4. Ethan
Chapter 4
Ethan
I don’t know how I managed to keep my cool.
If Lily had plowed into my auto shop just a little earlier, she would have smashed me to pieces, as well as the Ferrari she’d practically annihilated. Ava had been here, too. And Susie.
At first, I couldn't help but think about Marie. The crash. How it had ended everything. But this crash—it was odd. It felt . . . different. Like a beginning, somehow. The way Lily had climbed out of that car, blinking like a newborn, that damn wedding dress, ripped to tatters. Lily reminded me of a Phoenix rising from the ashes. Except there were no flames to cause ashes, thank god. And somehow, miraculously, Lily didn't seem too badly hurt.
Obviously, I wasn't thrilled about the damage. That was the understatement of the century.
There was no way I could have shouted at the poor girl, though. She looked shell-shocked. As I led her into the cramped office at the back of my garage, she stumbled slightly, her eyes glazed over. I knew that look all too well. Adrenaline was coursing through her body right now, keeping her going, not really letting her feel what was happening to her. I’d been there.
“Here, have a seat,” I said, guiding her into a worn leather chair. She sank into it gratefully.
“Is this your man cave?” She tried a strained smile.
I snorted. “This is where I do my taxes.”
“What about that gnarly-looking record player?”
My eyes darted to the old thing. Lily was right, it did look gnarly. It was a Denon DP-45F with deep walnut wood veneer and super-clicky brush chrome buttons. A relic from the 80s. “You like it?”
“It’s so ugly that it’s pretty. If that makes sense.”
“Like those freaky porcelain dogs in your bookstore?”
“You noticed my spaniels?” Her eyebrows shot up, a hint of her usual spark returning.
“Hard to miss the damn things. I’m all for vintage stuff—I’m practically an antique myself—but some things should be consigned to history.”
“Careful,” she warned playfully, “or I’ll set them on you next time you come to my store for coffee. They’re extremely aggressive guard dogs.” She paused. “Vlad hated them.”
“Well, I guess he wasn’t all bad.” I grabbed a clean glass and filled it with cool water, pressing it into her shaking hands. “Drink this. It’ll help.”
As she sipped the water, I let my eyes roam over her, checking for injuries. I did my best not to notice the shape of her. It wasn’t easy, especially in that dress. A funny choice for a wedding dress—very gothic, not to mention revealing.
Eyes up, McCoy, eyes up.
Trouble was, her face was even more dangerous.
Lily had a ferocious beauty to her. Wild, but delicate at the same time. Rose-petal pink lips shaped like bows. Pale skin, flirtatious freckles, and eyes such a clear, pale blue they almost looked unreal.
Her hair, for some reason, did a total number on me. Long, wavy, red. Whenever I saw her, I got this ridiculous urge to run my hands through that hair. I literally couldn’t stop thinking about how good it would feel to twist my fingers into the gold-fire-colored mass, to pull her in close and breathe in deep.
This morning, Ava had teased me about having a crush on Lily. The thing was, she was kind of right. I’d always assumed it was because Lily had been so kind to me in the past, and my screwed-up brain had confused gratitude with attraction, or grief with lust, but there was definitely something there. I could feel it now, crackling between us. Which, of course, meant that I did absolutely everything in my power to push it away and seal it up inside a box labeled, “Don’t even think about it, buddy.”
“Everything okay, Ethan?” She looked up at me with innocent blue eyes, and I ground my teeth so hard I worried about cracks.
“Yep. Just . . . checking you over.”
Checking you out.
“Never seen a runaway bride before?”
“Can’t say that I have.”
Just then, I noticed a small cut at her right temple. Not terribly deep, but slightly swollen nonetheless. Her hair must have hidden it up until now. “Your head hurt at all?”
“Nope. Not even a little. In fact, now that you mention it, I feel kind of amazing.” She smiled dreamily up at me. “Like, considering I just crashed into your shop, I feel really, really good. Despite the whole fiancé cheating on me issue.” Lily spoke so quickly, that it sounded as though her words were running into each other. “You know, in a lot of ways, this is one of the very best days of my life. Yup. When I’m an old lady, and my great-grandkids—who will probably be robots by then—say to me, ‘Grandma Lily, what was the best moment of your life?’ I’ll reply, ‘Well, Child-Bot, it would probably have to be the day my world totally fell apart.’”
I frowned, unease prickling along my spine. “Lily,” I said, crouching down to her eye level. “You’ve been through a trauma. It’s normal to feel a bit . . . off. I think we should get you checked out by a doctor, just to be safe.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Ethan. What am I going to do? I’ve ruined everything. And now I owe you a bazillion dollars for trashing your car and ruining your garage.” Her eyes widened as reality seemed to sink in. “My business is screwed. I’ve got no money left.”
My heart clenched at the despair in her voice. I felt an overwhelming impulse to pull her into my arms, to comfort her, and tell her everything would be all right. But I held back.
“Don’t worry, Lily. We’ll work it out. I can fix up my Ferrari. Lucky it’s mine and not a client’s.”
“Oh, it’s a Ferrari. I crashed into a Ferrari. I crashed a vintage Chevrolet into a priceless Ferrari.” She put her head in her hands. “I have to pay you back, Ethan.”
I sighed. “Listen, I’ve got a small shower in the bathroom. Why don’t you go clean up? Take a minute. I’ll assess the damage to the vehicles in the meantime. I bet it’s nowhere near as bad as it seems.”
Lily glanced down at her ruined wedding dress. She nodded slowly. “That would be great, actually. I feel all . . . powdery.”
“I can lend you some overalls. Not as glamorous as that dress, but practical.”
“I look like a disaster.”
“You look beautiful,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Heat rushed to my cheeks as Lily’s eyes widened in surprise. “I mean, you know, considering everything you’ve been through . . . I just mean, don’t worry about the way you look. I could care less about it. About the way I look, I mean. Not you. I don’t care how either of us look.” Smooth, McCoy. Real smooth.
A small smile played at the corners of her mouth. “Thank you, Ethan.”
I ducked my head, embarrassed by my outburst. “It’s no problem. Come on, I’ll show you to the bathroom.”
The restroom wasn’t much, but it was clean and functional. My work at the garage got pretty messy at times, and I often showered before I went to pick up Lily from school. Didn’t want the teachers thinking I was a garage goblin.
I handed her a fresh towel and a spare set of overalls. “These will be big on you, but they’re clean, at least.”
Lily took the items gratefully. “Thank you. I won’t be long.”
I nodded, stepping back out into the shop. As I heard the distant rush of the shower, I leaned against the wall, letting out a long breath. What was happening to me?
I just called the poor woman beautiful. Practically drooled on her in her hour of need. What an asshole.
I shook my head, then turned my attention to the Ferrari. I circled the car, my heart sinking with each new dent and scratch I discovered. The front end was crumpled, the windshield a spiderweb of cracks. The once straight white lines were now so wonky they may as well have spelled out the words “Scrap heap.” This was going to be one hell of a repair job. And Disney World was almost definitely going to have to wait another year.
Luckily, even though Lily might not be insured, I sure as hell was.
As I took a fingernail to one of the deeper scratches on the car’s side, something on the other car caught my eye.
When I’d restored that black Chevy, the brakes hadn’t looked nearly that worn.
I leaned down for a closer look. There were deep grooves and cracks on the surface of the brake rotors. To confirm my fears, I walked around the car and looked at the opposing brake. It was cracked even more deeply than the first.
“Holy fuck.”
That idiot. He must have replaced the brake calipers. He’d gone and bought some super-fancy, high-performance system that was completely incompatible with this old car. Not only that, but he hadn’t gotten them installed correctly. They were so badly aligned that every time he’d braked, he had done permanent damage to the system.
Of course Lily hadn’t been able to control the car—it was a miracle that she’d managed to reduce her speed at all. Any animosity I might have had toward Lily for crashing into my shop evaporated.
I was just reaching for my wrench to get a closer look at the rotors when a blood-curdling scream ripped through the air. My heart leaped into my throat. I dropped the tool with a clang and sprinted toward the bathroom. A million terrible scenarios raced through my mind—had she slipped and fallen? Had she found another injury from the crash?
“Lily?” I called.
The scream sounded out again.
Not willing to wait another second, I burst open the door, ready for anything. But nothing could have prepared me for the sight that greeted me.
The shower was running, but Lily was out of it, naked, with water dripping down her perfect breasts and flat stomach, her red hair clinging in dark coils around her shoulders. In her hands was the wedding dress, mostly now ripped to shreds.
Frozen on the spot, she looked at me.
For a moment, I could only stare, my brain struggling to process the sight. Then, with a jolt, I snapped out of it and turned around, averting my eyes. “Shit, Lily, I’m sorry. I heard you scream and thought you were hurt.” I grabbed a towel from the hook on the back of the door, and—without looking—I passed it back to Lily.
“Oh god. It’s my fault. I don’t know what came over me.” I heard her wrapping herself in the towel and tried not to think about her amazing body, now forever imprinted in my mind.
“Don’t apologize. It’s been an overwhelming day.”
“I hate that dress, Ethan. I can’t stress enough to you how much I hate it.”
“You know, I’m getting that.”
“You can look, I’m covered up.”
She was, but it didn’t help much. She looked just as good in that towel as she did out of it. Seeing her wet hair and her face without make-up or glasses, felt so intimate, like I was trespassing on her life.
“I’ll clean this up. I’ve never torn up a wedding dress before. It’s actually quite messy.”
I laughed, trying to ease the tension. “Don’t worry about it, Lily. Any of it.”
“Not only do I owe you money, I owe you for being so understanding.”
“Hey, don’t sweat it. I’ve got an eight-year-old, I’m a pro at clearing up messes.”
Lily’s face flushed with sadness. “Yep. I’m basically a kid. That’s why I’m in this mess. I believed in fairy tales. Or at least, I used to.”
“We all have our own ways of getting through life. And it’s okay for those ways to change.”
“What’s your way of getting through life?”
I pursed my lips. “Grin and bear it?”
“Romantic.”
“I’m about as romantic as a dead fish.” My eyes inadvertently wandered down to the bare skin of her shoulders. I’d never been this close to her before and was spellbound by all the beautiful freckles marking her shoulders, her neck, and her chest. I forced my eyes away, trying not to think about all the other places she might have freckles, too.
“Everyone’s at least a little bit romantic.”
“Not me I’m afraid.”
Her eyes were rimmed with red. She looked down, unable to meet my gaze.
“Hey,” I said. “Just because things didn’t work out with Vlad, doesn’t mean you have to give up on your dreams. Understand?”
She shrugged.
“You know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think you’re gonna get dressed in my overalls, and you’re gonna think to yourself, ‘Wow, this feels way more comfortable than a wedding dress.’ Then I’m gonna call Elara and have her come and pick you up. You’re gonna talk to your friend. You’re gonna maybe visit the ER. And for a while, you’re probably gonna feel a little confused. Even though you might feel like you hate Vlad, you’re gonna fucking miss him because we don’t have any control over our damn brains.”
She stared at me with those incredible eyes. I hated that I was jealous of Vlad. If I had someone like Lily, I’d never let her go.
“But tomorrow, or maybe the day after, you’ll wake up, and you’ll feel better. It will be that deep feeling of relief that you get after a storm. Because trust me, you have just come out of a storm. And you fucking survived.”
There it was. An actual smile. “You a fortune teller?”
I chuckled. “No. Just been through enough sadness to know how it works. Oh, by the way, Vlad tampered with the car.”
“Tampered with it?”
“Yep. Brake rotors are pitted and cracked. He switched the stock brake calipers for some high-performance crap that shredded the rotors to pieces.”
She looked at me blankly.
“In less technical language, he fucked the brakes to try to go faster.”
With a nod, she said, “He fucked everything to try to go faster. Everyone.”
“What I’m saying is that the crash wasn’t your fault. Now, do you have Elara’s number? I need to make sure that my prophesy comes true.”
She read it out aloud and I tapped it into my phone, then handed her the overalls. As she took them, I paused.
“One condition.”
“What’s that?”
“Promise me you won’t rip these. They’re my favorite pair.”
“I solemnly swear not to shred your overalls.” Lily held up two fingers to swear, and as she did, the towel under her shoulders suddenly shifted down.
I didn’t even think, I just shot a hand forward to catch the towel, before tugging it up to cover her modesty. As I did, my fingertips caught the soft skin over her clavicle.
One touch. And it sent my body into overdrive.
“Jesus,” I grunted. “Sorry.”
“I’m not trying to get you to look at me naked, I promise.”
There was a beat, and then I cleared my throat, averting my eyes. “Don’t worry about it. These things happen. No harm done.” To my shame, I felt arousal, my cock stirring in my pants like a guilty snake. “I . . . I’ll go make that call.”
“You do that.”
But as I left Lily to change into my clothes, I couldn’t get her out of my head. Her body. Her breasts. The softness of her skin.
When she finally came out of the bathroom, dressed in my favorite navy blue overalls, I took in the sight of her with a surprised smile. The overalls completely hid all of those delicious curves etched into my brain—and yet, somehow, she looked even more gorgeous in it than she had in that wedding dress.
Clearly, there was something wrong with me. I was horny as a teenager, probably in shock from the crash as well. I made her a cup of coffee and tried to busy myself with other things while we waited for Elara and Cole to arrive. And when she left half an hour later—heading straight to the ER to get checked out—I breathed a sigh of relief. Lily was safe, and with her friends, and not marrying Vlad.
Sure, she had left a giant wreckage in my garage, and I was going to have to deal with that. But at least I wasn’t dealing with a giant wreckage in my heart like she was. And I was going to make damn sure I never had to deal with one of those ever again.