Chapter 18 Claire
Claire
Claire hurtled into her hotel room, the door slamming behind her. She grabbed her laptop from her briefcase, flung herself onto the bed, and dove into research about what had happened at the park.
What was that version of Matías she’d just spent half an hour with? And the one who’d been here in the hotel driveway the day before?
Besides what Claire already expected—concussion-induced hallucinations or something else caused by the trauma of Matías’s accident and stress—internet queries were fruitless:
What you are seeing is a demon in human skin.
Are you doing shrooms?
Haunted houses often utilize projectors to create the image of a spirit.
After their loved one’s death, some report seeing or feeling the presence of a ghost.
Then there were the pseudopsychological diagnoses of questionable veracity:
Hallucinations may be early indications of schizophrenia.
Imaginary friends will sometimes persist into adulthood.
A vision of a ghost of a person who is still alive may actually be an astral projection, a condition in which the soul separates from the body for indeterminate periods of time.
Wait. Claire paused on the last answer.
An astral projection? She asked for more information.
Astral projections are rare but can occur when a subject is suffering from dire physical or medical conditions. The soul may detach in such instances. For example, there have been accounts of people watching their own surgeries from the same operating room, as if they were a third party.
Is it possible to talk to astral projections?
There is little evidence of interaction between astral projections and living people. In fact, astral projections are not a verifiable phenomenon.
“You just said that astral projections have actually happened,” Claire said, glaring at her computer. “But now you’re saying the reports aren’t verifiable?”
She typed more questions into the program, fingers pounding hard on the keys.
The chatbot seemed to adjust to what she wanted to hear. When she pushed on with curiosity, it served positive answers about astral projections. When she expressed skepticism for some of its answers, it gave her responses undermining the existence of astral projections and the people who claim to have experienced them.
In a burst of frustration, Claire hammered out one final query: Who has the most knowledge and experience with astral projections?
It came up with a list of psychics. Lots of supposed psychics.
And one academic—Margot Hong, professor of parapsychological phenomena, Stanford University.
Despite having seen an apparition, Claire was too rational to believe in psychics. But a professor…
Five minutes later, Claire had found the professor’s contact info and emailed a brief explanation of seeing Matías’s spirit, along with a request for an urgent appointment in the early evening Spain time, which was morning in Palo Alto, California, where Professor Hong worked.
—
“Good morning,” the professor said, smiling into the camera. Margot Hong had the kind of face that age didn’t stamp—she could be twenty-five or forty-five—although based on the number of papers she’d published, she must be on the upper end of that spectrum. “Or should I say buenas tardes, since you’re in Madrid?”
Claire tried to smile back, even though she could feel her nerves practically vibrating through her skin. “It’s nice to meet you, Professor Hong. Thank you for taking my call on such short notice.”
“It’s not a problem. Although I must confess I am also doing this out of professional curiosity.”
“Thank you. I…I don’t usually believe in stuff like this. I mean, I’m a lawyer. I am all about fact-based inquiry and rational beliefs.”
Professor Hong nodded. “Don’t worry. I’m a scientist. I am quite inflexible on facts as well, although I do challenge the notion of what we consider rational and what we don’t. Anyway, you emailed me a little bit about your situation, but do you mind telling me everything that’s happened from the beginning?”
Claire fiddled with the hotel-branded pen on the desk. She’d reviewed what she was going to say over and over while waiting for this appointment, but now it flew out of her head and she was forced to improvise. How much to reveal? What was enough, and what was extraneous?
Stop thinking like a lawyer in negotiations, she told herself. This wasn’t like work, where sometimes she had to strategically keep information back. If Claire was going to talk about the vision of Matías, she might as well go all in.
“My boyfriend, Matías, was in a terrible boating accident. Two of his friends died, and he and two other friends are in comas.”
Professor Hong exhaled. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”
Claire nodded. “It’s been awful. Matías is on life support and not doing well. But the thing is…I’ve seen him. Not in the hospital. Like, I’ve seen a transparent ghost version of him.”
“Hmm. Tell me more. Where? When?”
“The first time was here at the hotel. I was working downstairs, and there was a flash of light when the sun reflected off a window, and then he was just there in the driveway. I ran out and he saw me, and we talked, but then the light went through him and I freaked out and fainted.
“The second time was this afternoon. I had just left his bedside at the hospital. I went to the park to get some air, and he was there, just behind me in line at a drink kiosk. We ended up walking and talking for a while. But I don’t think anyone else can see him.”
“What happened when you parted ways?” Professor Hong asked. She was leaning in toward the screen now.
“He went back in the direction we’d come,” Claire said. “And then some light hit him, and he disappeared. Not like I lost track of him. He was just gone.”
“Hmm,” Professor Hong said again. “Give me a moment, please.”
She went offscreen, then came back with a lit incense stick in a small glass bottle. Professor Hong then closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, drawing the smoke straight in.
Claire frowned. This was what she might have expected from an internet psychic, but not a respected academic. What the hell?
But Professor Hong sat like that for nearly five minutes without moving. Claire fidgeted with the hotel pen. Then she checked several times to make sure the internet connection was still good and the screen hadn’t frozen. Everything was working, though; the incense continued to sway and stream into the professor in a steady, if languorous, flow.
Am I supposed to be doing something, too? Claire thought. Closing her eyes and thinking about…what? Maybe she was supposed to focus on Matías?
Just as Claire was about to try that, Professor Hong’s eyes fluttered open.
“Did you, uh, have any visions?” Claire asked.
The professor smiled. “Oh, that wasn’t a trance or anything supernatural.” She raised the bottle with the smoking stick. “Just eucalyptus aromatherapy. I have a photographic memory, but sometimes I need a smell to help me focus as I flip through the mental files of all the research I’ve done.”
Claire didn’t know what to say. She felt stupid for thinking the professor had gone into some kind of New Age hypnotic state. And she’d never met anyone with a truly photographic memory. The fact that Professor Hong had enough research on the subject to riffle through made Claire feel a lot better that maybe this thing with the vision of Matías was real and she hadn’t lost her marbles.
“I believe Matías is looking for you,” Professor Hong said.
Claire frowned. “But I’m right here. I went to the hospital straight from the airport yesterday and then again this morning as soon as I was awake.”
“Yes, but he’s looking for you in a different way. What you saw was what we call an astral projection. But I think you are already familiar with the concept because that’s why you reached out to me, isn’t it?”
“Right.”
“Matías is lost,” Professor Hong said. “His soul needs something to focus on, to hold on to—similar to how I use the stream of eucalyptus scent—and I believe that something is you.”
Claire shook her head. “But from my conversation with him yesterday and today, that version of Matías is from a year ago. He doesn’t even know me yet.”
Professor Hong closed her eyes again, but she wasn’t gone in her mental file cabinet as long this time. She reopened them a minute later and said, “Here’s what the evidence suggests. Matías’s physical body is in Madrid right now, so that is why his soul is there, too. But his soul is also lost, stuck in his own subconscious. To make sense of being in Madrid, his soul has retreated into the memories from the last time Matías was in the city—one year ago.
“But,” Professor Hong said, “a place is not enough to tie a soul to reality. You are his soul’s connection with this world, and you must make him stay. Based on the academic research, as well as on your actual relationship, I believe you must make sure Matías falls in love with you.”
Claire furrowed her brows. “He already does love me, though.”
The professor shook her head. “In his waking life, Matías loves you. But now that he’s unconscious, his soul is confused. This version of Matías doesn’t know about the accident, and he doesn’t realize he’s separated from his body. And he doesn’t know you, because you were not part of his life one year ago.”
Claire winced, even though it was true.
“Right now,” Professor Hong said, “you are a stranger to him, just another part of this ‘world’ his soul has constructed to make sense of his surroundings. But you are also his anchor in the real world, and the only way for him to return here. If you can get this version of Matías to fall in love with you, then he will be tugged back toward his body, toward reality, so he can truly be with you.”
“This is a lot.”
“I know.”
“I’m not sure if I believe it.”
“I know that, too. But there’s a reason you emailed me, a scientist of parapsychological phenomena, rather than a psychic or medium, right? Clearly, you have already accepted that you saw some sort of vision of Matías. So you emailed me because if I could back up what you saw with proof that such phenomena have been documented before, then that would give you enough rational basis to move forward. Am I correct?”
“Yes…” Claire said, letting the logic sink in.
“Well, I have enough research to substantiate my theory. And to tell you that you are not imagining things.”
Claire massaged her temples, thinking. After a few moments, she shook her head and asked, “How do I make a soul fall in love with me?”
“The same way you two fell in love the first time.”
Professor Hong said it nonchalantly, as if it were easy. But Claire and Matías’s first meeting had been serendipitous. They’d had an extraordinary beginning and got caught up in the momentum of their circumstances.
If Claire had to re-create their relationship again from scratch, would they even work?
Boring and uninspired . That’s what Glenn had said of Claire. She was methodical and reliable, which made her a good attorney, but not the most exciting woman to date. Matías loved her, but sometimes she didn’t understand why. Her daily schedule was mapped out by tenths of an hour (billable increments for the firm), whereas Matías marched to whatever rhythm that day asked of him, ready for an adventure or a tangent of curiosity at any time. They were opposites, and…
I don’t know if I’m enough .
“I must warn you,” Professor Hong said, “that astral projections are very fragile. Souls are wispy, sometimes skittish things. You must be careful not to touch him because you will go right through him.”
“Okay.”
“And Claire, you absolutely cannot tell Matías what is going on with his body and the hospital, not until he’s ready. Do you understand?”
She shook her head. “Why not?”
“His soul is very tenuously tethered to reality, and the revelation that the soul is not actually Matías might be too much.”
“Okay…But how will I know when he’s ready?”
“I don’t know,” Professor Hong said. “Perhaps when he’s fallen so thoroughly in love with you that he would walk through fire—or other planes of existence—to be with you. But remember: You are the only thing tethering his soul to life. If that connection breaks…”
Claire choked back a sob. “Matías will die?”
“I hate to say it, but yes,” Professor Hong said. “You will lose Matías forever.”