Chapter Twenty-Four
We were back at the cabin like nothing had ever happened, it felt gross. We should’ve been paws on the ground in Boise, combing every inch of land for any sign of Jen. Barrett and Bellamy assured me their best bears were on the case.
But they didn’t know what I knew about my best friend.
Instead, I sat in front of the mirror in my bedroom, feeling absolutely wrecked about everything that had transpired on that trip. And I was supposed to go live on Only Bears in a matter of minutes.
The bed looked like it had been hit by a clothing tornado, but I’d decided that I was going totally stripped down today. Leather jacket, white ribbed tank with a black lace bra visible through the fabric, and ripped jeans.
This was supposed to be the video where I outed myself as Ellie, the big, bad bear that absolutely no one saw coming.
On the way home, I’d scripted my talk in my notes app.
I never scripted my videos word for word—ever.
But this one I’d given Brad to feed into a teleprompter because I was doubting absolutely everything.
Sweet moon, the absolute worst part of this was the niggling feeling in the pit of my belly that there was a chance Brad could be right with his suspicion that Nick had been lying right to our faces—or worse, that Jen was in on this.
It just didn’t make any sense. Jen was my ride or die. Always had been.
How would I be so na?ve to fall for this?
I liked to think my instincts were sharp, but who was I kidding?
I’d gotten shot by a tranq dart at Forever Home because I didn’t have the survival skills to feed myself in the wild, and I hadn’t heard the bear headed creep come into my apartment.
Twice. I couldn’t count how many times I’d replayed those moments in my mind over the last few weeks, and I’d always let myself off the hook, telling myself that I was in the zone performing, or sleeping.
But what if I’d been lying to myself way before that moment happened, and Jen wasn’t the person I thought she was?
Fuck, what if Nick had been wearing that bear head, and Jen was driving the getaway car?
My body tensed as I relived the moment once again.
I remembered his hands—it was the only distinguishing feature I saw on the man—and they had seemed old.
I remembered age spots. Nick wasn’t old, he was in his forties.
Bear Head had been strong—or maybe I’d been so caught off guard by the audacity of someone crossing the barrier I’d set in my fantasy world that I’d been that weak.
What if Nick had sent the threats that caused Jen to call Sawtooth Security? It didn’t make any sense, but that was also why it was perfect.
I closed my eyes for a long blink—I’d been trying to bring myself to do my Ellie makeup—soft, clean, completely unnoticeable—for this reveal video. But I couldn’t do it. Without the wig and makeup, the outfit looked stupid.
So I thought about the questions Brad had asked on the drive back to Sawtooth Forest. About my relationship with Nick. I’d trusted him, because he’d always been there, and he’d never made me feel like I didn’t belong, or got annoyed that I was there, or seemed threatened by our friendship.
No one considered Ellie a threat. Was that why I was struggling so hard right now, to reveal myself as Ellie when I needed my audience to pay attention the most?
Brad had also asked if Nick had acted differently after I’d broken up with Kevin. And that was hard to say because I was different. But I had definitely vented about the situation in front of Nick.
But how deep did this go? Was he the one behind that fake phone call? Would he even have access to that kind of tech?
Of course, he would. My heart sunk like a rock. Nick worked as a software engineer or developer or something with computers that I never asked that much about because he’d never gotten specific and I assumed all jobs were quietly boring.
Maybe I wasn’t the only one using the boring tools at my disposal as weapons.
I wondered if he could hack into the conversations I’d had with his wife—he probably wouldn't even need to. Jen was the type of person to share her password with her loved ones, just in case the worst-case scenario happened. I hated the irony so much. The only question was if he’d know how to pull off the deep fake.
Or if he’d orchestrated it and had Jen make the call anyway.
Those were all things for Bellamy to figure out. My job was to go live, act like a sex pot, and hope it fixed everything.
A soft knock on the door startled me out of my doom spiral, and Brad poked his gorgeous face in.
“Almost ready? It’s time.” His voice was soft and everything I needed right now.
Our gazes locked. Sweet moon, the way this man was looking at me.
Did he always look at me like this, and I’d never noticed until now? So much for instincts. It was time to admit they were non-existent.
This bear’s eyes were full of love, admiration, and something I’d realized had been sorely missing from my life—respect.
“Give me a couple minutes. They’ll wait.” I tore my gaze away.
Without my wig and facepaint, my Ellie instincts were back in full force. Ellie was in no way meek, but she moved quietly, daring people to underestimate her. And I realized that was where the Venn diagram with Synamon Honey crossed—the hair and makeup and skimpy outfits and the campy sets.
No one watched Synamon because they expected anything serious. They came to me to escape that shit.
What would happen when I stripped it all away?
* * *
Brad tipped his head with confusion when I sauntered into the living room, balls to the wall, volume turned up to eleven Synamon Honey.
“Did I miss something? Thought you were coming out as Ellie?”
Taking advantage of his surprise, I kissed him, leaving traces of Bad Decisions on his lips.
Of course he followed when I pulled away. This bear was all in. I wanted nothing more than to push him down onto the couch and forget the rest of the world existed, but instead, I pressed my hand against his muscular chest, keeping him at bay.
There was no ignoring the rapid thump of his heart. He was nervous, too.
“I need to start listening to my instincts,” I said, holding up my other hand and revealing the pack of makeup wipes. “Is the teleprompter loaded?”
He nodded. “You still wanna use it?”
“In theory, yes, but I’ll probably go off script in the first minute.”
“Whatever you do, it will be perfect.” He leaned in to steal another kiss before I could stop him.
“I wouldn’t go that far.” I chuckled nervously as I took my seat in front of the camera.
In this moment, Brad was the one who was perfect. He knew how desperately I needed someone to believe in me without me saying a word. He didn’t care that I’d shot our carefully crafted plan to total shit.
“Count me in?” I asked.
He nodded and held up his hand, lowering his fingers in what felt like slow motion.
Breathe, my bear reminded me.
“Sorry I’m late, but I had a wardrobe malfunction.
” I laughed, hoping the viewers didn’t pick up on my nerves, and let the stream of comments moving up the right side of the screen wrap around me like a hug.
I could do this. Take down the jackasses who’d stolen my family’s home and save my best friend and seduce millions of strangers at the same time.
If I was in my home studio, I could take hold of the camera and direct it at what I wanted my viewers to see.
But with the big professional equipment, there was no way to easily do it.
My hands were shaking so badly I’d topple the entire setup.
Instead, I stood, pushed my jacket back off my shoulders, and ran my hands over my midsection.
“Do you like this outfit? It’s a little different than usual, but I’ll explain why in a moment. ”
If the camera caught the rumble of the bear behind the camera, I’d never know because the comment section popped off the moment I touched my tank top.
I leaned in closer, making sure the comments were mostly positive.
That was all I cared about—Bellamy was in another location, monitoring for bad guys.
I straddled the chair and trailed my hands over the leather on my sleeves. Then my focus snapped to the camera.
“I have some announcements to make, and then, I’m gonna tell you a story.
Anyone want to take a guess about the announcement?
” I gave the viewers a moment to answer.
I knew that my biggest fans loved how much I interacted with them during the videos.
It wasn’t just the peach cobbler video--I made sure to call them out and include them as much as possible.
And now, I was about to hand them the biggest plot twist in Only Bears history, and I needed them with me every step of the way.
“Yes, Plant Daddy, you’re right, I will be performing live again. But to be fair, I did tease that one last week, but it’s my goal to make all your dreams a reality.”
That earned another groan from my biggest fan.
“Next week, we'll pay respect to Velvet Ransom in the only way that she’d ever want us to. We’re taking the stage, at The Redheaded Stepchild again and when I say hold onto your pants, fellas, because this lineup is nothing short of your wildest fantasy.
I’m fangirling myself.” I stopped to wave my hand playfully in front of my face.
“What if I told you Honeypot Harlot, Ginger Snapplebottom, Grizz Lee Royale, Luxe la Fur, and Tempest Teddybelle would all be there with me?”
The comments were moving so fast there was no way I could read them, so I had to hope they liked this idea.
“I’ll be taking suggestions for my routine.
I’m thinking of reenacting the peach cobbler video, only this time, you can be in the room when I moan your name.
” I let the last word trail into a moan.
Gave it a moment to reverberate through my body.
“For everyone who can’t join us live, there will be an auction.
Maybe you can win the pasties I wear on stage that night. ”
Behind the camera, Brad made a noise somewhere between a cough and a growl. All the confirmation I needed that was a great idea.
“We need to raise as much money as we can. Velvet’s family deserves peace and closure after the terrible thing that happened to her.” I drew in a shaky breath. “I have to make a confession. I wonder if that should’ve been me.”
“Synamon,” Brad warned me softly. As promised, I’d gone off script.
If I stopped to think, I’d lose my nerve. Instead, I pulled a makeup wipe from the package. “I’m sure you’ve figured out Synamon Honey is a stage name.”
The first wipe at the silver felt like ripping away every single stitch of clothing.
“Synamon is playtime. Fun. I needed a place I could really be me and find people who loved the same music and movies I did. But I had to find a way to get you to pay attention.” Another wipe.
This time I felt like I was clawing my skin away.
“Because in my real life, I was underestimated. Overlooked. Ignored. But I was okay with it, because I was on a mission.”
I dropped the wipe, and ran a finger over the patch of bare skin visible on my cheek. The comments section had quieted, as if they were stunned. I hoped it meant they were hanging on my every word and not cancelling their subscriptions.
“When I was a girl, I had something taken away from me. My home. My family and my clan lost everything in a bad land deal. We were left with nowhere to go. My parents were blindsided, humiliated, and even though they tried to make the best of it, I’m a bear.
And let me tell you something about bears—it is impossible to bullshit them.
So I knew what was really going on, even though they tried to protect me.
“I vowed I’d get revenge.” Another wipe of my makeup and anyone who knew Ellie would know it was me. I leaned forward, letting the whole world drink it all in. “Would you like to help me?”
The screen went black.
I looked around the camera setup—careful not to break character in case my viewers could still see me. “Everything okay back there? My screen went black.” I chuckled nervously as the screen twitched. “Seems like technical difficulties are becoming part of my routine.”
Static cascaded down the screen, and a black and white grainy picture snapped into view. I couldn’t process what I was seeing right away.
The black and white image looked like it came from a surveillance camera. Then my stomach dropped when I realized what was happening.
Someone had hacked into my live feed.
“Can everyone see this?” The question was more for Brad than anyone else because I couldn’t see my own feed.
“No idea.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “Fuck.”
My eyes darted back to the screen in time to see Jen, tied to a chair with a gag in her mouth, squirming to get free.