Chapter Forty-Two
Saoirse
Music wrapped around me as did the scents and sounds of Dimitri’s party. It was getting close to midnight and most everyone was a few drinks in. I leaned against the wall of the living room, nursing a beer.
That friend of Carlos’, Clark, took a selfie, Carlos photo-bombing it. The two of them said something to each other and laughed.
Hale was playing a drinking game in the backyard with his little sister and some of her teammates. Fiona was with a bunch of omegas.
Dusty had taken over the music and was having the best time. It was entertaining and his face held such joy. He loved what he did. It made him happy.
While I liked what I did, it didn’t bring me joy or happiness. Just the sense of accomplishment you got when you did a job well.
I thought about what I’d said earlier, being vulnerable with him after having another fantastic orgasm.
It went against everything I stood for. At the same time, he was my mate.
He could feel me and I kept forgetting that.
There was no way to hide anything from him.
He wouldn’t believe me saying, I’m fine, when I wasn’t.
Also, I knew what happened in relationships when that did happen. Whether it was knowing how to shield emotions from the other, or someone just not caring how their partner really felt.
I’d grown up in that house, and I’d sooner drag everyone off for some serious partner therapy than raise our kids like that.
Still, it rattled me a little. While I did get vulnerable with Fiona, it was different because with her my job was to make her feel safe. That was the whole point of deltas.
I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't a weakness to trust an alpha.
“Are you okay? You don’t look like you’re having much fun.” Verity, Hale’s older sister came over to me, leaning on her forearm crutch. She was wearing a stunning dress.
“Resting security guard face. I’m actually having a good time.” I scanned the room again, but my pack was all there, safe and having fun.
“You’re watching over them. I see. Hale mentioned that Fiona’s fathers put you in charge of the pack.”
“Temporarily. They don’t know the guys.” I took a sip of my beer.
“It’s one thing to be the most responsible person in the pack, but that also doesn’t make you the parent or babysitter, and there’s a difference. Hale can be capable when he wants,” she admitted.
“It shows. Any alpha who brings a belt pack with cheesy crackers and bandages to a rave has a little sense of responsibility,” I replied.
She laughed. “That sounds like him. Still, the idea of him having a pack makes me anxious. Not because I don’t think he can do it. Because he can. It’s because it will be different from the way I would, in a panic-inducing way.” She pinched the bridge of her nose.
A giant guy with a red beard came over and put his arm around her. “Are you doing okay, Kitten? We don’t have to stay until midnight. Mercy is fine.”
It took me a moment to realize that he was an omega, a very large one. Though I knew she was an alpha.
“Can we leave right after midnight? Considering we’ve already been to another party, I’m about done.” Her eyes flickered to the open glass doors to the small backyard. “I know she’ll be fine.”
“You’re part of Carlos’ pack, right? I’m Grif, I’m one of his teammates. He’s a good guy, a little chaotic, but a good guy,” he replied.
“I’m Saoirse. Fiona loves Carlos,” I agreed.
We talked a little longer, then I went to go get another beer, and see if Tegan, the Special Forces alpha I’d met at the game, was here.
There was a lack of wine, but plenty of beer and hard liquor.
I got a beer out of the kitchen, where a bunch of rugby players were having a card game. I didn’t see her.
I went out into the small backyard, which was full of lights. No, I didn’t see her there either or her mate.
My phone buzzed. My brother? He wasn’t passed out yet?
Tadgh
You and Fiona are topics of interest.
Me
Going viral will do that. Concern?
Tadgh
No.
Me
Please tell me our weepy widow has left the news cycle? I’ve been a bit busy.
Tadgh
Yes. The investigation has been quashed, from what I can tell. Since that might reveal his extracurriculars.
That’s how it usually went. If you dug too deep into why someone died, you might find unbecoming reasons–and those corrupt enough to not want to be exposed along with him.
Me
If I’d known we were moving here I wouldn’t have done it. I now have a pack of civilians.
I didn’t do local jobs for safety reasons.
Tadgh
Extra caution never hurts. Maybe take a break, then switch to overseas jobs only for a while?
Me
Sounds good. If you need to act, do.
Sure, Tadgh wasn’t my handler. He didn’t work for the Company. But he did fix things for me and watched over me. It was his way of making it up to me for how shitty our parents and sister were.
Also, the Company had been silent since my parents tried to make them fire me, other than when I reached out for information. I’d agreed to go off the duty-rosters anyway, might as well use it to my advantage.
Me
Why are you awake?
Tadgh
Party went all night. Just eating breakfast before I crash. Oíche mhait.
Me
Good night.
I continued my search for Tegan. Down in the basement, I found a teenager and a few others playing video games.
Was anybody else down here?
Dimitri leaned against the hallway wall, frowning at his phone.
“Bad news?” Maybe this was the time to say something that had been bothering me since August when I saw him at the wedding. Especially with how close he and Carlos were.
“Define bad.” His dark eyebrows furrowed.
“I’ve been assured that you’re not Russian intelligence, but I don’t know if I should believe that. This would be an excellent cover,” I said softly in Russian as I casually leaned against the wall next to him.
He eyed me curiously, but I’m pretty sure he’d already clocked me the way I clocked him.
“I assure you that I do not work for Russian intelligence,” he replied.
“Do you work for anyone else?” I asked.
“I work for the New York Knights. Who do you work for? I’m very curious,” he added.
I got no lies off of him, but someone like him would know how to hide that.
“Does it matter? I assure you that I do not work for Russian intelligence, either,” I responded.
His lips curled up in the tiniest of smiles, then he frowned. “Do they know? Carlos is a very good friend of mine. I don’t like the thought of him being deceived or part of some sort of larger plot.”
Did he think perhaps I was undercover? Interesting.
“They know what I do for a living and who I work for,” I confirmed.
“I remember you–and her–from the animal park. You climbed a tree to get something.”
“I was on a team with very short omegas, someone had to do it.” I shrugged, not surprised someone like him noticed.
“Are you looking for someone? I think your pack is all upstairs.” He glanced around.
“I was hoping Tegan was here. She’s really fun to talk to,” I admitted. We’d been talking about sniper rifles. Pretty sure she thought I’d been part of the Irish military.
“Yes, Tegan is fascinating. They didn’t come, sadly. Please assure whoever you work for that I just want to play hockey, raise my siblings, and be left alone.” Pain lurked in his voice.
It made me wonder what he’d gone through, because one simply didn’t leave being a Belikov or any of those Russian political and military dynasties.
Perhaps he was disgraced. But I had a feeling if he’d left in disgrace, it was one engineered to get him out of the way. I’d seen it before. In many ways that was part of why my family did what they did to me–hoping if I was suitably embarrassed that I would know my place and fade away.
“I’m guessing you’re in the family business, I believe they call it here?” he added.
“You probably know exactly who I am.” I gave him an amused look.
“No.” He shook his head. “I wanted to talk to you first and make sure that you weren’t a threat to Carlos.”
“As long as he continues to be good to Fiona, I’m no threat,” I replied.
“Fair.” He nodded in agreement.
“I work for the Company,” I told him as an offering of trust.
“Now that I didn’t expect. All things considered, you may want to pay your respects to the locals, just to let them know that you’re not encroaching on their territory, or anything of that nature,” he said softly.
“That makes a lot of sense. I haven’t gotten that far. There are probably multiple people I should be aware of here?” Yes, I didn’t want to run afoul of the locals. Though I wasn’t asking permission, just announcing my presence out of respect.
“Only the main one. His sister runs a deli. I would start with her and if anyone has concerns they’ll follow up,” he replied.
“Noted, thank you.”
“I only mention it because they hunted me down when I first moved here. I wasn’t aware that people outside Russia knew or cared about my last name,” he added.
“I appreciate it.” That was nice. He seemed kind. Just… sad.
The two of us went upstairs.
“There you are.” Fiona slid her arm around my waist.
I kissed the top of her head. “Are you doing all right?”
“I’m having a great time. Dimitri’s sister and her friends are amazing. How are you? Were you down in the basement interrogating Dimitri to make sure he’s not going to cause a war?” she joked in Irish.
“Pretty much.”
“Can I stay the night with you?” Fiona leaned in closer.
“Of course. You don’t have to ask.” I gave her a squeeze.
She laughed. “I sort of do. You might want to spend some time with Dusty.”
“Just because I have a Dusty, doesn’t mean I’m not here for you,” I assured her.
“I know and just because I have a Hale and a Carlos doesn’t mean I don’t need you. Please don’t be afraid to go, No, my turn,” she added.
“Since when do I have trouble doing that? Do you want me to pick you up and carry you over my shoulder, too?” I laughed.
“Oh, please! That would be so funny. Though it would be equally funny if you picked up Dusty.” She giggled.
I chuckled. “He’d probably enjoy it way too much.”
“Is that a bad thing? Enjoying each other?” Her eyebrows waggled.