Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Jonah
Dad stares at me like I’m a monster, his voice full of anger. Disgust. “What is wrong with you?” He points at Vivian. “He’s your brother.”
People are turning to stare, and my face heats up. I’m frozen. Can’t move. Can’t speak. Dread heavy in my stomach. First, my mom. Now my dad.
“Stepbrother,” Vivian says. His voice is calm. His chin raised. “George, listen—”
“I don’t want to hear from you.” The look he gives Vivian is like a slap to the face. And it wakes me up.
“Dad, stop.” I can’t believe this is happening. How can I be deliriously happy one moment and destroyed the next? I hate hurting Dad, but I can’t let him take this out on Vivian. “This isn’t Vivian’s fault.” I try to pull Vivian behind me, but he isn’t budging.
“You’re wrong. He did this—”
“George.” Carolynda’s voice is like steel. “You need to think carefully about what you say next.” Her voice lowers. “I understand you’re upset. But some things can’t be unsaid.”
He folds his arms over his stomach, and his chin drops as he visibly tries to pull himself together. Then he nods once and gives Carolynda a weak smile. “Excuse me.” He walks away without a glance at Vivian or me.
A sob escapes me, and I dash at the tears on my face. How could he walk away? The disgust in his eyes—my throat tightens, and I can’t breathe.
And then Vivian is there, wrapping his arms around me. “It’s going to be okay.”
I nod, giving him a grateful smile. As hard as that was…as hard as it might still be, we never have to hide again. The relief makes me lightheaded.
Carolynda touches my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Jonah. He’ll come around.” Her eyes are sad, but there’s none of the disgust I saw from my dad. “I wish George had reacted differently, but— No, I’m not going to excuse his behavior. Just know that I’m thrilled for you both.”
“You are?”
Her smile is genuine. “I’ve never seen either of you so happy.”
I feel a surge of affection for Carolyna. She’s the opposite of my mom, who sometimes forgets to return my calls. “Thank you, Carolynda. That means a lot.”
But there’s still a giant hole in my stomach. I’ve always wanted to protect my dad from the pain my mom caused. And now I’m the one causing him pain.
Carolynda places her hands on my biceps and then pulls me in for a hug. And I’m so startled that I don’t move. I’ve seen her hug Maisy, so I know it’s possible, but—and then I shut off my brain and hug her back. Vivian sobs and wraps his arms around both of us.
“Me too,” Maisy says, squeezing her way in.
I laugh and pick her up. After another quick family—minus Dad—hug, Carolynda dusts off her shorts.
“Here’s what we’re going to do. Maisy and I will get something to eat and visit the Dragon Princess booth.
” Maisy’s eyes widen, and she squeals. It sounds eerily like Frankie.
“You and Vivian take some time for yourselves. You both have performances today.” She glances at the path Dad took.
“And we’ll let your dad feel his feelings for a while. ”
Vivian and I hold hands while we check out a few booths.
One booth has an interesting array of handcuffs and collars.
It’s a little scary but very exciting. And a good reminder that enjoying a D/s dynamic is nothing to be ashamed of.
We buy a few things for later, and something in me settles.
There is a later for us. Dad will come around.
Or he won’t. And I’m not sure what later will look like for Vivian and me, but knowing there will be one is enough. I kiss Vivian. “You’re amazing.”
“Glad you finally noticed,” he says with a wink.
I grin. “Oh, I’ve noticed.”
We wander down to the stage. It’s big but not as intimidating as I expected. People mill around, checking microphones and speakers and other things I have no idea about.
“Are you ready for his?” Vivian asks.
“The jury is still out.” Even if I’m not quite ready, I’m going to do this. It’s not for me. I don’t care about the prize money. This performance is for Vivian.
“Jonah?”
I spin around. Roz stands in full makeup and costume, even in this heat, with a smile on their face. Their manager, Levor, is beside them. He’s an older man with dark skin. I think he’s Jamaican.
“Roz, hi!” I hold out my hand, but they push it away and pull me into a hug. I’m careful not to mess up any part of their costume.
When they pull back, Levor is shaking his head fondly.
“Who’s this cutie?”
Vivian stares at Roz, his mouth open.
I nudge him with my shoulder. “This is Vivian, my—” Stepbrother was on the tip of my tongue, but it’s no longer adequate. “This is my boyfriend.”
They give Vivian a big smile. “It is wonderful to meet you— Wait, I know you!”
“You do?” Vivian asks with a squeak in his voice.
“You’re the guy—” They give me heart eyes. “The one from the video.”
I’d almost forgotten about that.
“Your voice is divine, darling. Did you do your own hair and makeup?”
Vivian nods and then clears his throat. “Yes. I did.”
“He’s also performing today.”
Roz’s face lights up. “That’s wonderful. I can’t wait.”
“Jonah is performing too.”
I give Vivian a betrayed look. I don’t want anyone watching me, which I guess defeats the purpose. He gives me a cheeky grin.
“You two are too cute. Jonah, sweetheart, I didn’t know you could sing until that video.”
“It’s nothing. Vivian’s the star.”
“You’re both talented. Aren’t they, Levor?”
“Indeed. We have that thing, Roz.” He gives them a pointed look.
“Yes. You’re right.” They give us air kisses. “Tootle-loo.”
Once they’re out of sight, Vivian grabs my arm. “Roz called me talented. This is the best day of my life.”
“Great,” I say, to no one in particular. “How am I going to beat that?”
Frankie joins us, and Vivian repeats his statement to his bestie. “You met Roz?”
He gives me a side nod. “Roz is friends with Jonah.”
“Shut up,” Frankie says to Vivian and then smacks my arm. “Let me see the pictures.”
“Why didn’t I get a selfie?” Vivian smacks my arm.
“This is getting old.” I rub my bicep. It doesn’t really hurt, but it’s the principle of the thing. “We can get pictures next time.”
Frankie stares with a wide grin on her face. “Next time?”
I ignore them and sing my song in my head over and over. “What if I forget the words?” I ask them, interrupting whatever squabble they have going.
Vivian smiles patiently. “Is it a country song?”
I feel like I should be insulted by his tone. “Yes.”
“Oh,” Frankie says, waving her hand dismissively. “You’ll be fine. No one here knows the words anyway.”
“That’s not true.” I can’t be the only queer person who loves country music.
As the time to perform gets closer and closer, confetti bombs go off in my chest, and the pieces flutter down to pile in my stomach. I put my hand over my mouth. “I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can,” Vivian says, cradling my face. “You’ve got this, babe. Just imagine you’re singing to me.”
I nod. I can do that. “You’ll stand in the front?” I’m not sure if they’ll let him, but I also know that if Vivian is determined, nothing will stop him.
When they announce me, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. The sound tech has my music. Carolynda and Maisy wave from the back. I don’t see Dad, but I don’t focus on it either. Vivian is right up front, getting glares from a few twinks behind him. And Frankie is by his side. Frankie gives me a thumbs-up.
Roz is the emcee. I should have remembered that sooner.
When I take the stage, Roz throws an arm around my shoulder.
“Jonah is one of the sweetest guys I know. I’m so excited to share a stage with him, even if it’s only to introduce him.
He works at one of my favorite event places ever.
We did a charity gala there. If you need a wedding and happen to be in the Kansas City area, check out Bishop Fields. ”
Levor groans from the far side of the stage. And when Roz opens their mouth to say more, he shakes his head.
“Thank you, Roz. Everyone.” I clear my throat and wipe my hands on my jeans.
“I’m a little nervous.” That gets cheers and a few suggestions about helping me with my nerves, and Vivian shoots them a glare.
My boyfriend—that’s what he is—is fierce.
“This is for my boyfriend Vivian.” I say the words with confidence and then, staring only at the man I love, I sing my heart out, remembering every word to my song, “Guilty as Sin” by Chris Housman.
What? The lyrics are perfect for Vivian and me. Don’t believe me? Look them up.
When the last note dies, everyone cheers. Vivian is crying his eyes out. Oops. He’s going to have to redo his makeup. But he’s grinning at me, and I grin back. In my peripheral vision, I see a man glaring at me. I was hoping my dad would see me sing. And maybe he did.
But the last person I expect to see is Renato Beauchesne.
Vivian’s father.