Chapter Forty-Eight #2
I snorted. “I can send you numerous text messages refuting that. And I’m sure someone will say it once you tell everyone.”
“Hale, I won’t tell any of the other parents, not even Mumsy. Though I won’t lie to her if she asks me,” he replied.
“Please don’t. I really can’t handle being yelled at by Mumsy and be accused of throwing everything away, and ruining my future,” I added.
“Well… you have to understand where we’re coming from. If I knew what I did now, I would have handled mating and forming a pack differently. Also, you not getting into a PhD program yet is worrying. How did your grades slip so much?” he asked.
“Seriously? You’re asking that? They slipped because you all left me to fend for myself. There was hardly any warning. While it is in your right to dissolve the pack, sell everything, and move away, that doesn’t absolve you of your responsibility as parents,” I retorted, that old hurt surfacing.
“That’s not true, we had a plan,” he replied.
“Oh, right, your plan was to force Verity to quit school and take care of Mercy and me, because Mumsy hates us so much she didn’t want to bring Mercy to London with the littles.
That’s not a plan, Dad. That’s abandoning your kids.
Yeah, you want to know why my grades slipped?
I had my tuition covered because you worked there.
I lived at home. Suddenly, I was responsible for everything all at once.
There was no time to apply for things. I didn’t qualify for aid because you make too much,” I said.
Verity helped me fill out the papers to eventually fix that. Not him. My sister.
“We wanted to help, but moving six people to London was more expensive than we expected,” he replied.
“You could have done something. Not all help costs. You didn’t help me look for a place to live.
You didn’t talk to the department about assisting me.
You didn’t use your connections to help me find a job.
Okay, maybe that’s entitled of me, but Mumsy even took my education money, so I didn’t even have that to help myself pay for stuff. " That was quite the betrayal.
He sighed. “Taking the money was an accident. We told you that.”
“But you never replaced it. Do you know how much help it would have been? We’re still your kids,” I added, as I unloaded what had been bothering me for a year and a half.
Not to mention Dad had been obligated to have helped Mercy because she’d been a minor and he just left her and went to another country. I’d been a legal adult, but it still hurt.
For a moment the line went quiet.
“Hale, I’m sorry you feel that way. I told you, we had to work fast when those job opportunities in London hit.
Things slipped through the cracks. Money was tight.
We didn’t get what we wanted from the house,” he replied.
“Also, it’s good for you to learn to support yourself.
Lots of people work, attend university, and handle all of these things on their own. ”
“I know, I’m an adult, act like it.” My voice grew bitter. “I would like my money back before I graduate please. I need it for my PhD.”
“Hale, please don’t start things.” He sighed again.
“I’m not starting anything, Dad,” I snapped. “You can’t get on my case about my grades when you stopped parenting me because of something that happened before I was born. Just like you can’t scold me for getting accidentally packed up when the only example I had was you.”
I froze as I said that. That was harsh. But true. And it needed to be said.
The line went quiet. Finally, he spoke. “I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”
“I’m not you, Dad,” I retorted, wishing I had the nerve to hang up on my own father.
“Aren't you? Right now, all I see is me. Someone who knows the responsible thing is to un-bond everyone, but doesn’t have the fortitude to do it, because of the fantasy in their head,” he blurted.
Fucking shit. Did he just say that?
But we knew he almost un-bonded everyone after baby Grace went missing and he found out his girlfriend they kept from him had died.
“Even soulmates can be bad for you,” he added, in a bare whisper.
“Dad. Are you safe?” My chest constricted. Sure, Dad had Harry, too, but he was a beta. Also, the laws for omegas in England were different.
“I’m fine.” He sighed. “You’re right. I failed you.
You, Mercy, and Verity. I should have made sure everyone had what they needed.
While Mumsy had a point about you needing to learn to live on your own, we could have gone about it differently.
I could have helped with a few things. We got overwhelmed. ”
“You failed us and let Mumsy steal from us, and treat us like shit,” I replied.
“I did fail you.” His voice shook. “I thought I was picking and choosing my battles.”
“You chose wrong.” My voice went raw.
Fiona came into the dining room and slid onto my lap. I held her close.
“I’m sorry.” Dad sobbed. “I’m so sorry. I fucked up so badly. But I don’t want you to fuck up, too.”
“I’m not going to fuck up. Especially if you support me. I answered the phone because I wanted your advice, Dad, not your judgement,” I admitted.
“I’m sorry.” He was crying on the line.
Part of me felt sorry for him. But he didn’t have to perpetuate the cycle.
“I just don’t want you to throw all your work away. It’s hard balancing a pack and a PhD. Yes, you have a solid plan, but even the best plans go by the wayside…” he continued.
His words were like a slap.
“Verity is getting her PhD and has a pack.” My voice shook.
“Well, we didn’t approve of that either.” He sighed.
Approve? This wasn’t Tea-Time Era Britain where matings were approved and shit.
He added, “Also, Verity is Verity… and you are… you…”
Translation–I couldn’t do it. My throat swelled. Yep, even my own omega dad thought I was a national disaster.
“Just hang up?” Fiona’s eyes had tears in them.
Could I?
I sighed. “I still love you, Dad. But I need a major nonjudgmental zone in regard to this, and I need to not be compared to you. Yes, I will try to learn from the mistakes you made, but I’m also more capable than you all think.
I’m not going to un-bond my mates just because you fucked up your career and Grace’s life.
Also, I was serious about wanting my money back by graduation. Um, I have to go.”
Before I lost my nerve, I ended the call.
“Shit, I just hung up on a parent.” My whole body shook.
Fiona kissed me. “Sometimes it’s necessary. Hale, I love you. Please don’t un-bond me.”
The thing was, Dad had a point. It would fix everything. It would be easier. At the same time, was the easy way worth giving up the omega in my lap?
I didn’t think it was. My phone rang. Carlos.
“Hey.” My voice shook.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded.
“Hale’s dad told him to un-bond us,” Fiona said.
“Shit. Wow. Hey, you don’t have to listen to him,” Carlos said.
“He doesn’t think I can do it. I just wanted him to believe in me like my siblings do.” Tears pricked my eyes.
“You can do this. We can do this. Just… stay. Please. Don’t listen to him.” Her voice broke as she turned on my lap and buried her face in my shoulder.
“I didn’t mean to get into it. He just started getting on me about my PhD, even though I’m working on it and…” My body shuddered.
“Do you need me to come home right now?” Carlos offered. “I will.”
“I’m okay.” I’d feel bad if he did that.
“Are you sure? You fucking matter to me. So, if you need me, tell me, and I’ll come home, Hale,” he said.
Honestly, I’d like that. But a parent being disappointed in me was just another day in my life.
“I’m sure. I might have to fuck our omega, though,” I replied.
“Fuck away. I love you, Hale. I love both of you. I am here. You are not a fuckup. You can do this. And don’t fucking worry about money.
We can fucking support your ass this semester while we get our shit figured out, okay.
I can even pay for your PhD. You can always support me when I go back to nursing school, understood? ” His voice went firm.
He didn’t just love me, but he wanted to support me? What he said seemed fair. I mean that’s sort of what the parents did.
“One semester would help so fucking much. Just while we got organized… I’m in the process of selling my drug, but it’s not much and I have to think about PhD program costs…”
“We will absolutely help you with any and all of it. What else is money for, besides pillows and chocolate?” Fiona asked.
Could I? Could I let them love me? That would make un-bonding so much harder.
But I didn’t want to do that. Was that selfish of me?
Probably.
However, they didn’t want me to un-bond them, and that mattered, too.
Certainly, I didn’t want to un-bond them.
“Okay.” It came out like a sob. “I love you, too.”
“Good. We’ve fucking got this,” Carlos assured.
“We do,” Fiona agreed.
“I made progress.” I updated them on what I’d figured out.
“That is great. Grace buying the drug is good. And yeah, we can keep you in your place for the semester, so you have a place. What’s your rent?” Carlos asked.
I added up rent and utilities and told him.
“That’s it? My beauty budget is more than that. We’ve got you, Hale,” Fiona assured.
“Why?” My chest shook.