Chapter Nine
“I can’t believe Professor Wilcox assigned a project over Winter Break,” Shelby moaned as she hitched her backpack higher on her shoulder. “He’s a sadist.”
I laughed at Shelby’s disgusted look. I didn’t blame her for being upset. Her math professor was notorious for being tough, and he seemed to be living up to his reputation. I was lucky that I was an English major, and didn’t have to deal with him.
“That sucks,” I said sympathetically. “Hopefully it won’t take up too much of your break.”
Shelby continued muttering to herself about how it should be illegal to assign projects during break and that she was going to complain to the dean as we waved goodbye. She was done for the day and heading home, while I still had one class left. I couldn’t wait to get it over with so my break could officially start.
It was starting to get dark, and I put my hands in my coat pockets, burrowing them in deep. Although it wasn’t as cold as it usually was in December, it still was cold enough for my nose to feel frozen and my breath to come out in white puffs. I ducked my head against the wind and made my way to my Multimedia Writing class.
“Daphne.”
My head shot up at the sound of my name in an achingly familiar voice. A voice I hadn’t heard in a long time. I was shocked to suddenly be looking into Jason’s blue eyes, his expression unsure. I hadn’t seen Jason since our senior year of high school. He looked almost the same, but older and more mature. His dark brown hair was longer than I remembered, and his frame was still long and lean. My heart skipped a beat as I studied him. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.
“Jason,” I said, my voice reflecting my surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s good to see you,” he said, ignoring my question. “It’s been a long time."
“It’s good to see you, too,” I echoed. “But what are you doing here?”
Jason smiled at my insistent question. “You’re looking at a new Darrenston College student.”
“What?” I asked in confusion. “What do you mean? What about the University of Chicago?”
Jason sighed and ran his hand through his hair, suddenly looking tired. “University of Chicago was great, but I don’t know if you’ve heard about my mom.” He continued when I shook my head. “She was diagnosed with stomach cancer in October. I know it’s been tough for my dad and Eric, and I just want to be home while she’s in treatment. So I decided to transfer here.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Jason,” I said, shocked. Mrs. Mayors had always been the epitome of health. I remembered her always going off to exercise classes and her trying to get Jason to try her flaxseed smoothie concoctions. I couldn’t believe she had stomach cancer. “How is she doing right now?”
“She’s a fighter,” Jason said, “but I know her chemotherapy treatments are taking a toll on her. My dad is having a hard time. She’s always been the rock of the family, and he’s so scared of losing her.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck, looking older than his years. “We all are. And Eric is just a sophomore high school, still a kid. So I decided to come home.”
My heart was full of sorrow. I put my hand on Jason’s arm, holding back tears. “Please let me know if there’s anything I can do. Your mom has always been so good to me. I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Thanks.” Jason said. “I appreciate it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “What about you? How are you and your mom doing?”
“Good,” I replied. “My mom got remarried last year.”
Jason lifted his eyebrows in surprise. “Wow. That’s great.”
“Yeah, it’s nice to see her so happy. Keith, her new husband, is a good guy.”
It was hard to believe that Jason was standing in front of me. I wondered how long he had been at Darrenston College. It wasn’t a large school, but it still wouldn’t be hard to not have crossed paths with him, especially with different majors.
“How long have you been at Darrenston?” I asked.
“I haven’t officially started. I’ll start classes after break. I was just finishing up some registration stuff today at the office.” He glanced at his watch. “Do you have time to get a cup of coffee or something?”
“I’m actually on my way to class,” I said regretfully. It had been so long since I had seen him, and all our disputes in the past seemed to melt away. I just wanted to spend time with him. Especially now that I knew what was going on with his mother. “I’m free later tonight. Maybe we could meet up then?”
I was afraid he would refuse, especially since I had been the one to pull away at the end of our senior year. I was relieved, and felt a thrill of excitement, when he smiled.
“I’d like that. Why don’t I pick you up at your place? Is 8:30 good?”
I nodded. That would give me enough time to get home after class and get ready. “That sounds good.”
I was on pins and needles during class. I barely heard a word my writing professor said and kept checking the clock, willing time to go faster. When class was finally over, I raced to my car and had to make a conscious effort not to speed home. I wanted to make sure I had enough time to make myself presentable. My jeans, sweatshirt and careless ponytail wasn’t how I wanted Jason to see me tonight. I didn’t question why I was so excited. We had never said tonight was a date. I assumed it was just two friends catching up. But I was excited, nevertheless.
At 8:30, I saw Jason’s car pull into my driveway from my bedroom window. I checked my appearance before going downstairs. I was wearing a pleated black skirt, boots and a green sweater. I was going for a cool girl look, but my flushed cheeks gave me away. I told myself to calm down and chill out.
When I got downstairs, Jason was already in the foyer, talking to my mom and Keith.
“Daphne,” my mom exclaimed. “You didn’t tell me Jason was back in town. And going to the same school as you now!”
“I didn’t get a chance,” I said, glancing at Jason. In dark jeans and a black leather jacket over a chocolate brown sweater, he looked casually gorgeous.
“I’ve seen pictures of you two as little kids,” Keith announced. “The one where Daphne convinced you to let her give you a makeover, eyeshadow, lipstick and all, is the best one.”
Keith looked pleased by his contribution to the conversation. Keith was slightly balding, his brown hair peppered with gray, but he was still fit and handsome. I could see why my mother was attracted to him, but he wasn’t the greatest conversationalist.
“We have to go now, Mom,” I said, even though we were in no rush. I didn’t want to hear about what other embarrassing pictures Keith had seen.
We said our goodbyes, with Jason promising to come by again soon. I grabbed my coat, relieved to feel the cold air on my warm cheeks.
“I was thinking we could go to Francesca’s,” Jason said. “Are you hungry?”
Francesca’s was an Italian restaurant in the next town over. I had never been there before, as it was a little fancier than the restaurants I usually went to. I was surprised by his suggestion because I thought we were just getting coffee, but also pleased.
“I’m definitely hungry,” I said, relieved that I hadn’t eaten dinner yet. I had been too nervous to eat anything before Jason picked me up. “Francesca’s sounds great.”
Despite my earlier nervousness, we eased into an easy conversation. It felt comfortable and effortless, and it reminded me why it was so enjoyable spending time with Jason. It was a bit of a drive to the restaurant, but it gave us time to catch up. We talked about what we had been doing these past three years while we hadn’t seen each other. Jason told me about the different trips he had taken for his biology major and how interested he was in environmental science. I told him about writing for the college paper, and how I was considering going into journalism.
Jason also told me about his mom’s diagnosis and how his family was handling it. It really sounded like Jason’s dad was a mess and not handling it well, while Jason’s brother seemed like he was in a state of denial. I knew Jason’s presence would help both of them, but I hoped that he wasn’t taking on too much responsibility. I knew it had to be really hard to walk away from the University of Chicago, even though Jason made it sound like it was no big deal.
The restaurant was bustling when we got there. Francesca’s was a cozily decorated Italian bistro, with dim lights and candles softening everything with its glow. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Jason had made a reservation, so we were led straight to a table.
After we ordered our food, Jason leaned forward, his hands folded together on top of the table. “This is nice. I wasn’t sure how you would feel about me going to the same college as you. I didn’t know if you would want to see again.”
“Why not?” I asked, taking a sip of wine the waiter had brought over. I felt very grown up being at dinner with Jason, especially since I had only recently turned twenty-one, and it felt novel ordering wine with dinner.
“We didn’t part on the best of terms,” Jason answered, studying me. “I got the feeling you never wanted to see me again.”
“That was so long ago,” I said. “I admit my ego was bruised. I was embarrassed to see you after everything Marcus had told me.”
Jason frowned. “Why would you be embarrassed? There was nothing to be embarrassed about. If anyone should have been embarrassed, it should have been me.”
I gave him a quizzical look. “Why would you be embarrassed?” Then it dawned on me. “Oh, because of what you said about me?” I waved my hand in dismissal. “I know you didn’t say it the way Marcus told me. You’re not that kind of person.”
Jason drew his eyebrows in sharply. “What are you talking about?”
“Marcus told me that you liked me, even though I was poor.” I started speaking quicker when I saw the thunderous look on Jason’s face. I didn’t want him getting upset about the past. “Like I said, I know you didn’t mean it in a bad way. And you were right. We were in different financial positions.”
“Daphne, what the hell are you talking about?” Jason looked angry. “I never said anything like that to Marcus. The only thing I told him was that I was interested in you, and was hoping that after I came back from California we would start dating.”
I looked at him, confused. “Why would he say that then?”
Jason’s hands on the table tightened into fists. I could feel the anger emanating from him. “I found out too late that Marcus was a snake. His younger brother, Connor, is in the same grade as Eric and they used to be friends. Last year, Eric overheard Marcus saying some messed up shit about me to Connor. I think Marcus was resentful of me and the money my parents have. He basically said he was only friends with me for what I could give him, and that he wished I would experience losing everything. When I confronted him, he could only put up the act for so long, and finally told me he despised me and I didn’t deserve my life.” Jason took a deep breath. “I couldn’t believe it. Marcus was my best friend since middle school. I considered him to be like a brother.” Jason expression soured. “And all that time, he resented me. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he lied to you to sabotage me.”
I was shocked by Jason’s revelation. Even though I had never known Marcus well, I couldn’t believe his hateful feelings towards Jason. When I had talked to him on that fateful day at the mall, he had spoken about Jason almost reverently. I couldn’t believe it had all been an act.
“Did he say anything else to you?” Jason asked, looking troubled.
“Well,” I said, hesitantly. I had never said anything to my mother about taking money from Jason’s family. I had pushed it to the back of my mind, telling myself whatever she took, it was because she needed it. Now I desperately wanted to ask Jason if it was true, but I didn’t want to upset him more by finding out even more lies Marcus may have told. I bit my lip, unsure if I should say anything.
“Tell me,” Jason said. “I can see you want to say something.”
I sighed. It would be best just to get everything out in the open. “He told me that my mom was taking money from your parents regularly.”
When Jason didn’t answer right away, my heart sunk. So maybe that was true. I told myself it didn’t matter. I trusted my mother that she had only done what was necessary to survive.
“I only know this because I overheard my parents talking about it, and I demanded they tell me. Your mom borrowed money right around when your dad first left, because she was struggling to pay the mortgage.” Jason expression looked concerned as he told me. “But it was only that one time, and she paid it back within a few months. With interest. My parents argued with her, but your mom said she refused to borrow any money without paying back with interest.”
I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath until I let it out. That sounded right. It sounded like my mom. I frowned. “But how did Marcus know anything about that?”
Jason shook his head. “I don’t know. But he spent so much time at my house, I’m sure he found out one way or another.” Jason pushed his hair back in frustration. “I can’’t believe he said all that shit to you.” He stilled, looking into my eyes. “Is that why you pushed me away? Why you decided you wanted nothing between us?”
I bit my lip, nodding. “I know it sounds dumb, but it made me feel insecure. And I didn’t want you to be with me out of pity.”
“Fuck, Daphne,” Jason expelled in anger. “Pity was the last thing I felt for you. If anything, I was hoping you would think I was good enough for you.” Jason’s mouth thinned in bitterness. “To think, if only that asshole hadn’t lied to you, things could be different.”
My heart sank when I realized how stupid I had been. I should have just asked Jason straight out if he had said those things, instead of being insecure and just believing everything Marcus had told me.
“I’m sorry I believed Marcus,” I said, my voice regretful. “It was so stupid of me. I should have told you what he said and asked you if it was true.”
Jason shook his head. “You had no reason to think he would lie to you. Hell, he was my best friend. I thought I knew him so well, yet he had me fooled.” Jason sighed heavily. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“It’s in the past,” I said, reaching over to put one of my hands on his, trying to comfort him. I couldn’t imagine the betrayal he felt finding out his closest friend secretly hated him, and was actively doing things to sabotage his life. “Let’s not think about it.”
Jason looked down at my hand on his, and then raised his gaze to mine, his eyes piercing. “If Marcus hadn’t lied to you, would your answer have been different back then?”
I gave him a small smile, feeling a pang of regret. “Yes, it would have been different. I basically fell head over heels for you our senior year. I was worried that being far apart during college would be hard, but I had been willing to try. I’m just sorry that I let Marcus get in the way.”
Jason turned the hand that was under mine over so our palms were together. My pulse began to race when he intertwined his fingers with mine.
“We’re not far apart now,” he said quietly.
The waiter chose this inopportune moment to appear with our food. I quickly drew my hand away so he could place our plates on the table. I felt flushed and clumsy, and I didn’t know what to say or do, so I just dug into my food with gusto. Jason looked at me consideringly for a few moments, before starting in on his own food. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed when he changed the topic to people we knew in high school and what they were doing now.
I pushed my feelings of awkwardness aside, and we fell into a natural, easy conversation. I told myself not to think about what Jason had said, otherwise I would melt into a puddle on the floor. Once I got ahold of myself, the rest of dinner was fun and enjoyable. Being with Jason always made me feel so happy and alive.
We lingered over dinner, not wanting the night to end. We finally left after our second cup of coffee. It was blustery and cold when we left the restaurant, but I barely felt it. I felt so warm inside, and I knew it wasn’t from the glass of wine I had with dinner. I felt almost giddy being with Jason. I wished this night would go on forever.
Jason turned up the heat when we got into the car. “Do you mind if we drive around a bit? We could go to Miller’s Pond. Or do you need to get home?”
I was more than happy to spend more time with Jason. Miller’s Pond was a large lake that was popular in the summertime, but in the winter, people would park their cars there to stargaze. Amongst other things.
“No, that sounds nice,” I said. The drive to Miller’s Pond was relatively quiet, but my pulse quickened the closer we got. The scent of his cologne was enough to make me dig my nails into my palms in anticipation. I was pretty sure we weren’t going to Miller’s Pond to look at stars.
There were a few other cars parked at the lake when we got there, and Jason found a spot that was set apart from them. He kept the car on to keep the heat on, but I wasn’t sure I needed it. I was already feeling hot on my own.
I swallowed when he turned to me, his eyes serious and looking darker blue than usual.
“Daphne, I know it’s been years since we’ve seen each other, but my feelings haven’t changed. I still want you.”
My throat went dry at Jason’s admission. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? I wanted him too, but I didn’t think I could make the words come out of my mouth.
“I’m sorry things got so messed up before,” I said instead, regret washing over me again. “It was such a waste.”
Jason shook his head. “Let’s not think about it anymore. We can’t change the past.” He paused, his voice growing low. “Do you feel the same?” He reached out, his hand cupping my jaw. His thumb gently brushed over my bottom lip, sending shivers down my spine. “Do you want me?”
My insides were melting and I lost all ability to speak. I just nodded, afraid squeaks would just come out of my mouth if I tried to answer. But that was all the answer Jason needed. He leaned forward, his lips gently brushing mine. My eyes fluttered closed, letting myself get lost in the sensation. Our lips clung together, and I tilted my head up, surrendering myself to his kiss. Jason groaned, his hand shifting to the base of my head, pulling me closer.
The kiss deepened, his mouth opening and his tongue gaining entry into my mouth. A moan escaped me when his tongue started stroking mine, desire awakening deep inside me. The only time I had felt like this was when Jason had kissed me that one time, years ago. But the sensations now were magnified by a thousand.
“God, you taste good,” Jason rasped against my mouth. “I’ve been waiting for this forever.”
“Jason.” I didn’t recognize my own voice. It was throaty and thick with desire. I wasn’t sure why I was calling his name. I just needed him.
Jason pushed both his hands into my hair in response, holding me captive, his mouth hard on mine. His lip slaked over mine again and again, our tongues tangling together, our breaths wild and hard. I felt like I was drowning and the only thing that could save me was Jason’s mouth.
Jason made a sound of frustration when his hands lowered and slid down my back. He was trying to pull me closer but the console between us was in the way. He tore his mouth from mine, quickly pushing the button to move his seat back as far as possible. Before I knew it, I was being lifted over the console, my coat being pushed off in the process. I was shocked when I was suddenly straddling Jason, his hard bulge pressing into me. Since I had on a skirt, there was only the barrier of my underwear against his rough jeans. I had to fight the impulse to grind myself against him, not wanting to seem wanton.
Jason pulled my face towards him, continuing our wild kiss. I gasped when his hand found his way up my sweater and under my bra, finding my hard nipple and rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. I didn’t have much experience, and a kiss was as far as I had ever gotten. Feeling someone else’s hands on an intimate part of my body was a new experience, but one that was intoxicating.
I cried out in pleasure as Jason continued, his fingers pulling and squeezing my nipple. My head tipped back, breaking off the kiss, because Jason’s manipulations were too much. It felt too good, too intense. My breathing was ragged, and I could see how foggy the windows were getting.
My back was leaning against the steering wheel, arched as pleasure coursed through me. I didn’t think the feeling could get any better until Jason shoved my sweater up and my bra out of the way. All thoughts fled my mind as his warm wet mouth enveloped one taut nipple. I was practically sobbing as Jason rolled his tongue around my nipple, laving it again and again. Wetness pooled between my legs as his teeth gently gripped my aching nipple, tugging. His hands were kneading my breasts as he suckled on my nipples, making sure to give each equal attention.
“Oh, God, Jason,” I moaned, feeling like my body was on fire. “It feels too good.”
“I want more,” he growled. I looked down at him, and his eyes were almost black with desire. He broke away from my breasts, and I could see the red marks of where his fingers had been.
I gasped when his hand slid up between my thighs, his thumb pushing up my slit, over the wet satin of my panties. I grabbed his hand in panic, shaken at how fast everything was going.
Jason’s hands stilled as he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, he gave me a rueful smile.
“I’m sorry, I’m going too fast. I didn’t mean to push so hard. I kind of lost it there.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want Jason to get the wrong idea. Everything had felt so good. Too good. I just wanted to make sure we weren’t rushing into anything.
“No, it’s okay. It’s more than okay. I just…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say. Everything with Jason had felt so good. It just seemed to be going at breakneck speed. I had just seen him today for the first time in years, and I was already practically panting for him to be inside of me.
“No, you’re right.” Jason said. He fixed my bra and pulled my sweater down. I suddenly felt bereft when he lifted me up and over the console, back in my seat. I longed for the warmth of his body against mine. “I don’t want our first time to be in a car. It should be special.”
I swallowed hard. Our first time ? It sounded like he thought it was a given. But wasn’t it? I was already partly regretting stopping him tonight.
Jason took one of my hands in his, intertwining our fingers. “If you couldn’t tell, I want us to be together.” He suddenly looked unsure of himself, far removed from the man who had just given me so much pleasure. “What about you?”
My heart squeezed at his vulnerability. If I was going to be truthful with myself, there had never been anyone but Jason. And I wanted nothing more than to be with him.
“I want that, too,” I said. Jason’s uncertainty disappeared at my words, and his expression lightened. HIs grin was infectious and I found myself smiling back at him. Jason lifted my hand up to his mouth, kissing it.
“Daphne Fairfield, you’re mine now.” Jason was grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t you forget it.”
“I won’t,” I said, my heart soaring. I was so happy that it was almost unbearable. Finally, things were right between me and Jason. I would never take it for granted.