22. Deacon
Ibinged both seasons of City of Angels on my way to Sydney, and like a pathetic stalker, I rewound the scenes with Andrea time and time again. She was beautiful. She was funny. She was down to earth.
But her bright light dulled during season two as Jeff put her through the wringer by selfishly spending more time with his band and co-stars than with her.
It was tough to witness how she’d put him first, and he’d tromped all over her sacrifice.
It had been on the tip of my tongue to ask her to come to Australia. But to what end? I’d been clear my retreat was the most special place on earth to me and I didn’t invite people there. She and I had known each other for one weekend, so bringing her into my private sanctum would be a hell of a leap. Yet here I was, not even a full day away, and I was already missing her.
What was she doing right now? Would she use the keys and codes I’d sent her to stay in my LA house? My motive had been generosity, but I’d also felt desperate to keep a connection with her.
Turning my iPad off, I settled my seat into a reclining position on my private jet, intending to fall asleep. But instead all I could think about were shy smiles and sweet kisses. Giving up on sleep, I took out my notepad to write down those thoughts.
I was off to a good start with my songwriting, or so I thought. But two weeks later, it was clear my first ever case of writer’s block had hit. I tried walking on the beach, working out to the point of exhaustion, and sitting with my guitar for hours. But nothing came.
Isolation used to be the way I recharged. But these last couple of weeks my solitude had instead felt like a prison.
It was tempting to text Andrea, but I was sure she was busy. I’d received nothing more than a one-word “thanks” when I’d sent her my gate and house codes.
FaceTiming my mom, I was happy when she answered on the first ring. “Hi, honey, how’s life down under?”
“Okay. How are things with you?”
She made small talk before eyeing me the way only a mom could. “You don’t look rested.”
I sighed. “I’m not.”
“Have you spoken with Andrea?”
“No.”
She opened her mouth but then closed it.
“If you have something to say, please say it.”
“Okay. I thought you two looked good together.”
“But…she’s going through a divorce and is in no position to start a new relationship so soon. Is that the part you were about to add?”
She chuckled. “That would be hypocritical given I met Rob while I was going through my divorce from your father. My concern is how you didn’t seem to be doing anything about it.”
I was stuck on the first part, however. How was this the first time I was hearing this? “Wait. You met Rob while going through your divorce from Dad?”
“We weren’t exactly advertising our relationship to everyone. Honestly, I thought perhaps it was just one of those rebound things. I wasn’t sure I wanted to jump right into another relationship.”
“But you did. Why?”
“Because after a shitty first marriage, where the only good thing that came out of it was you, I realized I deserved a second chance at love. Why should I give that up because the timing wasn’t in line with other people’s expectations?” She paused. “Does she have a good attorney?”
“She has Lawrence Gerson.”
“Then she’s in good hands. You footing the bill?” my mom asked out of curiosity, not judgment.
“I offered, but she wouldn’t hear of it.”
“Another reason to like her. By the way, you failed to mention Nina came by your house after ditching her honeymoon early.”
“I didn’t tell you how she tricked me into seeing her before the wedding either. Both times I made it clear she should concentrate on her marriage.”
She sighed. “Bryce said they were working on things. I wish he’d realize he deserves better.”
“Me too. I miss Andrea.”
My mom’s eyes went wide at my unexpected admission. “Then why didn’t you ask her to spend some time with you? You could have asked her to come visit you.”
“You know how I feel about this place.”
“Why are you putting so much pressure on this, sweetheart? You want to spend more time with her, and if that time happens to be in Australia, so what? It doesn’t need to mean you’ve fast-forwarded twenty steps in the relationship. It can simply mean you want to get to know each other better. What I’m trying to say is you’re placing a bigger importance than needs to be there on who gains entry to your house.”
She was right. I was considering an invitation to Australia a gating item into a serious relationship, but it could be much simpler.
The conversation with my mother made me want to call Andrea, but before I did, I called Ollie to find out what she was up to.
“Hey, my good lad, how is the writing going?”
“It’s, uh, been okay.” If I told him it was dismal, he’d be concerned. The burning question on my mind was, “How’s Andrea?”
“You could ask her yourself, you know.”
“I’m not sure if she wants to hear from me.” I hated the insecurity in my voice. But considering I hadn’t heard from her, it was possible she wasn’t missing me at all.
His chuckle was unexpected.
“You’re laughing?”
“When something is absurd, then yes, yes I am.”
“What’s absurd?”
“Why are you calling me about Andrea? The truth.”
I didn’t hesitate. “Because I miss her. And before you say we only had the one weekend together?—”
“Not at all what I was about to say. Instead, I’ll tell you to pull your head out of your arse and tell her those exact words.”
“I wasn’t sure how to invite her here without it being a big deal, and putting pressure on both of us. Is she all right?”
“Yes, she’s fine. Jeff moved out, and the house goes on the market in another couple days. The lawyer you recommended doesn’t waste time. They have completed the mediation and divided the assets. It’ll take six months for the judge to sign off, but it should be smooth sailing from here.”
“Is her ex being fair?”
“She seems to think so, for the most part. Call her, Deacon.”
“Yeah. Actually I have a better idea. Mind helping?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”