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76

From: Ginger Davies

To: Rhys Baker

Subject: News

They gave me the loan! I can hardly believe it after so many weeks of filling out forms and jumping through hoops. Did I tell you I hate banks? They’re horrible places, with those cold marble floors, the greedy looks on the faces of the tellers, the way they size you up depending on how much money you have in your account…

The important thing is, it’s done. It’s real! I’m going to start a publishing company, Rhys! I’m floating on air. I owe it all to my father; he ended up cosigning for me.

What are you up to? How’s everything?

From: Rhys Baker

To: Ginger Davies

Subject: RE: News

Congratulations, Ginger Snap!

I’m so happy for you. It’s going to be brilliant, even if it’s hard at first. Everything is, isn’t it? You’ll get used to it little by little. If you need more money, you know I’m here for you. As for your father, was he happy about it? I’m glad he finally came around…

I’m the same as always. They’ve offered me the same gig next summer with more perks. I guess I’ll say yes.

From: Ginger Davies

To: Rhys Baker

Subject: RE: RE: News

I can’t say Dad took it well exactly, but he’s accepted it. We met for lunch, just the two of us. I showed him the business plan, told him all my ideas, and I guess he realized the project actually matters to me. He spent a long time looking it over with his reading glasses—he only puts them on when it’s important. Then he put it back down on the table, took a deep breath, and asked me what I needed to start. It was nice, nothing sappy. I know it was a disappointment to him that neither of his daughters wanted to take over the company he loves so much, but I guess he’ll get used to it. He wasn’t exactly overjoyed about me spending the whole summer with you either.

So are you going to take the job?

From: Rhys Baker

To: Ginger Davies

Subject: Why?

What’s your dad’s issue with me? He barely even knows me; why should he care? He just met me that one time at Christmas, and we barely exchanged a word.

Yeah, I took the deal. Contract signed. I’ll stay here.

From: Ginger Davies

To: Rhys Baker

Subject: RE: Why?

It’s not personal, Rhys. He’s always been leery like that. I think he liked Dean because he’s known him since he was in diapers and there was no dirty laundry to air out. By the way, I didn’t tell you yet, but Stella’s pregnant. I’m going to be some kind of substitute aunt for my ex-boyfriend’s baby. It’s great. I’m actually excited for it to be born. I love how babies smell. I must be crazy, right? It’s true though. Nothing else smells like that. It just makes you want to cuddle them.

From: Rhys Baker

To: Ginger Davies

Subject: A little…

Yeah, you do sound a little crazy…

Honestly, I have no idea what a baby smells like. I don’t remember the last time I was even around a baby. It must be years. I think there’s a mutual repulsion there. Or else they’re just not part of my environment. I don’t know. Anyway, I’m happy for them. I guess Dean is becoming the typical good guy from the movies, following the plan from A to B to C. I think about that sometimes. How easy it would have been to do the same.

From: Ginger Davies

To: Rhys Baker

Subject: RE: A little…

What are you talking about, Rhys?

Tomorrow I’ll give you an update on everything with the publishing company. I’ve barely slept all week, I’ve been working without stopping, but it’s been worth it! I’m about to go to dinner with Donna—and with my new coworker! (I love keeping you in the dark.) My sister said we had to do it up, so we’re going to Pizza Pilgrims in Kingly Court. I swear they make the best pizzas in all of London. I’ll take you if you ever come back some day. Also, Donna says hi. She just told me if I don’t shut my computer, she’s going to take it away and throw it out the window. Kisses and more kisses, Rhys. I’ll give you more details if you do the same.

From: Rhys Baker

To: Ginger Davies

Subject: No good

Your new coworker? You just say that and leave me hanging? Whatever, I’ll get my revenge at some point. But I want details, so I’ll try to do a better job saying what I mean.

What I was talking about in my last email was Dean and the life he’s living. You know, college, job, girlfriend, marriage, children. He must have bought a house too, right? So there you go. We talked about this a while back. I could have had a life like that probably. On paper it looks easy. But then, maybe it’s not. Anyway, it’s not for me. But when I see everyone else doing it, it makes me ask myself questions. Stupid shit. Like whether or not I’m wrong. Or still worse, if I’ll even think the same way in a few years.

I wonder sometimes. What’s going to happen. What I’ll be doing with my life in the future. I can’t see it. That’s the problem. Everything’s blurry.

I envy you sometimes, Ginger. You know what you want. You did even before you finished college, before you left the cabinet company; it was just that you didn’t have the courage yet. I guess it scares me too, just in a different way. Because of my vertigo…and it’s hard for me to jump when I don’t know what’s waiting for me at the bottom. It may not look that way, but it is. We should be born with an instruction manual under our arm, right? Everything would be easier that way. I’ve never understood people who say life’s easy. How so? I find it complicated. Decisions, feelings. Then there are the questions we all have to ask ourselves: Who am I? Where did I come from? What am I doing here? Why am I in this world? Whatever, don’t pay any attention to me.

Tell me how everything’s going at the publisher.

Hopefully we can share a pizza there one day. Remember the one we had in Ibiza at the restaurant on the beach?

From: Ginger Davies

To: Rhys Baker

Subject: RE: No good

I didn’t expect this when I told you to open up to me. Jeez, Rhys, I don’t know where to start. I’m answering you now, and tonight I’ll write you another email when I’m more relaxed, okay? So…let’s see… Sometimes I don’t know how to respond to you. I hate that. But I’m not sure if you’ll like what I have to say. And it’s this: I don’t think everyone asks themselves those questions. Can you really imagine Dean having an existential crisis? Asking himself who he is, where he comes from, or what he’s doing here? No. It’s way simpler than that, even if you can’t see it. But I like that about you. You’re different.

I also understand that it confuses you.

And I understand…that until you find certain answers, you can’t move forward, and the future looks blurry. And I hope you do find those answers, Rhys.

PS: It’s impossible to forget that pizza. Mmmm. You can’t see me, but I’m licking my lips as I think back on it.

From: Rhys Baker

To: Ginger Davies

Subject: What an idiot

I overdid it yesterday, right? I’m an idiot. I didn’t think you’d take my words so much to heart. I’m fine, Ginger. I’m happy. We don’t all want the same thing, that’s it.

I’m dying to know more about the publisher.

From: Ginger Davies

To: Rhys Baker

Subject: Moving ahead

Okay, are you ready? Yes? No? I’m going to be working with Kate! Remember her? My roommate my last year of college? I don’t think you met her when you came to visit me, but anyway, it stressed me out so much to think about having to spend so many hours with a stranger, coming to agreements, always being on the same page…so I thought, Wait, Kate is amazing with business, she always has tons of incredible ideas, and she’s working in a damn burger place! So I decided to call her. We hadn’t talked in ages. The last time was when I told her Dean was getting married. (I nearly die from embarrassment every time I think of it.) Then we kind of lost touch. You know, the summer with you and all that.

Conclusion: she said yes! She loves my idea. She still remembered my final project, and she’s excited to move to London, especially because Donna and I agreed to rent her Michael’s old room in the apartment. So everything’s flowing smoothly. I’m so happy, Rhys! We’re looking for the perfect office, and Kate will handle negotiations with the distributors and interview our freelancers. She can be serious, even intimidating if she needs to be. And let’s be honest, that’s not really me. I’d probably want to start peeing as soon as the meeting started, and I’d cry if the person said no or we couldn’t make a good deal. Or maybe not, but either way, I’d prefer to deal more with the actual publishing like…finding THE PROJECT!

For now, I don’t have anything special in mind. I’ve looked at a few authors I like, some self-published, others who have been around awhile, but they don’t feel like the ones I want to launch with; they’re more for something long-term, you know? What I want now is something different. Something striking.

But that’s enough about me. Tell me how things are in your world. I assume Ibiza’s calmer in October, right?

From: Rhys Baker

To: Ginger Davies

Subject: So happy about your progress

Brilliant, Ginger. I really mean it. Way better than starting off with someone you barely know. It’ll be easier this way, even when you disagree about something. You’ll know how to deal with the problems better. I’m so happy everything’s coming together.

As far as your launch…you’ll definitely come up with something. And you’re right, it needs to be striking. You need to get the attention of booksellers and the media. It’s not easy. But you can start slow; that’s fine, right?

Yeah, things are calmer here now that the summer season is over. But I got invited to a festival in November, and I’m also working out some details for a New Year’s Eve gig. I’ll keep you informed.

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