6. Charli
CHARLI
Slumped on the bench, I watch Tyler as he storms off without a look behind him.
Slightly embarrassed at our public fight, I look around.
Tall trees grow in clumps around the edge of the green grass and a gravel path cuts through the center.
The street beside is busy with cars, and people mill about watching the sunset.
Kids are eating drippy ice cream cones and there are still a few boats coming from the bay.
The breeze comes through the park blowing my hair off the back of my now slightly sweaty neck. Thoughts race through my head, making it spin. Or maybe that’s the tequila. Getting drunk was a stupid choice on the verge of a big life moment.
Fuck.
I fish my phone out of my purse and call Oliver to come get me. A few minutes later, he’s helping me into his small SUV.
“I brought you a bucket. I just cleaned my car.”
“Thanks,” I mumble. My stomach gurgles when we hit a bump and I stifle a burp. Shit. That’s a bad sign. He pulls out into the street and drives to my neighborhood, the windows down, warm air floating around us. My hair flutters in the breeze and I feel free.
After making it home, Oliver gets some water and pain reliever for me. “You’re going to feel like crap tomorrow.”
* * *
After a wretched day being hungover at work, I head home for a bit before going to Mimi and Pop’s for the barbecue.
A power nap is needed before I face my family.
I wake up a little groggy and take a hot shower.
It was like that tequila was seeping out of my pores all day making me relive those fish tacos all over again.
I pop one more pain reliever and chug another water before dressing for dinner.
I’m going casual, jean shorts, a t-shirt and my Vans sneakers, with a hoodie for later.
Forget about cooking, I’m going to stop by the Coastal Market and pick up something instead.
They won’t care after I tell them my news about Tyler.
I get a random text from my brother, Ian. He usually only makes contact for emergencies or holidays. I’m shocked to get a friendly message.
Ian: Have a good weekend with the cousins.
Me: You can come down too.
Ian: Too far.
Me: What about swimming?
Ian: I have a pool at my condo.
Me: It’s not the same as the ocean.
Ian: I know. Love you.
Me: You too.
He’s so different from when we were kids. He liked to be outside with me and Pop all the time. Now he’s constantly holed up in his office being a lawyer and never leaves the city. Honestly, I miss him. We got through Mom leaving and Dad remarrying, now we hardly ever see each other.
I pull up to Mimi and Pop’s and find everyone out on the front porch sitting at the big table.
Their voices carry over the driveway. I love my grandparents’ house.
It sits up on a hill above the harbor, giving a perfect view of the bay from their porch.
Their home is stained a natural dark color and has black trim with dark green accents.
There are a few cottages in the backyard that they rent out to tourists during the high season, but since they aren’t heated, they close them up for the winter.
Tall pine trees surround the backyard and Mimi has a beautiful garden out front.
Big hydrangeas are getting ready to bloom, along with daisies, hollyhocks, and coneflowers.
The hostas are already filling out and surrounding the edges of the garden.
It can get windy and cold in the winter, but it’s the perfect place to sit and relax in the summer.
Andi and Sam jump up from the table and pound down the steps, wrapping me in a giant hug.
They bounce up and down squealing like they’re ten years old again.
I succumb and join in with them. I lost touch with many of my friends that I grew up with when most of them moved away after college, but these girls and Oliver are my besties.
We’re cousins; our moms are sisters. We all have the same green eyes, but we have our differences too.
Sam has long straight dark hair and she’s always put together.
Andi’s hair is auburn and wavy, but not quite curly like mine.
Freckles spread across her nose and cheeks.
She’s the wild one out of us, and she’s got a big personality.
Andi leans in and whispers, “How was the date last night? Hot or what?”
“Yes, we want details,” Sam adds.
I hang my head down and then look up. “A major crash and burn. I had too many margaritas, I walked out of the restaurant, we fought at the park, broke up, and Oliver came for me.”
“Shut up!” Andi whisper yells.
Sam claps a hand over her mouth in shock.
Andi loops her arm around my neck and leans on my shoulder. “Is it for good this time?”
I bite my lower lip and grimace, “Yeah, I told him I thought we grew apart and wanted different things.”
“Girls, come on up and let Charli have some appetizers here,” Mimi announces. Clad in a gingham dress and her white bobbed hair in a stylish wave, she is the picture of the perfect hostess.
We link arms and walk back up the steps to the porch.
Pop comes from around the corner. “Charli, how are you doing today? I’m so glad to have you all here again, just like old times.
” His hair and beard are a little whiter than they used to be, but he hasn’t let his age slow him down.
He works at the marina shop now, is still involved in the boat building school, and loves sailing their boat.
“Are you two in the attic room again?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
Sam rubs her palms together. “No, Mimi had a cancellation and we’re getting BayView cottage for all three nights.”
“Nothing but the best for our girls, right, Margaret?” Pop says in his deep voice. The tension is starting to roll off me by just being with them all tonight.
Mimi pats his arm lovingly. “Of course, dear. It’ll be a wonderful weekend together.”
We settle down at the table and finish up the appetizers — hot steamed littlenecks dipped in butter, clams casino, and some fresh bread.
Pop grills a tray of chicken and Mimi brings out a cold potato salad and a fresh green garden salad.
We fill ourselves with the food as the daylight wanes and reflects off the water in the harbor.
Mimi serves up the peach pie I brought from the market with some vanilla ice cream from the shop in town.
This is just what I needed after last night’s fiasco.
“What will you three be up to this weekend?” Mimi asks as she sets the pie aside.
Andi takes a bite of ice cream. “You know, the beach, going out, paddle-boarding, the usual stuff.”
Pop leans back in his chair and folds his arms across his chest. “Will you go out to Jensen Island on the ferry? It’s supposed to be nice out there. Not too hot.”
I look down and then reply to him. “I don’t think so. Tyler and I are over for good.”
Mimi grabs my hand and rubs it. “It’s hard to say goodbye to your first love, sweetie. You two have a long history, but sometimes change is a good thing.”
“Yeah, we’ll take your mind off things this weekend and have some fun.” Sam pats my shoulder.
“When you meet the right person, you feel it in your bones, honey,” Pop says sympathetically.
After sunset, Mimi and Pop head to bed and the girls and I sit in the rocking chairs on the porch in the moonlight.
Lights twinkle from the harbor, the moon full and reflecting off the inky water below.
A string of lights form a crescent across the bay in Port City and little blobs flicker around from boats which are still out on the bay.
“So what really happened last night?” Andi asks pointedly.
“I told you.”
“Spill it,” Sam orders.
“I was nervous because we hadn’t been together in over a month. He gave me an ultimatum about making a commitment and I wanted to talk about taking a trip. Then it all backfired.” The only sound is our chairs creaking on the porch as we rock. They both wait for me to explain.
“What else happened after that?” Andi sits up and practically shouts.
I take a heavy breath. “He’s going for a promotion at work, and wants to buy a house and have me move in.”
“Wow.” Andi snorts, flopping back into her chair.
“I need to focus on myself and figure out what I want. His plans always come first, and I’m tired of waiting to be equal,” I say.
“You know, you're not going to be like Aunt Susanna,” Sam, the voice of reason, interjects.
“You two are so different, my mom says so all the time. You’re more like Mimi,” Andi says, reaching over to squeeze my knee. “Plus, if you’re hesitating about taking the next step with him after so long, it’s probably a sign.”
Sam nods. “I can see you having little kids some day and being the best mom. But it’s okay to want an adventure too.”
That’s it, it's all going to come out now. I shake with a sob. “I want to have a family someday. But if I don’t get the chance to be myself, I might make the same mistakes and abandon my kids.” I hug my arms to myself as the tears flow.
“You won’t. You’re already so different from Aunt Susanna,” Andi reassures me.
“I just, I just, I still love him, but . . .”
Sam gets up and bends down right in front of me and in a hushed tone whispers, “You can love someone and not be in love with them.”
“Like Mimi said, it’s hard to say goodbye to your first love,” Andi adds.
Sam chuckles as she gets up to return to her chair, “Especially when he looks like Tyler.”
“He wants normal things in life and I panic when I think about it. I get that most women would be thrilled that their boyfriend wanted to commit. I still want to explore. I've only been to Quebec on a two-night class trip, like twelve years ago.”
Sam flips her hair. “So what’s holding you up? Go somewhere. Or is it something else?”
“I don’t want to regret not traveling before having a family and then become bitter about my choices. I’m tired of being responsible and putting my needs on the back-burner.” It’s a relief admitting this to my family, and refreshing that they’re supporting me.
“Why don't you do a solo trip or a women's only trip. You don't need to be around any men right now. Just focus on you,” Andi adds before she yawns and stretches her hands up high.
“Maybe I will, I need to get over this for myself.” I sit back down in my rocker and push myself back and forth staring at the bay.
A new sense of confidence sparks inside me. I don’t need anyone’s permission to go away on my own. Well, maybe only Oliver’s. I could pretend I’m on vacation this weekend and try something new. But, what? Seascape is my hometown. I’ve done everything there is to do here.