean?” Luc asks. “You were with the guy for two years.”
“I don’t know. We didn’t have some crazy sexual attraction. The sex was okay,” I shrug. My best friend and I never discuss sex. It was a topic that is always off limits. Our friendship has always been platonic. The summer Luc’s mom died in a car crash was the same summer my dad left. Luc was devastated and I had felt abandoned. We were only twelve years old, but Luc snuck through my bedroom window every night and we had a sleep over. Having each other eased the loneliness. He would always sneak out in the morning before my mom woke up and it was something we did for years. Coming to Riverside U put a distance between us but it didn’t take away the closeness we shared.
My best friend looks uneasy from my comment. He was leaning over the counter cupping the mug and he straightens out and walks the mug over to the kitchen table. He takes a seat.
“What are you saying Lili?” he asks then he sips from his mug.
“Nothing. Just that the sex wasn’t something to write home about. We never knocked any headboards into walls.”
He winces at my words and pins his eyes shut like he is in physical pain. “Are you saying that you never orgasmed with the asshole?”
He knows Brodie was my first. I met Brodie in my first year here at Riverside. Brodie was visiting the arena since he’s an alumnus here. I was visiting Luc, and we hit it off. Brodie asked me out which was a big deal because he’s famous. I didn’t care about his fame. I liked how down to earth he was. He fooled me into believing he was an honorable man.
“Do you really want me answering that question?” I ask in return.
“I asked,” he deadpans.
“But we don’t talk about sex and orgasms,” I bring to his attention. He shifts and clears his throat mumbling something I don’t quite understand.
“You brought it up so spit it out. You want to tell me you were dating a guy for two years who didn’t make you come?” he asks flabbergasted.
“I faked it,” I scrunch my nose and feel my cheeks flush.
“Ouch, that’s bad, Lili. Like real bad. The guy couldn’t hit it home. Why did you stay with him for so long?” he asks which is fair.
“It was comfortable. He wasn’t demanding. He has a busy schedule and I have a busy schedule. We worked and you know he was my first. I don’t know anything different from what I experienced with him.”
“Jeez,” Luc pinches the bridge of his nose. “I guess it’s for the best. The guy was a douche and now you get to go out and experience real dick.”
“OMG, I can’t believe you just said that,” I chide.
“I can’t believe you’re blushing,” he counters. “You’re twenty-one years old for crying out loud.”
“I know how old I am Luc. I just thought I was going to finally get my family. Settle down with Brodie and have kids,” I sniffle.
“Come here,” Luc says. He motions me over and sit in his lap. I take in his fresh scent. I place my arms around his neck and bury my face in the crevice of his neck and shoulders. I inhale everything that is Luc. He’s my safety net. My home.
He rubs my back. “You’re going to be just fine Honey Bee.”
“I’m broken Luc. There’s nothing fine about what happened. Brodie didn’t even have the decency to see me and tell me to my face that we are over,” I state, and I pull my head up and look into his dark eyes.
“Because the guy is a coward. I warned you from day one,” he says.
“I thought you weren’t going to say I told you so,” I remind.
He winces. “Sorry. I could clock the guy. Just wait until I make it to the NHL. I’ll get him back one day.”
His comment makes me laugh. “That’s completely unnecessary. I know it’s for the best. Imagine I did marry him, and he left me with kids. I’d be just like my mom,” I blow out a breath. “That scares the shit out of me.”
“There’s someone out there that’s perfect for you. That will love you the way you deserve to be loved. That will be there for you through thick and thin and not take off,” he assures.
“I don’t know how you can be so sure when you’re so against relationships. You’ve never even been in love. Hell do you even know what love is?” I ask and instantly regret it.
“That’s unfair. I loved my mom, and I love you.”
“I love you too, but that’s a friendship love. Not a I want to tear your clothes off and make love to you all day and night kind of love,” I state.
Luc shifts and I stand because he seems antsy suddenly. He walks over to the kitchen sink and places his empty mug inside.
“You know my head is messed up Lili but that doesn’t mean every guy out there is. I see how dedicated my friends are to the woman in their life. How hard they’ve fallen. Before Finn fell for Charlie, I didn’t think that kind of thing existed. Now I see that it does.”
“It’s just not for you,” I confirm which is silly because Luc doesn’t see me in that way.
“Exactly,” he confirms. He looks at his phone clearly checking the time. “I should go Honey Bee. If you need me any time of day or night just call, text whatever.”
“You have a bootie call to attend to?” I laugh.
“Nah, I’m heading back to the hockey house. I need to sleep early. Got an early morning practice and I want to be on my A game.”
“Okay thanks for coming,” I say. “You don’t need to worry about me. My ego is more hurt than my heart.”
“I know but I still wanted to come and check on your ego. Tell you that you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” his statement sending my heart soaring in the clouds. When I was younger I crushed on Luc hard. Hell, I pictured us getting married and having kids but with the years I learned that Luc was never going to settle down. Life had been bitter to him and he wasn’t buying into a life with a wife and white picket fence.
I burst into laughter. “When did you start lying to me?”
He palms his chest. “I’m offended Honey Bee. It wasn’t a lie. You’ve always been the prettiest girl.”
I sigh and blush. I don’t know what to think sometimes Luc and I share moments. Moments where things feel very confusing. This is one of them. A fraction of a second when the lines of our friendship blur. But the moments pass faster than two blinks of my eyes and then we are back to normal.
“Have a good night. Call if you need anything,” he gives me half a hug and he’s out the door. Why is it that he is so perfect yet so far away?