Chapter 28
One month later
After a week of me moping around my parents’ place, I got sick of their prodding for me to get on with things and moved myself out to their beach house.
It’s a couple of hours away from them, and I wanted space to try and recover from Deacon’s cruelty.
I still have no idea why he left me.
I’ve called and left voicemails, begging for him to tell me why. But I think he’s blocked me. He’s ghosted me, and I don’t understand.
Ten minutes ago, I sat on the toilet and peed on a stick. My period was due around the same time as my wedding, so I skipped it by taking pills, and then when it didn’t arrive this week, I grabbed a test.
This isn’t happening.
But the two lines show that it is.
My heart sinks. I’ve been sitting, staring at this stupid test ever since. If we’d been married, Deacon would have been happy. Sure, it’s earlier than we planned, but our child would have been born into a loving home with parents who adored one another.
Now I’m not so sure.
Not when I’ve got so many questions about Deacon’s behaviour.
Did he ever love me?
Nothing makes sense and this just adds to the confusion.
I force myself to stand and place the test beside the bathroom basin as I pull up my pants and take a deep breath.
It’s late afternoon as I sink onto the couch. This is how I spend most evenings—in front of the television, thoughts swirling in my brain.
I turn my head at the crunch of tyres on gravel. It’s probably Lucas. He’s been there for me in a way he’s never been before.
He grins as I open the door. His hand’s poised to knock—despite it being a family home, he’s also respected my privacy out there.
I fling my arms around his neck, and he hugs me tight, hushing in my ear as I burst into tears.
“Hey. What’s going on?”
“I’m really glad to see you.” I sniff.
He reaches for my hands and pries me away from his neck before searching my eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Just having a bad day.”
Lucas pops a kiss on my nose. “Well, your favourite brother’s here now, so that should improve it.”
I snort out a laugh, and he smiles.
“How are you doing?”
I shrug. “I know I can’t hide here forever, but I’m not ready to go anywhere.”
He nods. “It’s okay. You can stay here as long as you need to. I’ll keep coming to see you if that’s okay.”
“At least I know you don’t judge me.” I move back to the couch, and he follows, taking a seat beside me.
Reaching over, he lays his hand on mine. “Never. I love you, sis.”
“Love you too.”
“Deacon’s a dumbass.”
I shake my head. “I just wish I knew …”
He opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something before closing it again and smiling. “It’s his loss. I hope you know that.”
We’ve had this conversation a million times, but it never makes me feel any better. Maybe it is his loss, but he’s the one who threw me away. No matter how uplifting Lucas’s words are, I’m brought down to earth by that fact.
I shrug again and sigh. “I just need time to process that.”
He hesitates before leaning back. “You know he’s due to arrive home today.”
“Is he?” As if I don’t know. As if the dates of my honeymoon weren’t etched into my brain. Today was the day we were supposed to fly into the country. Will Deacon stick to that? Or will he continue partying his way through Europe?
Lucas arches an eyebrow. “Are you going to try and get in touch?”
Snorting again, I look away. “What’s the point? I tried to call him after he left, but he’s blocked me. You know, except for his Instagram account.”
When I glance at Lucas, his jaw is set. “You know that’s him trying to hurt you. I don’t know why you look.”
“Neither do I, but I can’t help it.” Tears prick my eyes. I’ve cried my heart out for this man, but there are always more tears.
“Pip, you’ve got to stop torturing yourself. He’s an arsehole, and he never deserved you.”
“I never did fit into his world.”
Swallowing hard, I meet Lucas’s eyes as confusion flashes across his features.
“What do you mean?”
I shift my gaze to the ceiling. “Deacon’s life was full of beautiful, tall, thin women. Did he use me, Lucas? Did he make me fall in love with him just to dump me like this? Is this some kind of payback.”
He grips my hand, and I fix my watery gaze on him.
“No way. He loved you. We all saw it. Hell, he even went through Christmas with me because he was crazy about you, and he hates me.”
“I just don’t know what else to think.” I clamp my lips together to stop myself from crying yet again.
“Well, I think being cooped up here for a month has given you nothing but time to dream up all these things.”
His eyes are so full of sympathy, and I can’t stand it. But he’s here because he loves me.
“So, you’re defending him now?” I’m being bullish, but I can’t help it. My heart’s been in turmoil since the day Deacon left and I’m no better than when this started.
Lucas shakes his head. “No, sweetheart. What he did was indefensible. I don’t know what happened, but something set him off. Maybe it was being near me again after all these years. He hated me, and I don’t blame him. He only tolerated me because of how much he loved you.” He ruffles my hair.
“Hey.” I laugh.
“That’s better.” He beams. “Anyway, I thought I might crash here tonight and go home tomorrow. We can spend the evening hanging out. Maybe watch some of that trashy reality TV you like.”
“I’d like that.”
Lucas pushes himself off the couch. “I’ll be back in a minute. I’ve got a bag in the car—was hoping you were going to agree.”
“It’s not like I could stop you from staying.”
He laughs. “I’m glad I’m here.”
“Me too.”
The one thing I’m grateful for is that this whole thing has brought Lucas and me closer. For the longest time I was angry at him driving Deacon away—I didn’t speak to him for a year after Deacon and his father left town.
But he’s been there for me this whole time. He’s just on the other end of the phone when I need someone to listen to me, and he never judges me.
I still wish he’d never gone anywhere near Elise Miller, but there’s no erasing the past.
The door clicks as he comes back in, and I pick up the remote. “Want anything in particular?”
“No, you pick. Do you want pizza? Does Tommy still deliver?”
I look over my shoulder at my brother disappearing into a bedroom. “He does. Number’s on the fridge.”
He flicks on the bathroom lights before closing the door. I keep scrolling through movies, pausing occasionally before moving on. I’m the worst at picking something when there’s so much choice.
The bathroom door opens.
“Uhhh, Pip?”
“Yep?” I flick between channels.
“Is there something else you want to tell me?”
Shit.
I close my eyes. I’m so used to being alone that I didn’t stop and think that someone else would be using the bathroom. Slowly, I turn, cringing as he waves around the white stick I peed on this afternoon.
Holding up my palms, I shrug. “Maybe?”