Chapter Thirty
Six months later
I ended the zoom session with my therapist and stretched my back before closing my laptop. Our online sessions were therapeutic but draining, as my emotions were laid bare. But we were doing good work, and I was making progress with my agoraphobia. I was now able to leave my house to go to familiar places nearby, like the grocery store or post office. I still got anxiety, but it wasn’t debilitating anymore and I was able to handle it.
I went downstairs and saw Jason at the dining room table, working on his laptop. His face lit up with a grin when he saw me, and he pushed his chair away from the table. He grabbed my arm as I came close and pulled me so I was sitting on his lap.
“I’ve missed you,” he said, nuzzling my neck.
“That tickles,” I laughed, pushing away from him slightly, but not too much. I felt so safe and loved in his arms. And for the first time in a long time, I felt truly happy. I was no longer burdened by my secrets, and nothing was haunting me. I was free to live and love and experience joy and happiness. It was exhilarating.
Shelby was in a mental institution, and probably would be for the rest of her life. I put her, and Keith, in the past and closed those chapters of my life. I chose to only remember my mother, and the love and happy memories we had shared while she was alive.
“Is Chloe coming to town this weekend?” Jason asked.
“No, she’s too busy tying up loose ends,” I said. “Maybe next weekend.”
Chloe frequently came to visit on the weekends, but she was in the midst of a divorce from her husband, and she had a lot of stuff to take care of before it was finalized. It turned out, Chloe was right, and Gareth didn’t just have an innocent relationship with his co-worker. They were having an affair. He had begged and cried for forgiveness, but Chloe was done. When the divorce was finalized, she was planning on moving back to Hyattsville to figure out what her next steps would be. She said Hyattsville still felt like home. I was so sad for her about the dissolution of her marriage, but was so proud of her for standing up for herself.
“She thinks she’ll be moving back here in about two months,” I continued. “She’s quitting her job at her real estate agency there, and will work for a local one here.”
“It’ll be nice for you to have her around more often,” Jason said, smiling at me gently. “Before we make our big move.”
Jason’s company had offered to move him to their Colorado office, because he had told them he was done traveling and wanted to stay in one place for work. He had made it clear to them that he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to move there, and that until he was ready, he would have to work remotely. Thankfully, they apparently valued him as an employee because they agreed.
Jason told me repeatedly how proud he was of the progress I was making, but that we were in no rush and I should take my time conquering my fear of going out in public. I knew he meant it, but the thought of moving to Colorado to start a new life with Jason gave me more motivation to overcome my phobia. Jason had planned a romantic proposal to me a month ago, and I had cried tears of overwhelming joy as I answered yes. That night, I had dreamed of my mother, and she had seemed at peace. I knew she was watching over me and was proud and happy for me. I didn’t need this physical house to feel connected to her anymore. I knew she would be in my heart wherever I went.
Chloe had been overjoyed when she learned about the engagement, and was already itching to help plan the wedding, even though we hadn’t even set a date yet. I had been afraid that learning about our engagement would be hard for her since she was in the midst of a divorce, but she embraced it and had already accepted being the maid of honor. Jason’s family had been ecstatic to hear about our engagement as well. I had become close with his mother again, and she had been up to visit from where they now lived in Virginia several times. I had found out that she had attended my mother’s funeral without me realizing. She had stayed in the back, because she hadn’t been sure if I wanted to see her since I had avoided all her calls. Jason’s family were still planning on selling their old home in Hyattsville, and was going to have Chloe be their agent when she moved back.
“I can’t wait to move to Colorado,” I said, feeling excitement rise. “Just give me four months, and I think I’ll be able to make the move.”
Jason raised my hand to his mouth, kissing my palm. “Take as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere without you.” He grinned and turned my hand over, looking at the big sparking engagement ring that now resided on my finger. “Especially now that you belong to me.”
I smiled at him, an ache in my chest. “I’ve always belonged to you,” I said softly. “I’ll never let anything get between us again.”
“Promise?” Jason said, his voice gruff with emotion.
“Promise,” I said, meaning it. Jason was my forever, and nothing could ever change that.
I leaned over to seal the promise with a soft kiss, and Jason cradled my face in his hands, returning the kiss with all the love in the world. This was where I belonged, forever.