39. Gage
GAGE
It’s a gorgeous summer evening as the crew and I return to the harbor from our afternoon sail around the bay.
The air is dry and the skies are clear, with a light easterly breeze blowing.
Our group has been pleasant, three couples in their fifties who are relaxed and in town for the weekend, making our work easier.
The channel markers come into my view as Teddy loosens the lines on the sheets.
Good thing I can do this on autopilot because my mind has been wandering to Charli all day.
Jensen Island was fucking crazy. She totally trusted me and it was such a fucking turn on.
I pushed us both more than I thought I would.
But, she completely let go with me. What we experienced together was so much better because we’re emotionally invested in each other.
I keep thinking about all those things we said to each other in the darkness.
Our connection is addicting. I want to be with her all the time and when I’m not, I’m consumed by thoughts of her.
It’s hard to manage everything I’m feeling for her right now; I’m too afraid of what it might mean.
She cracked something open inside me. Now that I’ve let her in, I don’t want to be without her.
There’s little wisps of hope threading their way into my soul.
I want strings. I want to be attached. Attached to her. To here.
It’s hard to reconcile how to make a new life here. I don't know how I’d stay in Seascape after living without a permanent home for so many years.
This weekend will be a test; my sister is visiting. I love Gabby, but I’ll be totally screwed. She’ll see right through me and know I’m in love with Charlie despite my best efforts to guard my heart.
I’m looking forward to seeing Gab, but she can be over the top sometimes; we’re complete opposites. I’m casual and not a nine-to-five person with a cubicle. She’s polished and professional, but she can be uptight too. Hopefully she can relax while she’s here.
She’s arriving tonight and Charli is going to meet us for a quick pizza dinner before my sister comes on the sunset sail with me.
Charli is already at a table at Nonno’s Pizza when Gabby and I walk through the door.
She has her back to us, her long wavy hair cascading over her shoulders and covering most of her black tank top.
She turns to the door when she hears the bell clang and her face lights up into a huge smile, making her dimples pop out.
“She’s beautiful,” Gabby says as she leans to my ear and jabs me in the ribs.
She pops up from the table and greets Gabby first. “Hi, I’m Charli, it's so nice to meet you.”
They hug hello, and Charli looks over Gabby’s shoulder and lifts her eyebrows at me. “Gage has already met most of my family, so I’m glad you came for a visit.”
Gabby looks at me and quirks her lips. She likes her already. “Work keeps me really busy in Boston, but we try to get together when he’s up here in the summer.”
I give Charli a quick kiss before sliding into the booth next to her, while Gabby sits opposite us. There’s already a pitcher of beer and three glasses that Charli ordered for us ahead of time.
Charli taps the table with her fingers. “You two look so much alike.”
Gabby looks up and makes a face. Her nose wrinkles and she blinks her dark brown eyes at us. “I know. We always get that. But of course, I’m the pretty one.” She flicks her long blond ponytail over her shoulder and tilts her head.
I laugh and add, “You’re also the short one.”
She huffs, “I’m 5' 6” without heels, and that’s above average.” She studies the menu some more. “So, what’s good here?”
“We like the Greek pizza with everything on it,” I reply.
She pushes the menu aside. “Sounds good to me.” She takes a deep breath and pushes a stray hair behind her ear. “So tell me how you two met.”
Charli tells her about dropping her keys near me, bumping into me while on a date at the taqueria, and then me subsequently semi-stalking her at her shop, before finally seeing me at The Rooftop Bar.
I haven’t heard her tell this story before and she keeps blushing and turning to me to confirm facts.
I hang on every word; she’s so adorable.
Finally, she remarks about my heart melting smile then pauses to take a big gulp of her beer. She finishes with, “We got to know each other as friends first.” And she turns to look at me before giving my knee a squeeze under the table. “Until it was more than that.”
I glance back at my sister and as predicted, my fears have come true. We lock eyes for a split second and it’s like she just saw the ending of the movie before even watching it.
Our pizza arrives and we dig in, each grabbing a slice. My nerves disappear as the meal progresses.
Charli asks, “Was he always such a neat freak?”
Gabby laughs and slaps the table. “Oh my God, yes. He had a whole collection of cleaning toys to help our mom around the house and he liked to dust for fun.”
I laugh along with them. “I would have an awesome back-up business if I decide to give up sailing to start my own cleaning company.”
After dinner, we pop into the Rooftop Bar for a round of drinks.
Gabby leads the way and looks ready for her weekend here.
I’m glad that she can get her mind off her loser boss.
But, I’m not too sure about the way the bartender is checking her out though.
We say our goodbyes and I pull Charli in for a kiss while Gabby checks her phone.
* * *
It’s like old times when my sister runs the evening cruise with me. There’s a sense of comfort with her that I didn’t realize I had been missing. Once the guests depart and the boat is tied up, we sit in the cockpit to enjoy a couple of cold beers.
“Wow. Cheers to you.”
“Thanks.” I furrow my brow at her. “For what?”
“For making a successful business and falling in love. I’m really happy for you two.”
I gape at her, feeling exposed, then resign to ask her advice. “Gab, I do love her, but I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do,” I sputter. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“Did you two talk about it?” she asks cautiously.
“Sort of, but nothing came of it.” I rake my hand through my hair. “We got distracted.”
She snorts and then gulps down another swig. “What are you doing about your travel south this winter?”
“I plan on leaving here in October. Why?”
“Are you going to do long distance? Is she going with you?”
I sigh and lean back. “She has a business here and Bill needs the boat. Plus what work can I do? I’m not like you.”
“You could get a regular job here.”
“Working in sailing is important to me because of dad. I don’t want to be miserable because I hate what I do.”
She raises her eyebrows at me. “Look, I don’t know her very well, but I think she has it just as bad for you.” Draining her beer, she sets it down. “You could ask her to go with you? She might say no, but she might say yes.”
I yank on my hair and run my hands through it. I lean forward and hang my head down. “I’m just scared, Gab. If we stay together, what if something happens?” I croak out, “Like dad.”
She scoots over to me. “You don’t know what the future holds.” She pats my back and leans on me, resting her head on my shoulder. “But I hate seeing you close yourself off from everyone to protect yourself. That’s no way to live.”
A lump forms in my throat and I sniff. It hurts so much already. “Arrrgh,” I groan. “I feel so . . . my heart just . . . When we’re together . . .”
Gabby takes pity on me struggling with my words. “Gage, she’s bringing you back to life. You’ve started making a life here with her.”
I sniff and wipe my nose with the back of my hand. “That wasn’t part of my plan though. And I don’t have the best track record.”
“Everybody has a past. If things worked out with any of your past girlfriends you wouldn’t be here now.”
I give her a wry smile. She always knows what to say.
“Plans change. Wash your face and go see her. And do something with your hair. We have plenty of time to hang out this weekend. I can relax in my bunk and read my book for a while.”
“You don't mind?”
“Well, come back eventually,” she laughs. “Don’t leave me here alone all night.”
“Okay, thanks.” I sit up and pat her knee.
* * *
I knock lightly on Charli’s door. A light flickers on and she’s at the door in her short silk robe looking sleepy. “I thought you were hanging out with your sister?”
I kiss her, nipping at her lower lip. “She was tired and was going to go to bed. And I missed you.” I nibble on her neck and up to her ear. “I can’t stay all night, but I had to see you.”
She leads me back to her room and we strip off our clothes wordlessly.
All my feelings are bubbling up in me, but I can’t seem to get them out.
I do my best to show Charli what’s in my heart in my tenderness.
We take it slow and she shatters in my arms. The moonlight filters into her room and illuminates her smooth skin as I caress her all over.
Lying still, we rest together quietly, her breathing slowing down.
I know she has to work early tomorrow as she snuggles into me, drifting off to sleep.
Brushing back her hair, I kiss the side of her head and whisper, “I’m falling in love with you.” I wish I could say it to her face. My heart surges. I don’t know how I got through each day before I met her.
I dress quietly and lock her front door before I slip out into the night air. The crickets chirp in the darkness.
The rest of the weekend passes, Gabby and I see Charli at her shop. My business savvy, forever type A sister seems super impressed by the food and success of it all. They plan to talk about marketing strategies for the new location with Oliver.
Wrapping up the weekend on the last night, we head out to watch the sunset at the beach trail with Harvey.
Charli packs her Jeep with the essentials to watch the sunset before picking the three of us up at the pier, a cooler of beers and some sandwiches from her shop, plus beach chairs and some blankets.
She’s wearing one of my sweatshirts over her jean shorts and her long hair is in a braid under her hat.
Gabby sits in the back with Harvey as we bump down the sandy trail.
It's a clear night, with a light breeze. I feel apprehensive, but I don’t know how to make things work with Charli unless we’re together every day.
The bugs and the birds call over the waves crashing on the shore.
The sun sits low in the sky casting a glow over the dunes, beach roses and pine trees cover the hills of sand.
We pull off and choose our spot. This is the wilder part of the beach, it’s not monitored as much or guarded for swimming, there’s large pieces of driftwood and clumps of dead seaweed spread out.
The sand is cold on our feet with the sun going down. We make a semi-circle of our chairs and face west to watch the sunset. Harvey and Gabby take a walk down the beach snapping pictures of the view.
“You know Sam, Andi, and I used to play in the dunes here when we were little. We would come out here for bonfires like this and hide in the dunes when the grownups were sitting around talking.”
“Sounds like a good memory,” I murmur softly.
“At night the sand is cold on your feet, but when you duck behind the dunes to get out of the wind you feel warm again.” She leans closer to me. “And now you can’t walk in there because they’re protected as bird habitats.”
“Birds need a place to live too.”
She wrinkles her nose with a little chuckle. “The piping plovers are cute.”
We snuggle together on the blanket, Charli sitting between my knees resting her back against my chest. It would be so nice to do this year after year with her, and make more memories in this place.
I rub her shoulders and she stretches her neck and lets out a soft moan. “Don’t stop, baby, that feels so good.”
“Tone it down, you’ll get me hard in front of my sister.”
She sighs. “Too bad we aren’t here alone. We could be together while we watched the sunset.”
“I guess that’ll have to wait for another night.” I sigh as I see them turn and begin the walk back to us.
She tilts her head back and says, “I’ll give you a naked massage later. I can touch all your big muscles and blow you.”
“Please stop. They’re coming back and I’m hard now.”
“You won’t be saying please stop later when we’re alone,” she teases as she scoots away from me.
“That’s for sure,” I mumble as I will my erection to die down.
The sunset is another amazing one. Bright oranges, pinks, and purples streak the sky as the sun dips lower along the coastline.
This place is really beautiful. Uncle Bill was spot on this year when he got me to come here.
I had been so afraid to face my regrets, I didn’t know what I was missing out on.
And I’m surprised at how happy I feel knowing that Charli and my sister get along. Charli isn’t a casual fling who never meets my family. We’re becoming part of each other’s lives. I didn’t know it could be like this.