25. Lily
Chapter 25
Lily
I should’ve known my fairy tale job was doomed when that damn bird showed up.
It wasn’t just any bird, either. This was a bright blue bird with a black band around its neck. It looked like something from a nature documentary, and it landed right on the windowsill of my office window.
“Lily,” Mary-Beth whispered, “what is it with you and birds?” She’d just stepped through my door to bring me a cappuccino, and now, the two of us were frozen, staring at the feathered creature.
“I’m not letting this one sit on me,” I said. “This isn’t my wedding dress, but I’ll be damned if get bird poop on this thrift-store gem.” It was a vintage ‘70s maxi dress printed with warm orange, brown and yellow sunflowers. The fabric was a little faded, but that just added to the charm. Bird poop, on the other hand, wouldn’t.
I stood up and waved at the creature. To my surprise, it didn’t flinch. It just looked at me with confident, curious eyes.
“It’s not scared of me,” I said.
“Right, because you’re a Disney princess. It wants to picnic with you.”
For a moment, as I looked at the strange, colorful bird, I truly felt as though it was trying to tell me something. Then, with a flutter of its wings, it hopped off the sill and flapped away from the office.
“Ever wish you could fly away from it all?” I asked dreamily.
“Where would you go?” Mary-Beth asked.
Bluehaven Beach.
Ethan’s garage.
His house.
His bed.
“Dunkin’ Donuts,” I said.
“Good news: you don’t actually need wings to get to Dunkin’ Donuts. We can just walk to the end of the block. Let’s go at lunch!”
“Lunch is literally hours away.”
I stared at the clock on the wall, willing the hands to move faster. I swear they slowed down just to spite me. My eyes drifted to the stack of manuscripts on my desk, their pages blurring together into an indecipherable mess. In fact, there had been a lot of indecipherable blurring lately. As an adult, I’d developed a lot of strategies to manage my dyslexia symptoms, but lately, with all the stress I’d been under, the symptoms were back with a vengeance.
Difficulty focusing. Word confusion. Visual stress. Losing my place in the text. Avoidance of reading altogether.
“You not enjoying work today?” asked Mary-Beth.
I sighed. “Do you think I did the right thing in taking this job, MB? Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be here. Like I’m taking up the desk space of someone who wants this way more than me. Like, a true horror fanatic.”
A horror fanatic who can read a sentence without it swirling all over the page.
“You know, I had imposter syndrome when I first joined the company, too.”
“I don’t believe it.”
“Course I did. Everyone does. People put literary agents on a pedestal. We build them up to be these incredibly well-read, hyper-smart tastemakers.”
“Isn’t that what they are?”
She rolled her eyes. “Well, I guess. But I’m also a bozo who just wants to eat pretzels and read trashy romance books.”
“There’s no such thing as a trashy romance book.”
Mary-Beth glanced at her watch. There was a hint of something on her face, but before I had time to work out what she was feeling, it passed. “Say, I’m technically on a break now. Want me to grab you a donut?”
“Oh, you don’t have to!”
“I know, but I can see that you need one. Go on, let me. It’ll give you a chance to get settled, and read a few pages of something completely terrifying. Plus, it’s mainly an excuse for me to eat a donut.”
I could see that Mary-Beth wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I acquiesced.
After she left, I tried to read my manuscripts. I really did. I promise. But for one thing, my brain didn’t seem to want to play ball. And for another, what little I did read was utterly appalling.
The first manuscript on my pile had the following cover letter:
To whom it may concern,
Get ready to be grossed out so badly you puke your pants.
Unsurprisingly, I passed on the novel, and my pants remained un-puked.
As I was about to dig into novel number two, Elara’s name flashed up on my phone, and saved me from what the author had described as a “taut psychological thriller exploring the terrifying consequences when a child discovers her teddy bear is possessed by an ancient, malevolent, devil dog hellbent on revenge.”
“El! I’m so glad to hear from you!”
“Lily!” Elara’s voice was tight, strained. “I’ve got some news for you!” I could hear traffic in the background. Where was she? Was everything all right?
My stomach clenched. “What’s up? Is the baby okay?”
“The baby’s fine,” she assured me quickly. “All totally normal on that front, although, let me tell you, the third trimester is a bit of a buzzkill.”
“You’re not a sex machine anymore?”
“More like a wetting myself every time I sneeze machine.”
“Damn, I’m sorry. So, what’s up?”
“It’s Vlad. There was a fire in his apartment.”
I sat up straight. “A fire? Is he okay?”
“He’s fine, thanks to a certain trainee firefighter.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Wait? Ethan?”
“He saved Vlad’s life, Lily.”
The world seemed to tilt on its axis. “Ethan . . . saved Vlad?” Instantly, an image of Ethan grumbling about having to save Vlad shot through my head. “He must be furious.”
“You know,” she said, “he actually wasn’t. He was weirdly cheerful about the whole thing. You know he carried Vlad out of the building? And shielded him from flying debris with his own body? It was like something out of a romance novel, except, you know, in the novel, it would be you he’d carry out of the building, not your nemesis.”
“Is Ethan okay?” I managed to choke out.
“He’s fine. He got a cut on his head and needed stitches but nothing serious.”
My heart pounded. “Is he there? Can I speak to him? Is Ava okay?”
“He’s honestly fine, but he’s . . . uh, not in town. Nor’s Ava. They’re away.”
I frowned. “Out of town?”
“Yeah. On a trip.” She definitely sounded suspicious.
Of course, my mind went to the worst place possible. “He’s seeing someone new?”
“No! Nothing like that.”
“Then what?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Probably a vacation. Anyway, I wanted to let you know about the fire and I also wanted to tell you that if he calls or texts, you should answer. Or, like, take him seriously and do as he asks.”
“Do as he asks? What are you talking about?”
“Just . . . wait for him to call you, I think?” There was a sudden, weird noise. Was that a neighing horse? Elara continued, “Okay, right, gotta get back to the baking!”
There was no way I was going to leave it, so I tapped out a message to Ethan.
I know I said I wouldn’t get in touch, but I heard what happened with you and Vlad and wanted to check you’re okay. Elara was weird about it. Are you all right? Sounds scary. I hate Vlad, but I’m glad he’s not dead. I guess :)
I hit send before I could overthink it, then stared at my phone, willing it to buzz with a reply.
One minute passed. Then five. My stomach churned with anxiety. What if he was more injured than Elara thought? What if he didn’t want to hear from me after I’d told him not to contact me?
“Come on, Ethan,” I muttered, tapping my nails against my desk. There was no hope of me being able to focus on the manuscript, regardless of how compelling the idea of a possessed teddy bear was.
Ten minutes crawled by. Still nothing. My heart sank. Why had El gotten my hopes up, with all that talk of Ethan calling me? She was too optimistic for her own good, that girl.
I was about to give up and drown my sorrows in the morning’s five-hundredth coffee when my phone finally buzzed. My heart leaped into my throat as I fumbled to read the message. It was Ethan.
Look out your window.
I blinked, sure I’d misread it. But no, there it was. Four words that made absolutely no sense.
“What the hell?” I muttered, glancing at the window. All I could see was the usual New York skyline. Was this some kind of joke? Or had the smoke inhalation affected Ethan’s brain?
I typed back:
Are you okay? What do you mean?
No response came. I stood up, pacing the small office, my mind racing. What was going on? Elara had said I should listen to Ethan if he called. Is this what she meant?
I rose from my desk and walked to the window, hoping to get a look down at street level. As I peered down at the bustling New York street below, my jaw dropped.
“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” I gasped, pressing my hands against the glass.
There, in the middle of honking taxis and bewildered pedestrians, was a beautiful white horse. On top of the horse, looking gloriously ridiculous in full-on firefighter gear, was someone I could only presume was Ethan. In one hand, he clutched an enormous bouquet of red roses that looked like it could have doubled as a small shrub. In the other, he balanced a massive heart-shaped box of chocolates that threatened to topple him off the horse at any moment.
Ethan. Gruff, sarcastic, unromantic, Ethan. Straddling a white horse. It wasn’t even a move from a romance novel. It was far too much for that. Too over-the-top. If this had been a romantic gesture in a novel, I would have rolled my eyes and said, “Oh come on, that would never happen.”
And yet, it was happening, and it was real. And he was doing it in the middle of New York City.
Without thinking, I ran through to Mary-Beth’s office, which was in the main part of the department, and had a swanky balcony. I went onto the balcony, my heart pounding in my chest. I gripped the railing, feeling the cool metal under her palms, and took a deep breath. The wind tugged at my hair, and I felt a dizzying rush as she looked down.
“What are you doing?” I shouted.
It was clear that Ethan couldn’t hear me.
Ethan took his phone out of his pocket and mine started buzzing.
“Hello?” I answered tentatively.
"Sorry about having to call," he said. "Turns out your office is a little higher up than I thought. And trying to shout over the New York traffic is just . . . Anyway." Ethan’s eyes locked onto mine. Even from this distance, I could see the determination on his face. “I’m here for a rescue,” he said into the receiver.
“A rescue?” I echoed, confusion mingling with the butterflies in my stomach. “Who are you rescuing?”
Ethan’s lips curved into that heart-stopping smile I’d fallen for back in Bluehaven Beach. Or at least, I think they did. It was hard to see from up here. He shifted awkwardly on the horse. “I’m rescuing myself,” he said, his voice softening. “I love you, Lily.”
My heart leaped into my throat, and I gripped the balcony railing even tighter to steady myself.
“Lily,” he said, “I’ve loved you almost since the start. Maybe even from the start. When you crashed into my Ferrari. When you broke my washing machine. When we saw the shooting star together. But I was too damn afraid to admit it. I was terrified of getting hurt again.”
I felt tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. Ethan was laying his heart bare in the middle of New York City. For me.
“But you fixed it. You fixed me. And I’m not afraid anymore,” he declared, his voice growing stronger. “I should have never let you go. You and Ava, you’re everything to me.”
A warm flush spread through my chest. “Ethan,” I whispered.
A crowd of people were gathered around him. Some took photos. Others clapped. Most though, gawped in disbelief.
“Lily, I know I’ve been a skeptic, but you’ve shown me the power of romance. I might not be at the same level as Chad McStudden just yet, but I believe in our happy ever after.” His voice cracked with emotion. “I want you to come back to Bluehaven Beach, back to our home."
"Wait, you want me to live with you again? With you and Ava?"
"Yes," said Ethan without missing a beat. "I want you in my house. And in my damn bed." He paused. "But if New York is where you need to be, I’ll follow you anywhere you want to go.”
My breath caught in my throat. Was this really happening? Part of me wanted to pinch myself, to make sure I wasn’t dreaming up the most romantic moment of my life.
“But . . . your life, the garage, Ava’s school . . .” I stammered, overwhelmed by his declaration.
“We’ll figure it out. Together.”
As if on cue, a familiar voice called out, “You’d better say yes, Lily Lane!”
I peered past Ethan and gasped. There, trailing behind him like some kind of small-town parade, were familiar faces from Bluehaven Beach. Elara, her pregnant belly barely contained by her favorite floral dress, was waving enthusiastically. Next to her, Cole stood with his arms crossed, trying to look gruff but failing to hide a grin.
“Holy strawberry shortcake,” I muttered, spotting Ida McCoy, her chestnut hair whipping in the wind as she held up a sign that read ‘Team Lily & Ethan!’ And bringing up the rear, to my utter disbelief, were Mary-Beth and Marge Statten, who was furiously tapping away on her phone with one hand while clutching a notebook in the other.
“Marge?” I asked, in disbelief.
“Sorry!” I heard Mary-Beth call in the background. “I didn’t go for donuts!”
“Nothing like primary source material, sugar!” Marge called out.
I couldn’t help but laugh, even as my heart threatened to burst with joy. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, what my answer would be. As I opened my mouth to respond, a cheer erupted from the growing crowd of New Yorkers gathering around the scene.
My cheeks flushed, and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. This was all so overwhelming, so perfect, so . . . much. I looked at Ethan, still perched atop his white horse, his eyes filled with love and hope.
“I . . . I need a minute,” I choked out, my voice thick with emotion. “Don’t go anywhere!”
Before Ethan could respond, I spun on my heel and dashed back into the building, my heart pounding in my chest. I raced past my desk, ignoring the curious stares of my coworkers, and burst into my boss’s office without knocking.
“Lily?” Coco looked up, startled. “What on earth—”
“There’s a firefighter outside,” I blurted out, gesturing wildly towards the window. “And he’s asking me to go back to Maine with him, and there’s a crowd, and Marge Statten is there, and I think I’m living in a romance novel!”
Coco’s eyes widened, and then a slow smile spread across her face. “Is this the same firefighter you were telling me about? The one from your hometown?”
I nodded, wiping away a stray tear. “Yes, and I . . . I think I want to go with him. I’m so sorry—I got you to give me this job, and—”
“Lily,” Coco interrupted, her voice gentle but firm. “Do what feels right. There will be more agents, but you’ve only got one life.”
I nodded, my head swimming. I still could barely believe that this was happening.
I waited for the elevator but it was taking too long, so I rushed down the stairs, taking them two at a time. I burst through the lobby doors, the New York summer heat hitting me like a wall. There he was—Ethan, still astride that magnificent white horse.
“Lily!” he called out, his blue eyes lighting up as he saw me.
I ran towards him, my legs wobbly with excitement. “Ethan, I can’t believe you’re here!”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.” As I approached, he got down from the horse, stepping closer to me. He looked hot and sweaty and the gash across his forehead looked a lot worse than El had made out. "Damn," he said, staring at me. "It's so good to see you." He smiled. "You have even more freckles in the summertime."
"Is your head okay?" I asked, wincing at the sight of the gash.
"It's fine," he replied. "Lily, I’m an idiot. I’m sorry I couldn’t admit how I felt. Can you ever forgive me?”
It felt like the whole crowd was watching us, waiting with bated breath.
“Of course I can forgive you,” I said, feeling tears well up in my eyes. “I love you.”
There was a gasp from the onlookers, then silence.
“You still do?”
I nodded, biting my lip.
“So much it hurts. So much I’ve not been able to think of anything except you and Ava since I got to town.”
He put the flowers and chocolates down and took my hands in his.
“Come back with me,” he said. “I’ll do whatever you need to show you that love is real.”
I nodded. “Yes, Ethan, I will. I want to come back to you.”
He pulled me in tight and crushed his lips to mine. As the crowd clapped and hollered, I felt the rest of the world melt away, as I remembered his taste, his smell.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for two months,” he breathed into my ear.
“Me too.”
“Now come on,” he said, “we’ve got a horse to ride.”
“Where did you get the horse?” I asked.
“You can actually rent them,” he said. “Have you ever ridden one before?”
“No,” I giggled, still feeling like I was living some kind of dream.
“What you do,” he said, with a warm smile on his lips, “is you sit on it, and it takes you places.”
“Sounds much safer than a car.”
“And you don’t even need brake calipers on a horse.”
He got up first, then he reached down. I grabbed his hand, but as I tried to hoist myself up, I realized I had no idea how to mount a horse. I scrambled awkwardly, my foot slipping off the stirrup. Ethan grunted, trying to pull me up.
“Geez, Lils,” he chuckled, his face red with exertion. “I thought you were the expert on damsels and white knights and horses and all that.”
“Shut up and pull,” I laughed, finally managing to swing my leg over the horse’s back.
As soon as I was settled, Ethan turned in the saddle and cupped my face in his hands. His lips met mine in a passionate kiss that made me feel like I was melting.
Suddenly, there was a loud, unmistakable sound. The horse had decided to leave its own mark on the moment.
I broke away from the kiss, laughing hard. “Well, at least it wasn’t on my wedding dress this time.”
Ethan’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Excuse me?”
“I’ll tell you later,” I said, pulling him in for another quick kiss. “Let’s get out of here before we get arrested for public indecency and animal control violations.”
Ethan clicked his tongue, and the horse started moving.
“I still can’t believe you did all this,” I shouted over the noise of the city. The crowd followed behind us.
“I would have done whatever it took,” Ethan called back. “I knew I wouldn’t get a second chance.”
As we turned a corner, I spotted two familiar figures waiting on the sidewalk. My heart leaped when I recognized Ava’s mop of black hair and Susie’s happy face.
“You shipped everyone out!” I said, grinning.
“I needed moral support.”
Ava’s eyes widened as we pulled up beside them. She bounced on her toes, her blue eyes sparkling.
“Did she say yes?” Ava blurted out. “Is she giving you another chance?”
I felt my face split into a grin so wide it almost hurt. “I said yes,” I confirmed, my voice thick with emotion.
Before I knew it, Cole was helping me down from the horse, and we were all tangled in a group hug. Ava’s arms wrapped tightly around my waist, her face pressed against my stomach. I smoothed her dark hair, marveling at how right this felt.
“Does this mean you’re coming back to Bluehaven Beach?” Ava asked, her voice muffled against my shirt.
“You bet,” I replied, catching Ethan’s eye over her head. “If that’s okay with everyone?”
As we stood there on the busy New York sidewalk, surrounded by honking horns and curious onlookers, I felt a sense of belonging I’d been missing for far too long. This was my family now—Ethan, Ava, and me.
“It won’t always be like this, I’m afraid,” Ethan whispered in my ear. “Sometimes, we’re gonna have to do stuff like . . . empty the dishwasher.”
I laughed. “Sounds like heaven to me.”
The thing was, I knew that life wouldn’t always follow the plan of a romance novel. But even so, even the most real of real lives had magic moments. And that’s what got you through the messy times.