Chapter 6
CALLUM
The group manages to get themselves back at the right time. They must be trying to make a good impression, but they’ll get lax with the timeliness soon enough. Wee Sunshine is having a field day with their punctuality, looking over at me and gloating with those eyes.
Let’s give it one more day before we hand out the gold stars. Hell, let’s give it until after their first night out.
The check-in happens with little difficulty, each tourist getting their bags from the bus, taking their key, and heading to their room. We have a half hour to rest and then it’ll be to the pub for the first group meal of the trip.
I’ll need longer than that to get used to the idea of being trapped in a small pub with nineteen Americans, all yelling and carrying on. A group to whom the concept of inside voices has absolutely no meaning.
“See you down here in fifteen minutes,” Asha says as she pockets her own room key.
Ah, the best part of being a tour leader: getting everywhere early.
Fifteen minutes later, after dumping my luggage in the room and scrolling my phone for ten minutes, I’m sitting in the lobby when Asha comes down.
“At least you’re punctual.” I nod approvingly.
She ignores the dig because what is the opinion of a storm cloud to the sun?
“Do you have the meal vouchers from the office for your group?” She waves hers in front of my face.
“I do.” I pull them out of my backpack, waving them at her.
“Excellent.”
Roshni and Camila are down first, maintaining their title of most punctual, followed closely by everyone else.
They must be very hungry. And if they miss dinner, they have to pay for something themselves, and even though Edinburgh isn’t as expensive as London, it’s not exactly cheap either.
The stomach and the wallet: excellent motivators.
“Great! We’re all here, and I’m sure we’re all hungry, so let’s get to the pub. It’s not a far walk.” Asha has a surprising amount of authority and confidence as she walks through the winding, medieval roads of Edinburgh’s old town. I guess a lot has changed for both of us since the training trip.
We get to the pub without losing anyone along the way, me taking the back while Asha leads in the front. It’s an efficient way to make sure no one wanders off, but I’m not used to the luxury you get when there’s two guides.
In the pub, Asha makes sure everyone’s settled as we take over a corner at the Victoria.
“I’m sure you’re all excited for our first family dinner, and I’m right there with you.
We’ve got the menus passed out, with some fine traditional pub fair.
Fish and chips. Some delicious meat pies.
Mushy peas. A chicken curry. And for any vegetarians, chips and chips with a side of mushy peas.
Welcome to the United Kingdom.” She waits for the groans at her joke, and they don’t disappoint.
Tourist reactions rarely do, despite how unique they think they are.
“The meal is covered, as well as soft drinks, but no refills. We’ve also ordered some plates of haggis if people wanted to try it without committing to an entire meal of it.
And any alcohol you desire can be purchased individually at the bar. Enjoy!”
Done with her speech, she searches the room for a free spot. Which turns out to be at a table with me, Roshni, and Camila. She sits down with a smile, giving the couple a chance to review the menu.
Once we all order, she snaps into tour guide mode. “How are you enjoying the trip so far? All one day of it, at least.”
“It’s been good. We ate some sausage rolls for lunch that were pretty good and saw the National Gallery,” Roshni says.
“They have some truly beautiful art,” Asha says.
There’s a tension in the air at the table, the same one there was when they checked in. Still not my business, but Asha doesn’t feel the same, because she keeps trying to engage them in conversation.
Roshni answers all the questions, while Camila is silent. When she excuses herself to use the bathroom and get a drink, Asha leans over to Roshni. “Is Camila all right? If she’s not feeling well, we can run down to the chemist and get some medicine.”
Roshni sighs. “She’s fine. Well, medically.
We’ve just been fighting over her job. She’s a CEO for a start-up and I’m so proud of her.
But she’s always so busy and doesn’t have time for me.
She didn’t even want to come on the trip, but I reminded her that she promised we would have a five-year anniversary trip to Europe when she was settled in her career.
Since we didn’t have the time or money for a honeymoon.
” She shrugs, looking miserable for someone celebrating their love.
“I’m sure her mind is still in LA and right now she’s trying to sneak to the bathroom to send off some reports or whatever CEOs do. ”
Asha reaches out to pat the dejected woman on her shoulder. “It’s only the first day. Give Europe some time to do its magic.”
Then Asha shares an unusually (for her) somber look with me.
Because she left off the rest of the sentence.
Which is that the magic of Europe can bring a couple together, but in a lot of cases, the stress of traveling can break one apart.
But either way, a whirlwind tour of a continent, with its beautiful sights, exhausting days, and sometimes questionable foods, will reveal truths about people. And their relationships.
We’ve seen it all on this job.
When Camila comes back with drinks for herself and Roshni, Asha seamlessly changes the subject. “What are you most excited for, Camila?”
The woman is startled by the direct questions, her mind probably on those reports. “Oh. I’ve always wanted to see the Louvre. So much beautiful art in one place. And then have a good, French meal. It’s my favorite food.”
“We can definitely make that happen.” Asha smiles at her, and my mouth aches in sympathy. She’s been smiling all day; how can she possibly keep this up? Does she do special exercises to build up the muscles around her mouth? What would mouth exercises be, anyway?
Seems like a lot of effort for an inadequate payoff. I’ll only smile if something genuinely amuses me. Which on tour, is rarely. At least, rarely in front of the customers.
I have too much to think about on tour. There’s the day-to-day admin like hotels, meal vouchers, and coordinating travel, but also I want to give them the best education that I can.
I do enjoy history, and I take my responsibility seriously to tell these groups about it.
I want to see the way their eyes light up when they learn a particularly interesting to them fact, or the “ah-ha!” moment when they make connections over all the things they learned through the tour and how it relates to things that happened in other cities.
And I can’t do all of that well, and keep up the smiles like Asha can.
Asha dominates the conversation, making more of an effort to draw Roshni and Camila out. I stalk the waiter with my eyes, wanting the food to get here so I can eat and then leave the group to their own devices.
The food finally comes, and I inhale the meat pie in front of me. Thank Christ my job has built in exercise in the form of walking all over Europe, because I’ll be eating out for the next twenty days, and truly healthy options aren’t easily available.
Finally, Asha and I handle the checks, and then I get everyone’s attention.
“Tomorrow we have a walking tour of Edinburgh Castle and then a trip to a whisky distillery.” Which can turn into an absolute mess, if the fraternity brothers have anything to say about it.
So much to look forward to. “Meet at the hotel lobby at eight a.m.”
“You’re not staying?” James asks us.
“We’ll stay for a bit.” Asha nudges me in the side before I can contradict her with an emphatic no.
Which is what I had planned on saying before she opened her mouth.
“And of course, you can always ask the bar staff here for some suggestions if you want to go out somewhere else. They know more about what’s hip than me, if I’m honest.”
I glare at her for making me spend more time with the tourists, and she winks at me in response. You really can’t dampen sunshine. Not without more effort than I’m putting in, at any rate. Or going further than even I would want to. We’ll see if she cracks by the end of the tour.
But I guess I’m staying for a drink now.
One drink, which turns into three. I’m surprised that it isn’t that bad.
Louis and Brian are actually interested in history and pretty knowledgeable in it, so I chat with them about Henry VIII’s dissolution of monasteries.
Their son Jack gets bored with us, and leaves to chat up Virginia away from their parents.
Asha is shining in this atmosphere. She’s decent enough with the history, I suppose, but the way she flutters from group to group, making them all feel valued and befriended, is real talent.
And the way she brings different groups together.
Especially the way she draws the single tourists out and incorporates them in conversation with others, helping them with the always daunting task of meeting new people.
And the way she avoids the overeager Kevin, who seeks her out in every group she moves to. The wee arse has no chance. It’s literally her job to be nice to him. She gets paid to not run away screaming from him, but he seems to take her professionalism for interest. Or maybe he just hopes it is.
But she’s an adult and can take care of herself.
Still.
Maybe sunshine humans aren’t as good at fending off predators.
Always looking for the good in everyone in their quest for optimism.
I’ll keep an eye out. Only because it will ruin the group dynamics both if she turns him down and he sulks or, god forbid, if they actually do anything.
It’ll be awkward and uncomfortable, and will reflect in our end-of-tour surveys.
And we need good surveys.
Finally, after groups start leaving to see what other nightlife offerings there are in Edinburgh, Asha lets me go back to the hotel. A few people (the groups with children) follow us back at a distance, weighed down by the heavy food and drinks, a long day, and jet lag.
“Thank you for hanging out with us,” Asha says.
“You didn’t give me much choice when you announced we were staying.”
“It’s the first night. They need us to help loosen everyone up so they can start friendships that will probably last a lifetime.”
“That is above and beyond the call of our duty. We need to teach them history that will expand their worldview and make them more aware of why the world is the way it is today. If they turn into absolute beasts at a pub quiz because of their newfound knowledge, that’s an acceptable effect, too.”
Asha rolls her eyes. “We can’t keep getting into this argument where you don’t know the scope of your job, and I have to keep telling you it’s to make the customers happy, along with teaching them.
Actually, speaking of…” Asha speeds up to put some more distance between us and the families following us.
“What are we going to do about Camila and Roshni?” She whispers the question.
“Show them Europe?” This must be a trick question.
“No, about their marriage.”
“Absolutely bloody nothing.”
“But they need our help! And the help of Europe’s magic!”
“No. They need a marriage counselor. Or maybe a divorce lawyer. Either way, it’s not in the scope of my job, and it’s none of my business.”
“You can’t just sit here and let a marriage be in trouble.”
“I’m not qualified to do anything about it. If they want me to give them a lesson on historic marriages, both good and bad, I can do that. And they can take any lesson they feel they can find there and apply it to their lives; that’s not on me.”
“I’m not letting this go.”
“I didn’t think you would. But you are going to interfere without any help from me.”
“Fine. Sit there and let romance be imperiled while you do nothing. When they get so thankful they name their first dog, cat, kid, or succulent after me, you’ll be sorry you missed out on Aloe Plant Callum.
Or English Bulldog Callum. And you know what?
That last one would fit.” She mumbles the last part and I ignore it.
“No, I don’t think I will be.”
“I will do this myself, then.”
She walks off in a huff, and I’m still not sure how I’m at fault here. Damn confusing woman.