Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Jess
Ineeded another drink.
I needed to dance.
I needed to forget.
The moment we stepped into the bar, the music thrummed through my veins.
Perfect.
“Shots!” I called. “We all need shots.”
“I don’t know if—”
“I know we do.” I cut Charli off before she could shut down my idea. I probably should have regretted confessing the truth of my upcoming marriage to her, and maybe I would have if I weren’t comfortably numb from the drinks I’d already consumed.
The alcohol had helped. But not enough. I needed more.
“Come on.” I grabbed Harper’s hand and hauled her toward the bar, along with Kat and Lauren, who didn’t resist my efforts. “We need shots!”
The bartender was happy to oblige, and soon we were raising up tequila and sucking limes.
“Another, ladies?”
I spun around, a little too quickly, judging by the way I wobbled, to see Kane Nelson and Preston standing behind us. My heart flipped a little when my eyes met Preston’s. That was ridiculous. We were friends.
And we were only barely friends.
But we certainly weren’t any more than that.
I smiled as widely as I could and batted my lashes as I took the shot Kane held out for me. “Thank you.”
“Cheers.” He tapped my glass. “To your upcoming nuptials.”
My smile faded, but only for a second before I caught myself. “Sure.” I tossed my drink back, the alcohol burning the back of my throat and contributing to the pleasant buzz I was already feeling.
Then I made the mistake of looking at Preston again.
He leaned against the bar with his arms crossed, watching me with an expression that hovered somewhere between amused and wary. Like he already knew I was about to go completely off the rails.
Good.
Because I’d had just enough to drink that I didn’t care. I needed to have fun and blow off some steam, and that’s exactly what I was going to do.
I straightened the ridiculous sash my friends made me wear, tossed my hair back behind my shoulders, and took an unsteady step in his direction.
Charli had reappeared by my side. “Jess, maybe you should—”
“Nope.” I didn’t care what she was going to say, because I already knew it wasn’t going to be any fun.
I loved my friend, but she did tend to be a bit of a mom lately.
And the last thing I needed was another mom.
Hell, I didn’t even want to think about the parents I did have.
They were so excited about the wedding and the fact that I was marrying a successful businessman.
I couldn’t imagine what it would do to them if they found out the truth. Well, I could imagine it, and that was the problem.
But it was a problem for another day.
“Maybe you should have some water.” Charli tried to tug me away from Preston.
“I don’t need water.” I kept my gaze locked on the man who, up until very recently, had been my arch nemesis. Now he was…well, I didn’t know what he was anymore. Or maybe I did.
Another problem for another day.
“What I need,” I said. “Is to dance.”
I closed the last of the distance between us and stood directly in front of Preston. I poked a finger into his chest, which was firmer than I expected. Like hitting a wall of muscles. It was distracting in a way I didn’t need to think about at the moment. “You,” I said. “Are dancing with me.”
He blinked. “I don’t dance.”
“Yes, you do.”
“No.” He shook his head with an amused grin. “I don’t.”
“You do today.” I was not to be deterred. “Because I’m the bride.”
His mouth twitched. He looked like he wanted to say something. Or challenge that fact. Fortunately, he didn’t. “I don’t think that means what you think it does.”
“It means that you have to do what I want because it’s the happiest day of my life.”
His brows lifted. “It is, is it?”
“And on the happiest day of my life, I get whatever I want.” I ignored the question. “And I want to dance with you.”
“You’re drunk.”
“And?” I shrugged.
The band struck up something loud and fast. It was the kind of song that made you want to move your feet. Even if you claimed you didn’t dance. I grabbed Preston’s hand before he could argue with me again.
“Jess,” he protested, but didn’t resist.
“Don’t make me beg.” I pulled him toward the dance floor. “Because I will, and that will be embarrassing for both of us.”
He sighed, but didn’t pull his hand away. “You’re impossible.”
“I’ve heard that before,” I agreed. “Probably from you.”
That made him laugh as I dragged him onto the dance floor. The lights were low, with occasional colorful spotlights flashing around. The pulse of the music made it hard to think straight.
It was perfect.
I turned to face him, swaying more than dancing and laughed when he reached out to steady me.
“See? You dance.”
“I’m saving you,” he muttered.
I laughed again, tipping my head back. The music thudded through me, the buzz in my head drowning out everything else.
“You don’t have to worry,” I said. “I’m not going to fall.
” I spun on the ball of my foot, and if he hadn’t reached for me, there was a good chance I would have crashed into the other dancers.
He steadied me. This time, he left his hands on my hips, and the world narrowed. The music faded away, the other dancers melting away into the background.
I was only aware of him and the heat of his hands on the sliver of exposed skin between my jeans and where my shirt crept up. His breath changed, and his gaze dropped to my mouth before snapping up again as if he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to.
“This is a bad idea,” he said quietly.
“Probably,” I agreed. “But it’s just a dance.”
Something in his expression shifted then. Before I could take it back and tell him that No, it wasn’t a bad idea and it was certainly so much more than a dance, he took my hand in his and spun me quickly away from him before tugging me back into his grip.
And then, we were dancing.
He was moving with me, his body leading the way as he guided me around the dance floor.
Preston
“I thought you didn’t dance,” she teased as I spun her again.
“I didn’t say I couldn’t,” I said. “I just don’t.”
“Why?”
“Reasons.”
She huffed. “That’s not a real answer.”
“Don’t push it, Dots.”
She stuck her tongue out at me, laughing as I turned her once more, and then the music swallowed us again—loud and insistent, leaving no room for thinking too hard about what I was doing.
She leaned in close, close enough that I could smell lime and tequila on her breath. “It’s because you don’t believe in love, isn’t it?”
My jaw tightened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Dancing isn’t very practical either,” she said softly.
Shit. I sucked in a breath. “Jess, when I said that, I didn’t mean—”
She shook her head, smiling up at me. “Relax, Preston. This doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just a dance.”
My hands tightened at her waist before I could stop myself. Just a fraction. Enough that we both felt it.
The song shifted then, slower, heavier. The lights dimmed. And my hands stayed right where they were.
I told myself it was just the music.
Just the alcohol.
We swayed together for a few beats, closer than we should have been, her body fitting against mine in a way that felt far too familiar. My breath caught, sharp and unwelcome, and that was what finally snapped me out of it.
I stepped back. The space between us felt louder than the music.
She didn’t say anything, but the look on her face told me she’d felt it too.
“Thank you,” she said after a moment. “For the dance,” she clarified, as if she could have been thanking me for a million things.
“It’s no big—”
“You’re a better dancer than Trevor,” she blurted.
“Jess…”
“You’re better than him in a lot of ways.”
“Jess, I don’t think—”
“That I should marry him?” She finished my thought for me in the most unexpected way.
I mean, no, I didn’t think she should marry him, but I wasn’t about to say that on the very night she was out celebrating the fact.
Aware that we were still standing in the middle of the dance floor where anyone could see us, I grabbed her hand again. “Come with me.”
She didn’t hesitate as I pulled her through the crowd to the back hallway of the bar.
The bathrooms were at the far end, and although it was better than the dance floor, it wasn’t the most private location.
That was probably for the best. More and more, it was getting harder for me to keep my feelings for Jess professional, or at the bare minimum, just as friends.
It was insane that the feelings I had as a child could still be even a little bit alive after so much time, but I couldn’t deny that there was something going on.
Something that was getting really damn hard to fight.
“You don’t think I should marry him, do you?” she asked outright when we stopped moving. She pressed her back against the wall and looked up to the ceiling as if it held the answers. “I won’t hold it against you if you do. I mean, I don’t even—”
“I’m going to stop you before you say something you might regret.”
She lowered her head and met my eyes. For a moment, I thought she might insist that she wouldn’t regret anything.
Instead, she said, “Do you ever wonder if it could have been different?”
The change in topic spun my head, but I did my best to keep up. “If what could be different?”
“Do you think we would have been friends or maybe even dated one day if I hadn’t thrown the flowers in the dirt?”
The oxygen was sucked from my lungs. She remembered. I didn’t think she remembered that moment. Or even cared. Not then. And especially not so many years later.
“You remember that?”
“Don’t you?”
Her eyes were shiny and unfocused, but her words were clear.
I nodded. “I remember.”
She matched my nod and blew out a breath. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know why I did that.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she shook her head and tried again. “No, I do know. I was stupid and scared.”
“Jess, it was a million years ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“But it does matter, Pres.”
Her hand reached out to grab my arm. Her fingers were warm on my skin as they wrapped around my bicep.
“It matters a lot.”
I shook my head again, but I could see she wasn’t going to be content until she said what she needed to.
A group of young women spilled from the bathroom, laughing and chattering, totally unaware of their surroundings. I moved to stand in front of Jess, protecting her from being bashed into by the women as they passed.
We stood so close, I could feel the puff of air on my cheeks with every breath she took.
“I liked you, you know?” she said. “But when you gave me the flowers, I got scared. I thought everyone would laugh and tease us. I panicked.”
The music and noise from the bar were all around us, but somehow in that moment, it all faded. All I could see was a twelve-year-old girl dropping flowers in the dirt and a boy who stood in front of her, his heart breaking.
I cleared my throat. “You don’t need to apologize.”
“I do,” she insisted. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
She burped a little, and her hand shot up to cover her mouth as she giggled. I grabbed her elbow, keeping her upright as she swayed on her feet.
She really was drunk. She should be in bed.
“Come on.” With my hand on the small of her back, I led Jess back into the bar and scanned the room for her friends. Charli caught my gaze and came over immediately.
“Is she…”
“Drunk?” I chuckled. “Oh yeah.”
“I don’t know how it happened.” Charli shook her head, obviously feeling responsible for the state of her friend. “It’s like she was on a mission tonight. I’ve never seen her drink so much.”
Jess dropped her head to my shoulder and closed her eyes, sagging against me.
“I’m worried about her, Preston. I just think that maybe…” Charli drifted off, snapping her mouth shut as if she’d already said too much.
But she didn’t need to say any more. I thought I understood just fine.
“Don’t worry,” I told Charli. “I’ll take her home. Her place is on my way.”
“Thank you.”
I offered a small smile and wrapped my arm around Jess as I led her through the busy bar.
Her eyes snapped open. “Are we going to dance again, Pres?”
“No, sweetheart. I think we’re done dancing for the night. I’m going to take you home.”
“Okay.” Her eyes shut again, her lips curling up into a smile. “That sounds good.”
Jess
My head was spinning.
The whole room was spinning.
Maybe I was spinning.
Somehow, my feet moved while Preston guided me up the stairs to my room.
The room tilted when Preston shut the door behind us, and I had to close my eyes again and press my palm to the wall.
“You okay?”
“Mm hmm.” It wasn’t an answer to anything.
His arm was still wrapped around my waist, a warm comfort. I liked it. He was steady and grounded. Like if I leaned the wrong way, he’d catch me.
I kicked my shoes off and let him lead me down the hallway to my room.
“I don’t love him,” I blurted. “That’s not why we’re getting married. Not anymore.”
Preston stilled. “Jess, I—”
“I know, I know,” I rushed on, the floor shifting under my feet as I stumbled to my bed and flopped down on top of the covers.
“I’m drunk. I don’t know what I’m saying.
” I waved my hand in the air before dropping it like a heavy weight on the mattress next to me.
I opened one eye to see Preston standing over me, watching.
“But I do know,” I said, working hard not to slur my words.
He didn’t say anything. He just watched me as if I were about to break.
That felt worse somehow.
I attempted to prop myself up on one elbow. “You’re easier,” I said. “Did you know that?”
His jaw tightened. “Easier isn’t—”
“I don’t mean easy,” I corrected, flopping down again, the weight of holding myself up too much. “Just quieter…like I can breathe when I’m with you.”
The words tangled on my tongue in a jumble. I wasn’t sure what I was trying to say anymore, only that I felt like I should say something to him. Like, there was something important I needed to tell him.
“Jess, I—”
“It’s true,” I stopped him. “Know what else is true?” I didn’t wait for him to reply. “I wish I'd never thrown the flowers away.”
“What flowers are—oh.”
I leaned forward so suddenly that I almost fell out of my bed, but he caught me easily and laid me back against the pillow.
“You should get some sleep, Jess.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I murmured, letting my eyes close. “You know…”
He pulled a blanket up over me, and the edges of the room softened, blurring as I let myself succumb to sleep.
Right before sleep took me, I heard my own voice again. It was distant, as if it didn’t even belong to me. “Daisies are still my favorite.”