Chapter 20 #2
We were attracting attention from people going about their business in the plaza, but I didn’t care. Everything needed to be said.
“But I didn’t marry him, Preston. Did I?” He shook his head and took a step back, but I wasn’t done. “I know it’s hard to understand,” I continued. “Hell, I don’t even understand how I could let it happen. But I stopped it. I left. I ran away. I ran to…”
I let the words die on my lips.
He moved closer again, so we were only inches apart. “You did.” His voice was quiet now, softer. The way he looked into my eyes threatened to break something in me. “And, Jess, I—”
He reached for my hand, but I pulled away, wrapping my arms around my stomach to stop myself from shaking.
“My decision,” I said quickly before he could finish.
“It had nothing to do with him. But it had nothing to do with you either.” He took a step back as if I’d slapped him, but I kept going, unable to hold back any longer.
“My decision was my own, Preston. Whether you like it or not, I made the decision I thought was best and what I think will be best for Trickle Creek in the long term. Because, despite what you might believe, I love this town just as much as you do, and I truly believe that developing affordable housing is the right move, even if it means the loss of some trails.”
“Really, Jess? What about the—”
“Preston, stop.” Again, my voice lifted.
“You’re so worried about the animals and the trees and—” I held up my hand to stop him from interrupting.
“And that’s all important, obviously. But have you ever thought about the people?
Yes, the trails are important. The animal corridors are important, of course.
” I softened my voice and took a step forward.
“But this town is nothing without the people, Preston.”
He was quiet, and for a moment, I thought maybe I’d gotten through to him.
“And you really think that this development proposal is the best thing for the town?”
“Yes.” I released a breath and nodded, letting a relieved smile take shape on my face. “I do.”
I reached forward to close this distance between us that I hated so much, but then his face twisted up into a snarl, and he shook his head.
“Are you sure it’s not about your bank account, Jess?” He jerked away from me.
I should have let him go. I should have let him walk away without another word.
But I couldn’t.
“Screw you, Preston Lyons.” He froze, so I took the opportunity to fire at him again. “You’re so busy running away and hiding in the forest, that you can’t see what really matters because you’re scared.”
He whirled around. “I’m scared?” He jabbed at his chest. “You think I’m scared?”
“I know you are.” Emotions flooded through me; I was trembling and on the verge of tears, which was ridiculous because I never cry. But damn this man for making me feel things and— “I can’t do this.”
Everything over the last few days piled onto me, and all of a sudden, it was too much. Before he could stop me, I left. I moved as fast as I could and slipped between the shops and into the alley.
I obviously wasn’t going to be able to convince him of anything. And even if I could, who was I to tell him what to think when I clearly couldn’t trust my own choices?
Hot tears burned in my eyes, and it only made me angrier.
I scrubbed at my cheeks as I moved through the parking lot to my car. I hated that he could get under my skin like this. That after everything…it only took one hurt, disappointed look from him, to show me how closed off he was, to undo me completely.
The more distance I put between us—
“Jess.”
Preston
I followed her without thinking.
No. That was a lie. I was thinking. I was thinking that I couldn’t let her walk away like that with so much unfinished business between us. Not again.
The moment she slipped between the shops and disappeared down the alley to the parking lot, something in my chest tightened hard enough that not going after her was no longer an option.
She was almost at her vehicle when I reached her. She swiped at her face and stumbled a little as she almost dropped her keys.
Seeing her like that, so angry and shaken, trying but failing not to fall apart, hit me hard.
“Jess.”
She spun around, her eyes flashing. “Don’t.”
Too late.
“I’m not finished.” My voice was rougher than I intended. “You don’t get to say all of that and just walk away like it was nothing.”
“You think I’m the one who’s walking away?”
I tilted my head and raised a brow. “Sure as hell looks that way.”
She opened her mouth, but closed it again, choosing instead to shake her head.
I stepped closer before I could stop myself. The air was thick between us with everything we’d left unsaid since the morning she walked away from the cabin. And me.
“I know you think I’m being hardheaded.”
“You are being hardheaded.” She dropped her arms to her sides. “You aren’t even trying to see this from my point of view.”
“That’s not true.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Isn’t it?” When I didn’t answer her right away, she added, “This isn’t personal, Preston.”
I blew out a breath and dropped my gaze to my feet long enough to collect my thoughts. “It’s pretty hard not to take all of this personally, Jess. After everything we…well…you sat across from me, looked me in the eye, and decided none of it mattered.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Neither is any of this.” I waved my hand between us. “And don’t stand there and pretend you don’t know why this feels personal. You know.”
She stared at me, raw emotion flickering over her face. “Say it then,” she challenged. “If you’re so brave, you tell me, Preston. Because I can’t help but—”
“The cabin.” I didn’t hesitate. I was tired of dancing around it. And dammit, I was pretty sure she was, too. “The way you opened up to me, like I was someone you trusted.”
“I did trust you.” Her voice softened. “I do trust you.”
“I just don’t understand how you can stand there and pretend like that night didn’t happen. Like we didn’t happen.”
“You really think I could forget?”
My gaze dropped to her mouth, the memory of the way her lips felt on mine crashing through me.
“Then why does it feel like you’re choosing everything else instead of me?” The second the words were out of my mouth, I knew I’d crossed a line.
“I told you,” she said, her voice heavy with sadness and frustration. “This isn’t about you.” She shook her head and turned, opening her car door.
“Then what is it about?” I reached around her and pushed the door shut. “Because I think both you and I know it’s not about zoning maps, trail access, or affordable housing. Not anymore.”
Silence stretched between us, heavy and charged, before she turned slowly and leaned up against her car, my arm caging her in.
“We said one night, Preston. We agreed.”
“I don’t care,” I said. “I thought I could be okay with that, Jess. I thought I was strong enough to spend one amazing night in your arms and still be able to pretend that you don’t mean anything to me. That you never did. But you do, dammit. You always have. And that changes things.”
“It does.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “Because I didn’t plan on feeling anything either.”
“You feel things?”
She laughed a little and shook her head as if I were the most clueless man in the world.
Maybe I was.
“I feel a lot of things, Preston.” She looked into my eyes. Really looked at me. “And some of those feelings are for you.”
The words landed like a punch to the chest.
“I don’t want to make anything worse,” I said, my voice low. “We’re already in dangerous territory, Jess.”
She stepped up and into my space, close enough that I could feel her warmth and remember exactly how well she fit against me. “I don’t care anymore.”
My restraint snapped.
I kissed her.
Not gently or carefully. But like I’d been holding myself back for days. All the frustration, anger, and want I had for her until it burst free and poured out into that one moment.
She made a soft sound against my mouth as I pushed her back against the car. Her hands fisted in my shirt, holding me close like she, too, didn’t ever want to let go. For a beat, nothing else existed. It was just the two of us, finally.
And then reality crashed back.
I hated myself for it, but I pulled away first, resting my forehead against hers as I attempted to get my breathing under control. “This isn’t how we fix it.”
Her hands slid down my chest. “I know.”
“I don’t want to be the thing you regret, Jess,” I said. “But I also can’t pretend that night didn’t mean more than it was supposed to. And I definitely won’t pretend that you don’t mean anything.”
She nodded, tears shining in her eyes again. “I can’t either.”
We stood there for another moment, suspended between what we wanted and the mess it would surely make for us, even if we were ready to face it.
Then she stepped back.
“I need time,” she said. “I just need to figure this all out.” She shook her head. “I mean, I only just called off my marriage and…the whole… I just need time, Preston.”
Every instinct in me wanted to pull her back to me. Somehow, I forced myself to nod.
“Of course,” I said. “But don’t ask me to pretend that it didn’t matter.”
“Never.”
I stepped back and gave her the space to get into her vehicle. I watched while she drove away, with the echo of her kiss on my lips and the sinking certainty that things had just gotten a whole lot more complicated, and no matter what else, it was far from finished.