6. Chapter 6
Chapter 6
NOLAN
I’m buzzing with excited energy as I hurry up to my hotel room after my interview. It’s nothing fancy, barely a step-up from a grungy motel, but the fact that this tiny start-up game developer paid for it just to talk to me is still blowing my mind.
The past two months have been a whirlwind—this whole thing with Caspian, taking a blind leap into a new career path. I feel like I’ve barely had a second to breathe. I toe off my shoes and cross the small room to flop down on the bed, a smile etched on my face from the day I just had.
Leaving the beach house early this morning was so much harder than I expected it to be. Or maybe it was having to leave Caspian all warm and sleepy in bed that was actually the hard part. For a second, I almost said, “Fuck it” and just stayed. If this had been an interview for a data analysis job, I might have. But I don’t think he would have let me blow this one off just to stay home and kiss him all day, even if I’d wanted to.
Home .
Caspian has been enough of a distraction all summer to keep me from thinking about the fact that I’m rootless right now. A blank page—that’s what he says any time I’ve tried to get self-deprecating about things, and I might be starting to come around to his way of thinking. The future could be anything I want it to be, and instead of feeling hopeless and terrifying, that’s suddenly thrilling.
Getting in the car this morning, part of me thought that leaving the beach, leaving Caspian, would break some kind of spell. Like if the real world bled into our happy summer bubble, all the things I’ve been feeling for him would just slip away.
I put a hand on my chest and feel the flutter in my heart at just the thought of Cas. The feelings are definitely all still there, and right now, riding high from my interview, there’s only one person I want to talk to.
The phone only rings once before Caspian’s husky voice comes through the other end.
“Nols.”
I chuckle and bite my lip, my smile growing exponentially wider just from hearing my name on his lips.
“Were you just sitting there staring at your phone, waiting for me to call?” I tease, secretly loving the idea that he’s missing me as much as I’m missing him, even though we’ve only been apart for about fourteen hours.
“Yes, and I won’t be shamed about it,” he says with that cocky confidence I can’t get enough of. “Now, tell me about how it went. Did you crush it? Did they cancel all the rest of their interviews and hire you on the spot? Did they elect you president of the company?”
I laugh again and my heart gives another warm, insistent flutter. How the fuck have I lived this long without having a cheerleader like him in my corner? Slater has always been a fantastic hype man, but Cas takes it to a whole other level.
“King of the universe, actually,” I joke. “It went amazing . I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect, but I clicked with these guys right away. They’re super chill and honestly just a couple of nerds with a vision.” Excitement pulses inside of me again, settling into a pit of longing in my gut. I want this so fucking badly. “We talked about video games for like three hours and then they gave me a tour of the place. It’s exactly how they described it—just bare, rented office space with room for a few desks and computers.”
“And you’re fucking psyched about it,” he says knowingly, a smile in his voice.
I groan. “I’m so fucking psyched. This is the worst.”
“What?” He chuckles. “I think you lost me.”
“I’ve never cared like this before. I took that stupid, boring job because it was supposed to be stable, but I think part of me also liked that it was safer. Emotionally, I mean. Getting laid off sucked financially, but I never lost a second of sleep over the job itself. If I don’t get this job though, I think I’ll be devastated.”
“I get it. It’s scary as hell to put yourself out there and risk getting hurt. But isn’t it better to take the leap than to keep your feet on the ground and miss out on all this excitement? Isn’t it better to feel something?” His voice is so full of passion and conviction that it makes my lips ache to kiss the hell out of him.
“Yeah,” I agree with a slight tremble. “I think it is.”
He hums happily, and the sound raises goose bumps all over my skin. “I just want you to live your best, most incredible life. You deserve it, Nols. You deserve everything.”
My heart swells and words clog up my throat.
I’m so in love with this man. How could I not be? He has this gravitational pull of positivity and confidence that I want to bask in forever. He’s the sweetest, most genuine man I’ve ever met.
But there’s still one little problem.
“I think we should tell Slater,” I say.
He’s quiet for just a second, and then he makes a whoop sound that’s so loud I have to pull the phone away from my ear.
“Hell yeah. That means what I think it does, right? This is bigger than a summer fling?”
“I think it is. Obviously, if I get this job—”
“ When you get the job,” he jumps in to correct me.
I grin and roll my eyes, even though he can’t see me. “We’ll have to talk about logistics, but yeah, Cas, I—” I bite my tongue. I’m not going to tell him I love him for the first time over the phone when I’m a couple of states away.
“Those are just details.” I can practically see him waving his hand dismissively as he says it. “This has been the best summer of my life, Nols. I’m crazy about you.”
“I’m crazy about you too, Cas,” I whisper. We’re both quiet for a minute, and I imagine him grinning like a fool with a hand over his thundering heart just like I am. “Now, tell me what you’re wearing.” I dip my voice low.
He rumbles a laugh. “Nothing but a smile, baby.”
CASPIAN
I peek into the oven to check on dinner, then look at the clock for the hundredth time in the past twenty minutes. Nolan’s plane landed an hour ago, which means he should be walking through the door any minute. I pulled out all the stops with dinner and even have a bottle of champagne chilling in the fridge.
After two months together full of long nights spent talking until sunrise and lazy mornings exploring each other’s bodies, I’m surprised by how nervous I am. This feels like a first date. We’re going to tell Slater the truth the next time we see him. We’re going to figure things out when Nolan gets this job. We’re going to do this thing for real.
Fuck, I couldn’t be happier.
The sound of an engine outside brings a fresh smile to my face. I wash my hands and double check that I’m happy with how the table looks, and then I hurry to the front door so I can greet him as soon as he steps inside.
The door starts to swing open when I’m halfway down the hall, and I pick up into a jog. All I can think about is sweeping him up into my arms and kissing the fuck out of him. Sunlight floods through the door and I skid to an abrupt stop.
“Wow, you missed your big bro so much that you’re sprinting to the door to greet me?” Slater teases, stepping inside and tossing a duffle bag down on the floor. He spreads his arms wide, and I laugh weakly, working through the whiplash of expecting Nolan and getting my brother instead.
He pulls me in for a hug, slapping my back and ruffling my hair when he releases me.
“You could have texted. You’re lucky I wasn’t dick out when you walked in.”
His eyebrows go up and he laughs. “You’ve been making a habit of walking around naked all summer with Nolan here? Poor guy must need a gallon of eye bleach every day.”
I open and close my mouth, floundering for a response. Do I tell him? Would Nolan want me to wait until he’s here or just rip the Band-Aid off?
“Damn, something smells good.” He sniffs the air, pats my chest, and then skirts past me towards the kitchen.
“It’s chicken marsala. I figured Nolan would be hungry after traveling.” I follow him to the kitchen. “What are you doing here?”
“Way to make a guy feel welcome.” Slater chuckles. “I told you I’ve been trying to get away for the weekend. It sucks you guys have been having all kinds of fun up here all summer without me.”
I choke on a laugh and cover it with a cough. “I don’t think it’s been the kind of fun you’d be interested in.”
“What? You two art geeks wasting the summer sitting inside?” he teases.
“Pretty much,” I answer honestly.
“Cas.” Nolan’s voice rings out from the front hall. “I cannot believe you didn’t greet me at the door with your—”
“Slater’s here,” I shout, cutting him off before he can really blow our big reveal. Although, with how dense Slater is being, he might even chalk whatever Nolan was about to say up to nothing more than friendly joking anyway.
“Wha—” Nolan comes around the corner and stops in his tracks, his eyes going wide. His smile slips into an expression of panic, then returns as he huffs out a breathless titter of laughter. “Slater, holy shit. I can’t believe you’re here.”
He crosses the kitchen, and my brother yanks him into a big hug, slapping his back and then hanging on for a few extra seconds. I study the way Slater holds on to Nolan, making sure I haven’t missed any signs that my brother might be crushing on his best friend. But everything about the embrace screams ‘platonic.’ I let out a relieved breath and skirt around them to pull the food out of the oven.
“You made dinner,” Nolan says when they part.
“I figured a welcome back celebration was in order,” I say, going over to the fridge and pulling out the bottle of champagne.
A sweet smile tilts his lips and his cheeks pink. “Cas,” he says my name softly.
Slater snorts. “He was gone for like thirty hours. Or… wait…” He looks between the two of us with a calculating look in his eyes. “Did you get the job, No?”
“I’m not sure yet. They told me they were doing another interview today and that I’d hear back within the week.”
“You’re going to get it,” I say confidently, my fingers itching to reach out for him and pull him into a kiss.
“I hope so,” he says with a groan, then he looks back at Slater. “Oh shoot, I just realized there’s nowhere for you to sleep. The bedrooms upstairs are all stripped bare, right?”
My brother frowns and I bite the inside of my cheek against the guilty smile that wants to spread across my face.
“What are you talking about? The bedrooms were re-done last year.” He frowns.
Nolan’s mouth falls open and he turns on me with a look of scandalized amusement. “You lied to me?”
I cringe and hold my finger and thumb up half an inch apart. “A tiny lie.”
“Wait, where have you been sleeping?” Slater asks.
Nolan and I share a look. Who’s going to be the one to spell it out for him? Nolan raises an eyebrow at me, and I can hear the unspoken thought behind it. You lied about there only being one bed, so you can repent by being the one to spill it. I sigh. Fair enough.
“Slate, dude, you’ve gotta be a little quicker on the uptake. Nolan and I have been sharing a bed.”
The furrow between his eyebrows deepens like he’s trying to work out a particularly complex math problem.
“Like…”
“Like, we’re together. Dating. Fucking.” That’s about as clear as I can make it without a full-on demonstration.
His face scrunches up and he puts his hands over his ears. “Duuuuuude, I do not need to hear about my little brother’s sex life. Lalalalala.”
I laugh and Nolan tugs on Slater’s wrist to get him to uncover his ears. “You’re not mad?”
“Kind of mad that you just made me picture it, but other than that, why would I care? As long as you guys don’t plan to have a messy breakup and try to get me to take sides, I don’t give a shit what you do.” He shrugs.
“No plans for a messy breakup,” I confirm, and Nolan bites his bottom lip, meeting my eyes and shaking his head in agreement.
“Cool. Hey, grab an extra plate for me, would you? I’m starving.”
I grin and pull a plate out of the cabinet behind me, handing it to my brother. While he dishes up his food, I finally do what I’ve been dying to do all day—pull Nolan into my arms and kiss him breathless.
“Really? Right in front of my chicken marsala?” Slater deadpans.
Nolan’s eyebrows fly up. “Did he just make a reference to a gay porn movie?” he whispers.
“Yeah, I’m not even going to dig into that one right now.”
“Probably wise,” Nolan agrees, pecking my lips one more time before I let him go. “Why don’t you pop the champagne? It feels like we have a lot to celebrate.”
I couldn’t agree more.