Chapter Thirty-Six
Hale
My chest grew tight and it got hard to breathe. They were going to let us be a pack. I didn’t expect that. Why did they think it was a good idea? Or did they allow it because it wasn’t?
Panic crashed through me. I tried to tamp everything down the best I could to keep Fiona and Carlos from feeling it.
But the dads knew. I could see it in their eyes.
Shit. I thought for sure that they’d demand we get un-bonded.
How the fuck was I going to be a responsible alpha and be part of a functional pack? Especially since I’d started everything off by screwing up so badly.
While Fiona’s confidence in me was sweet, it was misplaced. They didn’t know me–and I didn’t really know them.
This is how mistakes happened. This was how everything fell apart.
“Let’s have dessert.” Fiona held out her hand to me.
I took it and stood. “I’m going to use the bathroom.”
But I didn’t go to the bathroom. Instead, I found some room full of toys and sank to the ground, putting my head on my knees.
What did I do? Could I even make this work? Did I want to make this work?
I had no idea. All I knew was that I didn’t want to hurt anyone, even though I already had.
“Hale, are you all right?” Saoirse said. “We’ll just have our dessert here. That meeting was a lot, and we should probably debrief.”
“I didn’t think they’d let us stay together,” I admitted.
“It’s not their decision.” Fiona sat on the floor next to me and put her head on my shoulder.
“But it is. All they have to do is use their alpha bark. Why didn’t they? I don’t understand why would they let us try knowing this is a really bad idea?” Looking up, I frowned, confused.
“Use their alpha bark? On your kid? Isn’t that illegal?” Carlos frowned.
“No. My parents did it all the time. That’s why Verity didn’t become a pro fútboler after she finished undergrad. They made me stay, too.” I shrugged.
Fiona blinked. “Your parents did what? That’s not okay. My dads would never do that.”
My eyebrows rose. Sure, it was shitty. But her dads were powerful and used to getting their way. “Why wouldn’t they?”
“Wow, that’s fucked up. Also, Saoirse would throat-punch them,” Fiona replied.
“We’re never doing that to our kids.” Dusty pulled over a chair and placed his plate of cake on his knees.
Kids? The panic returned.
Carlos sat on my other side. “It’s going to be okay.”
“How? I have no money. No prospects. I’ve just disappointed everyone–including you.
I can’t do this. The best choice really is for me to un-bond you.
Which will fucking suck, because it hurts.
I saw what my dad went through when he un-bonded my mom after she went to jail.
But it’s better than us spending decades fighting, pretending like the kids don’t know, then breaking up the pack,” I explained.
“Hale.” Fiona let out a sad whine. “You don’t want me?”
“I do. But we barely know each other. We rushed into things. This is how babies get trafficked, and I couldn’t stand if that happened,” I blurted, taking my plate of cake from Saoirse, begging them to understand.
“I’m missing something,” Carlos told me. “How did we go from starting a pack to trafficking babies?”
“When you do something because you think it’s in the best interest of the pack and you’re full of mating hormones, then it bites you in the ass later and everyone hates you–and your kids–for it.” I took a bite of cake to hide the pain of some of the other parents rejecting Mercy and me.
Fiona squeezed his knee. “Is there a story here? Will you share?”
“Yeah. I mean this is why we’re not supposed to date or do alphahole shit like this.” My voice broke. “The parents told us over and over to not be stupid like them. I think this might be even worse.”
“What did they do?” Her lower lip quivered.
“Mumsy was presenting a paper at a conference when she was getting her PhD. Dad, who was twenty and an undergrad in chemistry at another university, collided with Mumsy and she spilled all her shit. She told him off, then realized they were scent matches. By the end of the conference, she and Mom had decided they were keeping Dad. They drove him to his university, packed up his shit, and brought him to their place, states away,” I explained, having heard this story many times.
Fiona put her hand to her head. “Scent matches? That’s romantic.”
“Yeah, we thought so when we were little. They met, formed a pack–which included Baba and Mama. Harry came later. Anyway, Dad and the alpha moms moved quickly, and did a lot of shit wrong. Dad just sort of texted and emailed people abruptly, leaving everything, including his classes and research. Sure, he eventually became a well-liked professor, but it hurt him professionally and academically, burning bridges the way he did.” I spooned more cake in my mouth,
“We won’t let that happen. You’re not dropping out,” Carlos assured.
“The biggest fuckup was that Dad left behind his live-in girlfriend, breaking it off with only a text. Mom and Mumsy had him convinced she was psycho. He never read her emails or texts, or even talked to her.” Sadness for what had happened filled me.
“Woah, how shitty,” Dusty said.
I nodded and swallowed another bite of cake. “Yeah. He did hear one voicemail–her asking him to keep something for her because she was in danger. He didn’t call back. Later he found out she was dead… and she was trying to get a hold of him because of their kid.”
Fiona sucked in a breath. “That poor woman. She wasn’t psycho, she was pregnant.”
“That almost destroyed my dad. Especially because the kid ended up lost. My dad looked for his daughter for almost thirty years.” I remembered seeing him search the internet for pictures of her, trying to find the missing sister.
“But he found her. Rich big sister, right?” Carlos added, putting his empty plate on the floor next to him.
I sighed. “Creed did. And then everything came out. Apparently, baby Grace was brought to their house. Mom was the only one home. She dumped her at a baby shelter and Grace ended up with her maternal grandparents. Then, later, Grace’s aunt, who was on the run, asked Mom for money in exchange for disappearing with the baby, so that she’d never contact Dad.
Mom thought that it was the best for everyone.
So, she basically sold Grace. And now, she’s in jail for baby trafficking.
All because she made a decision where she thought she was protecting the pack.
” I looked at them. “Can’t you see that cutting me loose is the best option?
What if I traffic our baby. Figuratively or literally? ”
Fiona wrapped her arms around me. “Hale. Oh, honey. You’re not going to do that. You’re not like them.”
“I can see where you’re coming from, but you’re probably going to want to work on that,” Saoirse replied.
“Easy for you to say.” I frowned.
Saoirse gave me a look. “My parents are actively trying to ruin my life right now because I was in a viral video. They told me I was a selfish bitch for being outraged that my ex cheated on me with my sister. I know shitty parents and the desire to not be one.”
“Oh.” Wow.
Dusty squeezed her hand.
“I understand this is a lot. But can’t we at least try?” Carlos pleaded.
“My entire life I’ve been told to not fuck up like they did. So many things went wrong because they didn’t know each other well when they bonded,” I confessed.
“Your feelings are valid, Hale. But their experiences aren’t yours. What happened was awful, but we can learn from them and not be shitty humans,” Fiona said.
“Give it the six months? Then we’ll re-evaluate? I don’t think they can actually make us take another member. Though they could probably withhold Fiona’s money,” Carlos added.
Fiona shrugged. “I can fight that if it comes to it.”
Saoirse looked over at Fiona. “You should take them off every account of yours they’re on. Right now. All of them. Including any savings and investments in case they try to freeze them.”
“Later.” Fiona waved it off.
“Now.”
Fiona rolled her eyes and took out her phone. “Fine.”
“I need to get a phone today.” Carlos sighed.
Saoirse looked at her phone and made a face. “I need a new number. We’ll need a lawyer.”
“I have a lawyer that looks over my contracts. Dusty uses the same one,” Carlos offered.
“Can no one get an allowance? Or just Fiona? Grace pays some of my bills,” I replied. “Also, I can’t pay rent on my place in Research Circle and a place in New York. I think I’m going to have to go back and forth? Fuck, that train fare is going to be a lot.”
How was I going to do this? Would my sisters help or would they make me figure it out?
Carlos squeezed me. “We’ll get you a pass. Once we get your last semester sorted, we’ll work on your PhD.”
“Yeah. Where have you gotten in and where else have you applied?” Dusty asked me. “We should also make a spreadsheet of every chemistry PhD program with open applications in what, like a thirty-minute ultra-bullet radius?”
“We can always ask your sister’s pack to buy the Rockland team and put me on it. What were they going to call them? The Rockland Theorems?” Carlos grinned. “Back when the Knights were giving Grif trouble, they were joking about it. It would have been fun.”
“I didn’t get into Rock Tech,” I blurted.
“Not even with nepotism. I haven’t gotten in anywhere.
I haven’t heard from everyone. But I think the only program I could count on would be at the university I’m at now–and how would we handle that?
My state has a hockey team, but they’re not near my city. ”
Location was an issue because omegas couldn’t be away from their alphas for too long.
My head went back to my knees. “Maybe I should give up.”
“Maybe you need a nap and one of those cookies your sister made. Probably a cuddle.” Fiona laid her head on my back, love flowing through the bond.
“Isn’t rich big sister’s pack powerful? Forget buying a hockey team. How about a university?” Carlos suggested.
I sighed. “I sort of wanted to get in on my own merit. However, my grades went to shit last year after the pack broke up and I was on my own. This semester has been a little better, but not amazing. It’s sort of hard to get into a PhD program when your grades are shitty.”
“Could you work at a chemistry place for a year or two then go back, maybe they’ll pay for it?” Dusty offered.
“Where are we going to live?” I asked Carlos.
“I bought a townhouse. It’s by Dimitri’s.
I just closed on it. No one knows. Especially not my family.
It’s not turnkey. But it won’t need that much work to start.
Except for the secret assassin fortress we’ll need in the basement.
Also, we’ll need to check the gun laws and get permits and a gun safe,” Carlos replied.
“Good idea.” Saoirse made a list on her phone.
“You bought a house? You’re not a trainwreck.” I frowned.
“I’m a relationship trainwreck but I’d like to think I’m not a financial one. Though my savings are shot. I can tap into my investments if I need to.” Carlos looked at Dusty. “We should try to get some guest roles together during the off-season. Or maybe All-Star break?”
“Yes!” Dusty fist-bumped Carlos. “Brothers forever.”
“I still don’t think I can help toward the mortgage.” Disappointment filled me.
“There is no mortgage. I paid in full to get it cheaper and faster. That’s why I now have no savings. Don’t worry, we’ll do everything proportionally. Also, maybe Grace will buy your drug for lots of money,” Carlos added.
Optimism sparked inside me. “That would be good.” My shoulders slumped. “There’s still so much. How are we going to do this?”
“One step at a time. Together,” Fiona told me. “We’re a pack now.”
“Okay. I’ll try. Really hard.” I owed her that much. Applying to local PhD programs wouldn’t hurt.
“Good.” Fiona kissed me.
I had a pack. Fucking shit. Hopefully this would be the good I hoped for–and not the disaster I feared.