2. Chapter 2
Chapter 2
NOLAN
“You’re fucking with me.” I bark out a laugh, my hand bumping against Caspian’s as we head down the boardwalk towards the bustling tourist strip and the tiki bar. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye for the millionth time, and my body flushes hot all over again.
It’s impossible to wrap my head around how the squishy little marshmallow kid I remember grew into… this . If they gave out awards for glow ups, Caspian would be an Olympic gold medal winner.
He looks over at me with a grin, marking an X over his chest with his index finger. “Swear to god. If I were going to make up a career, why would I pick gay romance author?”
“Um, because it’s cool as fuck.” I bump my arm against his, purposefully this time, and I don’t think I’m imagining the flicker of heat that passes through his eyes. Or maybe I am. Either way, butterflies dance through my stomach and an alarm blares in my head, reminding me that this isn’t just some hot dude I ran into, it’s my best friend’s little brother.
I drag my gaze over his full body again and bite back a sigh. More like my best friend’s not-so-little brother. But fuck, there are rules against this kind of thing, right? Family members and exes are off limits between friends.
“Good point,” he says shamelessly. “It’s a really fucking cool job.”
His voice is dripping with confidence and self-assurance, and it shoots through me like electricity. Fuck, that’s even hotter than all the rest of it. Who the hell is Caspian Martin? Clearly, I didn’t know a thing about him when we were kids, but I guess I’ll have the summer to find out. That thought makes my stomach flutter even harder and the smile on my lips grow wider.
We near the bar, and Caspian jogs the last couple of steps so he can reach the door before me, pulling it open and gesturing me through. It’s packed inside, which isn’t surprising considering how many people flock to Bluewater Bay every summer. Tropical music plays through the overhead speakers and the smell of alcohol and sunscreen tickles my nose. Caspian nods towards a table a few people are getting up from.
“Go grab that and I’ll get drinks. Any requests?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to argue against him buying, but anxiety tightens my chest before I can say anything. Who knows how long it’ll be before I find another job? Plus, I’ll have a security deposit and moving expenses to consider. I have a small nest egg saved, but every penny feels like it counts right now. I swallow my embarrassment and shake my head.
“Whatever is fine.”
“Cool.” He pats me on the shoulder and heads up to the bar while I go claim the table before anyone else can swoop in and grab it.
While I wait for Caspian to get back with our drinks, I scope out the crowded bar. My attention snags on a small group of guys gathered around a table, one of them wearing a rainbow bracelet, which is a decent sign that some if not all of them are queer. They’re all classic beach bros, dressed in tank tops that show off their bronzed skin and rippling muscles, with sunglass lines around their eyes, and toothy white smiles on their faces. Hooking up was definitely part of my summer plan. Getting all primal and sweaty with someone seems like a necessary reward for having to spend the rest of my time sending out résumés and moping about how my life fell apart in the blink of an eye. I glance back at Caspian, leaning over the bar, waiting for our drinks. Would it be weird to bring guys back to the house while he’s there? Shit, is he going to be bringing guys to the house?
My stomach swoops as I imagine having to listen to his loud sex sounds all night long. My cock swells against my thigh and my mouth goes dry. Maybe staying here all alone with him is a bad idea. He said he needs to work, maybe I’ll just be in the way.
Except I have nowhere else to go. My gut fills with lead and my shoulders sag.
How the hell did everything go so wrong so damn fast? I did everything I was supposed to do. I gave up the impractical idea of my dream job in favor of something that was supposed to be stable, I did the smart thing and found a roommate so I’d have more wiggle room to save up money, and I focused on my career, telling myself there would be time for a social life later.
“See now, that look right there is going to go straight to my ego. I’m gone for two minutes, and you look like someone kicked your puppy.” The flirtatious lilt in Caspian’s voice makes my skin heat.
I snap my eyes up to meet his and blow out a breath that turns into a huff of laughter halfway through.
“What can I say? I just missed you so much,” I deadpan.
He laughs and sets two shot glasses and two mixed drinks down on the table.
“Tequila for your thoughts?” He waggles his eyebrows and shoves one of the shot glasses towards me.
I click my tongue. “You’re showing your age, Cas. Everyone knows tequila and depression never mix well.”
I pluck the lime off the edge of one of the mixed drinks, then bring the shot to my mouth. I down it in a quick gulp, biting into the lime to chase the bitter taste as it burns down my throat. I wince and lick my lips, and he does the same.
“You can’t be depressed at the beach. It’s, like, against the law.” As soon as his shot is gone, he picks up his mixed drink and takes a hearty gulp.
“Is that so?” I chuckle.
He nods with a serious expression. “It’s in the city’s bylaws, actually. You should take a look.”
“Oh yeah?” I drag my drink over and take a sip. It’s fruity, overly sweet, and clearly mixed with a generous amount of tequila too.
“No clue. I actually don’t even know what bylaws are.”
I laugh again, and the clouds I managed to gather around myself in the short time he was getting our drinks start to dissipate.
“Life’s just been kicking me in the balls lately.”
“You want to talk about it?” he asks. I shake my head, prepared to blow it off and turn the conversation to more fun topics, like maybe back to his unexpected career writing smut. But Caspian nudges my foot under the table and gives me a sympathetic half smile that unlocks the words without my permission, and they just start to tumble out.
“I’ve been busting my ass at this data analysis firm the last few years, gunning hard for promotions, working long hours, letting my vacation time gather dust, all to get the higher ups to notice me. It felt like it was going well, but then last week I got the news that they were downsizing. Apparently, I had worked just hard enough to land myself in the category of ‘too expensive to keep on.’” I huff out a humorless laugh and take another sip of my drink. “And if that wasn’t bad enough, my roommate kicked me out so his girlfriend could move in. So, you are currently looking at an unemployed homeless dude.”
I lick my lips and fix my attention on the little beads of condensation forming on my glass rather than on Caspian. I’d really rather not see the pity I’m sure is in his eyes. Damn, I wish I had another shot of tequila.
He nudges my foot again and I finally look back up. There’s sympathy in his eyes, but no pity. A knot loosens in my chest.
“That fucking sucks. I’m sorry, man.”
I shrug and sit up a little straighter. “The weird thing is, I don’t even really care. I mean, I care , but I think what’s bothering me more than losing my job and my apartment is that I feel like I’ve just been doing it all wrong.” My own words surprise me. I wasn’t thinking about it consciously, but it must have been in the back of my mind, because as soon as I say it, something right clicks into place. “My parents lectured me to death about having a stable job and making smart choices with my money, and I’ve done all that, but it feels like I’m barely treading water anyway. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be, is it?”
“I think it’s supposed to be hard,” he says, leaning on the table. The muscles in his arms bulge distractingly while he plays with his straw and looks at me like he’s deeply fascinated by everything I’m saying. “But I don’t think you’re supposed to be miserable.”
I nod and pick up my drink, bypassing the straw so I can gulp down several mouthfuls fast enough that the icy temperature gives me brain freeze.
“So, what the fuck do I do now? I can spend the next few weeks or months sending out résumés to every data analysis firm in the country, but who’s to say I won’t just end up right where I am again in a few years? Is job stability another one of those millennial urban legends like affordable housing and college being worth the cost?”
“Fuck the system.” He raises a fist in solidarity.
I’m starting to feel the tequila go to my head, making me lighter and just a little looser. Caspian finishes his drink, then catches the attention of a waiter hurrying by to order us another round.
CASPIAN
“Okay, enough of my depressing bullshit,” Nolan declares after we both knock back a second round of shots.
My eyes track the path of his wet pink tongue over his lips after he bites into a fresh lime wedge. It sucks to hear that he’s going through such a hard time, but in a weird way, it humanizes him. Until now, he’s always seemed so mature and untouchable, up on a pedestal I could never reach. He leans in closer over the table, his smile looser now, like the tequila is giving him a buzz. It’s definitely making my head feel a little fuzzy and my body hot… or maybe that’s not so much the alcohol and more down to the way Nolan keeps undressing me with his eyes.
“Tell me about the book you’re writing,” he says.
“I’m not sure yet, actually.” I nudge his foot with mine under the table again, and he doesn’t pull away. If anything, he leans into the feeling of our knees bumping.
“Writer’s block?” he asks, a look of serious concern flashing over his face that’s a lot fucking cuter than it has any right to be.
“Nah, just waiting for an idea to grab me. After I finish a long series, I like to write a one-off or two. Stuff I can have low pressure fun with. No commitment.”
“Like having a few rebound flings after getting out of a relationship?” he asks, and his cheeks turn pink. “Nothing but hot, sweaty, no-strings-attached sex. Even if it’s a little wrong, who would even know?” His voice dips lower as he’s talking, and his eyes drift to my mouth.
My cock thickens and my lips tingle with the urge to drag him over the table and kiss him until we’re both rock hard and breathless. I shift in my seat, and Nolan seems to snap out of his trance, jerking his attention away from my mouth and giving his head a quick shake.
Is this wrong? We’re both adults. My brother is straight as an arrow, so it’s not like he’s harboring some long-standing crush on his best friend. There are no rational reasons Nolan should be off limits. And if there were, I’m not sure I’d give a fuck about them.
“It’s exactly like that,” I agree, matching his gravelly, horny tone with one of my own. “I do have one idea I’ve been kicking around actually. Want to hear about it?”
He picks up his drink and takes a deep swig from it, his throat bobbing as he swallows and nods in response.
He has nowhere else to go this summer, and I have no intention of going back to my apartment in the city until this next book is done. Maybe that’s reason enough for me to pump the brakes and think about this before I jump in with both feet. But I didn’t get where I am by being cautious. Taking risks has paid off for me, and I already know I’m about to take another, regardless of how it might turn out.
“Romance books are all about tropes and pairings, and my favorites are brother’s best friend stories.” I hold his gaze, watching the subtle dilation of his pupils. “I think it would be hot to write a book where one of the guys has always harbored a crush on his older brother’s best friend, even though they haven’t seen each other in years. And the thing is, the guy has kind of an ugly duckling thing going on. He was an awkward, dorky kid, but now he’s a certified beefcake bear cub.”
Nolan snorts into his next sip, spraying some of his drink out through his nose. I chuckle and hand him a napkin. He mops his face and then looks at me again.
“He’s had a thing for this other guy since he was a kid?” There’s a husky edge to his voice.
“Yeah. It’s a bit cliché, but that’s totally allowed in romance.” I wink and grin.
“So, they haven’t seen each other in years, but they run into each other again. Then what happens?”
He’s leaning over the table again, but I don’t know whether he realizes it. I’m leaning in too, drawn towards him like a magnet.
“I’m not sure yet,” I murmur, my gaze dipping to his lips and then back up again. “But they definitely have chemistry. I know it’ll be hot, explosive, primal when they give in to the attraction brewing between them.”
Nolan swallows hard, and the match we’ve been playing with since he walked in earlier finally sparks. We move at the same time, our chairs scraping over the wood floor and the glasses rattling on the table between us as we crash together. I hook my hand behind his neck and he grabs a fistful of my shirt, our lips slamming into each other in a desperate, hungry explosion. The sweet, fruity flavor of the drinks lingers on our breath, along with the tang of the tequila.
There’s nothing shy or tentative about the kiss. Some first kisses are like dipping your toe into the water—both of you unsure, holding back, not quite ready to jump. This kiss is a cannonball, bold and fucking thrilling. My lips part on a soft moan, and Nolan shoves his tongue between them to stroke and tangle with mine. He’s so fucking sweet. Not just the syrupy drink on his tongue, but the taste of him underneath.
He quivers, and I can feel his skin heating against mine. I want to explore every inch of him with my mouth. I want to chase that blush of his across the planes of his body until I’ve memorized every one. I want to take him apart and make him scream my name until this throat is raw. I want to finally fuck this lifelong crush out of my system. ‘Just once to scratch the itch’ never works in the books I write, but what about in real life? Do I even want it to be a one and done?
An idea occurs to me, and I rumble a laugh against his mouth. He pulls back half an inch, his damp, swollen lips hitching in a smile.
“Something funny?”
I shake my head, the motion bumping our noses together.
“No, not exactly. It’s just that I remembered my mom is having the upstairs bedrooms renovated at the moment, which means there’s only one bed.”
He arches an eyebrow and grins.
“One bed should work.” He leans in again and gently nips at my bottom lip. “But maybe we should head back to the house so you can show me. You know, just to make sure.”
“Yeah,” I growl, my cock throbbing and my heart pounding. “Let’s go.”