Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
No Time Like Right Effing Now
GHOST
B ack in my quiet room, I struggled to piece together all the feelings crashing around inside me. It had been odd, seeing my parents again like that—happy, young. Alive. We’d lost them in our late teens, and Uncle Marvin had become truly crucial in our lives after that point. Not as a guardian—thankfully, we were old enough to look after ourselves—but as a guiding light of sorts.
It was hard sometimes, thinking of them gone. But the message my great uncle had left us with was equally hard to process. That the real treasure was connection with other people.
How long had I cut myself off as completely as I possibly could? How long had I been avoiding that very thing in a misguided attempt at self-protection after what had happened that day in the Pacific?
Of course it hadn’t worked. I realized this as I stared out the back window at the bottom of the resort’s ski mountain. There were a few guests enjoying the patio and the fire pits, but the resort was quieter than it had been in weeks. And it was in that silence and stillness that I most felt what the place had been like when my uncle was here. I felt the magic he’d talked about.
Because it really was here. I knew that.
I’d watched most of my friends stumble their way into love after coming to stay in Kasper Ridge. Our family of friends had grown and expanded, and now it included a whole new generation. Kasper Ridge babies, I thought to myself, smiling.
Beyond the vague disappointment I felt at having finally concluded the treasure hunt without a physical treasure I could hold in my hands, I felt relief.
The hunt had been the thing tying me to this place after it was up and running. Sure, we still had a wing of rooms to refurbish, but at this point, the resort wasn’t running in the red. It was a well-known destination, had been written up in numerous travel magazines, and thanks to CeeCee and Douggie Masters and his YouTube channel, it had even been on television.
The place didn’t need me anymore.
The question now was what did I need?
Emily came to mind as I contemplated my next steps. I knew there was something real between us—that it had evolved beyond convenience and we were blocked somehow. We didn’t talk about the future, about what would happen beyond this place. Part of that was me. I’d felt tied to the resort for as long as the hunt was going on, and because I didn’t know where else to go, really. But I knew part of it was her.
She was gorgeous and brilliant, empathetic and sweet. She was everything I wanted...but there was still something standing between us. As much as I wanted to ask her about tomorrow, to press to see if maybe we had a future together, that enigmatic thing was the same thing keeping me from doing so.
I fell into bed that night with a troubled mind and a heart mired in confusion. Uncle Marvin’s message should have been clarifying. One big mystery was solved, gone from my life. I had everything I’d wanted—peace, solidity, security.
But I didn’t feel settled at all.
And when the dreams came, they were all of Jake Schaeffer—his easy smile, his genuine kindness. His plane sinking forever into the dark, cold depths of the sea. I’d been responsible for the death of a good man. And when I woke in the morning, I realized that was something I’d need to come to terms with or it would haunt me forever.
The morning was bright and the light shafting through my windows managed to dispel some of the darkness I’d gathered to me after watching the movie and dreaming about the accident.
I shook myself and dressed, and then I texted Emily, who said she had already headed down to breakfast. As I approached the restaurant, I heard her laughter, and slowed my pace. I moved into the doorway, scanning the space, and found her seated at a table with Monroe and Penny, Wiley and Antonio, eating and talking. They were engrossed in whatever they were discussing, and no one spotted me lingering by the door for a moment.
She fit in so perfectly here. She was so at home.
And watching her with my friends—my family—sent all the uncertainties within me skittering away.
She fit here. We fit together. And whatever strange block I felt was keeping us apart was probably just another symptom of my own emotional issues. Things I was finished dwelling upon, things I wanted to put away.
“Hey guys,” I said, stepping closer.
My friends turned and smiled, Antonio rising to pull another chair to the table for me.
“Morning,” Emily said, her voice soft as our eyes met. Her sweet gaze warmed me, sent the remainder of my doubts fluttering away.
“Good morning,” I said, leaning down to kiss her cheek, no longer worried about my friends witnessing these small displays. I was proud of her, proud to be with her. “Did you sleep well?”
“I did,” she said, and I noticed hesitation in her words. Her gaze cooled a bit. “Can we chat for a second?”
Worry seeped into the happy warmth I’d been feeling. “Yeah, of course.” She slid her hand in mine and we walked out to the quiet lobby, dropping onto a bench against the wall. “What’s going on?”
“I need to tell you that I’m leaving. I lost track of the date, and my parents are going to be expecting me for the holiday.”
I’d lost track of time too. Of course she needed to be with her family for the holiday. “Oh.” I’d known she would go, but I’d just hoped we would discuss the future first.
“My mom always makes a big deal about it,” she said, watching her hands twist in her lap. What was happening here?
“Of course, yeah. We have a big dinner to put on here too,” I said, realizing that if I was going to tell her how I felt, I’d have to do it now. “When’s the shuttle?”
“Three o’clock. My flight’s a red-eye tonight, but it looked like another storm might be heading in and I didn’t want to get stuck.”
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” I said, figuring honesty was the best place to begin.
Emily’s eyes held mine then, and there was something inscrutable in her expression—longing. Desire. But also something sad that sent a little spike of worry through me. “I know,” she said softly. “Me too.”
I needed to tell her. To let her know there was a choice. I took a deep breath and plunged forward.
“Listen, Emily. I want you to know how glad I am that we met.”
“Me too.”
“But more than that...all the stuff Uncle Marvin said in the film last night. About magic, and love, and family. I’ve felt it for a while, I think. About you.”
Emily was smiling softly, shaking her head slowly, as if trying to stop me from saying the words.
“I’m falling in love with you, Emily. I think maybe since we first met. There’s just something familiar and comforting about you, the way we are together. But also, something so exciting and intriguing—I feel like I could spend years trying to learn you and you could still surprise me.”
“Archie—” There was a note of hesitation in her voice. Maybe I should have let her talk, but something inside me broke loose. Things I’d never imagined saying were suddenly coming out of me in a flood.
“I honestly didn’t think I’d ever feel this way,” I told her, taking her hand. “I thought I was broken, or that maybe the universe had a different plan for me, that maybe love wasn’t something I deserved after...everything.”
“Archie, stop.” Emily’s eyes were shining now, and she squeezed my hand and then pulled hers away. She was shaking, a tear breaking loose and rolling down her cheek. This wasn’t the reaction I’d been expecting.
I could see by the drop of her eyes, the sorrowful lines of her mouth, that she had something else to say. Something I didn’t want to hear. She didn’t feel the same way. I braced myself for the pain.
“I need to tell you something,” she said, not meeting my eyes. “And I’m not sure what you’ll think of me after you know.” Emily’s entire posture had stiffened as if she was bracing herself to deliver these words.
“What?” I couldn’t think of anything she might tell me that would matter. Was she married? Involved with someone else? I was sure that wasn’t it. I issued silent prayers to the universe that it was nothing. That it wouldn’t matter at all. “What is it?” I was sure there was nothing she could say that would alter how I felt, but clearly this affected how she felt.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you. About why I came up here. About who I am.” Her eyes wouldn’t meet mine, and I felt the distance between us expanding as she shrunk into herself.
“Who you are? You came for the conference...you’re a writer.” My brain was struggling to match a rhythm with my heart. “What do you mean?” Time stood still as I waited for whatever it was that Emily needed to say.