Chapter One
I have a confession.
You can keep a secret, right?
I don’t usually wear stilettos.
Or pasties.
Or a mirror finish, fire engine red lip gloss called “Bad Decisions.”
At least, not while I’m Ellie, the prim and proper auditor who works in the mayor’s office.
She wears sweater sets, sensible shoes, and maybe a touch of tinted moisturizer if she has to dress to impress for an important meeting.
That girl never met a rule she didn’t follow to the absolute letter.
Word on the street was she was sweet but far too uptight.
Let them think that. They didn’t know the other side of me. And they never would.
Once I clocked out and kicked off those clunky, sensible shoes, I became Synamon Honey, queen of the Only Bears platform. I’d recently gone viral after live streaming myself eating a peach cobbler while moaning the names of all the fans in my top tier.
When I was Synamon, all bets, and most of my clothes, were off. Rules? Syn never met one she didn’t bend until it snapped in half. She was wild, free, and in total control of her sexuality.
Tonight, I had my very first live performance. My most loyal fans had paid top dollar—up to five times the face value—to come see me live on stage at The Redheaded Stepchild in Sawtooth Forest.
My face was painted silver, with a crescent moon over my left eye and signature red lips. My costume consisted of pasties, a tiny plaid schoolgirl skirt, fishnets, and sky-high stilettos. A wavy black wig that went all the way down my back covered my mousy brown hair.
“You can do this,” I whispered to myself in the mirror. “They’ll never know who you really are.”
As much as I loved being Synamon, I had a reason for digging my claws into my boring government job. This brush with fame was so much fun, but it couldn’t possibly last. And it certainly didn’t come with a full benefit package or a pension.
Stop holding yourself back, my bear groaned. The sky’s the limit for Synamon. Tonight’s just a taste.
Syn knew she was right, but Ellie was scared shitless.
A knock on the door made me jump in my seat. Sawtooth Forest was too close to Boise for comfort. Someone who knew me in real life could totally be here. But it was just my best friend, Jen, who was the only person in Boise who would ever know about my secret identity.
“You look so fierce.” She covered her mouth with her hand as she took in my stage outfit. “Like you’re not even the same person.”
“Good.” I could hear the crowd chanting my name in the distance. “Is it time to go on?”
“Almost.” Jen volunteered to act as my manager for the event. Her job description? Handle the details and keep me from freaking out, not necessarily in that order. “Listen, there’s something I’ve got to tell you—”
My heart sank. “Don’t tell me the mayor’s here.”
Or worse, my ex...
She scoffed. “Are you kidding? He’d burst into flames the second he walked through the door.
” But then her expression turned serious.
“I’ve been watching your Only Bears account to see what your fans are saying about the show.
Figured you could use some of it in your promo.
But some of them—there’s no way to sugarcoat this, are being total creeps.
I needed to scrub my phone with bleach after reading those comments. So I hired a security guard.”
My mouth dropped. My head was already spinning with the reality of going on stage any second.
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask who was being creepy.
If this was a live stream, I’d give them a playful tongue lashing.
But it was a live performance, and the thought of it sent a shiver down my bare spine.
Jen didn’t scare easily, which was why I asked her to help me tonight. She had no problem speaking her mind. So if someone had freaked her out enough to hire security…wait, how much did security cost? The paycheck for my performance tonight was pretty sweet, but it wasn’t hire security sweet.
All those thoughts went out the window when my bodyguard walked in.
The least she could’ve done was warned me he’d be smokin’ hot. Like six-foot-four, black T-shirt straining against muscles, growls with every breath hot.
His gaze swept over me and my ovaries threatened to explode.
“My name’s Brad,” he said, offering his hand. His gaze scanned the room, like he thought there could be a threat in here. “I’ll be sticking close all night long.”
The dude was taking his assignment way too seriously, and I hadn’t decided if it was adorable or terrifying.
“Synamon.” A bolt of electricity shot through me as my hand touched his.
He can’t possibly be my mate.
I swallowed hard. This was not the time to catch feelings.
“You’re my bodyguard?” I added.
“That’s what they tell me.” The corner of his mouth curled into a grin. “I’ve heard about you.”
“Have you watched her livestreams on Only Bears?” Jen asked eagerly, breaking the spell.
He shook his head. I breathed a sigh of relief. The whole reason Synamon Honey worked was no one knew who I was.
“That’s okay,” I said playfully. Synamon would never be too terrified to flirt. “I’ve never had a bodyguard before, either.”
“Most people haven’t,” he said gruffly, almost all business, but he was still holding my hand. “No one will know I’m here. Unless they have to.”
But I knew he was here.
The club manager came up behind Brad. “Ms. Honey, we’re ready for you.”
I let out a long exhale, but it wasn’t enough to make me relax. “I’ll be right out.”
“Okay, last minute check,” Jen patted my dressing table frantically and then borderline assaulted me with a powder puff. “Do you have absolutely everything you need?”
My gaze was magnetized to Brad’s. “Now I do.”
Static cracked, and Brad let go of my hand, pressing those rough, calloused fingertips to his earpiece. He gave a curt nod and then his gaze was back on mine, warming me like the sun. “I’ll be watching you. Wow. That sounded better in my head. I meant—I’ll make sure no one touches you.”
He closed his eyes and sighed.
The big bear wasn’t only gorgeous, he was awkward too, which put him into adorable territory. But cute as he was, there was no hiding this bear had bite.
“Thank you. I know you’re gonna be the best bodyguard I ever had,” I said.
“El-Synamon.” Jen’s face turned as crimson as my lips as she caught her slip up. “We need to do a touchup before you go on stage.”
Brad nodded and headed out the door.
I stood there staring at it after it closed like I forgot how to move.
“What the hell was that?” Jen scream-whispered as she whacked me in the face with the powder puff.
“Careful.” I ducked away from her to miss the next love pat from the puff. “You mean, the guy you hired?”
“Of course I mean the guy I hired.” She came between me and the door, and cautioned a quick look over her shoulder, like she expected Brad or moon knew who else to appear. “The two of you, the way you were looking at each other.”
So I didn’t imagine it. “I was just getting into character.”
She crossed her arms defiantly across her chest. “Then what was he doing?”
“His job, Jen.” I took a step toward her, but she didn’t budge. “And I should go do the same.”
“Ellie,” she said quickly as I turned the knob.
“You can’t call me that here,” I scolded. “Nobody can ever know who I really am.”
She nodded in apology. “Just be careful out there, okay? You’re gonna be amazing, I know it.”
I opened the door, the stage manager smiled at me, and spoke into his headset. The emcee’s voice echoed through The Redheaded Stepchild, and the applause, the anticipation grew to a frenzied pitch.
All the usual rituals I used to get into character couldn’t be applied as I strutted down the long, dark hallway. It was time to let pure instinct take over, which terrified me, because Ellie wasn’t the type of woman who left anything to chance.
You’re not Ellie tonight, my bear reminded me. You’re Synamon Honey. Time to start acting like it.
Someday, I’d stop being offended that my bear preferred my alter ego to the real me. But there was no time for hurt feelings as adrenaline pumped through my veins.
Please don’t let me shift…
These nerves, which were pure feral energy, were to be expected the very first time I stepped on a stage in front of a live audience.
I’d never even been in a school play before.
The only times I’d ever been on stage was to graduate as valedictorian of my high school class and summa cum laude from college.
But this was next level.
Stage fright wasn’t what had the butterflies in my belly training for their own version of the Olympics. It wasn’t even the chance that someone could recognize me.
It was Brad.
Something about his touch was different. Primal. Like this wasn’t just a job for him. It was a soul-led mission.
That’s because he’s your…
Nope, nope, nope, I shut that line of reasoning from my bear down immediately. Just because he was the first man I’d let get this close to me in ages without buying a subscription to my Only Bears channel didn’t mean anything.
Especially that.
And even if he was, it could never, ever work. I couldn’t possibly stay in character forever. And there was no way I planned to reveal my real identity to anyone in this building.
Why are you so insistent on protecting who you “really” are? My bear countered with an argument I hadn’t readied myself for. Ellie is more of an act than Synamon Honey…
Groaning inwardly, I cleared my thoughts by taking a deep breath. My bear had obviously been talking to Jen, who insisted I needed to go on dates as Ellie—instead of keeping every single man on earth at screen’s length.
“Redheaded Stepchild, will you please welcome Only Bears sin-sation Synamon Honey to the stage!”