22. Faye
22
FAYE
“Faye!”
The scream that ripped from her burned in Faye’s throat, with the harrowing yell of her name reverberating between the trees long after the sound of screeching tyres turned to silence. Her heart pounded in its place, feeling as though it took up all of the space behind her ribs with every erratic beat.
Awareness of her extremities came back one limb at a time, spurred on by the thorny thicket scratching her spine.
Bash.
Oh god ? —
Her eyes shot open and Faye wasn’t prepared for how close or how frightened his face would be. Like every other emotion had been replaced with distress.
Chest to chest, Bash bracketed her body, muttering curses and something about speed limits as his heart beat out of his chest in tandem with hers. His legs wedged on either side of her thighs pressed him up against her stomach completely.
“Are you okay?” he demanded with harsh breaths.
Hands and arms tucked up between them, Faye stared at him, her brain registering the scratch of gardening gloves against her skin. He’d put h imself in the way of a speeding car, in snowy weather, and he wondered if she was okay …
She nodded.
“ Words , Faye.” Bash’s pupils had blown wide as if it was the dead of night.
“Yes, I’m okay.” The prickliness of the hedge wasn’t comfortable against her back, and the incline contracted muscles in her stomach she didn’t even know she had, but she wasn’t hurt.
Never mind if she was okay, was he ? Bash vibrated as he stayed surrounding her. Breaths like clouds pushing against her lips, nose flaring.
“Are you ?” she asked.
Bash didn’t say anything. His eyes that jumped down her face were so vividly blue against the stark white background of the sky. Faye’s exhales shuddered as his gaze lingered on her mouth.
Was he … why was he staring at her like that?
“If this were a book, I know what I’d be doing right now.” The gravel in his voice made some place between Faye’s stomach and her hips tighten, and a thought in the back of her mind rose up telling her to find release.
“This isn’t a book,” she murmured, turning her hands ever so slowly until her fingers curled in the collar of his coat. His pulse jumped in the neck vein peeking out from his layers.
The line of Bash’s throat worked before he grumbled, “How unfortunate.”
A second later he manoeuvred himself off of her and— wait , what would he have done?
Faye righted herself and tried to brush off her back while Bash picked up the dropped bags of mistletoe. She watched his movements and how jagged they were; the lines on his face at war with what could have happened.
The chances of that car hitting either of them were probably low, but Bash didn’t know that. He’d reacted. And his reaction when faced with the end had been to wrap himself around her .
A shiver fizzled up through Faye and suddenly her eyes stung. Now that she stood on her own, her limbs shook.
Everything could have ended here. All of her plans. Their lives.
She wrapped her fist in the sleeve of Bash’s coat and dragged him to her.
“What— oof .”
Their bodies clashed. The mistletoe landed on the ground again but Faye didn’t care, because when his arms came around her, she was safe.
Burying her face in Bash’s neck as much as his coat collar would allow, she inhaled the woody and spiced scent of him.
“Thank you.” Her voice warbled, but being in his arms was more soothing than anything else could be.
Bash’s woolly beanie brushed the side of her head. His voice went to someplace deep, like he held back emotion that tried to claw out. “Never thank me, Faye, for wanting to keep you safe.”
That’s all he had ever done.
Faye didn’t know how long they stood like that as the light flurry of snow turned to something heavier. Her heart eventually slowed down its rhythm and they broke apart to walk the short journey home.
Bash didn’t let her go completely though, keeping her hand in his every step of the way.
Whoever invented super soft Egyptian cotton towels could take all of Faye’s money. And whoever decided to add gold accents to the natural wood theme of the en-suite could take all of her money too.
Wrapped in a white length of that cotton that barely covered her bottom as she finished up her skincare, she didn’t think her skin could glow this much in the depths of December. Perhaps it was because of the warm light bouncing off of the white marble and golden metals, or even her happiness these days, though the shimmer from her body lotion was more likely the culprit.
Bash had dressed and made himself scarce early so she could have the hour to herself to shower and get ready. He shouldn’t be back any time soon.
She’d just ended a quick call with her mum when her ringtone cut off the music playing from her phone on the counter.
“Merry Christmas Eve!”
Faye put her step-sister on speaker and set the phone back down amongst her serums and moisturisers. “You sound like you’re on a sugar high,” she said.
“I am,” Ellie blurted. “We’ve already gotten through two tubs of chocolates between us. Scott’s mum and sisters are entertaining all of the kids on the playmat, so I’ve got approximately three minutes of peace to call you.”
“It’s been hectic here too, Bash’s nieces are non-stop. We baked doughnuts today.” Faye offered a quick run down as to why.
“This uncle sounds intolerable.” Ellie’s voice turned cold, like down the line her mouth curled in a sneer. “I’d have kicked him out already.”
Faye definitely agreed. “No one will,” she said. “He came all of the way from Cambridge just to barge in. I’m trying to be polite but it’s hard when he’s constantly upsetting everybody. I haven’t seen Bash this frustrated in years.”
She continued working various layers of product into her forehead and cheeks, though the towel wrapped around her decided to jiggle its way looser and looser with each of her movements, until she was left clutching it with her armpits and elbows.
“Are you two still sharing a room?”
Faye’d tried to recall, but nowhere in the last decade had they slept side by side for more than one night in a row. At least she wouldn’t forget this experience.
“Yes and it’s been … good. Not strange. But he was being weird on the family walk yesterday. ”
“How weird?” Ellie wondered.
Maybe she shouldn’t have brought this up, but Faye needed someone whose last name wasn’t Phillips-Dumont to bounce her thoughts off of. “He couldn’t quite look at me until he helped me up and over a stile. Even then, I slipped and he caught me— stop laughing. I don’t do this stuff on purpose just to have him catch me.”
Ellie’s snorted laughter carried through the speaker. “You like it when he holds you, Faye, there’s nothing wrong with that!”
Faye glossed right over that particular truth. “He’s being … different. I don’t know if it’s because it’s Christmas and he’s home, but he’s being extra sweet, and also kind of extra naughty too.”
“Did you just say ‘naughty’?”
As soon as she had, Faye glared at her bottle of serum, wondering if someone had replaced the collagen in it with truth .
“Yes, get over it,” she answered, point blank. There was no other way to describe Bash’s teasing right now; their “self-care” chat, the fireman pole and the uniforms. How he’d played along with Imara’s tactlessness today about their friendship. All of the “bush” innuendo Faye still hadn’t scrubbed from her mind.
She waited for Ellie to stop laughing.
“Explain yourself, Faye, please, or else I’m sending Santa to find out just how naughty or nice your best friend is.” If she wasn’t sitting down and kicking out her feet, Faye’d be surprised.
“I mean that I swear he’s flirting.” She was sure Bash would’ve kissed her in his “if this were a book” scenario earlier, when he’d had her safely pinned between his body and the hedge. Bringing up that they’d almost been crushed today wasn’t a good idea with El’s track record for worrying, so Faye kept how Bash had potentially saved her life to herself.
“He’s been flirting with you for ten years, Faye, you’re just too daft to see it.”
The mirror reflected how hard she rolled her eyes. “He’s not attracted to me. He’s never even seen me in anything less than a swimming costume c overed in a dress. There’s nothing here for him to be attracted to.”
“He’s definitely thought about it though. And stop it, you’re gorgeous. I’d kill for your figure at this point.”
Faye watched the air leave her lungs as her chest deflated and fogged up the mirror glass.
“Your smile is the brightest one I know and you’re a creative genius,” El praised. “You built your bakery from nothing. And you care so much about others. There is so much to be attracted to, and if Bash was genuine then he’d care more about those things than how clear your skin is or how thick your thighs are.”
“They are thick … ” Faye mumbled, peeking down past the towel-dress.
“All the more to squeeze him with when he finally gets down there.”
“Ellie! Oh my god—” Her cheeks started sweating off the moisturiser she’d just applied. “I’m ending this. I’ve got half an hour before the party that’s happening here and I still need to do my hair and make up.”
She shifted the towel tucked under her armpits – the knot had officially come undone and hung onto her breasts by sheer magic at this point.
“Okay. I’ll text you tomorrow. Merry Christmas, Faye. Go get your man.”
Faye eyed the phone beside her – Ellie never gave up her taunts about Bash so amicably.
“Merry Christmas.” She flattened her tone. “And he’s not my man.”
“Not yet anyway.”
There it is.
Ellie ended the call before Faye could say anything else.
Ruffling a towel over her hair, she hung it up before going back to the bedroom. She hadn’t wanted her dress for the much anticipated Phillips-Dumont Christmas Eve party to get damp from the humidity of her sh ower, so she left it unfolded on the bed. Bash told her to bring something ‘fancy’ to wear just in case they were roped into going to a party – though Faye suspected he’d known they’d end up at one anyway.
The knickers and lacy bra she’d set out were the only set that went seamlessly beneath the figure-hugging dress she’d chosen, and they were more racy than maybe was appropriate for a family Christmas party.
Eh. What did it matter? Only she would be seeing them.
Faye opened the towel from the front to rearrange it and?—
“Oh! Gheez?—”
“Bash!” she shrieked at the open bedroom door.
“Sorry! Sorry—” Frozen five feet away, Bash threw his hands up like that would help the situation. “I didn’t … I?—”
“You didn’t knock!” Heart racing, Faye hugged the towel to her body as tightly as it would go. Everything inside of her was on fire.
“I didn’t think .” Eyes averted, Bash sounded desperate, face flush like he was four glasses of wine into the evening already. Oh dear doughnuts – how long had he been there?
Faye spluttered nothing that made much sense. This was all so wrong. You’re not supposed to flash your best friend .
“I’m so sorry,” Bash pleaded again. His scrunched up face was tortured and bright like Santa’s red suit as he kept his eyes squeezed closed. “Would this be easier if I told you you look great, or that I didn’t see anything?”
“I don’t know,” Faye stressed. She was too panicked to worry about how her self-confidence felt about this right now. Her pulse tapped away under the skin of her throat. “Why are you still here?”
“I’m not. I’m leaving now.” Bash’s fingers gripped the brass handle of the door and it resolutely clicked shut behind him.
The bedroom was left in silence.
Faye slumped on the edge of the bed, staring at the empty space where Bash had been for four seconds before letting out a heavy groan and folding forwards over her knees .
This was single-handedly the most mortifying moment of her life. More than when she’d walked in on one of their old house mates getting frisky with their girlfriend. More than when her dad and Ruth had come home early from their evening at the theatre and caught her kissing goodbye to her first ever boyfriend at the door. More mortifying than waking up only days ago to find that her derrière had become the temporary home to Bash’s morning glory.
Her hand pressed to her chest where her heart raced as if it was trying to beat some kind of sprint record.
Once more, how was she supposed to look him in the eye ever again? How was she supposed to share this bed with him tonight?
“Oh god—” Faye sprang to her feet while water dripped down her legs like the bed they shared had been sullied by acts her very state of nakedness would suit.
Bash had seen … everything.
Full view.
Head to toe and everything in between.
She hadn’t even been standing remotely attractive at all; pigeon-toed and hips pushed forwards, chin tucked to her chest to rearrange the towel she may as well have not bothered with now. He’d caught her unprepared for being looked at naked which felt like a nightmare come true.
Could she claim she was sick from all of the cold weather and hide up in this room to miss out on seeing him at the party? No? Faye didn’t think so either.
She didn’t have time to dwell on this. The nightstand clock said she had only twenty minutes to dry her hair and add some make-up, and she was going to need every minute if she was going to recover herself from insecurity.
Stressing about how repulsed Bash would be by her was a problem for later Faye to work through.