Chapter 10
Half my wardrobe is on the bed.
We’re just going to dinner—I’m hoping that’s just the start. For so long I had this dream in my head that Deacon would fall madly in love with me and we’d live happily ever after.
I’m not so sure that’s what will happen, but even going to dinner seems like a step in the right direction.
Eventually, I settle on a simple blue dress. It’s not too tight or revealing—although something like that would be tempting—but it still shows off my best assets.
Is this a date?
I feel like I should know the answer to this, and yet uncertainty still hangs in the air. Deacon’s showing all the signs of being interested, but he also seems interested in renewing our friendship. But then there are the things he’s said to me, and the anger at me hanging out with other men.
My stomach twists.
Hopefully tonight will give me the clarity I want.
A knock stirs me out of my thoughts, and I rush to the door.
Deacon stands on the other side, and I could swoon just looking at him.
He’s not dressed all that different from work in dress pants and a dress shirt, but he’s not wearing a tie and his sleeves are rolled up, showing off his impressive forearms—my weakness.
I let out a sigh before I can stop it.
He smiles. “Hey. Are you ready?”
I nod. “Just let me grab my purse.” Nerves eat at my stomach, but I make my way through the living room and grab what I need.
Deacon steps inside. “So, this is where you live?”
“It’s not much, but it’s mine.”
He frowns. It’s tiny, but in a big city it’s what I could afford on my own. I did my time flatting with others in Wellington, and while it’s still always an option here, I just wanted to be independent. My savings paid the deposit and the first few weeks while I was looking for work, but now I’m earning enough to stay here.
“You look beautiful by the way.”
I don’t need to check the mirror to know I’m blushing. “Thank you.”
“Shall we?” He offers me his arm, and I take it.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
He leads me out to his car. It’s a late model Audi, and as I sink into the passenger seat, I let out a sigh. It’s so much better than the old piece of crap that I inherited from Lucas. To be fair, Mum and Dad offered to upgrade it when I went to university, but I opted for them helping me out with the rent instead.
“I’m glad it’s Friday. It’s been a long week,” I say.
Deacon shoots a glance at me as he pulls out into traffic. “I hope we’re not overworking you.”
I grin. “No. Not at all. It’s great. I’m really looking forward to working with Mallory and Simone on this launch party. We’ve been getting on really well.”
He relaxes back into his seat. “I’m glad to hear it. I knew you’d fit right in.”
Before I know it, we’re heading into the city and parking near the viaduct. It’s Friday night, and the place is buzzing with people everywhere.
After we’ve exited the car, Deacon takes my hand in his and raises it to his lips. “They do the best pasta here. I hope you’re hungry.”
I grin. “Sounds great.”
We walk toward the restaurant, and Deacon holds my hand tight. Excitement races through my veins. This is really it. I’m on a date with Deacon Miller.
But the excitement only lasts a short time.
“Mr Miller.” A woman’s voice rings out. The ma?tre d’ greets us with a warm smile before she gives me the once over.
Wait. They know him by name?
Does he come here that often?
Does he bring other women here?
As she leads us to the table, Deacon gives my hand a squeeze. “You’re thinking,” he whispers. “For what it’s worth, I’ve had business lunches here but never brought a date. Only you.”
I swallow hard.
“Right this way.” She leads us to an intimate table in the corner.
My heart’s racing. This is my idea of a romantic dinner, complete with candles on the table. My previous dates have always been much more casual, so I’m not sure I have much to compare it to, but it feels like Deacon’s putting in the effort.
Deacon pulls my chair out, and I share a smile with him as I sit.
We’re given the drinks menus, and he sits opposite me before giving them a quick look over.
A few moments later, we’re joined by a waitress. “Can I get you anything to drink?”
Deacon looks at me, and I nod. “A glass of the house white?”
She smiles and shifts her gaze to him. “And for you, sir?”
“The same.”
When she leaves, he reaches across the table and takes my hand in his. “You look nervous.”
“We’re on a date. I think. I’m trying not to freak out.”
His grin brings a smile to my face. “You’re trying not to freak out. How do you think I feel?”
“What do you mean?”
Deacon laughs. “From the moment you walked into my life, this is all I’ve thought about. And now you’re here. Thank you for coming out with me tonight.”
I shrug. “Could I really refuse?”
“What do you mean?”
My heart thuds. It’s now or never. His gaze is fixed on me, and it’s unnerving, and my stomach’s still churning. But I have to go for it. “I’ve had a crush on you my whole life. Why would I ever say no to dinner with you?”
A smile plays on his lips. “You did?”
His reaction slows my heart rate. At least he’s not freaking out.
“Ever since you rescued Roger from the tree.”
Deacon chuckles. “How old were you?”
“Five, I think?”
He shakes his head. “I had no idea.”
Growing more confident, I laugh. “I’m glad because I would have been mortified back then if you knew.”
His smile’s warm, but when he doesn’t respond, the nerves begin to grow again.
“Here are your drinks.”
Our wines are placed on the table, and I give the waitress a tight smile. It’s not her fault that her timing sucks.
“Can you give us a few more minutes to read the menu?” Deacon asks.
“Sure thing.” She’s so bright and bubbly, and I hate that I resent her right now.
As soon as she’s gone, he puts all his focus back on me, and it’s like there was no gap in the conversation.
“Seven years was a big difference back then. It’s not really that much now,” he finally says.
My throat tightens.
“I want this, Pippa. I want to explore us.”
He meets my gaze again, and there’s a question in his eyes.
He’s waiting for me to agree.
“I’d like that.” I’m breathless with excitement. This is Deacon. I never forgot him—I couldn’t. Losing him from my life was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
“I’d really like to kiss you, but I’m not sure the restaurant would appreciate it if I dived across the table to do it.” He grins.
I laugh, but my heart swells and all I can think about now is us kissing.
“Thank you for saying yes to dinner, Pippa.” He holds up his wine glass. “I’d like to think this is just the start.”
I clink my glass with his for his toast.
“Let’s check out this menu.”
* * *
It’s the best pasta I’ve ever eaten in my life.
When I choose the chicken carbonara, Deacon follows suit, reassuring me that even though he hasn’t tried it, everything on the menu is good.
We settle into easy conversation. We might not have been a part of each other’s lives for years, but apart from the obvious topic—nothing’s off limits.
I haven’t felt so comfortable with anyone in a long time.
“I’m so full.” I lean back in my seat and rest my hand on my stomach. “This was a wonderful idea.”
“Too full for dessert?”
“Never.”
Deacon barks out a laugh. “That’s my girl. They do a mean tiramisu here.”
“Ohhh, I love tiramisu.”
“I want to know all about the things you love.” His eyes search mine. “I want to give you the world, Pippa. All I need is to know where to start.”
“You’re starting just fine from where I’m sitting.”
For a moment, we just gaze at each other, until Deacon breaks away.
“Fuck dessert. I want to take you home and kiss the crap out of you.”
It’s my turn to laugh, and I shake my head.
“It’s too late, Mister. I want my tiramisu.”
“Can we get it to go?”
I raise my index finger to my chin and give it about two seconds of thought.
“You bet we can,” I say softly.
Because there’s nothing better right now than the thought of Deacon kissing the crap out of me.
I’ve never seen that man move so fast as he orders my dessert, and before I know it, we’re hauling arse down the motorway toward my flat.
And if I thought my heart raced before—that was nothing.
Every step toward my front door is agonising, and when we reach it, I turn and take in the sight of this man—this man I’ve dreamed about for so long, and I take a deep breath.
“Do you want to come in?”
His eyes search mine.
Please say yes.
“I think you know I do.”
After unlocking and opening my door, I step in with him on my heels.
“Do you want a drink or something?”
Deacon captures my hand and pulls me toward him.
“I’ll take or something.”
I fight my smile, but I can’t help it. “Is that right, Mr Miller?”
“You know how I feel, Pippa.” He kicks the door closed.
I step backward, and he follows until we reach the couch.
He chuckles as I sit before taking a seat right next to me.
“I don’t know where to start with you. Since you walked back into my life, I’ve wanted you.”
My mouth goes dry, and I have to lick my lips to be able to speak. But even then, words don’t come out.
His gaze drops to my lips. “Now you’re just teasing.”
I laugh. “I’m really not, I …”
Deacon leans in, and his lips are inches from mine. “I told you at the restaurant that I wanted to kiss you. But, Pippa, you really have no idea what you do to me.”
“Kiss me, then?”
My heart pounds out of my chest when his lips touch mine. He starts soft and gentle, before I open for him.
And then it’s on. He plunders my mouth as if it’s the last time we’ll ever kiss.
When he finally pulls away, he leans his forehead on mine.
“God, Pippa. You’re perfect.”
He runs his hand down my spine, and I shiver at his touch. This is it. This is the moment I dreamed of for so long. It’s here, and it’s real, and it’s everything.
His eyes search mine. I’ve seen so many emotions in this man, but now all I see is his affection for me.
“I’m not sure about that.” I try and lighten the mood.
“I am. And I don’t want to wait another moment to kiss you again.”
“Go on.”
His lips meet mine, and I’m done for. It only takes a second for him to deepen the kiss, and before I know it, his tongue’s in my mouth and I’m letting out a moan that I’ve never heard come out of me before.
What is even happening right now?
His hand rests on my hip, much to my frustration. I know this is the first time we’ve been out together, but I want more.
I want everything.
He keeps on kissing me, occasionally letting me up for air, but there’s so much promise in it.
“I love kissing you,” he whispers. “But I’m going home.”
I bite my bottom lip. Tonight I took a chance that paid off. Can I make it two for two?
“You don’t have to.”
Deacon’s lips curl into a smile. “Maybe not, but I’m going to. It’s not that I don’t want to stay, but I want to do this properly. Tonight’s been a revelation.”
I peck him on the lips. “I hope I didn’t freak you out.”
He shakes his head. “No. I feel like when I saw your photo that my eyes were opening for the first time. You’re too important to me to rush this.”
Oh, my heart.
He grabs my hand and brings it to his chest. “I want you, Pippa. Maybe more than I should. I can’t forget our past, but I’d like to think we can build a foundation for a future.”
It’s as if this man just walked out of one of my books. Teenage Deacon was hot—adult Deacon is on a whole other level.
He lingers at the door, kissing me softly.
“It’s too tempting to stay. You’re too tempting.”
“See you on Monday?”
Deacon kisses me again. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Make sure you lock the door when I’ve gone.”
“I will.”
“Goodnight, Pippa.”
I close the door and lock it before turning and leaning against it. Letting out a contented sigh, I can’t wipe the grin from my face.
I’m not sure where this is going, but it feels so good.
* * *
The next date, two days later, is the same.
He takes me for a nice dinner, and afterward kisses me senseless before leaving.
I know what he’s doing—we’re both trying to be patient. I’ve never been one to rush into anything, but with Deacon all I want to do is rush.
The way he struggles to pull away from me, I get the feeling Deacon’s the same.
But no matter what’s happening between us, I’m walking around with a near permanent smile on my face. I never dreamed Deacon would return my feelings.
“So, are you seeing Deacon now?” Mallory asks.
I nod. “We’ve been on a couple of dates.”
She presses her lips together and places her hand on my arm. “Just … be careful.”
Frowning, I tilt my head. “What do you mean?”
Mallory hesitates before answering. “He’s my friend, but he’s not good with commitment. In all the time I’ve known him, he’s not been in a relationship. He’s not that good with them.”
I straighten up and swallow hard. “Well, we’re different.”
Her smile’s forced. “I’m sure you are.”
I’ve liked Mallory up until today. Now, I’m not so sure.
“I’ve known him all my life, Mallory. I know I’m safe with him.”
“Even after your brother screwed him over?”
I’m not one to lose my temper, and I’m not dumb enough to lose it at one of the company owners. But I’m not taking this lying down. “What happened is in the past, and between them. It’s got nothing to do with me.”
She holds her palms up as if surrendering. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. He’s not one for girlfriends or sticking with one woman for very long. I’m just trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need your protection.”
We’re nearly finished with planning the invitations for the launch, and I’m only a few minutes from going to lunch before I return to my desk for the afternoon.
Mallory gives me a short, sharp nod, and I’m gone.
But her words echo in my brain.
Is she right?