Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Jonah
Dinner is strange. We’re eating in the dining room.
The table is bigger than the one in the kitchen.
Vivian doesn’t say a word. His eyes are red, though he’s obviously tried to cover that up.
Dad and Carolynda keep the conversation going, but it seems forced.
Like they’re trying to convince everyone that things are normal.
I hate the layer of secrecy covering the room. It feels similar to the way things were right before Mom left. A scream builds inside. I can’t fucking go through this again. I jump to my feet. My chair falls back, but I grab it before it hits the floor. Carolynda’s eyes go wide. Vivian glares at me.
“More tea, anyone?’ I ask, and then rush from the room before they can answer. When I get to the kitchen, I lean my forearms against the sink and cover my face with my hands.
“That was a bit dramatic.”
I jump at the sound of Vivian’s voice. When I turn around, he’s watching me. I’m not sure what to say.
He sighs. “What’s going on with you?”
“Me?” I’m not the one yelling in my room. I’m not the one keeping secrets as if the news is so awful— No. None of that. Instead, I start to laugh.
“Did someone break you or something?” He rolls his eyes and storms away as if he doesn’t care about the answer, an empty glass still in his hand.
And it’s so Vivian that I can breathe again. I fill my glass with tea and take the pitcher with me into the dining room. I set it in front of Vivian. He’s still giving me strange looks, as if I’ve somehow switched bodies with an alien.
But dinner is easier. Maisy goes on and on about her party. Dad and Carolynda talk about nothing. Vivian keeps giving me questioning looks, but he no longer looks as sad as he did.
I escape to my room as soon as I can. If it wasn’t for Maisy’s party tomorrow, I’d leave now. Would anyone really notice I was gone?
I can do this. Get through tomorrow and my sister’s party. And then I can go back to Mule Creek.
The next morning, I’m in the kitchen, grabbing a much-needed cup of coffee. My head is pounding like someone’s playing drums inside it. I wish they’d stop. I need to get through this day.
“Jonah?” Dad tilts his head. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” I don’t mean to snap, but Carolynda has asked me several times already. I sip my coffee and check my phone for messages, so I don’t have to see Dad’s frown.
Preparations for the party are in full swing. Carolynda is finishing the cupcakes while Vivian fills goody bags. I know I’m expected to help, but the pain medicine I took for my headache hasn’t kicked in.
Maisy is going on and on and on about her party. I’m happy for her, but damn, girl. Give it a rest. “Maisy, could you…chatter less?”
The room goes quiet, and I glance up. Everyone is staring at me. Maisy’s chin wobbles. Oh shit.
“It’s her birthday, Jonah.” Vivian gives me a scathing look. “So maybe stop being a dick.”
“Vivian, language,” Carolynda says, but her eyes are still on me.
When did our roles reverse? I’m the easygoing one. Vivian is the arrogant, sarcastic asshole. And I hate that he’s right.
Ignoring my stepbrother, I give Maisy a hug. “Sorry, sweetie. Happy birthday.”
She squeezes me tight because Maisy doesn’t hold a grudge. Not like some people. Now that all is forgiven, she wants me to play dragons with her. I absolutely do not want to do that, but I can’t say no.
I swallow more pain meds, grab a second cup of coffee, and pretend I’m the baby dragon to Maisy’s mama dragon.
Vivian smirks at me. Asshole.
He’s the reason I’m so fucking exhausted. My dreams haunted me. Dreams of Vivian submitting. Dropping to his knees, his full lips open and ready.
The look he’s giving me now isn’t helping. Am I attracted to Vivian’s snark? Please, God. Make it stop.
My headache subsides slightly, but then the party starts and the house is full of screaming kids. And there’s no place to hide.
I’m not allowed to retreat to my room. Which means Vivian is stuck out here too.
I really try to be good, but when things get too loud, I retreat to the peaceful back porch. Through the screened-in window, I can see the farm stretched out before me. It’s picturesque, but I can’t enjoy it. Is this my future?
Not a chance. But there’s no rush to tell Dad. It can wait until after Maisy’s birthday. Maybe the next time I’m home.
A quiet humming pulls me out of my thoughts. Vivian halts when he sees me, his humming breaking off. “Why am I not surprised?”
I fold my arms across my chest, but it doesn’t stop my heart from taking off as if I’m running a marathon. I hate the guy. That’s why I can’t catch my breath. It has nothing to do with my stupid dreams. “I was here first. Go away.”
He shrugs one shoulder and gives me a haughty look. “That didn’t work when I was seventeen either. I guess you’re stuck with me.”
Don’t engage. Don’t fight. It’s Maisy’s birthday. “Whatever.” I turn back to stare out the window. Birds play in the birdbath Mom insisted on getting when she was here. Then she left me and the birds to fend for ourselves. I wish I could dance around happily like everything’s great.
But I can’t. I’m stuck in this place. Where no one expects anything from me. Unless they need something lifted. Or need someone to take over the farm.
“Are you almost done feeling sorry for yourself? Because I could use the space.”
I turn and glare at him. “Fuck off, Vivian.”
Instead of yelling, like I expect, he watches. It’s intense. And it reminds me of my dream. Vivian on his knees…
Nope. I spin around to watch the birds. And hide my body’s reaction.
He doesn’t say a word, and the silence is awkward. Is it worse than normal because we’re trying not to fight? Or because of the weird encounter in the hallway? The one I took way too far. God, I should apologize. I clear my throat. “Vivian, I—”
“No. Stop talking. This weekend has been…a lot. And anything you say will just make it worse.”
“Rude.” Why did I think he’d appreciate an apology? Nothing I’ve ever done has been good enough for Vivian. In school, I tried to help him, and he pushed me away. Over the years, I’ve tried to be nice, and he’s repeatedly told me to fuck off. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Today? This weekend? Or in general?” He gives me a once-over that makes it clear he considers me to be the problem.
“Look, I’ve tried to be nice—”
“Let’s stick a pin in that for now, m’kay? Because, Jonah, sweetie, you are the least of my problems. Do you want to know why?” He asks the question slowly as if he’s talking to one of the four-year-olds in the other room. “For something to bother me, I have to care about it first.”
My mouth drops open. Because, fuck, that hurts.
Even though it shouldn’t. This is our thing.
We hate each other. But for some reason, I want it to bother him.
I want him to care. And I don’t want to examine why that is.
“Why are you still here?” When he starts to say something, I hold up a hand.
“Not in this room. In this town. You claim to hate living in Hopeview. You’re an adult, Vivian.
Stop complaining and leave. Find a job that pays more than minimum wage.
Or better yet, go back to New York. I mean, you have a trust fund for fuck’s sake. ”
His body is coiled tight like a snake about to strike. His eyes flash with anger, and it gives me a jolt of satisfaction. He’s definitely bothered now. “If I had access to my trust fund, I wouldn’t be in this stupid town. Believe me, never having to deal with you again would be a dream come true.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have fucked up so bad that you got sent to Nebraska in the first place.”
Vivian steps closer in a deliberate way that feels dangerous. He raises his chin, his nostrils flaring and his dark eyes burning into mine. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“Explain it to me.”
“No.” He shoulder-checks me as he walks away.
But I can’t let it go. The anger between us is the only thing keeping me sane. “Vivian. Don’t you dare walk away.”
He ignores me. I follow him through the kitchen and into the living room, so focused on stopping him from leaving that it’s the only thing that matters.
“Stop, Vivian.” I grab his arm to slow him down and jump in front of him. “Tell me—”
The fury in his face catches me off guard and his frustrated scream reminds me of the yelling I heard from his room.
He pushes me with both hands. I stumble over something, and then I’m falling, my heart catching in my throat and my stomach plummeting.
I crash into something, taking it down with me, as children scream around me.
“Oh shit,” Vivian says, his eyes wide.
“You killed my Dragon Princess castle,” Maisy cries out as Carolynda rushes over.
“No, it’s fine.” I scramble to get up and slip on one of the castle pieces—it looks like a drawbridge—and land on my ass again.
Dad stands over me, shaking his head furiously as he glares from me to Vivian. “One day.” His voice gets louder. “You couldn’t go one day—”
Carolynda puts a hand on his back, and that stops his words. She’s holding a turret in one hand—is that what it’s called?—as tears run down her face. The kids stare at us. Mostly me. I’m the one sitting among the castle ruins.
I reluctantly take Vivian’s offered hand and get to my feet. I glance behind me and grimace. I’m not sure the castle can be saved.
“Go to your rooms,” Dad orders, pointing toward the stairs.
Vivian sets his jaw. “We’re not children.”
Dad doesn’t even say anything. He doesn’t have to. He folds his arms across his chest.
“Come on, bro.” I grab Vivian’s arm and pull him away from the mess before he can make things worse. Kids and parents stare at us as we pass by them. When we get to the staircase, Vivian yanks his arm away. “Way to fuck everything up.”
“Me?” God, I want to wipe that arrogant look right off his face, but that will get us into more trouble. “Fuck off, Vivian.” Then I storm up the stairs to my room and slam the door behind me.