Chapter Twenty-Two #2
“A lot of the alphas in my life disappointed me. But that’s not something I should take out on you.” Her blue eyes met mine.
“It’s okay. Now I really want to eviscerate your sister and ex in song. I think my sassy assassin definitely deserves that,” I said, finishing up my last taco.
“Sassy assassin? Don’t ever say that again.” She gave me a playful little shove.
“Is a-sassy-in better?” I flashed a silly smile.
“No, that's worse. I forbid you from ever saying that,” she laughed.
“Forbid? Oh, now I really want to make a song called A-sassy-in, and totally different from the song I’m going to write about your ex and sister.” I laughed.
She scowled. “Don’t you dare.”
“I love dares.” My grin widened. “Hey, I’m sorry you had to deal with bad alphas. I always try very hard to be a good alpha, not use my alpha powers for evil.” I gave her a baleful look, not wanting her to lump me in with everyone who harmed her in the past.
“I can see that.” She focused on eating her last taco for a moment.
The sounds of the festival surrounded us. The giant swing swayed softly, but not so much it bothered us while eating.
“I grew up in a family a lot like Carlos’, though instead of one beta mom and one beta dad, it’s a pack of six beta moms,” I explained. “Five are Latina and one’s Italian if that helps you visualize it. They’re all artists of various sorts.”
Saoirse looked over at me. “I knew you had beta moms, but I didn’t realize you’d grown up in an all-beta pack. It feels uncommon, especially for New York.”
“For New York City, yes? But since the laws changed, all-beta packs are pretty common in areas where there aren’t a lot of alphas.
While I love my moms, one of the things they always impressed on me, being the only alpha in the house, was to not be an alphahole. Possibly, too much,” I admitted softly.
I’d done a lot of work on this with my therapist. Given my beloved assassin had been so honest with me, I should be honest with her, too.
“For an alpha, I can be a pushover sometimes, because I was always terrified of being that alpha. Yesterday, when I thought I crossed the line, it horrified me. They’d be so ashamed–”
“No.” She took my hand and gave me a hard look. “You didn’t cross the line. There is no line, or if there is, it keeps moving. This was me being a cold-hearted, ruthless bitch.”
I gave her a skeptical look.
“Your advances aren’t entirely unwanted,” she admitted quietly. “I like the sex. I like the little dates. I even like your impossible ridiculousness, until I don’t, but I can get over that.”
I pondered her words for a moment. “Then what can’t you get over? I’m fine with your job.”
“You’re too good for me. Probably too good for this world.
Also, why? Why would you be with someone like me?
I guess I’m waiting for you to come to your senses and realize I’m just a plaything.
Much like Carlos is afraid Fiona will come to the same conclusion and leave him. ” Her eyes flickered away from mine.
I leaned in close, getting a whiff of her brandy scent mixed with booze and tacos.
“You like me, so your hesitation has nothing to do with your feelings for me and everything to do with all your other feelings?” The revelation made me feel ten times lighter. Carlos was right, it wasn’t me–well not entirely.
I added, “I wasn’t bullshitting you before. There’s a lot to like about you. Even assassins love–look at Fiona, who is probably going to bang them.”
“Yes, they’re probably compromising the hot tub as we speak.” She looked so beautiful with the way the light framed her face, reflecting off her dark hair, making her look like an angel of destruction, which she sort of was–my angel of destruction that fell from the sky.
“I’m happy you have feelings for me, but I can still back off if you want,” I said.
She finished off her beer. “Can we start over? Originally, I was gonna have one great weekend with you and then tell you we couldn’t see each other anymore.”
For a moment I pondered this. I stared into those beautiful blue eyes. Gently, I touched her face, moving her hair behind her ear, and for once she didn’t flinch.
“What if we just gave it a little try? I’m done with my tour now. You’re in Boston, I'm in New York. We can have a couple of dinners, hook up sometimes, and see how that goes? Just give me a chance and if it doesn’t work, let me know. Por favor?” I gave her a pleading expression.
“Oh.” Her look went thoughtful.
“You’re really special. I’m not sure if anyone’s ever told you that except Fiona.
I think we could be good together. It doesn’t hurt that your girlfriend and my best friend are together, either.
We don't have to think about the future. We can just date a little bit now. I like Fiona. I have no problem with that part of the relationship and if you wanna bang Carlos, too, go for it. I won’t sleep with groupies, and I don’t have anyone that I want to be with repeatedly outside of you, anyway,” I said, shooting her another pleading look, as I laid my feelings out for her to spear with her high heels.
“Well until your omega comes. If my sister had been an omega, it might’ve been a little easier to understand when she stole my boyfriend.” She crumpled a napkin.
“Secret?” I leaned in. “Omegas don’t really do it for me.
I mean, I would protect and care for whatever omega ended up in my pack.
I just haven’t met one that makes me feel the way alphas are supposed to.
If that makes any sense. Not trying to get ahead of myself,” I said quickly, not wanting to frighten her.
Once again silence hung between us, heavy and thick, but not stifling. She still hadn’t answered my question. My heart skipped a beat, but ultimately it was up to her, because sometimes even if you liked somebody, you weren’t in a place to date them, and that was all right.
This was officially my last attempt.
“We can give it a try, but I’m not your girlfriend.” She smacked my shoulder. “I don’t want you singing a song about me being a sassy assassin.”
“Can I eviscerate your ex and sister in song? Please.” Not that I had an idea for it yet, but I never knew when the mood would strike.
Saoirse thought for a moment. “I don’t think they’re worth it, but sure. I get to hear it first.”
“I appreciate you giving me another chance.” Kissing her softly, I ran my thumb down her cheekbone. I pulled back from the kiss, but only a few inches so our noses almost brushed. “You taste like tacos.”
Her eyes rolled. “We just ate tacos.” She picked up her garbage. “Thank you for making me try them.”
“My pleasure. There are so many more tacos we can try.” I already started making a list in my head.
“All of this talking about feelings has been a lot. Come on.” She hopped up off the swing, making it sway. “Let’s go do some shots.”
Grabbing my garbage, I did the same and took her hand. Again, she didn’t pull away.
“Yes, let’s. After all, we still have time before your friend’s set.” And the night was still young.