6. Ethan
Chapter 6
Ethan
E ven after more than twenty years since I graduated, the familiar scent of the elementary school remained unchanged.
As I inhaled that distinctive blend of cafeteria food and craft supplies, a wave of nostalgia hit me. For a moment, I felt like a child once more, summoned to the principal’s office for mischief. But this time, it was my eight-year-old daughter being called in for disruptive behavior.
I looked down at Ava, sitting in the hard plastic chair beside me, her legs swinging as she stared at the floor. Her black bob fell across her face, hiding her expression.
I squeezed her hand. “You okay, hon?”
“I guess.”
“We’ll be fine,” I reassured her. “Probably just a misunderstanding.”
Ava hadn’t ever been called in like this before. I knew she was a bit slow with her work compared to some of the other kids, but she’d never acted out.
The door swung open, and Ms. Vaughn, the principal, gestured for us to enter. “Mr. McCoy, thank you for coming.”
I took Ava’s hand and led her into the room, where Ms. Vaughn had already settled behind her desk, clasping her hands.
I knew Caroline Vaughn pretty well. We had been classmates at this very school. She was always well-behaved—a bit of a teacher’s pet, to be honest.
“Come on, Caroline, you can call me Ethan.”
She wrinkled her soft brown eyes into a smile. “Of course, Ethan. It’s good to see you.” She looked down at my little girl, before adding, “And it’s lovely to see you, too, Ava.”
Ava didn’t reply, her face set in a stubborn frown that was all too familiar. Like father, like daughter.
“I’ve called you in today because I want to discuss some concerns we have about Ava’s recent behavior in class.”
My brow furrowed. “What kind of concerns?”
“Well, Miss Brown has said that Ava’s been struggling with concentration. That she’s been distracting other students during class.”
I glanced over at Ava, who was sinking lower in her seat, avoiding my gaze.
Caroline continued. “And also, we haven’t received any written homework from Ava in a few weeks. This is really out of character for her.”
Huh. Ava always did the assignments that came home from school. I made sure of it.
“I don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head. “Ava does her homework every night.”
“You’ve been doing the work, Ava?” Caroline asked gently.
Ava pursed her lips and then nodded.
“So, why haven’t you handed it in?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Ava mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Why not, sweetheart?”
Ava looked up at me, on the verge of tears.
“You’re not in trouble,” I assured her. “Ms. Vaughn and I just want to help.”
“I put it in the recycling,” Ava blurted out, her voice quivering. “I didn’t litter.”
“Darling—”
“I don’t want to make any mistakes,” she interrupted me in a quiet voice that damn near broke my heart.
“You’d rather turn in nothing than make a mistake?”
“I’m dumb. I’m too dumb to learn anything.” Tears sprung to her eyes as sobs wracked her small frame.
My heart cracked in my chest. I reached over and took her hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. She’d grown up so much, but she was still so small.
“I’m so sorry about this,” I said to Caroline, trying to keep my voice steady. “I had no idea Ava was struggling. I promise I’ll work with her at home to get to the bottom of it. We’ll get through this.”
Ms. Vaughn nodded understandingly. “Thank you, Ethan. I appreciate your support. Ava, we’re here to help you, and I know you can do this. Let’s take it one step at a time, okay? You know that mistakes are how we learn, don’t you? Maybe it’s time for another assembly on that topic.”
Ava nodded. “I’ll try harder. I’ll make sure to hand in my work next time.”
Ms. Vaughn smiled. “That’s great.” She paused, her expression clouding slightly. “Because if you don’t, and we can’t grade you, there will be consequences.”
Consequences . Damn that word. Ava’s whole life had been one long series of consequences, ever since her mom had died.
I had to make things right again. To stop those consequences in their tracks. But without a nanny, and without that Disney World trip, how could I help her heal?
***
As we drove away from the school, I glanced into the rearview mirror at Ava’s hunched-over form.
“McDonald’s Drive-Thru?” I asked her.
She shook her head. “Uncle Cole says McDonald’s wants to rip the heart out of Bluehaven Beach’s Main Street.”
I chuckled. “Auntie Ida’s diner then?”
“Okay,” Ava sighed.
“I’m going to tell Auntie Ida to put in two big beef patties and a ton of special sauce, like in a Big Mac,” I joked. “I’m in the mood for the kind of food that wants to rip my heart out.”
Ava didn’t laugh at my bad joke. She almost always laughed at my bad jokes.
“Ava, honey,” I said, my voice soft, “I meant what I said. You’re not in trouble. We’re a team, remember? You can talk to me.”
“I don’t want to talk,” she mumbled. “I never make sense.”
“You don’t have to make sense,” I assured her. “Just talk. Doesn’t matter if it’s nonsense. Then, I’ll help you make sense of it. That’s my job as your dad.”
She nodded.
“Can you tell me why you felt you needed to throw away your schoolwork?”
“I recycled it,” she corrected, a hint of her usual sass peeking through.
“Right, sorry.”
She took a deep breath. “Promise you won’t be mad.”
“I promise.”
“I . . . I just feel so stupid, Daddy,” she whispered. “Everyone else gets things so fast, and I’m always last. Even when I check my work over and over again, I still make more mistakes than anyone else.”
My heart sank into my stomach. How could I not have noticed my baby girl was struggling like this? Some father I was.
Quickly checking my mirrors, I pulled over on the bluff overlooking the ocean. The evening light bathed the cream interior of my ‘66 Thunderbird in a warm glow. I unstrapped my seatbelt and slid into the back seat next to Ava, gathering her close as she cried into my chest.
“Oh, darling. I’m so sorry. You’re not on your own, okay? I’m right here with you. And if Miss Brown’s not supporting you enough in class, we can get you some extra help. Plus, you’ll have a different teacher after summer break—”
“I don’t want a new teacher,” Ava said, sobbing harder. “I hate it when things change. When you get to know someone and then you have to say goodbye.”
Oh, shit. Was that what this was about? Fear of losing someone close to her?
“I get it.” I gently cupped her face, brushing away tears with my thumb. “I know how scary it is to think about losing people you care about. But I promise, Ava, I will always be here for you. No matter what happens, I will never, ever leave you. You’re stuck with me, kid. And my terrible jokes.”
That got a giggle out of her, and she hugged me tighter. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too, baby girl. More than anything in this world.”
As I held her, my mind wandered to our ongoing childcare struggles. Elara had been working on a rotating schedule of babysitters and family members, jokingly dubbing it the “Avengers of Childcare” initiative. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t the right solution for Ava. What my little girl needed was consistency—one dedicated caregiver who’d always be there for her. Someone to provide stability and emotional support.
With a heavy heart, I made the decision to put my firefighting aspirations on hold. Ava’s needs had to come first. I had to be there for her.
I pulled back from our embrace. “Now, are you ready to go and eat your body weight in burgers?”
She giggled again. It was the best sound in the world. “Actually, Dad, I think I’d just like to go home. We could get pizzas and watch Minecraft videos on YouTube.”
I nodded. “I can deal with that. As long as we get peppanpine.”
Ava grinned. “But of course.”
Ava had invented the name after trying out a combination of toppings that blew our minds. Pepperoni, jalapenos, and pineapple. Now, whenever we ordered pizza, I had to deadpan “I’d like to order a peppanpine, please,” as though it was a household name. Always embarrassing for me. Always hilarious for her.
We drove back home, in much better spirits now. But when we pulled up to our driveway, Lily was waiting on the porch.
She was wearing a long yellow sundress, and clutching a big notebook and pen in her slender fingers.
I hoped my cheeks weren’t burning as I remembered each and every curve of her naked body. “Lily. Good to see you.”
Good to have seen you. Naked.
“Hi Ethan, hi Ava.” Lily held out her hand for a high-five.
Ava prodded it shyly.
“I wasn’t expecting you here,” I said, trying to keep the edge out of my voice.
“I know, I’m sorry if it’s inconvenient,” Lily replied, her cheeks flushing.
“We’re about to order a peppanpine,” said Ava solemnly.
“A what?”
“Pizza,” I grunted, trying to ignore how beautiful Lily looked. Her fiery red hair cascaded over her shoulders, and her sapphire eyes sparkled behind those adorably nerdy tortoiseshell glasses. The yellow sundress she wore hugged her curves in all the right places, making my pulse race and my mouth go dry.
“I won’t be here for long. I was just hoping to have a quick chat.”
“I can watch TV, if I must,” Ava said, innocent as an ice cream sundae with extra chocolate sprinkles.
“Twenty minutes, max,” I said.
Ava punched the air and skipped inside. It felt good to lift her out of her funk, even if the medicine had to be junk food and Gabby’s Dollhouse .
“How are you doing?” I asked. “Feeling better?”
“Oh, you know,” she said with a forced smile. “Not better exactly. Worse, I guess!” She said it with exaggerated enthusiasm, as though being worse was the best possible outcome.
“Sorry to hear that. And sorry I didn’t call to check up on you. I’ve been busy with Ava.”
She flashed me a smile so gorgeous my breath caught. In this light, her pale skin practically glowed, making her look like an angel. A sexy angel. The kind of angel you’d definitely be damned for fantasizing about.
I shook my head, trying to push the blasphemous thoughts away and focus on not seeming like an aroused degenerate.
“Actually, Ethan, that’s exactly what I’m here to talk to you about. Ava.”
I raised an eyebrow. Was Ava in trouble for something else now?
Lily tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, her cheeks flushing an adorable shade of pink. “I know this might seem a bit out of the blue, but I’ve been thinking about the damage to your car, and how I can make it right.”
“Lily, I told you—”
“I did some research into the Ferrari Spyder, and I know that the work is going to cost you . . . a lot.”
“But with my insurance—”
“At the very least you have to pay a deductible, right? Plus, there’s all the time and hassle and wasted materials you’ll have used fixing up the car in the first place.”
I scratched my head and felt stupid for potentially drawing attention to my graying hair. “Well, there are a few costs,” I told her, “but it’s really not a problem. You lost more than enough on the Chevrolet, no doubt, if you weren’t insured.”
“I’ve come up with a couple of repayment plans,” she continued, her voice trembling. “I’m determined to make amends, no matter what it takes.” She took a deep breath, then opened up her notebook. “There are two options. The first plan involves small monthly payments. Assuming this whole thing has cost you, what, five thousand dollars?”
I gritted my teeth. It was more like ten with the high-end vehicle premium, the time spent on the car, and the parts I’d already put into it. In any case, I nodded. “Ballpark.”
She smiled nervously. “Okay, well, that would be eight and a half years for a full repayment. Unless you want to take interest into account, which is fair enough—”
“Look, I appreciate how committed you are to paying me back, but it’s really not necessary.”
“I don’t like to be in debt to people.”
“So, what’s the second plan?” I prompted, my heart rate inexplicably accelerating.
“Well. Elara mentioned that you were looking for a live-in nanny for Ava.”
My eyes widened. “Do you have nanny experience?”
“Well . . . no. But I love kids.”
“What about your store?”
“El said that you need someone for the evenings. I can drop Ava off in the morning at school, go to work, pick her up at the end of the day, and then stay with you at night.”
“You’ll be exhausted.”
“I owe you lots of money.”
“Lily, listen, I don’t need you to pay this back.”
She paused for a moment, sighed deeply, and then looked straight at me. “This might be hard to understand,” she said, wringing her hands together, “but I really need this right now. I need to keep myself distracted. Do something different. I don’t know how I feel about the bookstore anymore.”
“I get that. It’s just not so straightforward.” I looked back over my shoulder. “Ava’s going through some stuff right now. She needs stability. I’m not saying that you would just change your mind about it—”
“Good, because I wouldn’t. There’s no way. I know what it’s like to be let down.”
“Sure, but even with the best will in the world, things happen and plans change.”
To my surprise, she put her hands on her hips in defiance. “Well, that’s true of anyone. You could get the most committed nanny in the world and a piano could fall out of the sky onto her head.”
“Piano? On her head? Jesus.”
“My point is nothing’s a sure thing.”
“You’re not exactly filling me with confidence here.”
“I swear to you I won’t stop being Ava’s nanny until you ask me to.”
There was another problem, of course. A problem that I couldn’t discuss with Lily at all.
I had a massive fucking crush on her. A crush so big it would make a falling piano look like a feather in terms of its destructive power. The thought of having Lily under my roof, sleeping just a few feet away from me, was way too exciting.
It wasn’t like I couldn’t control myself. Of course I could. But the last thing I needed was for Ava to see my drooling over some young woman who was clearly not ever going to be a replacement for her mom.
“Please, Ethan, give me a chance.”
“I don’t know, Lily,” I sighed. “If we’re doing this, then it’ll be on the understanding that you don’t owe me a cent and I’ll be paying you a damn wage.”
“Wait, we’re doing this?”
“If! I said if!”
“Sure! Sure!”
“Can you cook?” I asked.
“I can make coffee.”
“Can you drive?”
She gave me a look. “If I’m not driving a car with badly modified brake calipers, yes, I can drive.”
Fuck. I was going to regret this.
Reluctantly, I nodded. “We’ll try it. On probation.”
“You are not going to regret this!” she said, her eyes widening with pure delight. She threw her arms around me in an impulsive hug, her soft curves pressing against my muscular frame. I inhaled sharply, her intoxicating scent filling my nostrils. Strawberries, ginger, a hint of spice. Then, I felt her grip tighten slightly as she whispered, “Gosh, you’re so much more muscly than Vlad.”
Her breasts squeezed up against my chest as I struggled to do everything—breathe, think, smile—as a normal human being and not a horny teenager.
It’s an innocent hug, Ethan. Nothing more than that. She’s happy that you’re giving her a job. Don’t read more into . . .
She kissed me on the cheek. The entire right-hand side of my body crackled with electricity. My cock throbbed and grew, nudging against her insistently. Shit.
She pulled away from me slightly and our gazes locked.
“Sorry, Ethan,” she said softly. “I got carried away. I just—”
Without thinking, I cupped her face in my calloused hands and crashed my lips against hers in a passionate, hungry kiss.
She let out a soft, sudden yelp of surprise, that changed subtly into a whimper of yielding pleasure.
Fuck.
I hadn’t kissed a woman in years. I’d been missing out on so much.
The taste of her as I gently pushed my tongue between her lips. The smell of her ivory skin. The feel of the fabric of her summer dress, shifting beneath my fingers as my hand traced its way down her slender back.
My other hand did what it had dreamed of doing for so long—it grabbed a tangle of her glossy hair, and I marveled at its silky texture as I pulled her in tighter toward me, pushing my straining cock against her belly.
The lust was overwhelming, and I knew she felt it too, because her hands roamed, just like mine. Over my back. My abs. My ass.
“Daddy?”
Ava’s voice pierced through the haze of desire, shattering the moment like a bucket of ice water. I jerked away from Lily, my heart pounding as I turned to face my daughter, who—thank fuck— hadn’t yet emerged from the house.
Lily and I sprang apart, and she smoothed down her hair as my heart pounded in my chest.
“You okay, Ava?” I asked, my voice breaking.
“Uh-huh. Internet’s out. Gabby’s buffering.”
“Right,” I said, scratching my head. “I’ll come fix it.”
How had I let that happen? Didn’t I have any self-control? There was no way I could let this happen again.
“I think you should go, Lily.”
“Yep,” she said.
“I think what we discussed . . . we better leave it.”
Her face fell, hurt and disappointment flashing across her delicate features. But she nodded, understanding dawning in her eyes. “Of course, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have . . .”
“No, it’s my fault,” I said.
“Daddy, what’s going on?” Ava asked.
“Nothing, sugar. You go inside. I’ll be right in.”
She nodded and headed in.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” I said. “You’re on the rebound. Possibly still slightly concussed.” Why was I saying all this out loud? I cleared my throat. “It’s me who’s in the wrong.”
“It’s okay. I think it was fine.” She bit her lip. “Better than fine.”
I sighed. “Lily, I really think we should leave it. The nanny gig. It’s just . . . I can’t risk it. I have to put Ava’s needs first.”
It was her turn to sigh. “I understand. Well. See you around, Ethan McCoy.”
As she turned and walked away, for just a moment, I imagined how it would feel to let her into my life.
Good. It would feel good. No, it would feel fucking fantastic. And that’s why I couldn’t do it.