Chapter 11
“Elowyn!”
Elowyn shot upright at the bellow that must have echoed through the whole house.
She met the wide eyes of Isadora and Persephone.
All three of them scrambled from the bed and rushed from the chamber.
Her brother had never called her name in such a way.
Not even when he was at his most furious.
Something must have happened. Something that warranted such a heartfelt roar.
This could only be about one thing.
She dashed down the stairwell, friends in tow, but came to an abrupt halt on the last step as a horrible sight filled her vision.
The Duke of Mandeville on the floor, held up by the collar by her brother, face bloodied to a pulp.
Her eyes flew to her brother, ready to scold him, but the sight of his equally pummeled face had her swallowing all her harsh words for a heart-stuttering second.
Then she demanded, “What did you do, Zachary? You promised to leave him alone!”
At her voice, Mandeville lifted his face with a bloody grin. “Elowyn.”
“Lord,” Persephone muttered behind her. “Has he lost his mind?”
“I didn’t seek him out,” Zachary defended. “I ran into him at White’s. He bloody outright taunted me.”
Mandeville taunted her brother? Why in the world would he do that? “Carry him to the drawing room, right now!” She pointed to a hovering footman. “Get me the medicine chest.”
“Yes, my lady.” The man scurried off.
“I’m not carrying him,” her brother protested, releasing the duke with a look of distaste.
Mandeville pushed to his feet. “Not letting you carry me either, Price. I’ll walk my damn self.”
“You’re here to apologize to my sister and beg her damn forgiveness,” Zachary growled. “You’re not walking anywhere.”
“Zachary!”
She glanced over her shoulder at her friends.
Isadora nodded. “Understood.”
“Don’t you dare turn your friends on me,” Zachary commanded, already looking half-panicked.
Elowyn glared at her brother. “Since you brought this mess to my feet, I shall be the one to handle it from here on out.”
“I deserve that,” Mandeville muttered.
Elowyn ignored the man for now, pointing a finger at her brother. “Give us a moment. I’ll clean his face and Isadora and Persephone can decide what to do with you in the morning room.”
She shot Mandeville a pointed look before sweeping into the drawing room and, really, let him follow if he was determined to apologize. Of course, he followed. The footman came at once with the medicine box and a bowl of water, setting it on the table with an air of frightened haste.
“Shut the door,” Elowyn called after him.
The footman complied, much to the chagrin of Zachary, who let out several foul curses but didn’t object further.
Elowyn waited until she heard her friends usher her brother away before crossing her arms, staring into those amber eyes which seemed neither hot nor cold at the moment, but rather, in pain.
Her unfaithful heart clenched. He looked a sight.
Besides the bruises and blood, his hair was in disarray, his clothes rumpled, and a few days of stubble coated his jaw.
He looked nothing like the cold duke from before.
What had he gone through these past few days? A war?
She gritted her teeth against softening.
“There is nothing you need apologize for,” she said. “So why are you here? I don’t believe my brother is strong enough to make the mighty, ruthless Mandeville do something he didn’t want to do.”
Mandeville groaned. “I have a lot to apologize for.”
Elowyn shook her head. “I was the one to ask we keep our distance and you agreed. Like I said, you have nothing to apologize for.” She had played her own part in all the encounters between them.
Only, she hadn’t been able to guard her heart.
“I still have your jacket. Do you wish it returned?” That was the last piece she was still holding onto.
“Yes.”
She nodded, her heart throbbing all over again.
“But only because you wore it, so I want to wear it every day for the rest of my life.”
Elowyn blinked at the man, her cheeks growing hot. What was he even saying? “That’s . . . Don’t be dramatic.”
“I’m being entirely serious.”
Her breath caught, which she was determined to ignore.
She didn’t want to ask why even though her entire being burned to know.
What if the answer was just as ridiculous as his statement and she gained a sliver of hope only for it to be snatched away?
She retrieved a cloth from the medicine chest, wet it in the bowl, and tossed it at his chest. “Clean the blood of your face.”
Obediently, he wiped his face, and her heart nearly did melt there and then. His eyes met hers again when he finished.
Elowyn sighed and reached for a clean cloth and the small bottle of spirits, then crossed to him with unsteady legs. The nearer she came, the stronger the reek of alcohol grew, and she wrinkled her nose when she stopped in front of him. “What did you do? Drink all the liquor in London?”
“I certainly tried.”
She scoffed, dabbing the cloth in spirits and then at the cut on his cheek. He didn’t so much as flinch. “Just how foxed are you?”
“Sadly, not a whit.”
“Then why did you taunt Zachary?” The duke she knew was too distant to provoke anyone needlessly. Not without gain. “What did you hope to achieve?”
“To see you again.”
She paused, frowning at the man before pressing on the cut harder, causing him to hiss. “You could have just called on me if you wanted to see me.” Why did he have to go through all that trouble? And why did her heart feel absurdly pleased? The throb all but disappeared.
“Would you have received me?”
He sounded so aggrieved she wanted to punch him. Of course she would have received him! “I would have considered it.”
A beat of silence passed before he admitted softly, “I didn’t have the damn confidence.”
“To apologize?” Elowyn didn’t know what to think anymore. This was a side she hadn’t seen from him before.
“To say I love you.”
The cloth dropped from her fingers. “I beg your pardon?” Had she heard him correctly? She glanced around to ask if anyone else had heard him, but they were the only ones in the drawing room. Flustered, she met his gaze again.
Those eyes blazed once more. “I love you, wildflower.”
She shook her head, retreating a few steps, then turned on her heel and marched off, only to whirl back almost at once. “Impossible. You don’t love me.” This couldn’t be real. He couldn’t be confessing.
“It’s the most possible thing in the world. I love you more than life itself.”
She shook her head again. “When? How?”
He rose to his feet, eyes never leaving her.
“How can I not? I loved you from the first moment I saw you. Forgive a man for being a fool, Elowyn. I made so many mistakes. I stole your first kiss and your first dance, though I can’t bring myself to regret it.
Even if you hate me, can you please give me a chance to steal your heart, too? ”
Elowyn couldn’t hold back anymore.
All her defenses died.
She rushed up to him and flung herself into his arms. Perhaps she was mad, but she’d be mad with this madman. “You cold barbarian.” His arms circled her, catching her without so much as a grunt even though she knew he must be hurting. “I loathe you to death.”
***
Julien laughed. Relief had never outweighed regret like this. Not even with every step of revenge he took. “I’ll take that, love. I’ll damn well take that.”
She loved him.
She bloody loved him.
Even after what he’d done. Looking like hell. And his body in cursed pain.
Her arms tightened fractionally before she moved to let him go, but there was not a chance in hell he would allow that.
Not when he’d only just gotten her into his arms. He didn’t give her the chance.
The instant her arms loosened, he caught her closer, one hand sliding to her back as if to keep her locked against him, the other at her jaw.
He bent and took her mouth in a kiss that was all hunger and disbelief.
He wanted to devour her. Meld her into him until they were one and could never part again for any reason.
Without meaning to, and without words, she had claimed every demon lodged in his soul.
He deepened the kiss, and for a moment, she followed his lead, before she pushed at his chest, wrenching her lips away. She glared at him, stepping out from his embrace, panting. He captured her wrist gently so she couldn’t go far.
“What’s wrong, love?”
“I can’t believe you kissed me in a drawing room. Again. My brother is nearby!”
Ah, setting. He pulled her closer to him. “Not the perfect spot?”
“No!”
“Then have you thought about the perfect spot yet?” She’d better not have. He drew her back to him fully. “Because anywhere where you are is the perfect setting for me.”
Her lips parted and closed as she stared unblinkingly up at him. “You . . . Where have you been hiding this side of you?”
Julien cupped her cheek. “He only comes out for you.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Silver-tongued devil.”
“It’s the truth, love.”
Those beautiful blue eyes narrowed, and he loved the way she scrutinized him. “You have some explaining to do.”
“I know,” Julien said softly. But where to bloody start.
She seemed to have read his mind, for she said, “Just start with the truest thing about you.”
The truest thing? That was also the most horrible thing. His fingers tightened around her wrist, and her brows furrowed slightly.
“Is it so impossible to say?”
“No.” Not to her. Now that he had her, no matter what, he wasn’t letting her go. “My mother was murdered by a man who fell in love with her.”
His wildflower gasped, but he forged on, or he might not be able to finish.
“A childhood friend, if you will. More like the son of a servant and the daughter of an earl forming an unlikely friendship. He fell in love, perhaps they both did, but her parents engaged her to my father, and so far as I can tell, she never regretted her decision to follow the directions of her family.”
Christ. How many years had passed since he’d spoken about this?
“He killed her the year I turned ten,” Julien said softly, chest tightening as flashes of memory resurfaced. “The matter was swept under the rug to avoid a scandal. I witnessed everything.”
“Julien . . .”
“I knelt by her side and tried to save her. I sat pooled in her blood for hours before my father and grandfather found us. That is the last memory I have of her.”
“That’s . . . horrible . . . I can’t even imagine . . .”
“This is the business I was talking about, love. They buried the matter along with her body, letting her murderer off. They had their heir. But I never forgot. And I’ve been planning my mother’s vengeance for years.
” He’d planned to hide this part of him, but he couldn’t bring himself to keep the truth from her.
The truth of him. She deserved all parts of him, just like he wanted all parts of her.
“I’m so sorry . . . That’s why you came to me? The matter would have put your revenge at risk?”
He nodded.
“Wait,” her eyes widened, “so that man is now in business where even something going amiss with your dealings can put it at risk?”
“Unfortunately.” She shook her head, and he caught her face between both his palms. “Though I do love your confidence in my dealings.” He smiled at her pointed look before saying seriously. “I had to become a man, and he became more powerful. But that’s all in the past.”
“What do you mean?” she whispered.
Julien gave a nod. “Revenge and love don’t go hand in hand, wildflower.” If he killed Silkin with his bare hands, he would sully Elowyn, too.
She reared back. “You’re giving up your revenge for me? No! You can’t let your plans fall through for me!”
“For you, I’ll give up every grievance. Every revenge.
Everything.” And by God, those words were freeing.
So. Damn. Freeing. Perhaps he was a man that could change after all.
“Don’t look so stricken, love. Perhaps I always wanted to give up.
” Honestly, his damn heart was a mess. “There were a thousand different ways I could have handled the matter. I chose to approach you. In fact, I couldn’t stay away.
” He still couldn’t. “Who knows, a part of me might have known this would happen the moment I first saw you.”
“Urgh. How can you say such sweet things at a time like this, you beast. He killed your mother . . . You deserve justice.”
His whole body warmed at her words.
“What was your plan?” she asked suddenly, a glint entering her gaze.
No. Absolutely not. “Elowyn . . .”
“Ah, so something savage.” She smiled at him. “There are a thousand ways to get revenge. You don’t need to compromise your morals.”
They had been compromised a long time ago. A thought suddenly pushed into his head and wrenched there. Julien chuckled. “A fanciful notion, but perhaps my mother put you on my path. I don’t know. I only know I can’t face a future without your smile.”
She scoffed. “Just my smile?”
“Every part of you. The meaning of our moments might have started with business, love.” His thumb traced her cheekbone.
“But somewhere between then and now, it became the truest thing I have. They, you, are so damn meaningful that I scarce have breath to describe how precious they are to me. You are already the best moments of my life, love. What’s revenge in the face of all that? ”
“There’s only one problem,” she said softly, placing her hands over his, which still cupped her face. “I won’t let the man I love with all my heart not get justice for himself. Don’t you dare give up. Go get your revenge. And if I can, I would love nothing more than to help you.”
Christ. What she did to him.
The man I love with all my heart.
“I meant it, you know. Every word. I’d give it all up.”
“I know.” Her eyes were fierce. “That’s exactly why I won’t let you.”
Wrath had been right.
He could climb out. But only with her at his side. For always.